Em in NYC

Oh, Hello! 

I've missed sharing so I'm going to try to start writing again. 

Catch me over here at my new space for eminnyc.com (I'll link to Tumblr when I figure out how). 

 XO 

The Definition of REGRET is...

I Scream, You Scream...

Cute story...

My fiancé had opinions about most of the things we registered for (they were welcomed). He specifically picked out a few things that were definitely more for him than me (he was SO cute about that). Well, I noticed that a few things had been purchased off the registry and I told him that one of the things that he picked out had been chosen by one of our generous gift givers....

Em: Guess What?! One of the items you were really excited about was purchased off our registry. Do you know what it is? 

Patrick: DID SOMEONE GET US THE ICE CREAM MAKER?!?!?!

Sadly (for him), it wasn’t the ice cream maker...but it was something he is really going to be excited about and use often. That said, I’ve never seen a grown man revert into a 5 year old so quickly...he LOVES ice cream. 

They did and they were super nice about it. 

You don’t care about this? That’s cool...I just had to tell someone. 

We have a date. I have my dress. We have our bridal party and our officiant. We have the venue and the designer and the caterer. The wedding is essentially planned with the exception of music. We don’t have our music....

and I feel like it’s because I don’t have my mother.

She was music to me. She was the singer, the piano player, the one who taught and encouraged my musical gifts and the only person in my life who was as emotionally connected through music as much as I am. 

it wasn’t until this morning when I sat down to start researching music for the ceremony that I was reminded of how much music can cause me to really feel things and just how much I miss her during this precious time in my life. I don’t want to focus on her absence but right now at this moment, I think I need to pull up a seat and get comfortable. I had shelved my grief for months, naively thinking that I had moved beyond the point of these deep swells of sadness and longing for her.  

The truth is, I’m just so pissed that she’s missing out and I’m missing out on her. She would have made the dresses for her granddaughters (our flower girls), insisted upon helping with all the little details that are often overlooked, and kept me inline with her standards of etiquette. More than anything, she’s missing out on getting to know Patrick and witness just how much he loves and cares for me. He is everything she ever could have wanted in a son-in-law and I’m just devastated that she doesn’t get to see us grow together as a family. 

it was this version of Falling Slowly that triggered the big fat tears that streamed down my red hot cheeks for the first time in months. I listened to it on repeat until I had cried it all out and it felt good. It felt freeing, sobering, and satisfying to focus on her for  a little while. It’s a reminder that I need to do it more often.

Instead of being here right next to me, I’ll have to settle for feeling her through the music...

Sympathy vs. Empathy

This was a really great reminder (and illustration) of how sympathy and empathy are two very different things. Even when the intentions of comfort come from the purest of heart, it’s important to understand the dissimilarity between the nouns. 

This little short resonated with me because I’m a “fixer” and an annoyingly optimistic person who tries her best to focus on the positives when possible (which is not usually easy). I’m constantly silver-lining everything and while it’s okay to apply that method to my own personal situations, I need to stop and think it through before I do it to someone else. 

Merry Christmas! My gift came a bit early this year...

Patrick and I saw Hamilton last Friday, December 18th. It was incredible and I loved every second of it because it really is just as wonderful as everyone says it is. However, I’m going to need to see it again because I was just a bit distracted.

Patrick picked me up at my apartment and we walked through a crisp and cool Central Park to the Richard Rodgers Theatre. The christmas lights were twinkling all over Tavern on the Green and and there were only a few people enjoying an evening stroll through the park like us. It was a very New York night and I was relishing in how happy and grateful I felt. The anticipation of seeing Hamilton and the post-show dinner that he had planned at Jean-Georges made for an incredibly special night. It couldn’t have gotten better...

Until it did.

Just north of Central Park South on a little hill under a pretty little light post, Patrick stopped and sweetly asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. 

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. A million times yes. 

So yeah, I’m going to need to see Hamilton again because Patrick completely upstaged Lin-Manuel and totally stole the show. We’re getting married in 2016!

We’re hosting our company holiday party this evening and my creative team put some great video wall content together (we have a 120′ high definition video wall in our venue). This is my favorite little piece. 

Here’s a boring holiday update for ya... 

(because you’re all just dying to know where I was last Thursday, I know.)

We spent the Thanksgiving holiday weekend in Gloucester, MA with Patrick’s family. His birthday actually fell on Thanksgiving which meant we ate pie AND cake...no complaints here! Patrick’s work schedule has been insane (*understatement*) and our quality time together has been sparse. I was thrilled to spend several days with him as he remains to be the living being I’m most thankful for. 

I went vegetarian in 2015 so this was my first meatless holiday that happens to be very meat-focused. I didn’t miss the Turkey since I’m more of a cranberry sauce + stuffing + mashed potatoes person anyway. I made a pumpkin pie and it was pretty great. Cool story.

I’m ready to put November behind me and finish the year on a high note. My calendar is sprinkled with all kinds of festive holiday gatherings but I think I’m most excited about seeing Hamilton in a few weeks (!!!). I hope I didn’t spoil my reaction to the production or set my expectations too high by memorizing almost every song on the album before stepping foot in the theater (like every other Hamilton/Lin-Manuel stan) . That would really be throwing away my shot. Post Holiday-Hamilton craziness, I’ll be traveling to Portland, OR to drink wine spend Christmas with my dad’s side of the family. Oh, and for those who might be wondering if the engagement happened, it hasn’t yet.