effervescent

If they think I won’t crawl thru that shit they got another thing coming.

Amazing

today on satan makes a blog post

Life tip: if someone slashes 3 of your tires, slash the 4th one yourself and blame it on the person who slashed the first 3. Now, your insurance will pay for it.

Life tip: If you slash 3 of their tires, hide out nearby until they discover their slashed tires. Take pictures of them slashing their fourth tire. Show police when they arrive on scene. Convicted of insurance fraud and still have to pay for tires.

i feel like i’m reading a Spy vs Spy comic in text format

yes

Lmmmmaaaaooo

BUT HE DIED THE SAME DAY HURRICANE SANDY STARTED

OH SHIT

why would someone do this?? that’s fucking evil. i hope you get your wheelchair back

THIS IS WHY HAVING AN INVISIBLE ILLNESS IS SHIT, HECK PEOPLE WITH VISIBLE ILLNESSES EVEN HAVE THIS HAPPEN SOMETIMES

Oh my God, you can’t even see her fucking collarbone! I had to squint to find it! WHAT THE FUCK.

SERIOUSLY?  Swap out the jeans for a pair of slacks, and I’d wear that to WORK.

this just in: girls are not allowed to have bones. you must become invertebrates. ooze to class, leaving a trail of slime

trying to sound like a normal interested person in public

#”hello yes i would like 2400 donuts”#” okay sir what event are you hosting?”#”the event is called ‘i am going to eat 2400 donuts’ ”

2000 years later: “The strange glyphs appearing on gravestones from the early 21st century onward remain a mystery. These astoundingly complex patterns (no two exactly the same) have been found on many other 21st century artifacts, and are believed to have religious significance. Recovered images suggest they were probably sacred to the ancient North American god, Apple, and were meant to ensure that the departed would continue to be financially successful in the afterlife.”

As an archaeologist I can confirm that that is pretty much exactly what will happen in the future.

This is what “equality” looks like in that liberal fairy tale land of Finland.  They punish you proportionately to how successful you are.  Sounds really “fair.”