𝒄𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒄𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒃𝒊𝒕𝒄𝒉

The brain freeze was guaranteed, hitting Lucas no sooner than he’d finished slurping down the last of his drink (with minimal spillage, amazingly) and plopped the empty glass back onto the table. “Gah.” He winced, snagging a stray napkin on the way up from his seat to wipe his chin while Emilia used some super stealth moves to ensure that they wouldn’t go dry while retracing their steps through the park. The only thing worse than a brain freeze smacking him right in the forehead? Winding up hungover while still in the middle of Disney. No one deserved that fate.

“Man, I dunno if I can promise that. A giant churro sounds pretty, pretty, prettay good.” Tugging down the zipper of his hoodie, he started to pull it off as they stopped on the faux boardwalk, glancing over to follow Emilia’s gaze out to the water. He snickered softly, thoughts going in a very different direction. “How many kids do you think have peed in it?” Maybe he just really needed to pee now… Going full Vacation Dad, Lucas tied the hoodie around his waist before walking towards the railing that surrounded the lake. He looked down at the shimmering water and nodded to himself, head continuing to bob while he spoke, “Y’know, I bet that’s exactly why they put Mickey right there.” Gripping the railing with one hand, his other raised to wag an accusing finger at the looming Ferris wheel. “Way up there, with his huge face and judgmental smile to stop anyone from having too much fun. That look – it says ‘I’m always watching and you won’t get away with it.’”

Emilia pursed her lips at his refusal to keep her from Señor Buzz, although it wasn’t particularly surprising that the promise of food won out. “Fine, maybe we can share some. We can like analyze them and try to figure out the recipe. It’ll be for science.” She hadn’t even said it out loud before she knew that was not a plan that was ever going to come to fruition, as was the case with most of their plans. It was a good one, though, mostly because it prematurely made her feel justified in ordering a cheeseburger later, an inevitable event at that point. Even if it was rhetorical, his question made her sputter with laughter through her mouthful of sangria, spilling drips all over her sweatshirt that she’d worry about later. “Since they’ve installed a whole pee guardian, I’d say more kids than I’d like to know about.” She grimaced at the thought and washed it down with another gulp of sangria before offering the cup to Lucas. “You just know Connor was one of those kids. Maybe he’s the literal reason Mickey is watching over us now.”

“No cheating, okay?” She looked over, making sure that his eyes were still covered as she led him outside by the hand. “The guys helped me out with this so like, do it for them.” Maybe it should have felt harder to shop for Matt, considering how he had more than enough money, certainly more than she did, and seemed perfectly content to just buy himself whatever random thing he wanted on a whim. Fortunately for Mia, she hadn’t even begun to worry about any of that. She was happy to get him stupid sentimental presents, just as much for her own sake as for his. Their anniversary wasn’t supposed to be treated as a huge event anyway; really, it was mainly another excuse to day drink and be as gross as possible.

If there was one testament to how comfortable she felt at Matt’s house, it was that she’d had her roommates haul his present over in Lucas’s mini van and drop it off on the patio in the back without involving Matt or Margot in the process at all. She probably should have cleared it with them, but that concern wasn’t on her radar either once she’d settled on her idea. “Okay, you can look now,” she said, not quite nervous about his reaction but well aware that it was a bit on the silly side. In front of them was a small tree, sitting in an ornate pot that she’d picked out with Juno the week before. “I talked to someone at The Huntington, and I really tried to convince them but they didn’t wanna put a plaque up on the actual tree saying we made out there,” she said, her tone not quite revealing if she was joking about that or not. “But anyway it’s the same kinda tree, just like, a cute little one. And we can plant it out here or whatever, if you want."

“I dunno how you pulled that off,” he started while heaving a sigh, the exaggerated huff jerking his shoulders up and down in one fluid motion. Lucas pulled an almost wistful look. “Oswalt’s just made for that model lifestyle, man. Can’t say that Fresh’ll ever catch up and quit acting like he’s feral.” He looked out over the top of Emilia’s head for a moment longer, as if picturing the fluffy, white feline in question, before simply clucking his tongue. As long as Fresh wound up fat and happy, Lucas didn’t really care if he never managed to wrangle him into a costume for longer than five minutes. His grin spread wider, laughter spilling freely at Emilia’s spot-on impression of Connor – only honking at a slightly obnoxious level when she twisted around to apologize to a nearby table. They were in the happiest place on earth, after all, couldn’t they laugh themselves dumb if they wanted? “What’re Matt’s feelings on Tinkerbell?” He asked once he’d wrangled himself in, waggling his brows with the implied suggestion that the wings could still work out as a souvenir. Their new plan of action sounded solid, though, and Lucas sat a little straighter as he scooped up his own horrendous hat purchase, sliding the baseball cap on backwards. “We gotta chug ‘em,” he said sagely, “Not a drop wasted. That’s like, the rule of fifteen dollar drinks.” Straw plucked from his drink and set aside on a stray napkin, Lucas lifted his glass for a mini-cheers. “To no more tentacles, never again.”

Even if the details of who would end up in the Tinkerbell wings were still being ironed out, she’d all but decided they were going back for them. If the ultimate result was her needing to make the grand sacrifice of keeping them for herself, then so be it. “I think he’s more about like, anime girls but Tinkerbell has that really short skirt so.” She gave a wry smile by way of apology, but at the same time he was the one who’d brought that whole thing up. “Maybe I’ll do like, a fairy roleplay thing for my channel." She pondered whether she’d be able to write the wings off as a business expense while she swirled the remaining third of her tentacle drink around, bracing herself for a second before she echoed his never again and chugged the last of it.

Emilia decided to follow through with her plan of sneaking another drink into her slushy cup before they headed back out to Pixar Pier, mainly because their slightly questionable version of berry sangria was only $10 and she couldn’t pass that up. They’d probably need to keep their buzz going anyway. “You gotta keep me away from the churro stand at all cost or I’m gonna blow my entire food budget for the month on the spicy ones,” she said, readjusting her mouse ears once again as she stopped to look over the small body of water in front of them. “How many times d’you think someone’s been arrested for trying to go swimming here?” she mused, looking over at the Ferris wheel across the pier. “I feel like Mickey’s just like, sitting over there waiting to judge me for jumping in.”

miss you all, and i fully intend to come back to annoy you all again asap.

lucas: eeeehhhhhhhhh

lucas: i expected more 😂😂😂😂

lucas: ig my sick meme-finding skills will continue to be underappreciated

lucas: u r right. he can have a SMALL blast

lucas: i'm still convinced he stole that hoodie i cant find.

emilia: i mean i did just crown u crunchwrap supreme so

emilia: but i’m sorry i wasn’t more enthusiastic, i must be more sick than i thought 🥺🥺

emilia: ur truly so ahead of ur time

emilia: would a small blast be like, a boom?

emilia: or a poof maybe? vote now

PLAY ▶

“Oh hell yeah, let’s go,” Billie said, zipping up the tent. She wasn’t leaving any valuables inside it besides her e-reader, and that too was not such a terrible one to lose in case anyone broke into the tent. Shoving her phone in her right pocket and a packet of Kleenex in the other (you never knew when nature would call), she double-checked that her car was locked, and slid the keys into her back pocket. “I am ready to explore and become one with nature. You know what? We should pick a nice spot when we find it and like, meditate there, if you want. I can guide us, I’ve been trying this new thing in the mornings…”   

“Oh my god, yes.” She clapped her hands with ready excitement, thrilled with her decision to ask Billie to tag along. “I’ve been trying to get more into that, but you know...” she flailed a hand in the air, not bothering to finish her sentence. Everyone who knew Mia knew how much she struggled to sit still and be quiet. Even if the evaluations in her childhood had determined that she didn’t actually have ADD, she had enough of the characteristics that her family remained somewhat unconvinced. Setting off on a path that at least proved that they weren’t that far from civilization, she looked up to the sky and breathed a long sigh, then turned to Billie with her nose scrunched up, "Anyway, I also brought some tea I got sorta like... under the table at Rose Quartz so if I have some of that first, I’m definitely good. This might end up turning into like, a High Yoga retreat and I’m totally here for it."

aspen: mhm.. sure ;)

aspen: i mean.. who are you to say that I don't want that?

aspen: okay. but i'm like... getting there.. right?

emilia: true idk what ur into

emilia: BUT now u have given up the right to complain when it gets annoying 👅

“I mean I think I’d be a good challenger. Law school kinds of teaches you how to interpret things to get what you want. To a certain extent, of course.” Karla smiled, she didn’t love bragging about her occupation but in some instances, she couldn’t help but to insert a humble brag. “I was going to act as if it was my birthday. And it just so happens…” Her words trailed off as she pulled out a birthday tiara from her bag and held it up. “-That I have this.”

Emilia nodded, feeling the slightest sting of envy because she’d long abandoned her own plans of going to law school. Not a great loss in the grand scheme of things, to be fair. “One day I’m gonna do some shit just so I can hire you as my lawyer and watch you work,” she joked, though the Law & Order style legal drama she imagined playing out was certainly interesting. “You can totally convince people that you’re a leo, so that’s like, basically flawless.” The tiara was cute as hell too, and she was sure it’d work. “So do you just like, carry that around with you all the time in case you need free stuff or what?”

aspen: I mean.. we aren't allll alone, our boyfriends are just.. busy?

aspen: oh my god can we please fall down a barbie YT spiral later?

aspen: i mean.. second to me. I am silver lakes sweetheart after all 😉

emilia: yeah that's what i meant 🙄🙄

emilia: we obviously can but also fair warning i've seen pretty much all of it and i know many of her videos by heart so that's gonna be annoying

“Wow, you’re even more stubborn than my little niece!”, Logan stated, shaking his head with a grin as he thought about the little girl. “I mean, it’s your future though! And if you’re not able to pay your rent anymore because of this, you already know an amazing lawyer…”, he joked. “Well, if I were to find the time to actually watch any of those videos, of course it would be yours!”, the male stated with a grin even though they probably both knew that it just wasn’t really something he was particularly interested in. “Hey, if I was one of those idiots, I’d be working with any of those hella rich business guys instead of doing immigration law!”, he couldn’t help but defend himself, knowing that she was just trying to tease him a little though.

“It’s my Aries moon,” she said, matter-of-fact as if that was the only logical explanation he could have expected. “And it’s fine, I’m just gonna need my YouTube career to like, fully take off.” That part of her defense was less genuine, though she did hope she’d be able to make a living off of that until she’d at least figured out what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. “But yeah, hope you know that if I ever get a sketchy contract or need to film an apology video, I’m gonna come straight to you for legal advice.” Somehow that sounded like more of a threat than a promise, at least like he’d easily come to regret it, but she’d be damned if she didn’t hold Logan to his word. What else were lawyers good for? Emilia narrowed her eyes at him as he argued back, “Alright fine, guess that’s true. Maybe you’re an idiot for not getting rich.”

aspen: I'm better than a fairy godmother.

aspen:i'll be there soon

aspen: i'm around all night so i'll watch whatver. Tyler's working.

aspen: omg barbie has a YT why didn't you tell me?!

emilia: ofc u are & GOOD 🥰🥰

emilia: can't believe we're all on our own w no bfs

emilia: love that for us

emilia: uhhh yeah she does. she has like makeup tutorials and shit, it's a gd service to the world