the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

huge fan of when cats reach out and touch each other with disrespectful intent

I can’t sleep, I have to torture myself psychologically

hey no worries lol that just hurt my feelings forever

you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life

things used to be $5

Wait…. 😳 there’s a way out?

Fuuuuuuck me. It’s through? And that’s the only way? Fuuuuuuuck dude

Maybe if I just work harder, this empty cup will pour again

Maybe the cup needs a bit of time to rest and refill?

Maybe the cup needs to lock the fuck in???

[DAZED FROM BLOOD LOSS] hey not to kill the vibe completely but i think i am in love with you

i could be your pet rock. id be very good at it

ive had some time to think and honestly i dont think id be a very good pet rock. i dont know what i was thinking. theres too much anger in me

translator's note: in america, "seek shelter immediately" means "go outside and stand on the porch"

[no beers in] do you think im ever going to belong somewhere

Skeletor has forever destroyed our ability to come up with voices for skeleton characters.

this is like saying NASA has forever destroyed our ability to wonder what it's like on the moon. like we can still use our powers of imagination if we want to but the question's pretty much fucking settled.