Goodbye, and Thank You
Iād like to make this my final post to this blog. It started out in Birdyās own perspective, and in my eyes was always his, I just ran it (though kindāve took over in my own way). Quite likely Iāll still be lurking in the corners, I still like to see what the people I follow and their birds are up to, everything here will remain, I may even comment occasionally, but this blog will remain quiet.
Today I received his casket with his ashes. I held him, had a good cuddle, told him everything thatās been going on since heās been gone, and really had to try to stop myself getting any tears on him. But it feels good to talk to him, and having him here feels like I can go on.
On our end weāve been holding up... okay. Dealing with grief has been all over the place, at times I feel like Iām doing it wrong by not being upset enough, and then when it does seep through I hurt so much that my brain just... resets.
Taterās been relatively okay. Sheās quieter than usual (though still screaming because... itās her). Sheās been both demanding more attention than usual and also hiding away not wanting to be bothered. I have to take her with me if I leave the room or sheāll get upset.
As for what weāre doing next... well, thatās already in motion. Honestly, faster than Iād expected, and maybe a week or so faster than Iād have liked, but weāve already found a cockatiel to adopt. My husbandās out right now going to pick him up. Heās a little over a year old, not tame but of course... I have experience with the best when it comes to uncooperative little shits. Raised in an aviary, seems heās just not wanted anymore. Going to be a little rough I think adjusting them to cage life after an aviary, but with us cages are more of a sleeping thing anyway. Itās still going to be a while before they can really free fly around the house though. I do feel a bit guilty about that, but weāve got a whole lot of love to give, and a cockatiel friend waiting on this end (they lived with budgies). Got a brand new cage, some old toys around and weāll get whatever new we need to.
Itās... an end of an era for me. Heās been with me for over a third of my life, almost all of my adult life, and itās thanks to him that I have... EVERYTHING that I have now. Without him, Iād never have gotten over my agoraphobia. Iād never have been able to take the steps to make a long distance relationship work into which is now marriage. Iād never have fixed my relationship with my mother. I struggled with a lot of things before I got him, and although my general health is lower than ever, my mental health is so markedly different that everyone can see it. He saved me.
Goodbye, you ridiculous pasta-obsessed nut. Youāve been my best friend for almost 12 years. I love you, and thank you for everything youāve ever done for me.










