noah mendez

I wanted to be hardened to be wrapped and cocooned and not come home until ugly was just a feeling a name I’d once heard and not a fact on my face I wanted to be reborn as a god as golden dipped in the water and made protected except for my mouth of course you can’t dip something that won’t stop moving go ahead bruise my lips it’s fun to have a weakness that way there’s always something to be scared of I wanted to be cold as medical steel like a lock without key the crocodile in your moat the bone in your bloody meat you can’t break down walls if you can’t see them and you can’t storm the castle if you don’t have a bridge to burn I wanted to be the dragon and the knight but never the princess I wanted to go down fighting bloody knuckles and full of heartaches I’d kill something just to get away with it and for once the something wouldn’t be me I wanted to be real but all I became was human

I can only talk about myself for so long before you start to hate me

the worst part is never knowing where you'll be next

do you still think of us without the missing part? there was something pure about me with you I want that boy much more than the boy I fell for Remember when the bath water was never pink and my skin never had to open under hot water I grew past your garden and fell in love with the sun never realizing how far the fall actually was

I bet the things she called you sounded like honey on her lips. And I bet every single one of them has been stuck in your throat ever since: thick and slow and unforgivable