You can show me a single song per day but I'm still going to have to learn the lyrics. I'm no Einstein, Em, these things take time. I appreciate your unrelenting faith in me, though, there's nobody who's got my back more than you – well, and maybe Steve Carell, but Steve is my Taylor in this game of "in another universe" relationships. I'm not going to complain about getting to hold one of my daughters, the one that still lets me, that is. You have absolutely mimicked my accent on many occasions, you mimic everyone's accent, Emily. It's kind of your schtick and you get away with it because you do it so well. I think they might be past the age that accents are set in stone but you keep doing you, sweetheart, I believe in you. Oh yeah? Lover is a favorite, huh? Have we danced to that one before? Just know there's no one else in that whole stadium I'd rather be swaying with than you. Is it free? Taylor Swift's multi-billion dollar empire might beg to differ. I know those cardigans you girls wear weren't free.

Yeah, but you're the brightest mind I've ever met. You can learn a song per day if I really force it onto you. I'm talking morning until night, I'll even scare you with it in the shower the way I know you love so much. Steve is your Taylor, does he know this? If not, can I be the one to break that news to him when he comes over for dinner next? I think he'd be thrilled, and it would be more realistic than me with Taylor. Even when your arms get tired? It's quite a long concert, my love. If you're lucky, you'll be carrying Hazel out too, I doubt she has the staying power to be awake past 10, despite her insistence. It's because your accent specifically is so funny. Mine is so regal and expensive sounding, yours is very 'pahk your cahr' and Philly cheesesteaks and the like. I guess I'm reluctantly okay with them sounding American if they sound more New York than Boston. We have, it's one of the cute, sappy slow songs that I like to put on. It's...close to free. I get a lot of the swag gifted to me, and the rest is a price that I'm ashamed to share with you.

How many songs am I expected to know beforehand? That's the real question, I need to know if that's something that's feasible or if I'm going to let the whole team down before it's even started. Don't want to be the guy that's standing like a statue next to his wife and kids while they know every single word of every single song. That guy's a dick. Oh, okay, so when the love of my life leaves me for the biggest musician since The Beatles, we'll blame our young child for it? Got it. Oh, boy, this argument again. Forgive me for being true to what I was raised with. Should I remind you about our daughters' teeny tiny, American accents? Now who's poking fun at who? See, I made your job too easy. I should have googled something obscure and run with that instead. I'll be there, you know I'll follow you three wherever you go. I'm a little concerned about you singing cry-worthy songs with our daughters, I'm the one who's going to be footing the bill for therapy ten years from now... or, wait, is "TTPD" the therapy?

You want to know how many to not get made fun of? That's probably most of the setlist, baby. But you have two months to figure it out, I can show you a single song-per-day and you'll be there in no time! That guy is a dick, and you're not a dick, so we'll coach you through joining our ranks. Worse comes to worst, you get stuck holding Violet when she inevitably falls asleep after 9:30 pm while Hazel and I party it up. Yeah, it'll be all her fault and not mine completely. You don't see me going to Boston and mimicking your accent. And if you do, it isn't me doing it to your face. Don't remind me of how American they sound. It breaks my heart. I'm hoping I can keep them in London long enough to break that habit of theirs. You and I can sway together to Lover for all of your trouble, I think that one might be on our lists of our songs. It absolutely is the therapy. And it's free! You can cry to it whenever you want! Who could ask for anything better?

Feels a little like I'm being ganged up on by Swifties, but it is pretty cute to look at every morning, so I'll allow it. Mmm, I just beat you two to it. Are you going to try and get a friendship bracelet to her with your phone number and shoot your shot, this time? In a round about way, that worked for her boyfriend, right? I'm getting made fun of, now? Maybe I just won't go, then. I'll go... watch soccer, or something, instead. Well, now I'm embarrassed to even admit to which one of the dozens of songs I've managed to memorize. I'm guessing it doesn't help to say that it was Violet's favorite for a hot minute? That we danced to it a lot? Aka nothing from the new one.

That's why you need to become one of us. It would save you a lot of grief. I'm subliminally having Hazel make ones with my phone number on them, I'm like handing her specific numbers in a specific order - it absolves me from having done it myself, you know? No guilty parties here. You'll get made fun of either way, if you show up and call it soccer and not football, you'll be the laughingstock of all of England. Not like you aren't already, with all the baseball caps you wear around there, but I think you'd rather have me poking fun at you than a stranger anyway. Don't be embarrassed, just let it happen, darling. Oh, big hints then, I know which one. And lucky for you, Taylor does perform that one. Violet's gonna want to shake it off with you all night, so you have to join us. Definitely nothing from the new one, TTPD is more about crying than it is about dancing. You've yet to walk in on me dramatically performing 'Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?' with the girls, so...

I noticed the counting down, it's on our fridge every day of the week and I was beginning to think it was on Hazel's part but now I'm looking to blame you instead. I'm a little worried, if I wasn't so secure in myself I'd swear you were going to leave me for Ms Swift herself. Ah, good question. How many songs do I need to know to classify as a Swiftie? Is it one? Because I have one down pat. I bet you can figure out which. Also, hi.

It was a team effort. I change the number every day, but it was Hazel's idea and original handwriting on the countdown. You're lucky you locked me in when you did and that she probably has no idea that I'd do anything for her. Otherwise you'd be in trouble. The answer is definitely more than one. Maybe if you go in knowing two, you won't get made fun of. Which song is it that you have mastered? We've thrown so many at you over the past few months that it's hard to narrow it down. Give me a hint. Also, hi honey.