recovery + minors dni @emaciatedpigeon - Tumblr Blog

it's lee </3 was previously toxic-ex-g1rlblogger

20 yro bpd ana sh

posts about rants, vents, my bf, retail job, anything on my mind. occasional bcs but never sh pics

stats below

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality

Anya is LIVE right now

FREE

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

he's going to leave me eventually. he will learn he jates it here with me kist as much if not more than he hates his house and his people. I am always worse. I am evil. I will poison him like everyone else. feeding them my tincture. get attached. hate me. hate yourself fof hating me. make peace with hating me. leave. leave. leavem they always leave and I always nmakee them. he will leavem in due time.

bpd. evil emotions. People are annoying. but they exist. do i choose my comfort or theirs? always theirs. raised with a "you dont know whats going on in their life" household. so its always them. well if I speak up. they are not happy. but i am. but i am more sensitive. therefore nt emotions mist not matteras much. bc they can deal with me. why can't I deal with them? so im shoved around into boxes I've placed myself in. then I get angry at myself for throwing away rhe key. I am always uncomfortable. but at least they can be happy. I am nothing. I am meaningless. I do not matter. I am a fleeting person. so its okay if you hurt me. its okay if you hate me. its okay if you dont want to be around me. I know its me that's caused it. bevause I am always ruining i am evil I am a terrible person I am a lab rat gone wrong I am in the way. I should not be here. my mother had endometriosis. she wS infertile. they took a bunch of drugs I am here. I am FUCKIMG HERE. nevause they were junkies. now I am evil. and i should have died. born a month early. and I am still here. hospital every winter until i was 5 because mt lungs were underdeveloped. and now I am evil.a ND no im a pain. im bad. im mean. she hates me he hates me everyone hates me i want to go away now. i want to go away now. but boyfriend got a job here. he loves here. so i can't die now. and im prisoned

d3a-th0-f-m

can you believe ppl do things in their day and DON'T come write it down in Tumblr. LMAO what is wrong with us actually. like do you ever think. im literally just talking to myself. just to talk to myself. what is the reason. bc i feel so badly a need to??? to what??? I dont know. id explode if I couldn't write it down. I think im almost.. lonely? but I could tell jadyn all of this.. that's not really the point for someone else to read it? but it almost is but not like that. ill let you know if I figure it out obviously

emaciatedpigeon

I have no one to speak to without judgements to here I come drunk crying talking to myself. Im here to be recognized. nand not even get a single like on any of my posts that matter to me. so why do i show up. i need to. because i have no one else but you guys

small-smaller-smallest

Has anyone ever lost 20lbs in a month and a half? I need to hear it’s possible bc I am going to rip the fat off with my bare hands if I have to get on stage like this

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality

Anya is LIVE right now

FREE

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

came home in a bad mood. andrew was drumming. went upstairs. turned on ac. simulating quietness. we were supposed to watch another episode or two of lost. I sat in the kitchen angry over nothing. I drank. im sad. im honest. he went to sleep an hour ago. didn't say a thing. walked upstairs. no lights. lying in bed. he hates me. he doesnt want me. he wants to leave me. I ruin everything. my emotions are so sensitive. I can't say anything or I am evil. so i am uncomfortable and discomtent and hiding and bottling all day. but when I come home I am still tjay way. bevayde I know people exist and just because I am sensitive doesn't mean its ny right to tell people how to be. so i am still horrible. but i hide it. which only makes it come out more. and now I am alone. sitting on the sticky cat hair crumb kitchen floor. with no boyfriend to hold me. and my grandmother went to bed. and I am no one. I am crushed eggshells I am crumpled paper I am a broken pen. I am a nothing useless stupid idiot evil person. with nothing good or helpful to offer. I put on a kind mature patient face at work. and wheni come home I want to be me. but me is evil. she is irritated and mean and lashes out. so she curls inwards and stays silent and isolates. but she wants comfort. but is not allowed. i am trying to kill her and be strong. but she is me and I am her. if only I were a man thus would come naturally tonme.. but i am stupid and evil

and i ruin and hurt and evil and hurt and ruin and I ruin and hurt and im evil and hurt and i

hmm im hurting and im ruining and imnevil for itm and im disgusting. they all hate me. I am unloveable

he's leaving me. im sure

eymurn

Even platonically, I love intensely.

im just distung. my feelings mean nothing i am always have been always will be a stupid fucking girl. im not strong im not decisive im not anything a man could be. im a faker. a pretender. a nothing moron stupid little idiot ruiner evil fuckimg woman. nothing important. nothing worth while. a waste.

legitimately

I love seeing everyone’s little lifes on here. Please never stop sharing them

cherryflavoredgirlll

if you wanna get to know me then analyze my tumblr idk

emaciatedpigeon

sometimes I wanna let andrew read everything i write here. but i can't let him in. i can't bring myself to tell him anything uncensored. im getting tired of it. but its only me that can change that. i wont.

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality

Anya is LIVE right now

FREE

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

evil cis rant no one wants to hear

seriously im so tired if being imprisoned in my body. but im a girl!! I like being a girl and girlhood and giggling and lipstick and heels and short shorts and crying together and being crazy. but I just wanna be a boy so bad. my family wouldn't disown me but they would be weird. my dad would hate me. he already has a son. he doesn't want some evil woke tranny ruining the bloodline (seriously. this isn't a funny joke. he can stand be being bi but he would never accept me as a man). my boyfriend said once "id still love you" you wouldn't if I had no tits and smelt and acted and looked like a man though. you just want a boyish girl. and I want to be a BOY. i just want to be happy with myself while simultaneously being accepted by society which will never happen. the trans community would never take me. the lgbtq community would take me. im supposedly bisexual yet both women i dated i hated. and I like men more. so whats the point in even saying im bisexual anymore. ill probably end up dropping the label again. i hang onto it as some grasp at an identity but even that is false hope. i love women. i would marry one. ive had sex with one. she wasn't my type so it wasn't enjoyable. but does that make me less? yes. it does. because if youre bi you need to have proof. and i have none but silly crushes. im an evil pretender who just wants to be different its all ive ever been its all ill ever be. im a liar and a cheat. im dusgusting. ill never be happy and it was created for me to be that way. I will always be a woman. i wish this wasn't the truth. I wish I was happy. this years pride month is really making me feel alienated yet its my own fault. if I wanted to transition so bad i would've done it by now dont you think? dont you all think im jist lying aboit my feelings? theres no proof. in 7th grade I sewed myself a binder out of a tank top. it worked well. I threw my long hair in a beanie and took selfies in my room. I relish in looking masculine. but that was silly middle school puberty feelings. wasn't it? if I were trans wouldn't i be on t by now? wouldn't i have a binder? wouldn't i have gotten rid of my girlish lifestyle? you'd tjink. but I haven't. so I guess i must be lying. there's no proof of my feelings and that's what hurts the most. im faking. I don't want to fake it but I know i am. I jist want to be different- I always have been. so ill never change. ill be me. aand ill be a woman. and ill deal with it until I kill myself.

can i be a boy but look like a girl sometimes but everyone magically calls me dude and bro but also girl still and says hey man whats up or how you doing today brother but also im in a dress but no boobs. and heels. but like im a man. like a big man and im thin and I have short dyed queer hair and i have armpit hair but I shave my legs and its all just acceptable and no one will ever ask me any questions. is this list of impossible things too hard to ask for!?!??!?! no but seriously. can pride month be over

Just got home and bf is POUNDING on a bongo drum. im gonna kill myself so bad rn to prove a point. I cant tell him to stop tho knowing him he'd get all butthurt and not sit near me all night so whatever I guess be loud and annoying as fuck whatever babe

zedogica

having a body made of meat sucks ass

engygeron-deactivated20260524

we're not made of meat! and we'll always be with you

zedogica

kill dorothy fuck the lion marry the tin man and i dont care about the other one

tailspintwin

Blasting through my calorie limit like it don't mean a thing

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality

Anya is LIVE right now

FREE

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

knighthearts

happy pride month for it/its users, polyamorous people, xenogenders, non-transitioning trans people, and other "weird" identities. btw

razzmothazz

still caring about internet friends you lost touch with years ago is so embarrassing. yeah i had a deam we met up irl recently. the last time we spoke was maybe 7-8 years ago. i still wear the laces we randomly decided was a sign of our friendship. i dont know what any of your socials are or if youre even active on any. sometimes i see someones art resemble yours and i wonder for hours. do you still go by that name you chose? whenever i see it i wonder if its you. we couldve passed each other in this vastness a thousand times and not have a clue.

emaciatedpigeon

I miss you so much wenz

Trending Blogs

Last Seen Blogs

recovery + minors dni