Oooo from the prompt thingy, asheiji-angst-#12? 👀
12. "Holding everything in doesn't help, you know."
This Japanese thinks that he's smart. He thinks that if he smiles a lot, he'll convince Ash that he's fine. He thinks that Ash doesn't see him go into the bathroom and come out with puffy eyes. He thinks that Ash doesn't see the dread painted all over the inkette's face when he has to leave the condo. Idiot!
Ash plays along with the charade. He's hoping Eiji will talk to me, mostly because he doesn't know how to initiate that kind of conversation.
But that night, he hears muffled cries from the other bed. He gets up and heads there.
"Eiji?" He sits on the edge of the bed.
Eiji stops breathing for a second. "Yes, Ash?"
The Japanese man then tries to wipe off his tears but Ash places his hand on top of forearm in a plea to stop.
"N-nothing?" His voice trembles a bit.
Ash sighs. "Holding everything in doesn't help, you know."
Eiji's lip wobbles as he bites it. Tears openly flow down his eyes. He's struggling to form coherent sentences in English. "He... He died in my hands, Ash." He chokes on a sob.
Ash wraps an arm around Eiji's shoulders like Shorter used to hug him when he hated his life to the extent of not wanting to live anymore. He holds Eiji tightly, like a promise that he won't let anything happen to the inkette as long as he's alive.
Ash gulps down the his own sorrow trying out break free from the confines of his ribs. His heart is aching. He just wants to see Shorter again.
"Why did you save me?! You should have saved Shorter! I can not even help you with anything?!" Eiji is shuddering in his arms.
"He would've hated me if I had saved you." Ash answers softly. "And he would've faced a deathless death. That drug would've fucked him up completely; he wouldn't be Shorter after that."
Eiji burries his head in Ash's chest, as if hiding himself there. "This should not have happened!"
Eiji cries and cries and tells Ash about their friendship and how Shorter was always there for him and he failed to reciprocate that sentiment. Ash doesn't say anything; he just listens. Tears flow down from the Japanese man's eyes till the exhaustion overwhelms the sorrow of losing a friend.
And only after he's certain that Eiji has slept, he mourns the loss of his friend. He occupies a corner in the large condo - he doesn't know which room - and holds his knees close to his chest.
The large dark room - not even once - fails to remind him that now he's all alone.
discoholicmusic
ellievsbear
kianamaiart
andulkaphoto
