Returning to work after a somewhat extended vacation has been a sharp reminder of how horrible this place is, and how much I don't like it.
Today's Document

Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
YOU ARE THE REASON


ellievsbear
The Bowery Presents
noise dept.

Game Changer & Make Some Noise
almost home

PR's Tumblrdome
Cosmic Funnies
ojovivo
RMH

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
untitled
NASA

Origami Around
todays bird
official daine visual archive
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@elusivegreen
Returning to work after a somewhat extended vacation has been a sharp reminder of how horrible this place is, and how much I don't like it.

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Been doing some sketches of WoL's from adventure plates I've been saving. If I've ever given you a coffee or a cookie I probably saved your plate. Some are funny, some are nice, some are people from duties I've liked, a lot of them are just cute girls. Either way, figured it'd be good practice for poses, expressions and clothing.
Love that block button. Generative slop? Block. Bad opinions? Block. Buncha political stuff? Block. Trying to sell me something? Block. Those little random follows out of the blue with no other interaction, feels like self promoting. Honestly hurts my feelings. Been on the hellsite like 13 years and nothing I have appeals to your distinguished tastes? Couldn't find a single thing to like, and then follow me to get more of it? Just fishing to get me to go look at your page? Get blocked.
I'll keep doing it. I'm here to look at art, laugh, and try to not hate myself. I can curate my experience any way I like.
"Noooo that's my drink, not an ice pack..."
"Wahahaha, now that hits the spot!"
Was working on the box again, this time trying to make a frame for the lid. Those several hours of work turned out to only be, layout. Do what I can with my saw but there's gonna be a lot of chisel work.

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There's now a floating bottom in the dovetail box. And the top has a lip for a lid.
Unfortunately, the board I got was not large enough to have the lid match. I do have the other half from when I split the bottom lengthwise, so I was thinking of making a little frame to use that with the lid. Work a little contrast into the design.
Thinking of the guy at work who wants to use generative slop to make art, then generative code to turn the art into a game. All so he can get rich and stop working. Then I think of all the money I've spent on tools, wood, leather, metal, stones, classes, and everything over the years. I think of all the art I've made, and just given away. And I laugh.
I love what I do. I'll still make art, and still be happy. Doing it for fun. Always have, always will.
I just think people should like things less. Like. You don't have to be the biggest fan of someone. Or have full encyclopedic knowledge of a thing. You can, if that's what you want. But you can also just, think something is kinda cool. Be, casually into it. There's no, fake fans, there's no gatekeeping, just, be into whatever, however much you like. Nothing to prove.
I've never been one to withhold information on anything. Especially at work, I'll show prints and notes I have, leave them out so they're accessible. Anything to potentially get people to not bother me and ask me fewer questions.
Imagine my frustration when the guy I'm babysitting lately has more questions. More and more questions. To the point of like, "What are those for?" We're not doing anything with those, those have nothing to do with us, don't worry about those, do the thing I asked you to do.
No gray area on generated slop. If someone didn't care enough to make it. I don't want to see it. If they couldn't take time to make something. I don't want to spend any of my time looking at it. I will welcome anyone who makes an honest effort, no matter their skill level. But anyone that makes excuses and wants to push a button to have it happen for them can fucking choke.
My art has always been too slow for social media. Work full time, sometimes a little extra. Still gotta run errands, cook meals, clean my place, be a grown ass man. On top of that I have to find the energy, motivation, and keep the brain worms quiet long enough to get anything done. I work for hours spread over months. Inked drawings can take me weeks. When I had to move and downsize I gave up a lot of my bigger tools which slowed me down more.
The thing is, I like, actually making art. I, like, the process. I will sit there, and stare at the wall, and sharpen my knives, and bend over something for hours. I'll tear up my hands, and be covered in sawdust, and have some hours where I focus on something and try to make an object greater than the sum of its parts. I don't want to clap my hands and have the thing. Then clap my hands like a fucking toddler and have another. I may be doing it because I want the finished project, but the project means something to me because of the journey I had on the way. I learned something. My skills improved with practice. I got to make decisions, and the final product is something distinctly me.
Gonna say it again and keep saying it. I'm tired of corporations trying to convince me that I don't want to have fun, I just want to consume. Treating me like I don't want to think or enjoy things. Fuck all of it.
When these things made weird, trippy dreamscapes it was novel and interesting because nothing like that had been done before, felt like it was being used as a new tool. Now it's just widespread theft an environmental disaster, and an overconsumption of power resources. Utility bills keep going up, municipal keeps telling people to, raise their thermostats, be less comfortable, all so someone can get out of paying an artist.
I actually like doing what I do. I do it because it's fun for me. It's not easy. It's been a long journey, but it's been one I've wanted to make. One that so many artists before me have made. One that many will make after me because it's just a human thing to make art.

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How the high fashion, high vis is coming along. I actually don't think I'm done yet, wanna tack on some hardware like snaps to hold open the lapel and maybe a detachable hood. Of course it isn't perfect, but I'm not a tailor and this isn't my wheelhouse, just wanted to see the idea.
It's interesting to me how at work, I encounter people who request more authority, feel like their authority is being challenged, or take it upon themselves to be teachers/role models even if they are not the best example. Meanwhile I've spent my entire time over here going, yep, I'm just a worker. Wanna show up, do my work, and go home. Don't wanna be a lead, don't want people asking me questions, yet I somehow keep accumulating more responsibility. I'm being thwarted and I don't like it.
Been working on something else lately. Just chasing the spark. This one's just been getting a lot of attention because it took over my livingroom.
Been a long time fan of small business Volante Design, and unfortunately they announced they are closing down. Didn't always have the money to indulge in their products, and missed a few of their things over the years. One of the several vests they offered, made me think of like, a cyberpunk courier service, so I played with my own concept of a sci fi High Vis vest.
Probably wouldn't actually do for standards on reflectors and whatnot, but gave it kinda the lines and big pockets. Made it a little more boxy unifit than the sleek contours the others were known for. Definitely reminding myself I'm not a tailor with this one, but I'm sure I'll like it well enough for what it is.
The herd, detecting a predator, takes a defensive posture around the trailer housing their young.
a few corrections to my art from 3 years ago! my fairy OC

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Sometimes I think about how I don't much care for alcohol. And then I consider how the entire art of mixology exists to mask the flavors because other people don't like it either.
There's definitely a lot of people who are way better at this than I am, but I'm trying my hand at a dovetail box. It's not the most uniform thing, and some of my joints have larger gaps than others, but it does fit together tightly.