Elser's Back

It's exactly what it sounds like- awful!

It's a crop, with metal studs on, and when those studs make contact with the skin it delivers an electric shock.

It shocks both if you use it with force, or just use it to gently touch the skin.

My ass barely every bruises any more, so when it does, it's very exciting for both of us. 

This is from a few years ago. My Owner and I went to a play party, one of the ones where the room was dark and crowded and the music was loud, pulsing with bass and almost hypnotic. After making our rounds through the room, we found a spanking bench that was open. He bent me over it, tied my wrists down, and beat the hell out of my ass. I think he used every toy that was in the bag we packed. 

I'm not, fundamentally, a true masochist — I wish I was, and there have been points where we've focused more on impact play and I've gotten closer to masochism with lots of regular upkeep, but in the day-to-day I can't typically push as far as either of us would like. But in that environment — the loud music, the dark room, wanting to make him proud as people gathered around to watch, my competitive streak coming out strong — everything clicked into place. 

Last summer, I read a blog post where someone was talking about how she liked to go braless and how much she liked it when men would stare at her nipples.

It sent me into a bit of a tailspin. I'm honestly a pretty modest dresser, and reading that post triggered an awareness of how much of that is based in this belief that — despite the onslaught of positive feedback I get on various websites about my naked form — dressing sluttier or in a more revealing way would be... unwelcome? unwanted? I'm not sure exactly the right word, but it really made me think about why I immediately recoiled at the thought of my nipples being so visible and on display that someone could stare at them, let alone whether they'd want to.

I've spent months slowly turning that thought around in my head, and during that time, my nipples have only gotten more prominent. All his training has made them permanently hard and near impossible to hide without layers of clothes. So sexualized. Calling out to be seen. And, quietly, I've started to want them to be seen. I want people to see what his training has turned me into. I want it to be visible what a pathetic shameless needy thing I am. I want to show off his property for anyone who wants to enjoy looking at it.

it would be so awesome

Hypnosis: Would you find me attractive even if I needed a lot of help and direction?

Somnophilia: Would you find me attractive even if I couldn't reciprocate?

Dollification: Would you find me attractive even if I needed someone else to help maintain me?

Kittyplaying: Would you find me attractive even if I wasn't perfectly obedient all the time and expressed negative emotion through sass and brattiness?