Monthly contests and all kinds of Elsanna!

Hans tips the flamingo at her, “Exactly!” 

“Let’s get this straight, Mr. Esteemed-Scholar - it’s totally fine if I get arrested and you don’t?” 

“C’mon,” Hans reclines in her bed, “hot chick buying drugs. No record. You’re getting a slap on the wrist at most.” 

Anna rolls her eyes, “You’re an asshole, you know that?” 

“And yet you love me-” 

“I don’t-” 

“Enough to smoke my weed, that is.” 

Anna freezes mid-rip. Her eyes roll back and she coughs violently. 

“Fine,” Anna sets the bong against a shelf full of mid-19th century English classics, “what, um, drugs do I need to buy? Or - how does one go about procuring said illegal substances?” 

Hans raises an eyebrow, “Haven’t you bought drugs before?” 

The thought jogs Anna’s memory through old Breaking Bad episodes at home on TV.Suitcases stuffed with cash. Duct-taped parcels of white powder. Cops. Guns. Her throat dries. She slouches into her chair. Vaguely recalls the last time she sat on the family couch with Elsa’s warm presence beside her. Giggling at Hank’s jokes. A simmering wave of hurt wells beneath her eyelids, but she clamps down the memory with numb indifference. Fucking weed’s messing with my head. 

“No.” 

“Get on the dark web,” Hans shoulders his backpack, “find a dealer off Silk Road. You’re a smart cookie-” 

“Fuck you.” 

“Sure thing, sweetie,” Hans pats her head again, like a puppy, “don’t let us down, champ. Party’s counting on you.” 

Anna scowls at the door slamming shut. She heaves a window open to let the smoke out; noon sun and fresh air lending some much-needed clarity. Dark Web. Silk Road. Exactly like Hans to know shady shit like this. What a chump. She boots her Macbook and downloads Tor Browser through the horrendously slow college wifi. Eyes widen in rabid curiosity at exactly what Silk Road entails. 

Drugs. 

Lots of drugs. Filling her entire screen. Anna looks over her shoulder, fearful of campus security waiting to bust down her door. Indexes of suppliers and pictures of powders and crystals. She fumbles around and filters out heroin, crystal meth, cocaine. Until only MDMA remains. Location: Tallahassee. 

One supplier shows up: Adderall-Molly-Oxy-Xanax-Valium - 323 area. College students welcome.

Her hands freeze on the chat window. Hasn’t Chris Hansen caught people like this? She ponders a DEA agent on the other end. Why don’t you take a seat over there? Getting hauled before a district judge. Breaking down in tears while she’s locked away in prison. Anna’s pigtails swish around and she shakes off the fear - just get it over with. A test looms next week. Maybe buy some Adderall while you’re at it. 

Anna swallows the last of her fears and messages IceQueento set up a score. 

***

It’s only ten minutes from Campus. Anna still manages to get lost in the winding dark suburban streets. Cursing herself for nearly driving into Lake Ellis Park instead of Lafayette Park. Despite her best intentions, she’s late. Only one other non-descript black Ford sits in the parking lot. Weird, she thinks. Looking at the car again and trying to place where she’s seen it before. Anna shrugs and dons a face mask. Pulling on a hoodie despite the sweltering humidity and wandering into the park. Streetlights spear the night air. A single, yellow beam broken by a shadow. Streams of cigarette smoke waft from the figure standing stock-still. Her skin crawls at how abnormal this feels. 

Ice creeps up her spine. She looks in the pitch-dark bushes, expecting police to swarm her any moment. Each step towards the shadowy figure feels like jogging a mile. The hundred-dollar bills in her hand are damp with sweat and she’s ready to vomit her thumping heart when the dealer notices her. He scarcely turns. The darkness beneath his black hoodie feels like staring into a void.  All the hairs on her arms stand on end. 

“So, um, drugs?” Anna whispers. Before mentally slapping her forehead. Idiot. Why else would someone stand alone in a park at 1 a.m.? 

Anna’s gaze drags the pavement. Afraid of looking into his eyes. Or the handcuffs inevitably going to lock around her wrists. But the deal happens faster than a drawn breath. A swipe of a palm. Twelve-hundred of Hans’s sponsored dollars gone. Two bottles of pills rattle into her slick hand. Great, phew, that was - easy. Cold metal grazes her skin when his hand draws away. She catches a flash of blue beneath the streetlight and immediately recognises a cerulean-blue Topaz ring on the dealer’s thumb. 

Wait. 

“Elsa?” 

Her voice stabs through the void, expecting to find light. The figure freezes and turns. Glaring, piercing blue eyes behind a facemask. Anna’s breath stops. She’d never forget those eyes in four years. She sure as hell wouldn’t forget how they made her feel. Her nerves splinter. She spews the first thing that comes to mind. A continuation of an unfinished sentence from an eternity ago. 

“What the hell are you doing?” 

“Shh!” Elsa hisses, looking around, “You got your score. Now. Get. Lost.” 

Knees buckle. She barely hears the departing footsteps over the stampede in her ears. 

“Wait, wait, you can’t just go,” Anna cries, stumbling over her Converse sneakers. Flailing fingers catch hold of Elsa’s hoodie and she spins around. Livid rage flares in her eyes. A sudden shove robs Anna’s breath and she slams into the ground. Stars cross her eyes and fade into a gun’s cold barrel pointed at her forehead. 

At least she got the gun part right. 

“Don’t push your luck, missy.” 

Perspiration leaks down her face and she gulps at Elsa’s finger hovering over the trigger. Safety’s still on. She looks up at the glint of streetlights within the Topaz mounted on her thumb. Iridescent blue rays refract like the thousands of memories and unspoken thoughts she’s harboured towards her sister. Right before the hoodied figure turns and clomps into the darkness. The long-dormant sight of Elsa’s turned back shattering each one of those memories into a million jagged little pieces. 

***

Tallahassee, Summer ‘18

Elsa marches through the door. Sweat pours off her brows. Track practice’s killed her. She needs an ice-cold soda. A nap. Some TV and ice cream. Preferably in that order. But one look at Agnarr scurrying about the living room chattering on the phone tells her she’s not getting any of those things. 

A suitcase stands already packed by the doorway. 

“Seriously?” Elsa thrusts out her hands, “Again?” 

“Gotta be in Boston two hours ago,” Agnarr mumbles, before shooting her a glare, “oh yea, I promised Anna’s school I’d pick her up after detention. She fought with some kid again.” 

“Wait, what?” Elsa clutches her forehead as her mind frays, “How are you going to-” 

Car keys sail toward her face and she barely manages to snatch them mid-air. Agnarr brushes past, suitcase in tow. 

“Look alive, kid! Bring her straight home, no mucking about,” he points at her, dress shoes clicking down their manicured driveway. A cab’s already pulled up and ready to go. 

“You can’t expect me to cover your parental duties all the time y’know-” 

Agnarr stops in his tracks. For a moment, Elsa allows herself to hope. Hope that she wouldn’t have to handle Anna’s problems. See her face or feel the ache that comes from dealing with that red-headed girl. But he turns and laughs in her face. 

“As a matter of fact, I can,” he points at the Range Rover, “I paid for your driver’s education.” 

“Dad, stop.” 

The taxi door’s already open. Driver yelling at him to hurry the fuck up. He perches a foot inside and muses, “I’ll make it up to you.” 

“Right,” Elsa folds her arms, “because I’m the responsible one, yea?” 

“The eldest,” he sneers through the window, “hence, the most responsible by default. Come through for me, kid!” 

Squealing tires and a cloud of smoke drag a father from her life again. Elsa stands there in a daze. Wondering if Agnarr would tell the driver about his two daughters and how he’s stranding them for the dozenth time. She looks over at the neighbour’s overgrown lawn. Mr Macpherson back from a hospital night shift and shooting hoops with his son. Elsa sighs. But forces a half-hearted wave when he catches her staring for too long and wondering about a feeling she’s never felt before. 

She wanders back inside and shivers at their home’s vacant emptiness. Bone-cold despite the burning sun outside. The housekeeper would’ve left enough boxes of pasta in the freezer for a week. Her room’s probably packed so neatly she couldn’t find anything if she tried. Just as Elsa contemplates going back to school and studying in the library, she crosses over to Iduna’s picture on the mantel and lights a candle. Faltering eyes fixed upon her mother’s monochrome photograph; teary ache blossoming at a woman she’s never known. 

“Stop, just - stop,” Elsa seethes at herself. She wills herself to the bathroom and washes her face with ice-cold water. It doesn’t undo the knot of unspoken longing in her chest. But it does help keep her head down as she passes Anna’s room. “MORONS KEEP OUT” sign plastered on the door. 

Focus, chem homework. Elsa plods through chapters of Pharmacokinetics. “…rate of drug metabolisation in a patient’s bloodstream measured-” 

She yawns. Thoughts wander toward her sister. Vacant-minded stare out the window as she ponders how long it’d take to metabolise Anna out of her brain. Right as she tries to focus back on her notes again, the clock strikes three. She’s torn between leaving Anna to her own devices and continuing the homework. 

“…side effects: Euphoria, loss of motor control-” 

Fuck it. 

Elsa heads downstairs and tries to get the behemoth of a Range Rover to Anna’s school in one piece. It’s nothing, her reflection in the side mirror pales, you’re just picking your brat of a sister from detention. She looks at the other Private school students streaming from the glass-concrete compound and makes out Anna walking with her head down. Hands in her skirt pockets. Fjällräven bag dangles from her shoulders and prim red pigtails that make her look like the most precious person ever to grace her world. 

Anna spots the car and immediately walks in the other direction. A surge of annoyance wells within Elsa and she slams the door while getting out. 

“Hey,” Elsa catches up to her, “Hey!” 

She catches hold of Anna’s arm, only to get tugged away.

“Oh, it’s you,” Anna peeks over her shoulder, “Why’re you driving dad’s car?” 

Elsa sighs and tries to phrase an answer that won’t lead to Anna stomping off. 

“He’s in Boston for work,” Elsa crosses her arms, “and told me to get you after detention.” 

“Great,” Anna glares, “so now I’m stuck with you.” 

“What, you gonna beat me up too?” 

A glint of a smile appears on Anna’s lips. Rare and radiant like a ray of sunlight peeking through a hurricane. 

“I might,” Anna sneers, “if you piss me off as much as that fucking bitch during Lit class.” 

“Woah, the language on you, missy,” Elsa snarls, opening the car door, “you learn that in Literature?” 

“No,” Anna rests her knees on the dashboard, “just Shakespeare.” 

“Yea? I got a quote for you: ‘Though she be but little, she is fierce!’” Elsa sniggers. 

Anna smiles, “Twelfth Night!” 

Her sister’s beaming now. The afternoon sun falls across her face. Freckles sparse against glowing soft skin. Elsa’s chest clenches at the sight. God, that girl. It’s only a moment of weakness before she catches her eyes wandering to the smoothness of Anna’s thighs left bare from where her skirt had hitched up. 

Jesus, what the hell’s wrong with you? The car behind honks. Her face burns. 

“Pay attention!” Anna chides, fiddling with the radio, “Are you going straight home, or what?” 

“Dad told me-” 

“Could we not?” Anna pleads with pouty, puppy eyes, “It’s the first day of summer, for fucks sake!” 

“Language!” 

“Let’s go to the mall,” Anna gestures at her feet, “my shoes got torn up and I need new ones.” 

“I’m not taking you to the mall, Anna,” Elsa retorts, “and you don’t have money anyway - Dad stopped-”

“I’ve still got money from working over Spring Break.” 

“You what?” 

Anna pauses, “You didn’t know I’d been working at Dairy Queen?” 

Silence stretches thin between them. Your sister had a job and you had no idea? What’d you been doing? Studying? Shutting out the whole world? She looks over at Anna, teal-blue eyes and that broken look on her face which always got her way. Or maybe you just didn’t want to feel weak beneath those eyes. 

“Ok, fine,” Elsa relents, “let’s get your damn shoes or whatever.” 

“Yay! You’re the fucking best!” Anna squeals. Before leaning over and planting a huge, wet kiss on Elsa’s cheek. 

Elsa nearly swerves into oncoming traffic. 

***

Despite Anna’s promises, she still takes her loving-sweet time to choose a pair of shoes. It ends up being another pair of Converse Chucks anyway. Elsa diligently studies lecture notes on her phone while waiting at H&M. Eyes widen when she notices Anna browsing a rack of bikinis. 

It’s summer. Elsa tells herself. 

She wonders if she’d get to see Anna in one. Or if someone else will. The imagination needles at her mind and she heaves in relief when Anna leaves empty-handed. The girl’s doe-eyed persistence doesn’t let up, however, and Anna promptly demands they stop by Baskin-Robbins for ice cream. As per summer traditions. 

Plain chocolate for Elsa. Berryfudge Cookie-Blast for Anna. She struggles to keep the overflowing cone in one piece. Even when Elsa scoops a spoonful to help.

“No stealing,” Anna snarks.

“Fine.”

Anna slathers her tongue upon the pink and blue monstrosity. An evident shudder slices through her nerves. 

“So what’s this I hear about you and that guy, Hans?” Elsa asks. Trying to keep the fantasies at bay.

“None of your business,” Anna pauses and relents, “ok, fine. He asked me out. We might both end up in FSU anyway.”

“And you agreed?”

“I went out with him once,” Anna looks away, sundae threatening to melt onto her fingers, “might go out with him again.” 

Elsa fights the stinging in her chest and maintains a stony expression, “That good, huh?”

Anna shrugs, “Hey, sometimes you gotta be sure.”

“First time I’ve seen you cautious about anything,” Elsa sneers.

Anna waves an ice cream-tipped spoon, “Things done well, and with a care-”

“-exempt themselves from fear, yes yes - Henry VIII.”

A huge grin breaks on Anna’s face, “You’re clever-er than I thought.” 

“-and you’re-” 

Words desert Elsa momentarily. Beautiful. Irresistible. Forbidden. A thunderclap echoes in her soul when they lock eyes. The epiphany shines through clouds of delusion; she’d avoided Anna for so long because it’d inevitably circle back to this self-loathing mess of attraction. The tugging in her chest stops long enough to notice Anna digging at her cone with a spoon. 

“Stop stealing my ice cream, missy,” Elsa complains, “you didn’t let me try yours.” 

The warning’s ignored as Anna takes a second scoop. 

“Stop! And you had to take two bites!” 

“Hey, sometimes you gotta be sure,” Anna licks chocolate off her lips. 

Mischief surges through Elsa and she leans forward to take a huge chomp out of Anna’s cone. A shrill-voiced squeal erupts and Anna lurches after Elsa’s. It’s messy. Two sisters fending the other off until creamy flecks litter the table. 

“Ok! I give up!” Elsa relents, she spots a white smear on Anna’s cheek and reaches over with a paper napkin, “Y-you’ve got crap on your face.” 

Their eyes meet. Elsa pauses midway, before moving closer and wiping it off. The tremble in her hand doesn’t go unnoticed. Neither is the blush spreading between Anna’s freckles. The girl crumples the napkin into a tiny ball and drops it to the floor. Her voice descends to a whisper. 

“So do you.” 

Every muscle in Elsa’s body freezes tight as her sister leans closer and licks the fudge off the corner of her lips. Her heart stops. What’s left of the cone plops onto the table. When her senses swim back, all she sees is Anna’s smile spreading across her perfect lil’ face. All she hears is pounding in her ears. And a stuttery voice leaving her lips. 

“D-did you get it all off?” 

Anna leans in again. Right before their lips touch - she hears those words. Undoubtedly haunting her dreams for years to come. 

“Sometimes, you gotta be sure.” 

***

DarkWeb messenger v2022

091622-0201hrs-RubyRose21: u pulled a gun on me???? 091622-0202hrs-RubyRose21: whr do u get off, gawd- 091622-0202hrs-RubyRose21: wht d fuk - did u chnge ur number??? 091622-0205hrs-IceQueen: Dispute not with her - she is lunatic. 091622-0206hrs-RubyRose21: RICHARD III??? WHAT **RubyRose21 blocked**

092422-1044hrs-Perkins36: howdy stranger. care to indulge an old man’s itch for LSD? I work at FSU 092422-1044hrs-IceQueen: no LSD. PCP/Shrooms. 20/tab 092422-1044hrs-Perkins36: Lets do 10. arts faculty entrance at 1am? I have to work late 092422-1045hrs-IceQueen: k

***

Tallahassee, Fall ‘22

Every one of their childhood memories jogs through Anna’s brain as she crouches behind a pillar. The darkness in her soul mirrors the pitch-dark faculty grounds. She bites her lip. Trying to conjure some misdeed or slight or annoyance that made Elsa abandon her like this. It’s useless - she knows exactly what she’s done. Merely avoiding the obvious in favour of deceiving herself that it’s her own fault things are ruined. 

It was perfect, Anna thinks, looking at the stars. One perfect, blissful summer before it all exploded like a supernova and left behind a dark void where her presence once lived. 

A car rumbles into the parking lot, headlights down. Her jaw clenches. Vengeful words sprout in her mind. Braided through that desperate longing to see Elsa one more time. 

The blonde figure approaches. Hands in her pockets. 

Anna’s breath knots tight in her chest and she emerges into the dark. Face held aloft to her sister. Elsa staggers back and scowls. 

“Fuck!” Elsa hisses, pointing at Anna, “I drove across town to pick up the stuff and it’s you-” 

“You blocked me?” Anna’s brows furrow, “What the hell’s wrong with you?” 

“We’re through,” Elsa turns and walks away, only to get yanked around. She reaches for her hip. 

“Brave enough to sell drugs on campus but too pussy to pack heat in a gun-free zone?” 

“Enough, Anna-” 

“You pulled a gun on your sister-” 

“Let go of me!” Elsa shoves her back. A visible crest of hurt spikes on Anna’s face at the word. Sister. At getting shut out for years. The violent alienation. Every hate-filled Facebook message and unanswered text and hours spent searching for the shadow of Elsa’s presence boils over into a single tear streaked upon her cheek. 

“I…I searched for you, for years,” Anna’s voice strains, “I thought you moved to South Carolina-” 

Elsa looks at the concrete, “Why? What do you want from me?” 

Anna’s mouth opens to answer, but she’s already walking off into the darkness. 

“I want you back, ok?” Anna stumbles after her, “We’re supposed to be sisters! This isn’t normal-” 

Elsa whirls around and jabs a finger, “It isn’t!” 

The glimmering fury staring back halts the rest of her rant. Her heart cracks a little more when she sees her unadorned fingers. No ring. 

“Don’t you get it?” A tear glistens from Elsa’s eyes, “It’s not normal - this thing between us. I’m not normal. That’s why I left.” 

Anna looks down at the fist bunched around her shirt. Palpable hesitation in those slender fingers before she slowly lets go. All at once she feels like falling into a darkness. And already she wishes she’d never stepped foot into the dark web. Only to find hurt and heartbreak waiting within its dark recesses. Spreading through her chest with each step Elsa runs away from her. 

***

Tallahassee, Summer ‘18

Elsa lets out a shrill-voiced scream as she’s plunged into darkness. Her heart lurches. Whiteness floods her vision and she’s left gasping with scarcely a breath left in her lungs. The rollercoaster levels out but her head feels numb. Beside her, Anna’s sneering - not letting up until they come to a complete stop. 

“You were screaming,” Anna mocks. 

“Oh god, I-I,” Elsa gasps, knees buckle as she exits the ride, “my throat is hoarse-” 

“Hah!” Anna giggles, throwing her arms around Elsa, “That was hella fun!” 

“I only did it because you asked me to-” 

“Thank you, sport,” Anna walks ahead through the crowd. Frayed denim shorts hug her hips tight. She’s happy. Elsa thinks. That’s all you want for her. Her eyes rove Anna’s thin waist. Bare strip of skin exposed between her shorts and tank top. Her sister’s strawberry scent still lingers from the hug. When Anna looks back and smiles, her heart’s ready to explode. 

“Waddya wanna do next?” 

Perspiration dribbles down Elsa’s temple. Her heart throbs. She doesn’t know if it’s the rollercoaster. Unease further thrums when her phone pings with Kristoff’s notification. She scowls and mashes a reply before Anna can notice. 

DarkWeb messenger v2018

070118-1422hrs-ZZRudolphZZ: 4th July thing coming - any chance we could score more of that Molly shit? 070118-1445hrs-IceQueen: talk later. with my sister.

“Ice cream,” Elsa suggests, but she points at the darkened clouds, “looks like it’s gonna rain though.”

“Is this your way of getting another kiss out of me?”

Elsa’s face reddens, “What? That was not a kiss.” 

“Sure, keep telling yourself that.” 

Anna’s half-smirk shoots straight through her gut. She’s your sister. Temptation stirs in a pool of warmth. She could be wanting it as much as you.

Stop, Elsa clenches her jaw, you’re a sick freak. 

“C’mon, let’s go home,” Elsa feels the first drops of rain on her fingertips, “housekeeper stocked Häagen-Dazs for us.”

Anna gasps, “Chocolate?” 

“Brownie Ganache.” 

“Yes!” Anna squeals, hugging Elsa tight again. And as she squeezes Anna’s slim figure back, feels that coil of warmth within herself latching onto her soul. Rapidly losing its battle against her sister’s forbidden charms. 

***

The deluge fails to drown out Anna’s singing in the car. Bopping along to Rihanna on the radio. Back home, she heads straight to the freezer and retrieves a pint while Elsa tries to remember where they left off on Breaking Bad last night. It’s impossible to concentrate on the show. Taste of chocolate in her mouth. Anna’s legs propped on a coffee table, tanned and soft beneath the living room lights. She looks over at her sister more than once, spoon perched on her lips. Trying not to imagine Anna tasting like Brownie Ganache. 

They make it to the season finale. Credits roll. The storm’s still relentless outside and there’s another one brewing inside Elsa when her sister shifts closer on the couch. 

“I bought something for you.” 

Crumpled packaging parchment sits on Anna’s hand. She finds a glittering Topaz ring set in gold nestled within. 

“It matches your eyes.” 

A ring. Your sister bought you jewellery. Elsa strains to breathe, “This looks really expensive.” 

Anna shrugs, “Dairy Queen paid well, not gonna lie-” 

“But why?” Elsa turns the ring over in her hands, “My birthday’s not until Christmas.” 

“I wanted to thank you,” Anna bites her lip, “for spending summer with me.” 

A well of affection builds in Elsa and threatens to burst. She wants to hug her. Kiss her. Shed that tear on the verge of escaping. All she manages is a terse sputter, “I love you, Anna. You’re my sister - of course I’d look after you.” 

Her lungs clam up when Anna reaches and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. Self-control crumbles. Elsa leans closer and presses a kiss to Anna’s cheek. When her eyes open again, the girl reacts like she’s just been shot. Touching that blooming spot of red. You went too far. Anna’s scowl bears down on her. She’s never talking to you again. 

“Sorry, w-was that too much?” Elsa asks. 

The girl softens. Words tug at her lips to be set free, like that dance they’ve teetered around each other all summer. 

“No,” Anna whispers, shifting closer, “in fact - it’s not enough.” 

Her pulse seizes. Foggy gaze centres on Anna’s half-lidded eyes. Lips separated by a held breath. Beneath the forlorn scream of her conscience, Elsa finds enough lucidity to whisper. 

“There’s no going back from this, y’know?” 

“I can’t go back,” Anna’s smile curls against her own, “not from someone like you.” 

Their lips touch. A graze. A flicker. Tentative. Like tasting each other for the first time and not knowing if it be poison or honey they partake. Right before Anna crushes her lips into Elsa’s and pitches her world upside down. A spoon clatters. Hungry hands paw at her shirt. Her soul plummets through a chasm of sin, but all she wants is to pull Anna right into its depths. Together. 

“Why?” Elsa sputters between shallow breaths. 

“Because - she had eyes, and chose,” Anna trails kisses down Elsa’s neck, “Oth-” 

“Othello, yes,” Elsa clasps her sister’s head, staring into lust-soaked pools of blue, “we shouldn’t be doing this. Y’know?” 

“No, we shouldn’t,” Anna bites her lips, before kissing her again, “but I’m choosing to. And I’m choosing you.” 

Electricity bursts through her core as Anna hitches a thigh upwards. She hears a moan somewhere. Echoing above the pattering rain. 

Shouldn’t. 

Her heart plunges into a pool of feelings she shouldn’t be feeling. Mouths whisper words they shouldn’t be saying to each other. Lips and fingers going places they shouldn’t be going. 

“Oh my god,” Anna seethes. Arching into her sister’s touch. 

God. 

Elsa screws her eyes shut and sees Him. Only meaning to ask why something so wrong could feel so right. 

***

DarkWeb messenger v2022

092722-2031hrs-JessRabbit: i want crack. Sell it to me. 092722-2031hrs-IceQueen: no crack. read the ad. 092722-2032hrs-JessRabbit: addys den. $500 092722-2145hrs-JessRabbit: HELLO??? 092722-2146hrs-IceQueen: God has given you one face, and you make yourself another. 092722-2147hrs-JessRabbit: Othello. FUCK 092722-2148hrs-IceQueen: you’re not gonna stop, are you 092722-2149hrs-JessRabbit: I want answers 092722-2149hrs-IceQueen: I am not bound to please thee with my answers 092722-2151hrs-JessRabbit: MACBETH? 092722-2151hrs-IceQueen: Merchant of Venice 092722-2151hrs-IceQueen: you’re getting sloppy. im at Hedon on Fridays **JessRabbit blocked**

***

Tallahassee, Fall ‘18

The night sky lights with an occasional flash of lightning and the cold glow of her former home. Within her water-logged eyes, Elsa can’t tell where rain begins and where tears end. It’s not going to end. She looks up at Agnarr’s unmoving shadow on the second floor. Cursing beneath the rumbling thunder as she loads the last suitcase into her new Ford. 

No, she thinks, looking back at the ghost of a house, this is how it ends. 

The rainwater’s pooling in the driveway now. She imagines pieces of her broken heart washing into the drain. Maybe she’ll find them again in South Carolina. Or in a ditch somewhere. Thunder claps through her ears. Dad’s heated words still booming loud within them. She flinches at the door opening. Shit, I swore she was engrossed in a new episode. 

“No!” Elsa screams at Anna, running into the rain, “It’s pouring!” 

“What are you-” Anna peers into the car, “Are you leaving?” 

Elsa wipes rainwater from her eyes. All it does is burn the clarity of Anna’s shattered expression into her memory. 

“I’m going, Anna-” 

“Why?” Anna yells. Hair sticks to her face. Hands outstretched, trembling. Agnarr’s folded arms behind the balcony. Coward. Come down here and look what you’ve done. 

“I-I’ve kept things from you,” Elsa tries to make herself heard over the rain; impossible with how broken her voice is, “I’ve sold drugs from home a-and…dad found out.” 

“What?” Anna shrieks, “You expect me to believe that horseshit?” 

Anna steps closer, only for Elsa to hold out a hand. Fist clenches around her soaking wet shirt. A slight glance at Agnarr, still unmoving. 

“D-don’t make this harder for me,” Elsa’s lips sputter with rain and tears, “Or yourself.” 

“W-was this about what happened between us?” 

She looks straight through blurry eyes into the recesses of Anna’s heart. Sees only purity. But instead of affection, she feels the unbearable burden of knowing she’d never, in a million lifetimes - deserve her sister’s love. Agnarr’s still staring at them. Fuck him. 

“Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love,” Elsa whispers. Pulling Anna into a kiss laced with the bittersweet brevity of their love affair. You chose this. You knew it’d end up like this and you chose it. Salt mixes with rain. It doesn’t matter. If she had to do it all over again, she would’ve chosen Anna a million times out of a million. 

“Hamlet,” Anna whispers back.  

Elsa lets go of her sister. Driving away with nothing set in the GPS. Before she turns the corner from the suburban street where she grew up, looks back one last time and sees the shadow of Anna’s figure kneeling in the driveway. Head in her hands and sobbing in the pouring rain. 

***

Tallahassee, Fall ‘22

Anna pulls up to Club Hedon and realises she should’ve read the Google reviews. Or a dictionary. Hedon. Hedonistic. Friday-night revellers dressed like it’s Halloween on crack. Rampant display of flesh and latex and skintight leather. She watches a bare-chested man walk past her car in a gas mask, nipple clamps flopping in the humid night air. Fuckin’ hell - is this Elsa’s new scene? She digs through her memories. Blonde hair perpetually buried in her books. Now selling drugs to college students and hanging out with folk who look like they belong in an S&M dungeon. Or perhaps this was one. 

Three realisations hit her as she crosses the parking lot. She drove. She left her fake ID in dorm. She’s wearing a college t-shirt and skinny jeans. 

She might as well be a goth at a nursing home. Standing in line with blackclad partygoers plastered in pasty-white makeup. Her head swims at the red-velvet wallpaper. Broken neon lights and the faint thump of rave music behind the door. The queue moves quickly. She quakes in her sneakers before the hulking mass of a bouncer. The skinhead takes one look at Anna and goes red-faced with restrained laughter. He waves her in. 

It’s smoky. It’s loud. Red-and-green lasers lace between raptured arms like an unholy Evangelical church service. Muscle-bound men cavort with ladies dressed in corsets and fishnets and sky-high boots. Her throat goes dry. Chest clenching hard when she spots Elsa staring from across the bar. No more running away. No shadowy ambushes. Just a leather biker’s jacket and that effortless blonde braid she’s dreamt of a million times. 

A shot of vodka sits ready when she approaches. Those eyes. Sultry. Possessive. Shattered with regret. She dives within them, searching for hope. Comes up empty. But finds it in the Topaz ring on her thumb. Anna downs the vodka and stares her sister in the face. 

“Hell is empty and all the devils are here.” 

“Tempest,” Elsa smiles, “not your scene then.” 

“And it’s yours?” Anna quirks an eyebrow. 

“I’m here for work,” Elsa looks away, “drugs don’t sell themselves.” 

Vodka swirls in her head and she clutches the bar. Words tangle in her throat. She could run away again. Disappear like a ghost in the night, leaving her clutching at a shadow destined to forever elude her. Anna struggles to piece together a sentence. 

“Did you really get kicked out because Dad caught you selling dope?” 

Elsa looks down and fiddles with her ring. 

“No,” Elsa locks eyes with her, “I left because he caught us.” 

Her chest implodes. The music pounds in her ears. 

“Why on earth didn’t you say so?” 

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” Elsa’s fist quakes around the vodka, “call Dad a bastard but he was right - this would’ve been way more damaging if neither of us knew how to deal with it and just let it go on.” 

“And you just left?” Anna rifles her hair, “Without saying anything?” 

“I removed myself,” Elsa shoots back, “a-all I meant to do was give you a chance to be normal. We couldn’t have done that so close together-” 

“Yea, right. Normal.” Anna steps closer and closes a hand upon Elsa’s. The bar’s sticky. Sweat leaks down her collar. “Look where normal brought us. Right back to each other.” 

Elsa squeezes her hand back, “I-I’m not normal, Anna. This thing I felt towards you. I’ve tried so long to treat you like a normal sister - and I just couldn’t-” 

A fingertip on Elsa’s lips cuts her off. Cold and sharp like her words. Rife desire flares within her eyes in time with the flickering laser lights. 

“If you can’t be normal towards me,” Anna breathes a vodka-laced wisp on her lips, “then be abnormal.” 

“-abnormal?”

“Hurt me, use me, abuse me,” Anna’s unwavering stare captures Elsa in a trance, “you’ve already messed me up so bad by leaving. I wouldn’t mind a bit more pain-”

“Anna-”

“-as long it comes from you. As long I get to have you in my life.”

Darkness floods Elsa’s eyes.

A tug on her wrist pulls Anna towards the dancefloor. Bodies bump around like she’s buffeted in a stormy, black sea. Guided by an icy-white braid leading through the chaos. Arms close around her waist. Amidst the dense press of flesh and leather she can’t tell where her hips end and where Elsa’s begin. A warmth spreads up her neck as Elsa kisses between each freckle. Terse whisper in the noise somehow audible like she’s speaking straight to her heart. 

“You’ve no idea just how abnormal I can get with you.” 

Anna shudders beneath Elsa’s touch. Her chest stirs. That perverse hunger she’s forgotten bares its ugly fangs. The abnormal part of herself so easily hidden behind the facade of college, literature, Hans. All the normal she’s meant to do in life. Save for the one person who truly made her feel normal. 

Entangled in Elsa’s limbs. Ensared within a dark web of sin. Hips and breasts flushed like that summer afternoon on the couch - feels as natural and normal as breathing itself. 

A hand snakes around Elsa’s neck; eternal blue eyes melt her last resolve. She drags Elsa deep and kisses her with four years of desperate longing from the shadows. Pulling away to gasp for air, Anna awakens on the altar of unbridled surrender to Elsa’s lips. Her name whispered like the thrumming hymn in her heart. Instead of a sacrament, she tastes cigarettes and vodka. Instead of penance, she offers guilt and lust. In place of salvation, Anna darkens her soul with sin. Burying her conscience with each kiss Elsa peppers on her skin. Her lungs enrapture with worshipful piety. Straining to breathe in the holy temple of Elsa’s vanilla scent. 

One more verse flutters through her mind. 

“You have witchcraft in your lips,” Anna breathes against her sister’s neck. 

Elsa’s eyes widen. She ponders for a moment while their fingers interlace.  

She takes a deep breath before uncertainty overtakes her and looks at the instructions one more time. The goddess’ faded image leaves a lot to interpretation, but if she’s anything like her bio says, then this will all have been worth it. Without further ado, she recites the well-preserved incantation. 

I call to thee the queen of wind and skyThe master of snow and frostWho holds the weather in her graspAnd whose breath turns the clouds a silver greyI am humbled and in awe of your majestyAnd seek your presence here and now

As soon as she utters the last word, the candles along the web’s borders extinguish, bathing her apartment’s living room in darkness. There’s a harsh crackling noise, like the sound of ice breaking, as the outline of the web is traced with a glowing blue light from the back to the front.

The glow envelopes the entire room and Anna has to cover her eyes with her arm. The intensity reminds her of when she stared at the sun too long as a kid, and yet it also feels surprisingly nice. Warm. Like stepping into a big hug. But before Anna can embrace the light, she’s startled by a voice that echoes inside her bones. 

“Who dares summon Elsa, the Goddess of Winter, before her season of need?” 

Anna puts her arm down but keeps her eyes shut, waving in the direction of the voice. “Uh, h-hi! Hi? That’s me, I did that. My name’s Anna.” Under her breath, she mutters, “Holy shit, it actually worked.”

“You are either very brave or very foolish to summon me during the peak of summer. State your request, mortal, and I will judge whether it is one or the other.” 

Her booming voice is a discordant choir, surrounding her real voice like a needle in a haystack. Anna dares to open one of her eyes and sees a feminine silhouette with dark voids where her eyes and mouth should be. “W-Well, uh, your highness– I mean goddess! I’m…not sure what you want to be called.” 

“Call me by my name.” 

“Oh. Okay then, uh, Elsa– beautiful name, by the way– I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to hang out?”

“…what?” 

“Just for like a couple of hours.“

“Foolish mortal, surely you jest.”

“Nope. Do you like frozen yogurt?” 

“Frozen yogurt.” 

“Yeah, it’s like ice cream but fake.” 

“I am aware of the concept.” 

“Oh cool, well there’s a really good frozen yogurt place like five minutes from here. I can drive us, if you want.” 

“If I…let me see if I have this correct.” The blue glow shrinks away and the darkness fades as Elsa’s form becomes tangible, and visible, and…stunning. The soft features of her face more than compliment her thin yet curvy figure, and her sequined dress and hair– both white as snow– add this etherealness to her already ethereal…ness. 

“Whoa,” Anna says.

When Elsa speaks again, the distortion has fallen away and Anna can hear her true, silvery voice that is just as attractive as she is. “You went through the effort to perform my meticulous summoning ritual simply just to…have my company?” 

“Ah, it wasn’t that complicated,” Anna lies. “But yeah, that’s about right.”

Elsa raises her eyebrows and crosses her arms in a surprisingly sassy gesture. “You understand that I am a goddess, correct? I have spent centuries quelling wars, bestowing boons onto great warriors, and weaving the threads of nature with my fingertips.”

Anna shrugs, “You’re free to say no.” 

“…” 

“I mean if you want to.” 

A few more divine seconds pass before Elsa sighs and walks past her. “I will grant you half an hour,” she declares.

***************************************

Anna sits back down at their small circular table, holding out the one of two spoons she had in her hand to Elsa. “Here you go, they only had one big spoon,” she says with the same gleeful smile she’s had since they hopped into her fully paid off 2003 Kia Sorento.

Elsa takes the spoon, still sporting the same skeptical look she’s had since slipping into the passenger seat of the creaky, squeaky 2003 Kia Sorento. “Thank you,” she replies. 

“No problem.” Anna looks down at her cup of frozen yogurt, gleefully scooping a spoonful of the peanut butter flavored concoction covered in Reese’s pieces, mini peanut butter cups, and more peanut butter. “I’ve always wanted to try this place, you know?” 

“I was under the impression that you have been to this establishment before,” Elsa says, tucking her spoon into her plain, naked cup of sherbet. 

“Oh, no. I mean I’ve wanted to– I hear people talking about it all the time when they don’t think I’m listening– but I never have.” 

“I…see.” Elsa is sitting with the straightest posture, as if slouching for even a second would leave a permanent wrinkle on her majestic dress. To be honest, it’s kind of weird. “I must admit, of all the mortals that have summoned me, you are the first one to express such simple ambitions.” 

Anna scoffs and puts down her spoon. “Uh, simple? I–” She puts up her finger and picks up her spoon again to take another bite of her frozen yogurt. “Mmph, that’s so good. Anyway, I’m offended. Going out to eat on your own isn’t ‘simple’, it’s weird and scary and uncomfortable.” 

Elsa crinkles her nose as if she’s smelled something bad and takes a bite of her stupid rainbow sherbet. “Three hundred years ago, I aided a lone woman in labor while she fought off wolves in her cabin. She’d whittled a crude spear from one of the legs of her table.” 

Anna looks at her companion with pursed lips, “I mean…there are different kinds of ‘scary’.” 

“No, mortal, I do not think there are. If this is a matter of anxiety over doing things alone, you could have asked me to create a temporary companion.” 

“I do have a temporary companion.” Anna points her wet spoon at Elsa. “You.”

Elsa somehow sits up straighter. “I am not ‘temporary’ and I am certainly not a mere ‘companion’. I am the goddess of winter, something I am certain you know, and I would advise you to remember that.“

Anna grins, “Yeesh, the books said you had a bit of an ego, but I didn’t think it would be this big.”

“Is that right?” Elsa stands up and makes for the door with a flourish of her hair. 

“What? Oh, come on.” Anna picks up their cups, pushes both their chairs in, and follows Elsa outside. The perfect summer afternoon makes the deity’s dress sparkle in the sunlight. “Elsa!” 

Elsa keeps her stiff demeanor as she paces down the sidewalk, heels clicking against the concrete with discontent. “I will not be spoken to in such a tactless way by a mortal with no sense of probity.” 

“I’m twenty-five, of course I don’t have property.” 

“What?” 

“Nothing.” Anna groans, wondering how Elsa could walk so fast in heels anyway. “Could you please slow down?” 

“And why should I?”

“Because we just passed my car and our frozen yogurts are already melting,” Anna reasons. “And I’m sorry?” 

That, of course, manages to get Elsa to stop in her tracks– almost causing Anna to collide with her partially exposed back. The taller woman turns around, eyeing the apologetic summoner with discontent. “Do you truly mean that?”

“About the frozen yogurt? Yeah.” Anna holds up the cups of fake ice cream soup.

“Not–” Elsa rolls her eyes and, with a flick of her wrist, the frozen yogurts retain their original shape, seemingly unfazed now by the heat. “Do you truly feel remorse for your disrespect?” 

“I…” Anna sighs. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I’m not good with the whole talking or making friends thing. People always tell me I can be insensitive and not good with social cues and stuff.” 

“Tactless,” Elsa repeats. 

“Yeah, that too, I guess. Anyway, I’ve always been a big geek about myths and stuff, and I found this old book at the library about summoning rituals. I figured if regular people didn’t like me– uh, mortals, I guess– maybe not regular people might. Like me, I mean.” 

Elsa crosses her arms, her striking blue eyes searching for deception or deeper meaning in Anna’s lighter blue ones. “You used sacred knowledge to befriend a divine being?” 

Anna squeezes the back of her neck and bites her lip; it’s probably for the best that she doesn’t leave any more details out about her crazy plan. “I used sacred knowledge so I could…befriend you.” 

Throughout her twenty-five years on this strange, isolating Earth, Anna has done some crazy things. She’s taxidermied a fox, and even did something called a Cupid Shuffle. But none of that compares to seeing Elsa’s eyes widen briefly and knowing that she just surprised a goddess. 

Elsa, quick to regain her composure, takes the cup of sherbet out of Anna’s hands. “It is not wise to let this go to waste,” she says. 

Anna smiles, eating a triumphant scoop of her peanut butter monstrosity. 

***************************************

Despite their first meeting ending…okay, Anna hesitated in calling upon Elsa again. She still did it, but not that confidently. As expected, Elsa emerged from the webflake with some exasperation over being summoned by the mythology enthusiast, but she didn’t abandon her. After all, Anna promised her more rainbow sherbet. 

For the first couple of months, that’s how things worked with this odd pairing. Anna would summon Elsa, Elsa would tell her she has more important matters to attend to, and then they’d spend an hour or two together eating frozen yogurt and shooting the shit. 

By the fifth visit, after Anna had spent almost two hundred dollars on lutefisk and painted the webflake onto her apartment floor, Elsa had finally let her guard down. 

“You provide interesting company, mortal. At least more than most of my past summoners,” she tells her while they’re at an exhibit for scenes from Shakespearean plays recreated with insects (aptly called To Bee or Not To Bee). 

Anna cautions a grin again, "I do, huh? More than that actress who wanted you to teach her how to be a goddess for that one superhero movie?”

Elsa frowns, “I tolerated her until she thanked a different god in her award speech.”

“And that general who asked you to freeze the rivers so invading ships couldn’t reach his ports?”

“The arrogant fool forgot to supply his troops with the means to survive the weather.”

“What about that prince who wanted you to kill all his brothers so he could become the heir?” Anna asks. 

“All interesting summoners in their own right, but their lack of morals and strong hubris filled me with regret for aiding them.” She puts her hands in the pockets of a jacket she borrowed from Anna and sighs, “Hell is empty and all the devils are here.”

“What?” 

“From The Tempest,” Elsa answers as she points at a glass casing where a fly seems to be communing with a spider surrounded by purple cotton balls. 

“Oh.” Anna leans forward, hands pressed against the glass right next to the sign that says not to press against the glass. She examines the scene with pursed lips. “I never liked reading Shakespeare. His stuff never made any sense, it was like every sentence was some kinda word puzzle.” 

“His contemporaries also thought as much.” 

Anna looks back at her with a raised eyebrow, “You met Shakespeare?”

“No, but I knew of him.” 

“How old are you?” 

“I do not believe social customs have changed so much that it is no longer rude to ask a woman about their age.” Elsa frowns and looks away from Anna’s curious gaze. “But, if you must know, this will be my thousandth year of existence.” 

The gears in Anna’s head start cranking until a look of recognition crosses her face. “Wait, so that means…we need to celebrate! One thousand’s gotta be a super big year for gods, right? When’s your birthday?”

“Curb your enthusiasm, mortal, we do not gauge the passage of time as you do. The concept of a ‘birthday’ means nothing to us.” 

Anna’s enthusiasm grows in defiance. “Oh, so then it can be any day. Like…next Tuesday after I buy more nettles?” 

Elsa places her fingers against her temples and closes her eyes. “You are far too presumptuous.”

“Come on, it’ll be fun!” Without thinking, Anna places her hands on top of Elsa’s surprisingly firm biceps, trying to get the goddess’s attention. 

The result is cataclysmic. In her exertion, Anna manages to pull herself closer to Elsa, whose hands find purchase atop the woman’s shoulders. Anna’s eyes travel across the landscape of Elsa’s face in a way she’s never experienced before. This close, she can see the flurry of freckles across her nose and the faint pinkness on her snow white cheeks. This close, she can smell the pine needles that dissipated from her apartment floor. This close, she can hear a shiver of breath and the sudden thumping of her heart. 

Thoughts she’s never entertained before scatter around her mind like snow in a snowglobe, but before she can make any sense of them, they’re interrupted by one of the museum’s security guards. 

“Romantic epiphanies are against the rules here, ladies,” he says, pointing his baton at a sign above them. “I’m afraid I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.” 

***************************************

They don’t end up celebrating Elsa’s birthday a week later. In fact, Elsa doesn’t answer her summons at all. 

At first, Anna thinks she must have gotten the components wrong, or maybe Elsa was needed somewhere else. She tries again the next day, but Elsa still doesn’t appear inside the glowing webflake. The week after, she tries again. And the week after that. And the week after that. 

Two months later, Anna is sitting on her knees in front of the harsh white light that illuminates her weary face. She recites the incantation with the clarity and reverence that surely must have been missing in her last summoning attempts. But still she’s met with the same loneliness that had plagued her all her life. 

In a desperate whisper, the words “Elsa, please.” escape her lips.

The visage of the wintry deity appears in mere seconds, though it’s only her silhouette. “I am here,” she says in her spooky, multi-layered voice. 

“Elsa…” Anna stands up, wincing as the pressure on her knees is finally relieved. She had played this scenario out in her head so many times, and each time her opening words had changed. Now, all she can say to start is, “Did I do something wrong?” 

Her plea is met with more familiar silence. 

“I did, didn’t I?” Anna continues. “At the museum, I felt something when…when we got close. And you probably sensed something, of course, since you’re a goddess, and it freaked you out.” 

“A goddess does not freak out,” Elsa states. 

“Then how do you explain this?” Anna gestures frantically at everything in front of her. “I’ve been trying to talk to you for two months and you haven’t answered. If this isn’t about me, then is it about the birthday thing? I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was that touchy of a subject.” 

“You did nothing wrong, mortal. It–” 

“Anna! My name is Anna, and you know that!” 

Despite Elsa’s lack of facial features, Anna can tell she’s left her speechless once again, but this time she finds no satisfaction in it. This time, she feels a tightness in her chest and throat that’s unbearable, and the only remedy seems to be the one thing that’s never come naturally to her: talking.

“I know that I’m stupid for thinking that I can just call you to hang out whenever, a–and I know I’m even stupider for feeling how I feel. But every time you answered me, and every time you agreed to do something stupid with me, I thought that meant something. I thought that finally I meant something to someone. Which, I guess, is the stupidest thing about all of this, because you’re you. Elsa. The century-old goddess of winter who can control the weather and stop wars and freeze frozen yogurt. And I’m…I’m me.” 

It seems she’s wrong, the tightness only worsens with each word she speaks. Nonetheless, she’s stepped into this storm of her own doing, and the only way out is to keep going. 

There’s a newfound tremble in her voice as continues; Elsa stays where she is. “I–I promise I won’t call on you again. This is the last time. I just– this is the first time I ever really felt close with someone, and when you stopped answering me, it hurt. And I don’t know why, but I needed you to know that.”

Elsa lifts her hands and seems to look at them, “I…understand.”

“You do?” 

“More than you can ever know.” 

“Wait, what? What do you mean?” Anna steps forward even though she knows she can’t enter the space that Elsa is occupying; she can’t sever the connection. Elsa must know this too, and yet she still steps back. “What can’t I know?” 

“I have said too much.” 

“Elsa, that–that’s not fair.” Anna wipes her face with her hand– tears, just what she needs. “I opened up to you, I told you how I was feeling.” 

“I never asked you to do that, and it is better for you not to know.” 

“You can’t decide that for me,” Anna argues. 

“I can when it comes to this,” Elsa replies.

“What does that mean?”

Elsa doesn’t say anything at first. She takes a tentative step forward, her aura overtaking Anna in a way she hasn’t experienced since the last time they were together. It’s strong, intoxicating, and warmer than the light that surrounds her. Even more so when Elsa’s ethereal hand starts to slowly move towards Anna’s face. And for a moment, Anna believes that everything will actually be okay; the impossible could actually be possible. 

But a moment is all it lasts. Elsa drops her hand, clutching it against her other one, and steps back. “I am sorry, this should not have happened.” 

“No. No, Elsa please.” 

“Goodbye, Anna,” Elsa says as she turns and steps away from the webflake.

“Elsa!” Anna shouts as she leaps forward with her hand outstretched. But it’s too late, the goddess is gone and in her place is a cold and familiar darkness. Anna stumbles to the floor, knocking over the stupidly expensive jar of lutefisk and an extinguished candle. This time, she lets the tears fall. 

***************************************

It’s crazy and discouraging how quickly life can change. Two months ago, Anna was having a pseudo-picnic lunch on a beautiful summer afternoon with a beautifuler goddess. Now, she’s eating a gas station sandwich on a park bench watching a couple’s only outdoor yoga class. 

Wild. 

A month later and the finality of her last conversation with Elsa still hasn’t sunk in. Her heart clenches in agony every time she thinks of the way her stoic face used to falter after Anna’s said something dumb, and when she drives by the frozen yogurt shop on her way to work, and especially when she sees the space on her floor where the webflake used to be. Funny how much she can miss someone she never actually had. And she says as much to the random guy sitting next to her on the bench. 

“I mean, she’s a goddess. She’s immortal and has all these goddess responsibilities and stuff, I was never even close to her league. But I…I was stupid and I thought I had a chance. It’s not her fault I was too ambitious– which is ironic considering one of the first things she told me was I wasn’t ambitious enough.” Anna sighs and wraps up what’s left of her sandwich. “Anyway, thanks for listening to me complain. What did you say you needed again?” 

The man, with a gun pointed right at her, repeated, “Your wallet? I’m robbing you, remember?” 

“Ah, right. Thanks for reminding me.” Anna taps her temple. “And, uh, no you can’t have my wallet. Sorry.” 

The man grimaces, “The fuck do you mean ‘no’? I’m not asking for it, I’m telling you to give it to me.” 

“And I’m telling you that you can’t have it. But if you’re hungry, you can have the rest of my sandwich.” Anna holds the possibly expired ham and cheese sandwich towards the robber. 

He swats it away with his non-pistol-wielding hand, a stray goose snatches it away and leaves Anna alone to fend for herself like a dick. “Do you think I’m fucking around here? This–this thing is loaded, okay? It has bullets! I will shoot you if you don’t give me your money.” 

When the man slaps her hand away, it manages to knock some lucidity back into Anna. This is actually happening to her, and there’s no escaping it. She places her hand back on her lap and gives the robber a serious look. “Shoot me.” 

The robber stammers but tries to cover it up with a laugh, “What?” 

“Shoot me,” Anna repeats. 

“What are you trying to do, bluff me?” He points the gun up and down as if to prove it’s real. “You–You don’t think I’ll do it?” 

“I mean this feels like your first time trying to rob someone, but I think you’re capable of doing it. You probably need the money for something important, which I understand, but I just…” Anna sighs and shrugs, “I don’t know. I guess I’m just done.” 

The robber lets out another humorless and disbelieving chuckle. “I get it. You think this is all one big joke, you think there are cameras or some shit. Well, guess what, lady? This ain’t some kinda joke. This is real life, and if you’ve got a death wish, then I’d be happy to–” 

He’s unable to finish his threat before a blast of white covers him and traps him in a cube of ice. 

“By the Nine Realms, what do you think you are doing?” 

Anna turns to see Elsa advancing with a hand pointed guardingly towards the frozen criminal, complete with an annoyed look she never thought she’d see again. “Elsa?” she says as she stands up and looks around. “How are…did someone summon you?” 

“No, I came of my own accord.” The goddess eyes her handiwork, swiping a finger across the physics-defying ice. Inside, the robber looks at them with terror-filled eyes. “And it is fortunate that I did.” 

“So, you just happened to be in the neighborhood and saw this guy trying to rob me,” Anna says, her question sounding more like an accusation.

“I did not say that.” 

“Then how could…” Anna tilts her head. “Wait, you were watching me?” 

Elsa looks away.

“Elsa, look at me.” If it were any other deity, Anna would have been smitten a hundred times over for sounding so demanding. But Elsa doesn’t do that, she looks back at Anna with such intensity, as if she’s fighting some sort of unseen battle. She knows she needs to choose her next words carefully. “Are goddesses allowed to stalk people?” 

“Omnipresence is not the same as stalking.”

“I’m not asking about omnipresence, I’m asking you if you can be wherever and see whatever you want at any time.” 

“That’s–” 

“And why is it me?” Anna steps forward, knee now resting against the park bench that separates them. “The last time we talked, you said goodbye. I don’t know if ‘goodbye’ means something else in your pantheon, but to us mortals it means ‘I don’t want to see you again and also I’m gonna break your heart and make you feel like you’re unlovable’.” 

“Is that how I truly made you feel?” 

“Yes! No! Ugh, I don’t know and I hate it!” Anna digs her hands into her hair. “I’m constantly shifting between feeling so angry that I want to punch a wall to feeling cold and empty to feeling so sad that I start crying. You wanna know how many times I’ve cried since you left? Twelve times! I don’t like it.” 

A guilty frown appears on Elsa’s face and she briefly looks away, “I am sorry, I never should have made my presence known. And I never should have answered your initial summoning.” 

Anna groans and throws her hands up, “No, that’s not– you can’t just do this again, Elsa. You can’t leave and make me feel like shit, and then come back and make me feel all warm and happy and angry and– god I hate how beautiful you are! And you can’t just say you’re sorry and then leave again.” 

“Then what is it that you want?” 

“You!” Without thinking, Anna reaches out and grabs hold of Elsa’s arm as if she’ll disappear again if she doesn’t. “You stupid idiot, I want you. And I know I shouldn’t because you’re a goddess and I’m…well, I’m me, but I can’t help it, okay? Goddess, you probably don’t even feel the same way. What am I doing? Maybe I’m the stupid idiot.”

Elsa’s breath catches when Anna’s hand makes contact with her arm, and it leaves her entirely as she hears that raw, tender confession. A tense silence lingers between them; she ensures it doesn’t last.  “You are not stupid.”

Anna sighs, “Oh great, so I’m just an idiot, then.”

“You are neither of those things.” Elsa takes Anna’s hand off her arm and cups it with both of hers. “But it is foolish to think…that I do not feel the same.”

“You…” Anna shakes her head, “Shut up, you don’t mean that.”

“I do.”

Anna feels Elsa squeeze her hand; her fingers aren’t as cold as she thought they’d be. Wait, is it profiling to assume the goddess of winter would have cold skin? Shut up, Anna, that’s not important right now. She ekes out a response, “Elsa…”

“The feelings I have for you are ones I have not felt for a very long time. But I remember them well.” Elsa takes a breath and looks at Anna with an intensity that almost makes her blush. “I wish for there to be more between us, Anna.”

And now she is blushing. “I…b–but I can’t even summon you anymore. I got rid of the summoning circle, and imported lutefisk is really expensive.”

Elsa smiles and gestures at herself, “As you can see, I no longer need to be summoned.”

“You don’t? So, does that mean you’ll pay me back for all that stuff?” Anna chuckles nervously, and she watches as Elsa once again reaches up to touch her face. This time, there’s no hesitation; no stepping back. It gives her a sense of comfort– a sense of belonging– that she’s never felt before. And it also makes her hella weak in the knees.

“I will give you anything,” Elsa replies. “Name it, and it is yours.” 

“Okay, well that’s a pretty long list. But what I want right now…” Anna runs her thumbs across the back of Elsa’s hands. “…is to kiss you.” 

Elsa obliges, closing the last bit of space between them to give Anna exactly what she wants. What they both want. Kissing a goddess is an indescribable feeling, like seeing an unseen color or hearing a new melody no one has ever heard before. It’s exhilarating, replenishing and life-affirming. For a second, Anna believes she’s immortal as well. 

Suddenly, however, Elsa breaks from the kiss and looks at Anna with concern. “I do, however, think we should talk about how willing you were to die just moments ago.”

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Risk Management

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“I’m telling you miss, we can’t insure someone like you if your accident rate exceeds the statistical risk limit our company is willing to accept,” he explains, “should you wish to challenge this, you’d have to speak to the Underwriter.” 

The dramatic, sombre way he pronounces “Underwriter” might as well be “Undertaker.” Anna slouches in a waiting room chair, pondering what kind of demonic corporate entity awaits her once her number is called. She drags her feet past rows of identical cubicles filled with elderly folk quarrelling over pre-existing health conditions. All at once the breath catches in her lungs as she reaches the cubicle; electric blue eyes staring into her soul. Her shoulder injury flares up. This can’t be right, can it? Anna vocalises, Cubicle A13? Her eyes fall upon the slim figure seated primly within. Braided blonde hair with nary a strand out of place. Dark-rimmed glasses. Pressed dark suit just hiding the slight curve of her bosom behind a white blouse. Anna suddenly feels extremely underdressed in her cargo pants and polo-shirt and chuffed work boots. 

“Yes ma’am, this is cubicle A13,” A deadpan voice answers. God, her lips don’t even so much as move. 

She reads the nameplate on the Underwriter’s desk. Elsa Williams. Black lettering on silver. Desk devoid of everything besides a calculator and a ruler. Black mechanical keyboard and mouse. No family pictures. No plants. Nothing. Anna feels like she’s intruding on her austere desk once she upends a stack of creased and crumpled insurance documents. Together with years of workmen’s compensation claims. 

Slim fingers reach across the pile. No ring either. Elsa takes a moment to leaf through her documents. 

“It looks like you’ve quite the talent for getting yourself hurt, Ms Miller,” Elsa remarks, “why’re you filing these claims on your own?” 

Anna swallows as those blue eyes steal the answer right from her lips. 

“Because it’s-it’s my company,” Anna answers, “I’m a private contractor.” 

The pile of documents slides back towards Anna - right as Elsa gets out of her chair and reaches for the top of a larger-than-life filing cabinet. Despite her height and high heels, she still struggles to reach a binder. Anna finds her eyes drifting towards the delicate firmness of her Underwriter’s butt in those slim-fitting-

Oh would you stop it, you perv! Anna catches herself. Her eyes flit away, but it's too late. Elsa’s sitting across from her, giving her the side-eye right before flipping to a page marked Actuarial Tables for Personal Injury Claims: Construction Industry, Age adjusted. She wastes no time running her ruler down the tabular maze of percentages in two-point font. Followed by a few quick taps on the calculator. 

“Unfortunately, we have to increase all your premiums by 300%,” Elsa announces. 

The news sends Anna slumping back. Now she understands why Elsa’s called the Undertaker. 

“Y-you can’t!” Anna protests, “This w-would-” 

“Put you in the red?” Elsa flashes a P/L sheet from her income statements. 

A hoarse, gurgling noise sputters from Anna’s throat, before she spews it out. 

“Yes!” 

Elsa’s ice-cold stare from earlier melts. She looks over her shoulder as if some beast is watching her. From her angle, Anna can see Elsa’s hand perched on a pedestal. She waits, nearly missing the faintest of whispers from the blonde woman’s lips. 

“I can help you,” Elsa whispers, gingerly peeling a form from the drawer, “if you fill this and take it upstairs, there’s a chance they’ll put you on another plan with a higher tolerance. It’s not guaranteed but it’s worked so far.” 

“Thank you!” Anna squeals, only for the ice-cold stare to return, this time with fingers on her lips. 

“You can thank me by keeping your voice down, and not mentioning my name.” 

Immediately, Anna trots down the corridor. Moments before reaching the elevator, she pauses. And turns back. Only to notice a blonde braid fluttering back within cubicle A13. 

**

Elsa hates phone calls with a passion. Perhaps it’s her home-schooled upbringing. Or the fact she’s never owned a phone until she was 21. The idea of a jarring ringtone cutting into someone’s day and straight-up demanding their attention appears rude to her. So, when the second batch of insurance forms arrives with an impossible filing deadline, Elsa hesitates to call Anna. But Anna isn’t like her, is she? Free-spirited and reckless, a phone call wouldn’t bother Anna the way it bothers her. 

No, she’d probably take a call while tethered to a ten-foot scaffold; phone perched between her shoulder and ears while she continues hammering nails or whatever she does. The thought makes Elsa shudder with fear. So does the simple act of pressing DIAL on her phone. 

As the ringtone chimes in her ear. The realisation sets in: she’s called hundreds of customers over her career. Not one of them has sent that same buzzing feeling beneath her skin. Or froze the words on her lips the moment their cheery voice answered. 

“Hello?” 

“Good Morning, Ms Miller. I’m calling from the insurance firm-” 

“Elsa?” 

Elsa jerks upright in her seat. She foolishly spends the next two seconds counting the days since Anna last saw her. A week. No. Two. She remembered your name. Your voice. The thought sends her head into a tailspin. It’s enough to make her struggle with her script. 

“We’ve some forms for you to sign for the new plan, but they’ve to be submitted by today to catch the fiscal year. Would you by any chance be home in an hour’s time?” 

“Well, under the terms of my claim, I am supposed to remain at home and recover, aren’t I? It’s not like I’m going to work with a busted shoulder anyway-” 

Elsa chuckles, “You actually read the fine print on your claim?” 

“I mean, yea - it has your name on it,” Anna explains, before a heavy pause falls upon the line, “I don’t want to get you in trouble, or anything.” 

Elsa stares straight at the wall. The slightest hint of warmth seeps beneath her cheeks. It tangles the words in her throat. 

“I’d assume you’re home then. I’ll drop by in an hour.” 

It takes Elsa way less than an hour. More like thirty minutes. Even while driving below the suburban speed limits. She spends the next half-hour tapping her fingers on the steering wheel and waiting for the exact minute to pull into the driveway of Anna’s modest, one-storey home. Elsa’s black Mercedes looks out of place next to Anna’s work truck, bristling with ladders and cables. But she knocks on her door anyway. A voice calls out from within. 

“Come in! The door’s unlocked.” 

Goddamn, is there any risk this girl doesn’t take?

The house is neater than she expected. Simple wooden furniture interspersed with potted plants. Only a shoe rack with pairs of neatly-lined safety boots confirms Anna’s occupation. The crime rate in the suburb immediately drops out of her mind when Anna emerges into the living room. Hair soaking wet. Falling in springy, copper tendrils upon her violet, floral bathrobe. “I’m terriblysorry,” Anna apologises, “I didn’t expect you’d come exactly on time and I barely had time to get dressed.” 

Now she’s really relieved she’d come on the dot. Otherwise she might’ve walked in on a wet and naked Anna. Maybe that’d be a good thing. 

Wait, why the hell would that be a good thing? 

Elsa mentally glues her jaw shut before it falls off her head. She struggles to piece together her next words, before retrieving the forms from her briefcase. Her trembling hands fumble with the stack and she drops it onto her pristine wooden floor. 

“Oh dear,” Anna exclaims, scrambling to help Elsa with the mess. 

No, no, no! Don’t come closer!

The intense strawberry fragrance from Anna’s shampoo hits her like a flying brick. She screws her eyes shut and resists the urge to pass out at the scent. It doesn’t help unravel the paper mess. She opens her eyes again to the sight of Anna’s barely-there neckline speckled with freckles. Cleavage sloping tantalisingly out of reach beneath her thin bathrobe. Heat rushes into Elsa’s face, and then to a single point below her navel.She manages to get the forms onto a coffee table. Flustered at the out-of-order pages, and even more aggravated when Anna signs on the dotted line without a hitch. 

“I thought you said you read the fine print.”

“Maybe I will, later,” Anna chirps, “you seem kinda anxious to get out of here so I don’t want to hold you up. Besides, I trust you.” 

Elsa stares at the redheaded girl blankly. Not even realising she’s waiting for a reply. Not realising this is the first bit of eye contact they’ve had today. Or how hard her chest heaves beneath her blouse. It feels so out-of-control for Elsa, and the sensation manifests as a rush of static through her face.

“A-are you that easily trusting?” 

“You’re an actuary aren’t you? All facts and numbers. Of course I’d trust someone like you.” 

“I’m your underwriter.” 

“Don’t you have to be an actuary before being an underwriter?” 

The sudden display of knowledge towards her supposedly obscure profession raises Elsa’s eyebrows, “D-did you know this beforehand? Or did you look it up?” 

Anna’s lips widen at the accusation, she hesitates on her next words, “Yes, actually. I looked it up after I met you.” 

“Why would you do that?” 

The second hand of Anna’s grandfather clock ticks by in thick, gluey silence. 

“Because I’m curious about you.” 

Elsa sucks in a deep breath. This time, she can add a throbbing chest to the list of ailments assailing her typically stoic demeanour. She tucks an invisible fringe behind her ear, before looking at Anna’s bare feet nestled in a woolly rug. 

“Well, I’m flattered Ms Miller-”

“Anna.” 

“I’m flattered, Anna,” Elsa concedes, “I admit I’m slightly curious about you too, like - why a young woman is working in construction. Or why you’ve so many pairs of boots.”

“It’s just something I followed my dad in - and the boots are for different safety requirements. Working with electricity, the outdoors, stuff like that.” 

“So you do know something about risk management.” 

The smile on Anna’s face fades, “Are you accusing me of being reckless, Ms Williams?” 

A stuttering mess leaves Elsa’s jaw, “Um, judging from your claims history, yes? And the fact you left your door unlocked before I came over.” 

Anna slaps her forehead, “Oh c’mon - cut me a break! You insurance people are all the same aren’t you? A head full of fears yet void of common sense - I bet you look both ways twice before crossing the road!”

The sudden change of Anna’s tone sends Elsa shifting backwards, “I didn’t drive here to have you denigrate my profession-” 

“What’re you going to do, adjust my premiums upwards?” 

“I might.” 

“Will that mean I’ll get to see you in your stuffy lil’ office cubicle more often?” 

Elsa’s eyes widen with ambivalence. There’s a burning heat behind her cheekbones, and her heart’s racing. No-one’s ever made her feel this way. All warm and flustered and with no way of getting the words that matter out of the tangled spaghetti in her head.

I just don't want to see you get hurt. 

A beeping alarm from her phone makes her flinch. She dreads looking down and realising her allotted time is up. 

“Tell you what,” Elsa passes her card to Anna, “shoot me a text anytime you need your risk assessments adjusted.” 

The girl’s still staring at the card as Elsa drives off, not knowing she’s pulled over out of sight. With her whitened, shaking knuckles gripping the wheel. Elsa makes one last glance in the mirror to ensure no one’s watching. Before butting her head on the wheel.

 You fucking ruined it! She was totally into you and you blew it!

**

Anna wipes the sheen of sweat off her forehead as she steps back into the air-conditioned comfort of her shop office. She tosses her helmet into a corner, and makes a beeline for Gerda’s desk. 

“Is the-” 

“Mail’s in, hun,” the admin replies, handing a stack to Anna - who fails spectacularly at keeping the glee beaming on her face, “are you expecting something? Because you’ve been asking-” 

“Just wanted to check the insurance.” 

“I’ve never seen you this excited about paying your bills, sweetie.” 

Me neither. 

Her hands vibrate with energy, and she nearly tears the bill in half while opening the envelope. She compares the bill with one from last year’s, slumping back in her chair when the amount is exactly the same. 

Thoughts race through her mind. It’s a win-win situation, isn’t it? She ponders. If her premiums were adjusted, she’d have a reason to call Elsa and give her an earful. Just to hear that gorgeous voice again. If they hadn’t changed, however…

Elsa’s card lays on the corner of her desk beside boxes of rivets and drywall screws. The only uncluttered spot untouched for the entire month since they last met. She picks up her phone. Heart in her throat. Flexing her fingers before texting Elsa. 

Hey I received the first bill and its unchanged. Thanks so much for doing this for me. Let me take you out for dinner sometime. 

And Anna’s unable to concentrate on anything for the next half an hour. She nearly electrocutes herself while fixing a drill. And misses Gerda’s questions more than once. When the chime on her phone lights up, she trips over her boots scrambling to pick it up. The reply punches her so hard in her gut, she might as well have taken another fall from the second storey. 

Thanks for the invitation, Anna. I’m sorry but I’ll have to decline this. 

“What?” Anna screeches. She nibbles on her nails, not caring they’re dirty from a day of work. Immediately, she recalls every single one of their sparse interactions. Perhaps she was rude to her at her home? Or she just wanted to keep a distance? Or, how about - she’s just not into you? 

A bubbling wave of hurt and panic sweeps through Anna’s face. She feels the tears coming, and chokes them back as hard as she can. When the next message from Elsa hits her inbox, she hesitates to open it - afraid it’ll send her spiralling into a crying fit. But some people are worth the risk, no? 

Unless, of course - you’re willing to split checks with me, because I’m not allowed to accept gifts from customers. 

“Oh my god!” Anna seethes. She nearly hurls her phone across the office. In her relief-induced catharsis, she almost misses Elsa’s next text. 

Even someone as pretty as you. 

Anna’s heart swells. She grips the phone with shaking fingers, poring over every single word. All at once she’s on a rollercoaster, being brought to giddy lows and highs from a straitlaced woman who knows nothing about the dangers of triple-texting. She ponders doing the same back to Elsa. Before she can, a Google calendar invite lands in her inbox. It’s a fancy restaurant. Too fancy for someone like her. But the prospect of seeing Elsa again is too good to pass up. She’d meet Elsa on the moon if she had to. 

That looks like a fancy place, do I have to wear a dress? 

This time, the next three replies hit her one after another without delay. 

Yes. 

If you want your premiums adjusted. 

(Downwards)

A grin breaks out on Anna’s face. Tongue between her lips, she starts typing back. 

Not fair. I thought you can’t accept gifts from customers. 

(It’s me)

(I am the gift) 

And Elsa’s attention must’ve been piqued, because the reply comes immediately. 

you’d be the best gift I’ve received all year. 

A moment ago, she was sure Elsa never wanted anything to do with her. Now, the thrill of the chase proves too much to resist, and she risks pushing Elsa’s boundaries further yet. 

idc you’ve to wear a dress to make it even. 

It has to be cute. No blazers. 

And Elsa’s last reply returns a trickle of sweat to her forehead. 

Make me.  

**

The address Elsa gave her had a parking lot full of Bentleys and Jaguars. Anna opts to wait in her truck, parked in the shadows away from the glitzy lights illuminating immaculately dressed dinner guests. Unaccustomed to being early, Anna waits until she sees Elsa arrive exactly on time. Stilettos and black dress looking like she’s arriving at the Oscars. Her blonde hair had been let down, swept over her shoulders as she drops her keys to the valet. Light, natural makeup accentuates her sharp features. The sight propels Anna forward like a bulldozer. 

“You trusted the valet with your fancy car,” Anna quips, drawing Elsa’s attention, “so much for being a risk-averse woman.” 

There’s a palpable pause as Elsa catches sight of Anna. She feels the Underwriter’s gaze roving up and down her dress. The slightest gap appears between Elsa’s scarlet-touched lips. A movement Anna catches onto. 

“How do I look?” Anna asks, doing a twirl, and fluttering the pleats of her emerald dress beneath the moonlight, “Good enough for adjusted rates?” 

Elsa’s eyes are still lost, somewhere between the curve of her waist and the hemline. It takes forever before they lock on her eyes. And another eternity before she manages to stammer, “I-I don’t know. We’ll see. You look fabulous tonight, Ms Miller.” 

“So do you!” Anna chirps, “I bet you must be dying to get out of that stuffy suit all the time.” 

She pauses. Her voice drops to a whisper beneath her breath, “No matter how sexy it makes you look.” 

Elsa playfully slaps her arm with a Chanel purse, “I heard that!” 

“No regrets saying it,” Anna retorts. But the blush on her cheeks tells otherwise. And so does her distracted gaze as they sit down for dinner, unopened menus before them as Elsa asks everything about her job and how she started. The subdued lighting and soft jazz music and cream table linens do well at blurring everything outside their leather-lined dining booth. The waiter finally gets their orders on the third round. Though, neither can remember what they ordered. Time sweeps by too quickly. Between morsels of fillet mignon and foie gras, Anna regales Elsa with stories of all the accidents and near-misses she’s suffered. 

“And if my father ever told me that I’d one day have to rappel down a sixty-foot facade just to fix some cladding, I’d have picked a different career. Maybe insurance.” 

Elsa chortles, nearly choking on her souffle, “Aren’t you afraid of the risks associated with this job?” 

“Things are different when we don’t have a choice - it’s all for a living.” 

“Aren’t you ever afraid of heights?” 

Anna pauses her chewing. 

“I was?” she piques, “I mean I still am - sorta. But I do it anyway. Even if I didn’t have to make a living, I’d still like to make my dad proud.” 

She can see Anna’s calloused fingers grasping her dessert fork. Toned forearms taut beneath the dim candlelight. The thought dawns upon Elsa long after she’s absent-mindedly paid the entire bill with her credit card. And she imagines the same apprehension written on Anna’s freckled face as she looks away. 

They’re from completely different worlds.

Still - a trace of longing laces Anna's voice at the parking lot, “I think I need to walk off the wine before driving home.” 

“I’m so sorry, I wouldn’t have ordered alcohol if I knew you were driving.” 

“Now, now - Ms Risk-averse, are you going to lecture me about the risks of drink-driving? Because I recall you showing up in a car-” 

“There’s a statistical threshold for this - I’m sure one glass of wine isn’t going to do us in.” 

Anna offers no retort aside from a gentle smile. And when Elsa offers the crook of her elbow to cross the road - Anna finds it impossible to resist latching onto the comfort of her arm. The moonlight gleams off the river’s still waters - and the evening dew’s fragrance is faint in the air. Along their walk, Anna makes out the glittering city lights in the distance, its silent glow echoing the nameless lives still toiling within. She wonders about the odds of reaching into one of those lights and finding someone like Elsa. This lady beside her. With all the poise and mannerisms of some far-off European Queen wrapped in the trappings of Corporate monotony.

They barely make it a hundred yards before Anna points out the renovated concert hall on the riverbank, “I worked on this project - took us nearly a year.” 

Elsa pauses. Her fingers curl from the memory - she looks down at her heels. 

“And I played there once,” Elsa whispers, “I was a guitarist in high school.” 

The admission perks Anna’s curiosity, “You were? W-what made you choose a career in insurance?” 

“You can guess,” Elsa shakes her head, “My parents told me it was the safe thing to do. I was good at maths. It had a proven career path with the least risk. I could play guitar on the side - and I still do.” 

Anna frowns and crosses her arms. There’s a silent melancholy that drapes Elsa. For some reason, it raises a wave of heat that bristles Anna’s skin, and she knows it’s not the wine. 

“Do you know what’s the deadliest job in America?” Anna asks. 

The out-of-nowhere question raises Elsa’s eyebrows, but she replies without a hitch, “Forestry loggers.” 

“No - it’s the President of the United States,” Anna replies, looking Elsa dead in the eyes, “four deaths and four assassinations out of 44. Pretty much a one-in-seven chance of dying.” 

“Well, if you put it that way-” 

“Somehow this doesn’t stop people fighting tooth-and-nail for the job every four years.” 

Elsa doesn’t even realise they’ve stopped pacing the pavement, and for a moment - all the statistics in the world fades from her mind, supplanted by the intensity of Anna’s eyes beneath the dim streetlights. 

“My point is,” Anna’s lips purse into a line, “Some things in life can’t be boiled down to risk. Or a percentage. Some things in life just have to be done - no matter what the cost is.” 

She can feel Elsa’s arm going stiff. The woman’s gaze flung far off into the distance. There’s nothing else Anna could say which’d make it better. There’s a world of words she could say that’d sure as hell make it worse. So, they head back. They spend the entire walk back to the parking lot in deafening silence. Anna doesn’t even have to turn to know Elsa’s been staring at her the whole time. She doesn’t have to look into her eyes to see the thoughts churning around her head. Still, she leans against her work truck, not caring about the rust soiling her green dress. 

“Will I see you again?” Anna asks, reaching into the glovebox and passing her own name card to Elsa, “Or do I have to get myself injured?” 

The valet calls Elsa’s name from afar. She bites down on her lip as she takes Anna’s card. There’s an invisible string still tethering her chest to the girl before her, but she snaps it with an imperceptible shake of her head. Elsa extends her hand, “You’ve been a pleasant company, Ms Miller.” 

They soak in the warmth of each other’s touch for the last time. Slender fingers and calloused palms. 

Neither wanting this night to end. 

And neither wanting to let go. 

**

None of the half-dozen songs Elsa composes and strums to herself over the next month can rid her mind of Anna’s smile. Her desk is more cluttered than usual, a single name card adorning its austere desolation: ANNA MILLER - DIRECTOR, MILLER ENGINEERING & CONSTRUCTION. 

She would’ve framed it up if she could. Or just texted Anna back. 

Perhaps it would’ve stopped the accident claim from landing on Elsa’s desk with Anna’s name printed at the top. Courtesy of Mercylight Trauma Centre. 

“Oh no,” Elsa slumps into her chair, inevitable dread gnawing away at her, “no, no, no-” 

Fumbling fingers dial Anna’s number. No answer. Neither is the frantic text of: Ms Miller, I’ve received an accident claim with your name on it. Please let me know you’re alright. 

She doesn’t so much as think before getting out of her cubicle and buying the most expensive bouquet of flowers downstairs. Scribbling what she truly felt into a card and breaking all the speed limits on the way to the hospital. Freaking texting and driving when Anna doesn't answer her calls. 

plz anna plzplzplx tell me ur ok :( Im freakin out rn

When she reaches, it only takes a few minutes of searching before she finds Anna in the ER corridor. Arms folded as she peers within a ward. 

She’s fine. She’s standing right there. Not maimed or burnt alive or electrocuted like any of the dozen harrowing scenarios that plagued her mind. 

The sight freezes Elsa in place, a bouquet of Carnations dangling from her hand. Anna spots the primly dressed woman in a dark suit amongst the bustle of white-frocked nurses moving about in a blur, and trots over. Drawn to the woman like a magnet. 

“Elsa?” Anna asks, brushing her elbow, “What’re you doing here?”

It’d been only a month, but the girl’s delicate features sends a rush of warmth into her face - like the first day they met. Her trembling lips struggle to piece a reply. 

“I received a claim from you,” Elsa answers, “and I came over.” 

Anna ponders, before she turns and points at the ward, “An employee of mine got injured. Some asshole drove a JCB into him. He’s fine though, will be out tomorrow.” 

“Oh.” 

Anna looks at the flowers. The card’s half-propped open between flower petals, neat handwriting visible beneath the glaring hospital lights. 

I JUST DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU GET HURT. 

PLEASE GET WELL SOON

“D-did you think I was injured?” Anna asks. 

Elsa slams a hand against her forehead, “I’m such a fucking idiot aren’t I?”

The rare display of emotion sends Anna surging forward. 

“No, no, no,” Anna whispers, wrapping her arms around her. Not caring that she smells like sawdust and motor oil. Or that they’re standing in the middle of a busy hospital corridor. The flowers drop to a chair as Elsa breathes in every last trace of this girl’s presence. 

“You’re here in the middle of a work day,” Anna asks, “What’d you tell your colleagues? That you’re visiting a customer?” 

Elsa shakes her head, “A loved one.” 

Rough, dirty fingers thread through hers. 

“And what if they caught you lying?” 

“I wasn’t lying.” 

 Anna smiles, and looks down at her boots. Perched a miniscule distance from Elsa’s Louboutins. 

“Is this you saying that you love me?” 

Once again, Anna’s question catches her off guard. Her brain’s still frazzled from the drive, from seeing Anna uninjured. From everything. She struggles with a reply. 

“Look, Anna - I-I don’t know. I j-just wanted to make sure-” 

A single finger on Elsa’s lips cuts her off, “Stop.” 

“You’ve already broken so many rules coming here,” Anna’s voice grows heavy, “I’m not going to place any more rules on you.” 

Elsa ruffles a hand through her hair. Some strands come out of place, but she doesn’t even care anymore. 

“Just forget everything for a moment,” Anna whispers, before her eyes flutter shut, “pretend you’re not an underwriter. I don’t work in construction. And it’s just the two of us. Tell me what you really feel.”

She waits there with closed eyes, unsure of what Elsa’s next words will be. Instead of a stuttering sentence, Anna feels the faintest of breaths upon her lips. Before it melts into a gentle kiss. Her mind goes blank for a moment. Her face numb with pleasure. Right before she cradles Elsa’s jaw and kisses her back. 

There’s an audible gasp when they part. The scent of Elsa’s Dior perfume gives way to antiseptic as reality swims back around them.

Anna’s eyes are still heavy-lidded. Despite the verbose chattering Elsa’s adored her for, there’s only one word left on her lips. Like the entire English lexicon had been stolen from her by a single kiss. 

“Why?” 

This time, there’s barely a trace of hesitation behind Elsa’s words, “Because I can’t risk living the rest of my life without knowing what that felt like.” 

Less than half an hour later, she felt her luck finally turning around when she found herself making out with some woman in the stairwell. Neither of them had exchanged a single word with each other. No hello's, no asking for names, no flirtatious pregaming. All it took was to lock eyes underneath their lacy masks to understand what the other wanted. And then Anna had to ruin the moment by saying, "Let me see you."

The mystery woman obliged, and the makeout session abruptly stopped. Five years was not enough for her to forget the face of the woman who broke her heart.

That should have been the end of things. Anna was content with repressing this mistake until she could convince herself it never happened. But then, she got a text from the woman with the gold Venetian mask asking if they could talk about what happened. One talk, thirty minutes, and Anna could pick the place.

Instead of saying no, she said Starbucks.

Seeing her in the light, Anna could better pick up on the differences in Elsa's appearance. Her hair was a few shades lighter (almost bordering on silver) and though she still held some softness in her eyes, the developing rings underneath them presented a growing tiredness. A crisp button-up and slacks, along with a more refined posture, also helped to add more to the mystery of the woman in her ex's body.

"You look different."

Anna gawks like a dying fish as Elsa takes that conversation starter away from her.

"The braided crown is a nice touch," Elsa continues, tracing a line across her own hair with her finger. "I like it."

Wait, a compliment? Is she allowed to do that? It seems innocent enough, and saying thanks could keep this talk on a good track. "Well yeah, people tend to look different when you haven't seen them in five years."

Elsa frowns, exhibiting the creases in her skin near her cheeks. "I know that…"

Ah, there it is. Once again, Anna needs to do damage control because Elsa took something she said too seriously. She touches her braid, "I started doing this after a stylist did it for me once in Arendelle."

Elsa tilts her head, "Which stylist did you go to?"

"That place downtown called Poised," she answers. "My stylist was Clara, if that name rings a bell."

"It does," Elsa remarks. "She used to do my hair too." Goddamn it, can they have one thing to not have in common? Well, at least Elsa's not spiraling down her shame spiral anymore.

However, this does bring up a less painful and more amusing memory. "Was she the one who told you that you'd look good with a bob?" Anna asks.

Elsa's eyes flutter closed as she lets out a long sigh, "Yes, she was."

Anna leans back in her chair, twirling the straw in her iced mocha. "That was a weird couple of months."

Elsa takes a sip out of her cup of chai latte– at least they don't have the same coffee order. "I remember you changed my name on your phone during that time. What was it again? F.A.B.?"

Anna snorts, "Yeah, it stood for 'Fuck Ass Bob'."

Elsa frowns, "Still hurtful."

"Still accurate." Anna pulls her straw out of her cup to point to Elsa with it, but a few stray drops of mocha end up coming along for the ride. Some of them end up on Elsa's face and she blinks them away like a surprised dog.

If you'd told Anna a few years ago that she'd not only reunite with the woman who broke her heart but that they'd also share a laugh together, she'd ask who you are and what you were doing in her apartment. But that's what's happening right now, and it's…scary. It's scary how natural this still feels– how timeless this interaction is. Has it really been five years since she's heard this once personal melody?

She wishes that…no. She can't think that.

The laughter dies down, and Anna's not sure how else to continue the conversation without finally addressing the elephant in the half-full Starbucks. So, she lets Elsa do it.

A decision she regrets immediately.

Elsa leans forward after what she believes to be a comfortable amount of time, hands folded on the table. "Anna I'm just going to come right out and say it. I want to get back together again."

Anna blinks, but there are no amount of blinks in the world to turn this into just another bad dream. "Wait…what?"

"I do," Elsa affirms. She taps her fingers against her cup. "The past five years have been hell for me, and I've learned and grown so much, and I'm sure you have too." The beginnings of a smile can be seen ghosting across her lips as if she's here and somewhere else at the same time. "And now that we're living in the same city again, and we just happened to find each other in the same nightclub on the same night, and we can still have that same connection, it's almost like…"

Don't say it.

"Fate."

Ah fuck.

She bites her lip, and her eyes widen in that way that Anna's succumbed to hundreds of times. "I know I'm asking a lot from you, but can you honestly say that there's nothing between us anymore? Surely, you must have felt something that night."

The silence that punctuates this hopeful moment is unlike anything Anna's felt before– and it's being wasted at a goddamn coffee chain. For a moment, she wants to succumb to those eyes, and the smile that's fully grown on a still beautiful face. She wants things to be easy and to let go of the past. But she can't forget, she told herself she wouldn't forget.

Anna sits up and crosses her arms, looking down at the cold, marble table. "Elsa, do you remember why we broke up in the first place?"

No answer, but the smile is already starting to fade.

"Because I do. I still remember because it was the worst– worst– day of my life." Anna looks up at the pretentious hanging lights. "You broke up with me because you said you didn't know who you were anymore. That you 'lost yourself' in the relationship and forgot what it meant to be your own person. I didn't know any of this, Elsa, until you decided to end things." The anger from a past already buried is making her heart race and her blood boil. Exactly what she didn't want. "I-I was blindsided! And even after I said I would support you, and help you figure your own shit out, do you remember what you told me?"

"Anna.."

"You told me it was too late." Anna scoffs and throws her hands up, eyeing down the pained figure of her ex-girlfriend. When she speaks again, she tries to maintain the same ruthlessness, but a voice crack takes all of that away. "And now you're back. Five years later. Five years later, and you're telling me that now you're ready for this?" Pause. Silence. Outburst. "Why couldn't you be ready then?!"

"Don't you think I wanted to be?" Elsa finally replies. "I felt so terrible for what I did to you, Anna, because you were giving me everything. Your whole, authentic self. And I was giving you something I didn't think I was ready for. That's not what you deserved."

Anna shakes her head, "You don't get to tell me what I deserve. Back then, I was never thinking about what I deserved, I was just happy! I was so happy to be with someone that cared for me, wanted me, loved me. That's all I ever wanted from you, Elsa. And you…" She takes a sharp breath, "I don't even know what you wanted."

Elsa's voice softens, it's unclear whether that's because she refuses to yell or because she, too, is realizing that they're still in public. "Anna, you were all I wanted. And that terrified me. Not because of anything you did, but because I got too into my own way. I started asking myself who I was without you, and I didn't have an answer."

Anna's lips tighten, and she makes the mistake of looking away from their table. The handful of bystanders watching this car accident seem either annoyed or concerned. A prickling heat begins spreading across the back of her neck. When her focus returns to Elsa, it's almost a relief. "So, you were afraid because you were too invested in our relationship?"

Elsa opens her mouth to respond, hesitates, and then says, "I guess so."

"You realize how ridiculous that sounds, right?"

"Now I do."

"Oh, well hey at least you know now. And that's what matters." Her stomach churns from her pettiness (and the eyes). But it's not like she started this, right? She's not in the wrong here. Elsa's the one that…that…why can't she say it?

"Anna…"

"Stop."

Elsa flinches, "Stop what?"

"Stop saying my name like that. Stop pretending that you care about me. Stop…stop being you!"

"I don't know what else to be. But…I can try. Just tell me what you want me to be, Anna." Finally, she sees something new in Elsa's eyes. Something different. A good different– er, difference? It's…she doesn't know. It's a level of vulnerability she's never seen from Elsa before: a naked honesty, a bearing of a part of her soul she's never shown anyone before.

It makes her think that maybe Elsa's telling the truth.

"I don't want you to be anything," Anna answers. Because if Elsa is telling the truth, then so can she. "I just want…"

"Yes?"

But therein lies the problem: Anna hates the truth. The truth is terrifying, raw, and once it's out there, she can't take it back. She looks at Elsa again, and the changes she once saw aren't as visible anymore. "I want to get out of here."

Anna's chair scrapes against the tile as she stands up. She leaves her drink on the table and feels Elsa turn around and reach out to her. "Wait. Anna, please stay, we need to–"

"Make me."

She slams the door on the way out. Or, at least, she would have if it weren't for that stupid thingie on the top of the door that makes it close super slowly. And as Anna barely makes an effort to move out of the way of a couple going inside, and she stuffs her hands into the pockets of her almost-too-loose jeans, and she grits her teeth to stop a sneeze because of course they had to have this talk in the middle of fucking spring, she thinks to herself: what now?

There's no way she's going back inside, but going back to her apartment with half of her stuff still in boxes sounds exhausting and humiliating. The only places she knows in this town so far are this cursed place and the goddamn nightclub, so there's nowhere she can go to clear her head. And though the thought of going back home is too pathetic to even be an option.

Paralyzed by indecision, Anna sits on the curb, hoping the afternoon sun will either bake her into a burnt pile of nothing or a car will take pity and 'accidentally' back into her.

"Stupid," she says while curling into herself. "You're so stupid."

This isn't the first time Anna's shut herself out from the world. She did it in elementary school when she wasn't picked to play kickball with other kids at recess, she did it as a teenager when her family moved around a lot because of her dad's job, and most recently she did it after the funeral for her parents. But this is the first time she's done this where it felt like the world didn't care.

Footsteps came and went, people stepped around her without a single comment. She was nothing more than an obstacle: both in the way and all alone.

But after some time, a pair of footsteps come her way and stop rather than go around. Anna hears the shuffling of feet, smells the blessed aroma of berries, and feels an ice cold liquid tap against her knee.

"You left this inside. I thought you'd want it."

Anna turns to her left, and for a second she's back in the tenth grade, curled up against her locker, and gawking at the blonde who's just asked for her name. "I didn't want it back," she says, taking a sip before placing the drink on the ground."

Elsa's sad smile is briefly covered as she sips her own unfinished drink. "I could throw it away if you want."

"No," Anna demands. The caffeine is surprisingly helping.

"Then I won't."

"Good."

Elsa doesn't say anything else after that. She stays on the sidewalk, sipping her latte and letting time pass. Other customers come and go, sidestepping the duo and pumping exhaust fumes into their faces. When she's out of coffee and tired of having a silent companion, Anna finally asks. "Why are you still here?"

She answers her question with one of her own. "Remember during tenth grade when we had that part-time job at Oaken's?"

Anna fully turns her head, pressing her cheek against her knees and raising an eyebrow. "How could I forget? We almost died in that grease fire."

"Do you remember how we almost died?"

"Yeah, I ran back in to get the safety deposit box so Oaken wouldn't lose all of his savings." Anna pouts, "Those aren't fun memories. Why are you–"

Elsa stops her with a hand on her knee. To her credit, she does quickly apologize and let go. "I...barely knew you back then; we'd only become friends maybe a month before. But when I saw you run back into that diner, I didn't even think twice about going in to help you."

Anna remembers that moment. She also remembers almost ditching her stupid idea, terrified that Elsa would get hurt.

Yet here they are, still alive, and Elsa looks as unbothered as she did that night. "When everything finally calmed down, I realized I had just followed you into fire. Without question, without regrets." Elsa looks at the ground and takes a breath. "And if given the choice, I would do it again and again and again."

Anna tries to swallow the lump in her throat to no avail. "Elsa..." Ugh, and now she's got her doing the name thing too.

Elsa looks at her with undeniable sincerity, "Anna, you're still the person I'd walk into fire for, whether we're together or not. I won't ask you to get back together again, but I still want you in my life, and I want to get to know who you are now."

Anna lets go of her legs and rests her hands in her lap. Just an hour ago, Elsa being back in her life sounded like the worst possible thing. But now?

She bites her lip, "This could end badly, you know."

"I'm not sure how."

"Maybe you won't end up liking who I am now," Anna confesses. "Or maybe we just end up making the same mistakes again. Or maybe…we never get back together." Her chest tightens as those last words slip out of her mouth.

Gerda eyes her up and down. Golden FBI badge gleams in the moonlight. Holstered gun dangles within her trenchcoat. She takes another drag on the cigarette, before blowing the nicotine-laced smoke straight at Elsa. 

“Do you see a warrant on me?” Gerda answers, gruff voice heavy like Elsa’s heart. 

Elsa folds her arms against the wind. 

“You’re lucky the charges didn’t stick,” Gerda stubs out the rest of her cigarette, “But you know how much I love you; I made a special trip down here to give you a warning.” 

“Oh Christ, spare me,” Elsa rolls her eyes. She jerks backward as Gerda grabs her collar. 

“You pull any of that fucking shit again and I’m sending you away for a long, long time,” Gerda seethes, tobacco-scented breath filling her nostrils. 

Elsa turns away, writhing beneath the shorter woman’s grasp. Her heart contracts when she turns and sees the narrowing, wrinkly eyes - and waits for the next words which will undoubtedly haunt her dreams. 

“Both you and your sister.” 

A metallic taste floods her mouth. She swats away Gerda’s hand, and straightens her coat, “Alright, alright - I got the message.” 

The car door slams shut, booming through the silent, deserted car park. Gerda peers through lowered tinted windows. 

“But since I’m so nice, I’m not leaving you with nothing,” Gerda fishes around her purse, before tossing a phone at Elsa, “I took this the last time I searched you.” 

Elsa turns on the iPhone, barely 5% battery remaining. Did it hurt her to charge it first? 

“That’s it?” Elsa asks, crouching beside the window, “no cigarettes?” 

“Tough love, kid,” Gerda sneers, putting the car into drive, “Gotta learn to survive in the real world now!” 

“How about a ride to the train station?” 

Squealing tires answer her question.  

She looks at her phone. 

And immediately scrolls to a single name in the contacts - seconds before the battery runs out. 

**

The beats are low, and so are the red neon lights. Anna stands alone on stage, platform heels and stiff posture putting her level with a microphone. She croons a soft melody, not that any of the lounge’s patrons are paying attention to her song: 

Tear it up, tear it down Gettin' lost in the sound of our hearts beatin' Take me here, take me now Gettin' lost in a crowd with you

She keeps her eyes fixed between the exit sign and a bouncer. Completely missing the blonde woman tucked in a corner. Legs crossed. Bourbon and coke. Tailored pantsuit. Between manicured fingers, the lady tips her smoking cigar once Anna notices. Her presence spreads a wide-toothed grin on Anna’s face, and she nearly mistimes the song’s cue. Still, Anna clutches the microphone and belts the chorus like her life depends on it. 

You don't even have to try No other lips can make me cry But there is something 'bout the way you look Something from my heart you took tonight

She shuts her eyes and puts her lungs into it. The nominally indignant crowd applauds their appreciation. But when her eyes open, that woman’s gone. The only remnant of her presence written on a twenty-dollar bill the bouncer slides into her hand. Black Sharpie ink adorns Jackson’s face. 

GREAT SONG! DINNER ON ME. PORTILLO’S. 

**

Elsa’s sandwich is on the verge of going cold as she waits for Anna. Her suede heels tap the floors before she notices a note printed across her grease-smeared receipt. 

YOUR SERVER TODAY IS: ANNA! SHE’S AT THE OVERPASS!

Elsa curses. Before motioning for a server to bag her meal. 

It’s nearly ten out. The passing freight trucks raise goosebumps on her skin. But Anna’s still sitting on the concrete parapet, bare feet dangling over the traffic. 

“Did you really have to do that?” Elsa calls out over the noise, “I could’ve thrown away the receipt-” 

Anna’s moonlit blue eyes glimmer as they turn to Elsa. There’s a delicate smile behind the plastic straw. Fragile like glass. The wind sweeps it off her face and Anna looks away. 

“Not my fault they left their register on the wifi,” Anna mumbles. 

“Why’re you singing in a lounge anyway?” 

“Making use of my other talent,” Anna sips her milkshake and looks down at the trucks, “it’s hard making a living. Twice as hard if it's an honest one.” 

“Look, I-” 

“How’d you get in anyway? That lounge is invite-only, and they ain’t giving them out like candy.” 

A snicker, Elsa stuffs her hands in her pockets, “Well y’know, no one told me it was-” 

She lets her voice trail away into the noise. A mannerism Anna recognises. That way of hiding the litany of thieves’ tricks she’d never want to reveal. Same ol’ Elsa. 

Anna pats the bare concrete next to her. She looks over the edge, shuddering back when a truck sends her blonde hair fluttering, “Aren’t you afraid of falling off?” 

“Pfft, I’ve risked far more for far less.” 

Her eyes water at the sixteen-foot drop, which might as well be sixty. Fuck it. 

Elsa swallows back, before shutting her eyes and flinging her legs over. Her heart lurches as she catches the concrete beneath her hips - and she opens her eyes to Anna’s smile. 

“See? Hardly a pickle.” 

Her hands give off a noticeable tremble as she retrieves a packet of fries. The golden-brown potatoes glow under the moonlight, and the night breeze wafts her sandwich’s roast beef scent to Anna; above the stench of exhaust fumes. It doesn’t go unnoticed. 

“What’s this I hear about you and the Senator?” 

Anna rolls her eyes, “Oh Jesus, I haven’t seen you for months and this is the first thing you bring up? How on earth did you even find out? Get off my back-” 

“I am your elder sister-” 

“It’s still none of your business what I do for money!” 

“It is my business how you earn it!” Elsa shoots back, “D-do you, h-have you slept with him?”

Anna flashes a glare at Elsa, “No! And why would it matter to you anyway?” 

Elsa’s voice drops to a whisper, barely audible above the rumbling traffic, “It does.” 

The walls close in on Anna’s head. Nights at the lounge. Money. Debt. Sitting on the lap of a high-powered man who just wanted a young, warm body to touch. Behind that all, a faint shimmer of hope behind Elsa’s two words. 

A truck horn blares. Elsa looks away. When she looks down again, half her fries are missing - and Anna isn’t even chewing. 

“Oh my god, do you always have to do that?” 

The repressed longing for Elsa’s company manifests as a big grin, “Yes.” 

“Well, stop stealing my fries, you have your own.” 

“Make me.” 

“Fine.” 

Elsa puts her fries away out of Anna’s reach, and pulls out a cellphone. 

“So are you going to tell me what the next gig is?” Anna grumbles, “So I can say no, and move on with my sad life without you?” 

“I came here specifically to see you, Anna. And you know it absolutely breaks my heart hearing you talk like this, right?” 

Anna’s ears perk at the tilt in the words: break my heart. 

“It’s true?” Anna’s voice rises, “The heartbreak stone? It’s coming here?” 

“In a week,” Elsa scrolls through messages, before a photo flashes on the screen. 

“Oh Christ,” Anna quips, lifting the phone to her eyes, “that thing is huge!”

A polished pink diamond sits beneath showroom lights. As large as an acorn. A massive inclusion slices through its glittering, jagged interior, giving its moniker. Without asking, Anna hits back on the photo, revealing a series of exchanges between a contact named Kristoff.

Elsa snatches back her phone, “Why do you always have to snoop around?”

“Well, I'd have to know what I'm getting myself into, don't I?” Anna retorts, voice breaking, “Did you strike a deal with him to pay off my debt or what?”

“It’s not-”

Anna growls at Elsa, “I don't need you to baby me all the fucking time!”

At once, the girl flings her head away. Staring down at the traffic. She stops swinging her feet. Elsa sees her knuckles gripping the edge. Elsa’s chest aches at her sister's silence. At her trembling lips pursed in line. At the million burdens she has to carry because of her. She scoots over, placing an arm around her shoulder, and holding her close. 

“This isn't just about you,” Elsa’s voice softens, “this is about us. A chance to get away from it all.”

Anna sighs, soaking in the comfort of her sister’s embrace. There's a tear threatening to spill somewhere - but she holds it in for the sake of us. Even if they’ve only been apart for three months. It’s still too long for anything. Even crying. 

“Sorry, I wouldn't do this for all the money in the world,” Anna apologises, before sucking in a deep breath, “but I'd do it for a person.”

Elsa’s breath hitches at the thought of asking her for too much. She kisses her strawberry-scented hair, pausing before breathing “Who?” into her ears.

Anna holds back a sob. 

“I’d do it for the girl who brought me to Coney Island for ice cream. The sister who taught me how to cycle. Who gave me my first diamond. My first kiss. I’d do it just to bring her back.” 

Trembling lips purse in a line. There’s a heavy, silent pause as Elsa forces herself not to remember those days, “You still haven’t told me who.” 

“I just stole all her remaining fries.” 

An empty cardboard sleeve looks back at Elsa. The wind blows it away.

“Goddammit, Anna.”

**

“Y’know, I checked the insurance on the diamond - and it’s made out to Hans Andersen.” 

Elsa looks up from a take-out box of peanut noodles. 

“And?” 

“He’s going to lose a hell lot of money,” Anna drops a sheaf of documents on her apartment’s dining table, “what do you have against Hans?” 

A shrug. She wipes her lips, pausing to choose her next words, “I don’t know, lying, cheating, looting colonial possessions, dealing in conflict diamonds. Do you have anything against Hans?”

Anna rakes a hand through her hair, “God it's been years since that bastard - never mind.”

“If you think about it, he’s the person we’d harm the least, just one less conflict mineral in his museum of trophies.”

“We’re thieves, Elsa - that doesn't make us any better than him.”

Elsa nearly chokes on her green tea, “Did three months of an honest living make you reconsider the ethics of your profession?”

The hesitation after her question makes Elsa look up. Her sister’s hand perches close to her noodles, half-eaten but still unstolen. A flutter rushes through her skin when Anna places a hand on hers. 

“I-I just want to be sure you're not doing this to get even.”

I'm doing this for us. 

“I would've stolen every single worthless artefact from his museum for what he did to you. But not this diamond. This one's for us.”

“Fair enough.” 

Elsa looks down at her food, just to make sure it's still there. A floorplan of the mall’s Cartier showroom shows up on her iPad. Short green arrows denote their ingress route, with a long dotted red one showing the way out. 

“Have you figured out how to get through the crossbarred skylight and the sixty-foot drop?” Anna asks.

“Nope - that's why you're doing that part. I'm not freaking going down that height.”

Anna groans, “How about the main shutters?”

“Remote accessed, so nope-”

“How about the heat detection cameras?”

“Still no idea.”

“The diamond’s only on display tomorrow before it's shipped off to Hans forever and we still haven't figured any of this shit out.”

“They can't foil our plan if there's none to begin with,” Elsa sneers. 

“You're just leading me on again aren't you?” Anna chortles, fuzzing up Elsa’s braid, “you haven't changed one bit.”

The sudden closeness sends a rush of warmth into Elsa’s face. She looks down at her sister's eyes, soft beneath the dim lights. 

“Prison wouldn't change me, Anna,” Elsa whispers, “not when you're the only person on my mind in there.”

“Oh god, don't say stuff like this,” Anna brushes her knuckles over her cheeks, “you're making it hard not to fall in love with you again.”

It's only a moment of weakness that Elsa allows this affectionate gesture to go unchecked. And it's enough for Anna to take advantage, clambering on the chair and straddling her sister's hips. Red hair dangling over her face. Her heart throbs against Anna’s flattened palm pressing her back into the chair. 

“Kiss me,” Elsa pleads, helpless beneath her sister's proximity.

Anna smirks, “Not until this is over.”

“But what if we fail this job?”

“Didn’t you always wonder if we were meant to be together?” Anna teases, “Guess this gig would tell us - once and for all.”

**

Despite the absolute lack of a plan, everything still falls off the rails the minute they’re inside the mall. The midnight security crew lies unconscious and hog-tied on the control room floor, gassed to the gills with nitrous. The security system fails to respond to Anna’s pre-scripted malware. Each second ticks closer to the patrol sweep’s return. 

“They patched the zero-day vulnerability,” Anna swats away the residual stench of anaesthetic gas, terminal screen glowing on her face, “this is going to be the dirtiest hack in history-” 

On the CCTV screens, Elsa eyes the armed guards roaming the mall, “No idea what you said, how long is it going to take?” 

“Too long,” Anna’s brows furrow as her fingers clatter across the keyboard, “we have to swap.” 

A bag of breaking tools slides across to Elsa, “Oh, no - you’re not expecting me to get up there-” 

A groan answers her plea. Anna’s completely lost in the terminal, eyes glazed over as she re-scripts an attack. Without another word, Elsa trudges outside the mall. Into the pitch-dark cold like her boots were made of lead. She reaches the access ladder, looking up the wall with hair bristling on her neck. 

Oh Anna, the things I do for you. 

The first few rungs are fine, but every step after that contracts her lungs further still. Vice-grip rattling the steel ladder. Neck frozen upwards in case she accidentally looks down. Sweat soaks her dark shirt despite the icy wind. She grits her teeth, and seethes into the radio, “I hope you’re not passed out or anything because I am-” 

“You’re doing great, almost at the top, I can see you.” 

Something about Anna’s voice spurs Elsa over the last few rungs. The rooftop gravel crunches beneath her boots. Wind whistles in her ears. Air so thin it cuts her cheeks like  a blade. She reaches the skylight, and makes short work of the iron bars with an acetylene torch. Spewing sparks and flames adding to the turmoil within her soul at what’s to come next. 

“Are you done with the access? Because I’m about to hurl my ass down this hole.” 

“Someone sounds scared shitless-” 

“I’m not scared,” Elsa argues before the bars give way and the window shatters. A harrowing, vertical expanse of air confronts Elsa. She lurches backward, heart in her throat. Heaving. 

“Ok, fuck this, I’m scared.” 

A snicker on the radio, “Remember how we were kids and I dared you to go on the rollercoaster and you kept your eyes shut the entire ride?” 

Anna’s voice steadies her heartbeat. 

“It was different,” Elsa whispers back, “you held my hand.” 

“Who says I’m not holding your hand now?” 

Elsa hitches her harness to the window frame. In the inky black, cavernous jaws of darkness, she nearly makes out the glittering Cartier diamond collection, with a ten-million-dollar stone nestled somewhere within. She sucks in a breath and screws her eyes shut. 

“Hold tighter,” Elsa pleads, before counting down in her head. Three, two, one. 

She stumbles in. The cord goes taut, ripping out every trace of air from her lungs. Air billows through her blonde hair as she plummets like a brick. Blood fills her mouth. It's not until she slams into the carpeted gallery, that she realises she's bitten into her tongue to stop herself from screaming. Apart from the throbbing in her head and the burning pain in her back - Elsa frantically touches her limbs and discovers she’s…alive?

“I’m fine,” Elsa gasps. 

“Didn’t ask, I knew you’d make it-” 

A distant ringing noise sends Elsa scrambling to her feet. 

“I started a fire alarm elsewhere to buy you some time.” 

Elsa’s flashlight sweeps through the darkness. All that’s left in the central display case is an engraved plaque: 

Heartbreak Gem, 101.4c, Venetia, S.A., De Beers

And no diamond in sight. Anna’s voice returns, “CCTV recording shows they moved it to Safe E6, behind the curtains.” 

It’s slow work finding the safe, and even slower work breaking into it. The case-hardened steel resists her years of experience. She knows when to cut her losses. 

“I’m going hot,” Elsa whispers, laying a cordite detonator against the hinge, “ready the door.” 

“What!?”

It’s scarcely a countdown. Elsa ducks behind a wall. Three-two-one. The blast of fire and smoke deadens her hearing. Hundred-pound safe door flies across the gallery with a whump. 

Elsa ignores the ringing in her ears as the burglar alarm slices through the silence. Her hands steady amidst the red flashing lights. Gloved fingers pick through the debris of jewels and broken metal until they close around an acorn-sized velvet bag. There’s a hefty weight to it despite the size, and the pink hue gives off a luminescent glimmer. 

“Score’s with me,” Elsa shouts, passing her fingers over the stone, “the door!” 

Her boots make crunchcrunchcrunch noises through the shattered remnants of Cartier’s gallery as she ducks under the rumbling shutters. The jog back to Anna should take ten minutes. It feels like ten hours, even if she doesn’t have to dodge security cameras. Even if she has to break into the manual doors Anna can’t open for her. Her skin prickles when she hears guards shouting below. She runs so hard, her legs nearly give out when she catches up to Anna

Outside the control room, Anna’s sleet white and shaking, but she still has her arm around Elsa as she keels over to catch her breath. 

“Did you get it?” 

A glistening nugget of a diamond greets Anna’s eyes. Coated in flecks of Elsa’s sweat. An unseen, ethereal energy radiates from within its pink iridescence. A summation of everything it means for their future. For us. 

“Stop staring,” Elsa grunts, shoving the diamond into Anna’s hands, “let’s get out of here.” 

“Um, Elsa - I have some bad news,” Anna steps into a freight elevator and hits a button, “I tripped the police signal while hacking into the access console.” 

Elsa whirls around, eyes livid with shock, “What?” 

“It’s interlocked with the burglar alarm inside the showroom, I didn’t expect you’d trip that one too.” 

“Oh god, what does that even mean-” Elsa groans, clutching her head. Anna’s still staring at the diamond, its uncanny resemblance to a broken heart reflecting the apprehension burning through Elsa’s brain. 

“It means,” Anna says slowly, hardly a trace of emotion in her voice, or in her dead eyes, “there’s a 50/50 chance we’ll get confronted by armed police once this door opens.” 

“Are you serious?” 

“I had a feeling the risk was too great to even think about doing this job,” Anna looked down, “but if there was ever a chance in hell I’d get to be with you, to live a life away from all this bullshit. I knew I’d take it in a heartbeat.” 

“Anna-” 

“I’ll take the fall for this,” Anna turns away, diamond gripped tight in her fist, “so you don’t have to.” 

The word no leaves Elsa in one long scream as the elevator doors fly open and a dozen gun barrels confront them. Down! Down! The voices holler. 

“Sorry,” Anna whispers. She squeezes in one last hug, shaking with heartbreak and unfulfilled dreams. 

I guess we weren’t meant to be together. 

The urgency of her embrace drags a gasp from Elsa’s lungs, before a scream as Anna’s dragged to the ground. In that split second, as the diamond clatters across the steel decking, Elsa finally understands its moniker. Her chest aches as Anna’s manhandled into a van. Her sister's last furrowed glance still pleading for a life with her - before she's shut out forever. Elsa doesn’t even register the pain of being handcuffed, shoulders creaking as she’s hauled into another police van. Nor the officer’s deadpan voice. 

“Ma’am, you’re under arrest for suspicion of grand larceny. You have the right to-” 

“Oh shut up!” Elsa screams at him.  

“Fine.” 

The door slams, leaving Elsa alone with her heartbreak. Fat tears rolling off her cheek and splotching on the ground. It’s all a mistake, this life she’s chosen. And she’d dragged her sister into this, with no one to blame but herself. The van rumbles off, and she ponders breaking from the rear window. For what? They’d probably separate them forever. No chance of seeing Anna’s smile again. The thought torments Elsa’s soul more than any sentence a judge could pass on her. 

Lost in her thoughts, Elsa doesn't even register the van’s sudden halt - or the paunchy figure standing beside her until she speaks. 

“Toldcha’ I’d send you away,” Gerda sniggers. 

Elsa bolts from her seat, hitting her head on the metal roof, “Fuck! Jesus, Gerda - couldn’t you have knocked first?” 

“Oh, you know, manners are lost on me,” Gerda answers, sitting across Elsa. Her wrinkled hands extend a key. 

“No, I’m fine by myself, thank you very much,” Elsa retorts. She single-handedly retrieves a needle from beneath her sleeve and picks the handcuffs in seconds. 

“There, see?” Elsa tosses the unlocked cuffs at Gerda, “Didn’t need your help.” 

“God, you’re really as stubborn as ever.” 

Elsa overturns her palms, “Who do you think I learned it from?” 

There’s a pause as Gerda looks into Elsa’s eyes, “I don’t know if I should be proud of this-.” 

“Well, I’m not asking you to be proud of me,” Elsa wipes her tears, before looking away. 

She shifts next to Elsa and loops an arm around her shoulder, “Oh come here, you.” 

All of Elsa’s fears dissolve into one long sigh as Gerda hugs her close. 

“I don’t know what you’ve got going on with your sister that makes you want to pursue this kinda life,” Gerda whispers into Elsa’s hair, with a tremble in her cheeks, “but goddamn - could I not be prouder of having raised the two of you.” 

Elsa ponders her words, wishing it’s enough to mend the crack in her heart. She feels the wound closing. Only by a bit. 

“Thanks, mom.” 

“Now get outta here,” Gerda chides, “say hi to dad for me. He’s in Bolivia or something. Fighting the drug lords.” 

There’s a notable apprehension in Elsa’s hands as she gives Gerda one last squeeze. Standing at the exit, she hears Gerda clear her throat. 

“You’re forgetting something,” Gerda reminds her, roll of duct tape held aloft with a finger. 

“Oh - now you’re making me look like a monster,” Elsa complains. Despite this, she complies with Gerda’s request - and she’s back out into the night air. The van’s parked in a nondescript, empty parking lot. Elsa finds herself hotfooting it away from the mall, away from any buildings. Perhaps it’s some macabre coincidence, or some force of magnetism that draws her in. But she wanders onto that same overpass where they met a week ago. Bit of smeared ketchup on the concrete still dull-red against the streetlights. 

A sigh leaves her throat, followed by a sob. Forehead pressing in her palm. There aren’t even any passing trucks at this hour to distract her. All at once her heart is ready to disintegrate again. She imagines Anna in the same cell she was in a week ago. Cold and lonely - with only the walls to curse at and memories to torment her. The thought sends another tear down her cheek. Guilt consumes Elsa’s soul. She shuts her eyes and tries to fight off breaking down in the middle of nowhere, but her efforts leave her vulnerable to a shadow creeping closer. 

“Boo!” Anna squeals. 

Elsa shrieks and trips backward, flailing limbs caught by Anna’s. 

“Easy there - awfully jumpy for a master thief.” 

“Oh Anna,” Elsa cries, pulling her into the tightest embrace she could muster, “I thought I lost you-” 

“Ow, ow,” Anna complains, patting her sister’s back, “ok, I can’t breathe - you can let go now.” 

“But how?” Elsa asks, cradling her sister’s face, “The police and everything-” 

A pair of handcuffs strewn on the road answers Elsa’s question, “Learnt from the best in the business. Remember all those tricks you made me rehearse repeatedly?” 

“Well it’s not like we have a choice anymore,” Elsa bemoans, clutching her head, “they’ve taken the diamond. And I promised Kristoff.” 

Anna frowns for a second, before her voice trickles to a whisper, “Check your left boot.” 

Lost in her emotion, the sensation of a hard nub pressing against her ankle hadn’t even registered in Elsa’s senses. She pulls out the stone, and her lungs struggle to contain the heaving excitement bursting through her chest. 

“What is this?” 

“I swapped a polymer replica when we hugged at the lift,” Anna smirks, “t-they’re probably. Well they’re definitely gonna be looking for us now.” 

Elsa rips a jeweller’s pen from her pocket; a miniaturised detector for testing diamonds. Her hands tremble as she presses it to the stone, shaking even more violently when it beeps green.

“Oh god Anna, you’re the most conniving, sneakiest, devilish girl I’ve ever met,” Elsa exclaims, before lurching forward and lifting Anna up in a spin, “and I love you for this!” 

“Ok, ok, put me down!” Anna pleads, “They’re coming for us! I can already hear the sirens!” 

The exhilaration injects a new surge of energy into Elsa’s being. She darts her eyes left and right, before settling on the gas station, “Alright, we’d better get out of here.” 

Elsa’s feet brace for a sprint, only for a hand to snag her elbow. A firm tug. Elsa whirls around on her feet to the warm breath of Anna’s connecting with hers. The kiss is so sudden, and intense, that it wipes the thrill of their score clean from her mind. She can feel Anna’s lips curling into a smile against hers, and that soft voice floating into her ears. 

“That was totally worth the wait.” 

**

Lost in the hazy space between waking and dreaming, Elsa’s eyes flutter open. A frigid, misty wind tickles the bare skin of her spine, but the cold doesn't bother her. She makes out a Llama flock grazing beneath the cliff, a precipitous, foggy drop from the rear porch of her cabin. The sight makes her swallow, but the warm pair of hands massaging her shoulders lulls her back to sleep on the bench. 

“I felt your heart skip a beat just there,” Anna teases, “you sure you’re not afraid of heights anymore?”

“I am,” Elsa slurs, reaching behind just so she can hold Anna’s head close to hers, “I just feel so safe whenever you’re with me.”

The breath catches in her throat as she feels a warm breath between her shoulder blades. The trembe spreading through her chest steadied by a hard nub dragging down her spine. Heat tingles her core, and she tilts her head back at Anna. 

“You’re using that thing again, aren’t you?” 

“Mhm,” Anna breathes into the nape of her neck, “it’s not like we have it for much longer.” 

The diamond ends up somewhere along the dip of Elsa’s tailbone, and by then it’s enough to send her teetering over the edge. She turns over on the bench, before dragging Anna’s head down for a kiss. The raw hunger behind Elsa’s lips isn’t lost on Anna. 

“Careful now,” Anna whispers, grazing the stone against her lips, “if I drop this down the cliff, you're getting it back for us.” 

For a moment, the delicate breath against her neck makes Elsa forget. She grasps the girl’s head to herself. Red hair tangled between her slender fingers. A soft moan escapes her throat - and Anna snickers. 

“Getting carried away, aren’t we?” 

The sight of Anna’s eyes swimming into her blurry vision ships her back to reality, “When’s Kristoff coming to collect the stone again?” 

“Half an hour - we should hear his truck coming,” Anna whispers, before dipping her head down for another kiss, “which means we have all the time in the world for some fun-” 

Anna’s head travels further south, leaving delicate, wind-soaked kisses along each spot. The burgeoning hunger within Elsa manifests in one long moan, but a harness still tethers her back. 

“He’s gonna walk in on us-” 

The girl giggles. Her hands travel further down still. Their noses touch. Eyelids flutter shut. Lips connect in a breath of longing, dissolving every hesitation and apprehension about their destiny together. 

Sisters. Thieves. Lovers. 

“Anna, are you ready?” Elsa’s voice boomed from below in the living room, breaking Anna away from her thoughts.  

Anna gulped and yelled, “Coming!” She took a deep breath and adjusted her hat one last time before heading out to meet Elsa. Each step down the staircase felt like a hundred miles, her eyes didn’t leave her feet until she reached the bottom. Bringing her attention back up, her eyes instantly locked onto Elsa in front of her.  

Elsa looked stunning in her mermaid costume, her long, flaxen hair flowing down her back, adorned with aquamarine seashells and white, frosty glitter. She turned to face Anna with a soft smile, “You look amazing.” Elsa eyed Anna up and down starting with her tricorn hat, that led to a ruffled white blouse with a low neck, a black vest adorned with gold buttons holding the shirt around her chest with a red sash tied around her waist, and last but not least, a pair of black knee-high leather boots. 

Anna looked to the floor, slightly embarrassed, and inspected her friend’s costume in return. Elsa wore a shimmery, sequined, sea-green tail skirt that flared out at the bottom, a fitted, shell-adorned top, and a delicate crown of seashells. The shells, pearls, and glitter woven into her hair only stood to compliment her icy blue eyes. 

“You too,” Anna replied, feeling her cheeks flush. As she struggled to maintain eye contact. She searched around in her brain for something to end the awkward silence that followed. “Ready to make a splash?” She asked with instant regret and internally chided herself for making such a corny joke; however, this was not out of character for the woman. Elsa covered her mouth and giggled, a warm sound that always made Anna’s heart flutter.  

“Absolutely. Let’s go, captain,” Elsa winked and led the way.  

— 

The party was already in full swing when the pair arrived. The house was decorated with cobwebs, pumpkins, and eerie LCD lighting, creating a spooky yet festive atmosphere. Guests mingled in their costumes, and the air was filled with music, chattering, laughter, and a little bit of dry ice for faux smoke effects. Kristoff had a propensity for being unabashedly himself, which was also synonymous with being the life of the party. If there were any less decorations, Anna and Elsa would have been disappointed. 

As they entered the main living space the host of the party himself greeted them with a wide grin. “Anna, Elsa! Great costumes! You two look perfect together.” 

Anna and Elsa exchanged a glance, both smiling and trying to internally guess what Kristoff’s costume was. He wore, what appeared to be, grey and brown animal pelts with a tunic, tied in with leather accessories like a belt. Anna pondered and tapped her finger on her chin. 

“Thanks, Kristoff,” Elsa bit her lip and tightened her brow, “What...” 

Based on the judgment creeping out of Elsa’s face and knowing her friend’s tendency for speaking her mind without fully understanding that her words may come off as condescending, Anna knew her friend’s question was going to come off with a tinge of rudeness. 

“What an amazing costume!” Anna finished her sentence, perhaps not in the way Elsa intended. “Let me guess, you are a... Reindeer Herder!” 

“Oh, so close,” Kristoff laughed and slapped his knee. “I am an ice harvester. What can I say, I love ice?” Unknowingly adding to the women’s confusion, he pulls a carrot out of his back pocket and takes a bite. “Glad you like it though! Help yourselves to the food and drinks. We have games and a costume contest later, so stick around.” He wiggled his eyebrows as he side-stepped away from the conversation. 

“He never changes, does he?” Elsa crossed her arms and leaned into Anna.  

“Nope.” Anna agreed, trying to ignore the light touch on her own arm.  

The two wandered through the crowd, Elsa leading the way. They took time greeting friends and admiring the various costumes. Their friend Aurora was dressed as a princess, she always had to be the best looking one at the party. Her girlfriend Mulan was by her side in full knight attire. Another couple they’ve known since high school, Ariel and Eric, also went the royalty route, however instead of a dashing knight, Eric chose to be a charming prince. Anna could sense Ariel’s jealousy of Aurora’s attire but knew she would never say anything. Other various couple’s costumes were spread across the party. There was a Barbie and Ken pair, a Harley Quinn and Joker pair, and a Shaggy and Fred from Scooby-Doo.  As they walked around the large house, they saw an astronaut, a sumo wrestler, even a large ornate dragon costume. Many of the costumes were very well done, causing Anna to look at her own with disapproval.  

Elsa noticed Anna sink into herself again and tugged on her arm, “Anna?” Her raspy yet sultry voice caused a heat in Anna’s stomach. 

“Yes?” Anna squeezed Elsa’s arm in return but didn’t look at her.  

“Is something wrong?” 

“No, I mean, not really. It’s just...” Anna trailed off and looked around the party again. “I feel like my costume idea was, although not that original, really well thought out, but it seems everyone else did an amazing job too. I was hoping I would win in the costume contest, or at least lose to you.” 

“You wouldn’t lose to me, your costume is amazing Anna, one could almost mistake you for a real pirate, if you weren’t so clean.” Elsa walked around to face Anna and grabbed the collar of her friend’s vest to straighten it. “If you don’t win, I’ll riot in your honor.” 

“Don’t you mean plunder, raid, pillage...” 

“Well, maybe I’ll just have to go full siren. Lure, sing, charm...drown.” 

“Elsa, you don’t need to drown anyone for me.” 

“I’d do anything for you.” Elsa winked as she did when they left the house earlier, leaving Anna speechless as she watched the slink away from her viewpoint. Once her silent stupor ended, Anna shook her head and went to find Kristoff to catch up.  

—

Despite the lively atmosphere, Anna couldn’t shake her nervousness. She knew she had to find the right moment to talk to Elsa, but the risk of rejection loomed large in her mind and the overall fear of losing her best friend. Anna eventually found herself at the refreshment table, where Elsa abruptly appeared beside her and grabbed two cups of some home-made punch, handing one to Anna.  

Anna swirled the contents around in the cup, unsure of what concoction of different liquors and juices she may taste inside.  

Elsa went to raise her cup in a toast when she saw the other woman’s apprehension. “Just do it, you look like you need to loosen up a bit.” 

Anna jested and stuck out her tongue, “Why don’t you make me?” 

Elsa’s look became serious as she walked around the small kitchen island, narrowing the space between them. Anna felt frozen, as if she were a deer in the headlights of an oncoming vehicle and just watched as Elsa wrapped her arm around her own in front. “What if we do it like this?”  

Anna felt the other woman grow close as their arms now snaked around the other’s, their drinks now at each other’s lips.  

“Here’s to a fun night,” Elsa whispered, raising her cup in a toast before hinting at Anna to open her mouth. Anna obeyed and let the drink pass between her lips, as she returned the favor. 

“To a fun night,” Anna echoed after the toast. ‘Maybe Elsa is right, I do need to loosen up.’  

She allowed her friend to fetch her one more drink to add to her liquid courage for the evening. As she took the final sip, Anna felt a surge of determination. She had to tell Elsa how she felt tonight, no matter what. She opened her mouth to speak but as the party buzzed with excitement, Kristoff waltzed onto a makeshift stage with a cheap microphone in hand. "Alright, everyone! It's time to announce the winners of the costume contest!" he called out, gathering the party’s attention. 

Anna sighed and then took her place beside Elsa who strolled closer to the stage. Anna removed her hat, casually holding it in her hands as they waited for the results. She glanced over at Elsa, who was adjusting the seashell crown in her hair, seemingly unbothered. She knew Elsa hadn’t thought much about winning though.  

"First, let’s start with the individual costume category," Kristoff said, scanning the crowd that had gathered around in front of him. "There were a lot of great looks tonight, but one stood out for its sheer creativity and detail. Give it up for… Raya and her incredible dragon costume!" 

Cheers erupted, and a dark haired woman stepped forward with a wide grin, raising her arms to show off the wings that unfurled behind her. The crowd clapped and cheered as she accepted her prize, a silly plastic crown and a gift card to a local café. Anna clapped along, although she was genuinely impressed, she still felt a sinking feeling in her chest. 

Elsa grabbed Anna's hat from her hands and placed it back on her head, “Her costume was great, but yours was better. We’ll find you some finer treasures elsewhere.” Anna couldn’t help but smile as the woman tidied up her outfit once again, caring for it with great import as Anna would herself. 

“And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for—the couples costume winner!" Kristoff continued. "This pair showed creativity, chemistry...” 

Anna looked over to Aurora on the other side of the room with Mulan, ready to pounce onto the stage. 

“And let’s be honest, they totally nailed it. And the winners are… Anna and Elsa, the pirate and the mermaid!" 

Anna’s eyes widened in shock. "Wait, what?" she blurted, looking at Elsa, who burst out laughing. The crowd clapped, and a few of their friends whistled, calling out their names. 

"Come on up, you two!" Kristoff urged, waving them forward. 

Anna felt her face flush as she awkwardly made her way toward the front with Elsa by her side, still grinning at Anna’s surprise.  

"This can’t be real," Anna muttered under her breath, but she couldn’t help laughing along with Elsa’s delight. 

Kristoff handed them their prize—another plastic crown for each of them, along with a small trophy shaped like a gold star. "Congrats, you two! You’re officially the best-dressed duo tonight!" 

Elsa accepted the crown and placed it on the rim of Anna’s hat with a chuckle. "Well, I guess you did nail it." 

“We.” Anna corrected. 

Elsa leaned in, her eyes twinkling. "We make a good team." 

As they posed for a few pictures with their crowns, Anna caught Elsa’s eye and was thrilled to see her looking back at her. 

—

As they mingled with more friends and enjoyed the party, Anna kept looking for an opportunity to talk to Elsa alone. Every time Anna felt the courage to bring up the conversation, a random person would interrupt, or the loud music would take over.  

Her chance finally came when Kristoff announced a game that required participants to act out famous scenes from movies. “All right, everyone,” the man called out. “We’re going to play a game called ‘Hollywood Highlights.’ I need some volunteers to act out different scenes for the audience to vote on. Who’s in?” 

Anna felt her heart skip a beat. This could be the perfect opportunity. She nudged Elsa. “Want to give it a try?” 

Elsa’s eyes sparkled with excitement. “Sure, why not? After all, we are on a winning streak.” 

They stepped forward, joining a few other pairs who had volunteered. Kristoff handed them slips of paper with the scenes they would act out. Anna’s hands trembled slightly as she unfolded their slip and read the scene: the romantic boat scene from The Little Mermaid where the characters would share their first kiss, if not interrupted.  

Anna gulped, looking down at her clothes. Elsa grabbed the paper from her hand and read the scene for herself.  “Relax, pirates can be princes too.” She extended her hand and placed it on Anna’s, causing the woman’s heart to beat even faster. 

“All right, everyone,” Kristoff said. “You have a few minutes to prepare. Then we’ll see your performances, for those that need an additional fill in, I’ll take that spot. At the end, we’ll vote on who did the best performance!” He strolled over to Anna and Elsa whilst puffing up his chest. He pointed to himself with his thumb. “I’ll be the crab and some of the sea creatures. But don’t worry, I won’t steal the show. Maybe.” Elsa poked him in the stomach, causing the air in his chest to deflate and giggled.  

They found a quiet corner to rehearse. As they went over the scene, Anna couldn’t help but feel nervous and excited. She glanced at Elsa, who seemed completely at ease, and felt a pang of admiration. Elsa had always been the braver of the two, never afraid to speak her mind or speak in front of others. Her confidence could not be challenged, and Anna admired that about her. 

“Ready?” Elsa inquired, smiling warmly at Anna. 

Anna nodded with a shaky voice. “Yeah, ready.” 

When it was their turn to perform, Anna and Elsa stepped into the makeshift spotlight. The room fell silent, all eyes on them. Anna took a deep breath and began the scene, trying to focus on her small part and few lines, making jokes of Kristoff pretending to be Scuttle; being loud and annoying. Music began in the background as the girls circled each other as if they were spinning in the boat.  

As they reached the climactic moment where their characters were about to kiss, Anna’s nervousness reached its peak. She looked into Elsa’s eyes, searching for any sign of what she might be feeling. Elsa’s expression was calm and encouraging, her blue eyes reflecting the dim light of the room. 

Summoning all her courage, Anna decided to go for it. She gently took Elsa’s hand and leaned in, whispering, “I know you don’t have any speaking lines for this part, so you can just listen. And afterwards, you can just ignore this as if nothing ever happened, you could hate me, or whatever it is you need to do, but I need to tell you something... 

Elsa’s eyes began searching in Anna’s. She had an idea of what was to come but felt a blush rosy on her cheeks in return. 

Anna continued, “I think I’m in love with you.” 

Elsa’s eyes widened in surprise, but her expression quickly softened. She leaned forward to Anna’s side that was faced away from the audience, so she would not break character by talking and whispered back, “I’ve been waiting for you to say that. "She pulled her face back to the center, their noses so close together they were practically touching.  The audience began to lowly cheer, thinking their heartfelt moment was part of the act. 

Kristoff began to rock the imaginary boat in front of the women but to no avail. The two stood firmly looking into each other as Anna worked up the courage to press her lips against Elsa’s. 

And then, finally, they kissed. It was a soft, tentative kiss at first, as if testing the waters, but it quickly deepened into something more. The room erupted in applause and cheers, but to Anna, it was just background noise. All that mattered was the feeling of Elsa’s lips on hers, the way they fit together as if they had always been meant to. The kiss was warm, gentle, and full of all the unspoken words they had been too afraid to say.

When they finally pulled away, Anna felt a rush of emotions—relief, joy, excitement, and a sense of rightness.. They were both breathless, eyes locked, and in that moment, Anna knew that everything had changed. This wasn’t just part of an act; it was real, and it was everything she had ever hoped for.

The cheers and applause of their friends filled the room, grounding them back into reality and then the crowd clapped once more as they stepped away from the spotlight, Anna was unsure if the audience knew that the couple was not actually supposed to kiss during the song “Kiss the Girl”, but she could care less. ‘I like our version better.’ 

Kristoff raised an eyebrow, as he did know that the scene was supposed to end with the women falling instead of kissing based on their rehearsal, but Anna seemed to be drifting away, instead of interjecting, he let his friends be.  

Anna felt a weight lift off her shoulders. The fear of rejection that had been holding her back melted away, replaced by a sense of relief and happiness. 

Elsa pulled her aside, away from the crowd, and found a quiet area where they could talk privately. “Anna, I can’t believe you were so scared to tell me,” Elsa reassured, her voice filled with affection. “Honestly I was too… But I was only afraid of losing you. I love you Anna, I always have.” 

Anna laughed, feeling a mix of emotions. Her face still beat red. “I guess we were both being silly.” 

“Yeah,” Elsa agreed, taking Anna’s hand. “But I’m glad you finally told me.” She took Anna’s hands in her own and swung them back and forth between them.  

—

Anna and Elsa, along with Kristoff, ended up in second place because they deviated from the script, but their exceptional acting made up for it. The two women were all right with the outcome, as they had won in the costume contest earlier and now, by expressing themselves to each other. 

They spent the rest of the night dancing, laughing, and enjoying the party with their friends. As the event began to wind down, Anna and Elsa found themselves standing on the back patio of the house, the moonlight reflecting off the tops of the trees, and stars scattered across the night sky. They stood hand in hand, the cool breeze brushing against their skin.  

“This is perfect,” Elsa said softly, resting her head on Anna’s shoulder. The puffy sleeves of Anna's white blouse provided extra padding for Elsa’s cool forehead. 

“It really is,” Anna agreed, feeling a sense of contentment she had never felt before. 

A lot of it was redacted by thick black splotches of ink. Still now, twenty-one summer seasons in age, the Princess received her mail with the seal broken. This one was no different. Anna pulled the single page out of the envelope. She did not recognize the penmanship or the undersigned name yet each ‘t’ was doubled crossed. 

Dearest Anna,

At the risk of sounding trite, I compare my longing for you to a shiver in the dead of winter.  Nothing warms my bones. Princess, when the moon is new and the night dark, feel, in place of light, the strength of my embrace.    

Wasting without you, 

Lord Dour Sullen

Anna might have laughed at the choice words, each one selected to make a mockery of love on a page. Yet, the wash of grief came in a howling sob and cut Anna down at the knees. She curled her body around the letter and recited the words in her mind. The moon was waning. After a year, she would once again risk her way out of the castle walls and sneak into the woods. 

In those long hours of waiting, Anna’s body forgot all aches. It forgot how to miss someone and replaced the air in her lungs with anticipation. Every inch of her feasted on adrenaline. It was hard to hide it amongst her patrons, but she digressed. The civil war did not breed gaiety. Anna channeled Lord Dour Sullen, and hung her shoulders at all news from the throes. 

Arendelle had a fierce army fortified by several allies. Her land had numbers, but the dissent had magic. After decades of being exiled and culled, the wielders of mystic power were revolting. They were taking back what was stripped from them. Land and fortunes, yes. But also family and loved ones. Magic was a curse people were born with. Any whiff of it was the highest form of treason and a death sentence to anyone who harboured a touched man, woman, or child. There were no known exceptions. 

Even the ruling King and Queen had banished their child. Anna’s first memory was of her older sister in shackles being carted away, the people she was meant to serve bashing the child princess with rotten food and stones. The unnatural cold plaguing Arendelle left with Elsa. The heat that followed was bountiful. At first, Anna had refused to eat fruit. Her sister’s absence was an ingredient of its own. When it came to harvest, it was as important as sunlight, water, and rich soil.  Not long after, Anna began her schooling. The fear of magic was sown into her and she began to enjoy the gushing wet of digging her teeth into gooseberries. 

To the suitors who made it past the first round back and forths, Anna opened up about her fear of magic. It was a common enough topic in her realm. Many offered their swords, others offered shared hate but a select few offered her a bit of grace. She found herself fond of the boys who questioned authority and pondered the history of magic. Those letters were the most redacted of all, but they still made their way to Anna. Anna’s eager responses were filled with the promise that she might quickly be wed. Whoever censored her letters seemed that reason enough to give these more radical boys a pass. 

One such Lord was Aiken Tulain. He ruled a small patch of land deep in the south but boarded in Weselton during his ministry. His letters were sweetness, though each new one peeled away the shyness and emboldened with less talk of blooming flowers and more of foreign policy. Anna was just sixteen then and her interest in politics was rearing. Lord Tulian fed her curiosity all sorts of fodder. He had a way with words, layering them with jest and innuendo. He was well aware that talk of magic was discouraged in Arendelle. The black marks on his letters were a spell of their own. The words that made it to Anna were practically deciphered for her. His desire was made plain. He would come to Arendelle, they would steal away, and test their love under the cover of a dark night. 

Diving into the wood, unescorted for the first time in her life, Anna thought she felt fear. The night air took a shift. The heavy cape on her shoulders was suddenly insufficient. She was shaking. Anna saw him from afar. Aiken was on his mark. She commended him for daring to don such dreary attire just to see her. When she neared, she realized what true fear was. He was exactly as self-described. A head of ashen hair with a slight gold tint and skin just as blanched. Glazed blue eyes like a frozen river and lips so pink they looked like they had already been kissed. But this was not a Lord. Anna knew the face straight away. Through thirteen years, a lifetime, it was as familiar as her own reflection. This was the exiled Princess Elsa of Arendelle. Facing her sister sent a shiver down Anna’s spine. 

“Forgive me for luring you here under false pretenses,” Elsa spoke. In an attempt to hold back her tears, Anna bit her lip. She tried to steady her body. It did not know how to react to the onslaught of emotion. The cold air felt malicious. Anna was in danger here. Beyond that she felt heartbreak. She’d prepared to offer herself to Aiken, to accept his hand and his kiss. She had dreamed of sealing their engagement by lying with him in these very woods.  

“May I hug you?” Elsa took a tentative step forward. Anna wondered why her sister sounded like she had imagined Aiken would, with a rasp. 

“Stay away!” Anna screamed. But she did not retreat. It was as if Elsa had already worked her magic. She was frozen in place. 

“I mean no harm.” 

“Then what is the meaning of this?” Elsa took another step forward. Her sister was a woman now. Despite her run down garb, she had an ethereal glow, otherworldly. Anna felt that same skip in her chest that fluttered when receiving correspondence from Lord Tulian. 

“I wanted to see you, Anna.” The deep rasp sounded sincere. “I wish I had grown with you.” 

The last statement was familiar. Anna had read it in her letters. Not Aiken’s. But from another boy, Nesser, whom she’d, over the years, maintained a fondness for. 

“You tricked me,” her voice did not colour her betrayal. It barely left her lips. 

“I had no other means,” Elsa answered. She dared reach out for Anna. The Princess jumped back. She had risked her reputation to sneak off for a boy. Now her life was in peril. If her sister did not kill her, the Royal Guard would have her head were they to catch wind of this encounter. 

“No,” Anna said and then ran away from the cold. 

*

Every day that followed welcomed a full sun. The Princess received one more letter from Lord Tulian. Several came from Nesser. They only ceased when Anna asked she not be forwarded his mail. She could push Elsa out but she could not rid herself of Aiken's words. They replayed in her head. She mourned the loss of her would-be lover. Her ache over her sister renewed. The princess wilted away, morose on most days. The mood lasted a full season and only deflated with the welcoming of winter. When Anna had not much to do but study and reply to her letters. 

She knew right away when Elsa wrote again. Aiken's quirky t's stared right at her. The name was new. This time Elsa was a grand duke. The letter was not what Anna expected. 

Let's just pretend that I am him.

Anna responded with contempt. Elsa answered. Anna responded with scorn. Elsa answered.  Anna responded with disdain. Elsa answered. Anna responded with hostility and hatred. Elsa answered with a coded time and place. Anna responded by taking to the woods on a moonless night. 

“You are nothing like the men you claim to be. I've looked through all my letters. You've impersonated dozens of noblemen. You are a dirty lying witch! I should turn you in right now. You never should have been banished. You should have been culled.” Anna was well aware that it was her fear yelling at the hooded figure twenty paces away. Yet that fear overrode the fluttering pang in her chest. The squeamish feeling in her core was one only lovesick girls could feel. She had no choice but to ignore it. 

“I have not lied to you, Princess. I have given you names and ranks that do not belong to me, but I have neither. I was stripped of both years ago. I meant every word of growing fondness. I've always told you of my desperation to be with you. I wish I was Aiken, Anna. I wish I was anyone else. Being left wanting, I wish to grow with you.” Elsa’s voice flowed with the cool wind and hit Anna square in the chest. 

“You risk my life writing me.” Anna warned. She took a step back. Elsa dared not come any closer. 

“I never claimed to be selfless.”  

“People like you never are.”  

*

Their correspondence continued. Anna told herself she played pretend for the sake of the censors combing through her letters. But she still wrote from her heart. Elsa did not hold back. Anna could see the emotion in how heavy her sister sometimes dragged her pen. The deep grooves on the page showed more passion than even her words. The duke made Anna swoon. She began corresponding with her old friend again. Nesser made Anna laugh. Aiken wrote sometimes too, and he made Anna rethink everything she’d ever been taught. 

What Elsa said out in the woods was true. She never had a false identity. If Anna put all of her sister’s aliases together, she was corresponding with a well-rounded, complex, and fully fledged person. She was still a witch. The cold walk into the woods reminded Anna of that. When the sisters did rendezvous, Anna kept her distance. She slayed each one of her urges to get closer. Elsa, in turn, never again dared take a step in Anna’s direction. The duke would write her after, telling Anna of how he imagined her skin would feel against his. Of how holding her would be the end of him, he’d die before letting go. 

Anna’s mother told her once. “I can always tell by that smile you wear when the duke has written. He better take a knee when he finally sees it.” Her mother prodded her with her elbow as Anna tried but failed to curve her lips downward. “What will you say to him when he finally asks for your hand?” 

“I will say, I wish to grow with you.” 

She saw Elsa again not too long after. This time she did not keep her distance. She wanted to replace her fear but could think of only one way to placate it. 

“Approach slowly.” She demanded of Elsa. Her sister had a raised eyebrow but also a similar smile to one their mother teased Anna about. Being closer to Elsa’s white skin was frightful. If the moon was out her skin might even reflect its light. “Put both your hands out in front of you. And wait there.” 

Elsa did as she was told. Anna closed the distance holding a pair of shackles. They were a common tool used by the Guard, adapted to hold those with magic. Elsa swallowed when she caught sight of them. Anna knew she’d worn them once before. Elsa kept her hands up and let Anna fix the heavy metal mitts over them. 

“I’m not turning you in,” Anna tried to calm her sister. Elsa bobbed her head slightly, barely accepting the reassurance. “I couldn’t think of a safer way to get closer to you.” 

“I understand,” Elsa said. Her usual static-like enthusiasm was contained. For the first time ever, Anna didn’t hate magic. She hated herself for doing this to her sister. She hated her mother, who thought so highly of the duke but not her own child. She despised the decree that kept them apart all these years. Maybe it was the equalizer around Elsa’s wrists or just the proximity, but Anna no longer felt afraid of Elsa. 

“I’m in love with the Duke. I’m in love with Lord Aiken and dear Nesser.” Elsa nodded along, her eyes following the tiny steps forward Anna took with each declaration. “At first I thought I was pretending and then I thought it delusion. Yet, right now, standing in your breath, I am certain I am in love with the hand that writes life into my existence. I know that there is no reconciling the truth with emotion. The world does not exist in a way that I can have love, just as it will not allow you your family. But I needed to tell you. I needed to risk your expulsion of me to say that I am in love with you.”        

“Is this our reality? That I can only have you with ink or irons?” Elsa’s impassioned voice was Aiken’s and her sad doe-eyes Nesser’s. 

“Have you another suggestion?” Anna asked and the answer was spoken by the duke. 

“With skin.” 

It was Elsa who leaned down and inched her lips towards Anna’s and Anna who chose to close the distance between them. Elsa’s mouth was just as cold as Anna always feared it would be. But just as soft and gentle as she fantasized about. The Princess could feel the tender flesh of her lips freeze onto Elsa’s. Her sister’s tongue was warm enough to ward off the cold magic. This was not the reaction she had expected. No, Anna had thought her sister would recoil the way Anna had when they first met. Instead Elsa was pawing at her with her cuffs and urging Anna on with a quiet moan. 

“I will write to you,” Anna said after removing the second shackle. She hung her head, staring at the irons instead of her sister. 

“I’m not a monster, Anna. None of us are.” 

“I think I’ve always known that. I am sorry I forgot.” 

*

The sister’s began growing, both together and apart. They saw each other more. Anna knew it meant Elsa now lived in Arendelle, and passed her time away in deep hiding, abetted by the rebels. There was a growing sect of people who opposed the crown. They were made mostly of those who lost loved ones to the cull. Arendelle was focused on squashing new magic. Without thinking critically, it was easy to ignore that new magic meant infants and children. Anna expanded the amount of people she wrote to, and began to correspond with free thinkers and radicals. She picked up the code easily after years of deciphering Elsa’s letters. Anna filled the void left by her sister with dreams of changing Arendelle. 

The princess felt altered after her kiss with Elsa. Her fear turned inward to her own castle and her role as Princess and daughter to the man who had vilified magic. The censors stopped allowing letters from Lord Tulain entirely. But Elsa came back as a lord who got to say whatever he wanted because it was all vitriol. Anna knew he meant the opposite, excluding how crude he was. Those forward claims to the Princess’s body, Anna imagined Elsa saying with that low rasp in her voice. 

Out in the woods Elsa made true her letters. Anna never rendered her sister again. Untethered, Elsa was bold. Her cold hands rubbed Anna’s skin raw. Not even the budding heat of her pleasure could dispel the cold. Elsa’s magic felt like the most refreshing thing in the world. When Anna came up for a breath, she was pink wherever Elsa had roamed. In turn, Anna braved Elsa’s glacial skin. She released breaths of hot air over Elsa’s exposed flesh, warming the skin so she could work her mouth. The more her tongue could endure the louder Elsa got. Under countless new moons, her sister called out Anna’s name. 

“You’re getting too bold in your letters. It’s no fun for me when you run your mouth rancid and all I get is a big black box. Simmer down on the next one.” Anna jested, using her laughter to hold the feeling of farewell back a moment longer. 

“Make me,” Elsa dared. Anna answered by balling up her sister’s slip and tossing it deeper into the woods. Anna received an ice cold glare. She was half dressed and made to go retrieve the garment. 

“I thank the Gods I am fortunate enough to receive your unencumbered naught.” Elsa said smiling. The sisters took turns helping each other dress. Elsa had finer things now that Anna stole away a few gems for her. Instead of shackles, Anna risked bringing spoils from the coffers. It was worth funding both Elsa's livelihood and a bit of the rebellion. Anna always wondered if they had any contacts in common. The subject however was taboo, far more forbidden than even their sex. 

It was the end of their night. Anna's mood soured. Things were tense in Arendelle. Reports of riots in their northern province had come in earlier that day. Anna was sure Elsa had heard, she could tell by how eager and heavy her touch was. The princess wanted to ask more about it but she could not. 

*

Her answer came a few nights later. A letter from the duke stated he’d been drafted. He would not be able to call on her until the unrest in Arendelle subsided. The Queen tried to subdue Anna’s sobs but Anna refused her. It was the crown that took Elsa away, again and again. Arendelle was shipping in men from all over the seas to help extinguish the rebellion. The army was brutal in its defense, using fire and black powder to combat the force of magic.  

Anna regretted not challenging Elsa that night. The toll the rebels would pay was the same they were fighting to avoid. War meant little more than death and destruction. Anna felt there had to be another way. She spent long months in the archives. She studied all of Arendelle’s long upheld laws, ordinances, statues, and acts looking for ways to legally challenge the King’s decree against magic. She spent thousands of hours combing through it all, putting in all the effort she once stored to correspond with Elsa and cursed the rebellion for not waiting for her to become Queen. 

Anna was so detached from Arendelle she almost forgot she was a princess. Her mother however became an insistent stalwart for her nuptials. The Queen pressed Anna to marry a man that may help bring the civil war to an end. She brought such prospects to the castle. Anna had to entertain these noblemen while they celebrated advances made by the armies. The princess was not that good of an actor. She over corrected by biting her tongue when rumors of an ice witch on the battlefield filled the dinner table. 

“They say they will throw her in a vat of boiling water once captured.” The prince courting Anna said. 

“That's not table talk,” the King chided to much relief of the rest of the royal family. The Queen, however, kept pressing Anna after her suitor was sent home. 

“I see your troubles, Anna. However, sitting idle waiting for your duke will not bring him back to you. This war won’t end without something drastic. A marriage with such a militaristic country could be the last stroke of fire. You, my dear, have power here. You can change history if only you take my suggestions seriously.” The King did not let Anna mull over his wife’s words. 

“We will not let our enemies take the gift we offered Anna. She will follow only the prompts of her heart. After all, Arendellian law does not bend.” Her father had always defended Anna’s right to marry. Yet this was the first time he had ever worded it in such a way. 

Anna later found the actual document that stated her freedom to marry. It was dated shortly after Elsa was sent away. Anna could not help but wonder if it was guilt that had inspired such a token. More importantly, it was an actual law and pertained to all those who would carry King Agnarr’s blood. It was meant to last for centuries. The King’s words echoed in Anna’s head. Arendellian law does not bend. Laws superseded decrees. She studied every word and wrote down the different interpretations it lended. Most notably that the emphasis was not on title, but blood. Anna was free to marry anyone with noble blood. It seemed both her parents were right. Anna did have power and she would use it to marry for love. 

*

The Princess wore a white gown like the one dear Nesser once described she might don on her wedding day. She covered it with her thick dark cloak and waited for a stillness to befall the castle before setting out past its protective perimeter. Anna walked the quiet woods but she knew she was not alone. She steadied herself and willed her beating heart to silence. She spent a year without word of her sister and did not want to miss her voice due to the wild pulsations at her temples. 

Lord Dour Sullen was on her mark. This was the first time Anna saw Elsa dressed in the militia’s uniform. She had a sword strapped to her back and a whip coiled up at her side. Her hair was in one tight braid that sat on her shoulder. Her body looked more muscular but her cheeks were sunken in. She looked washed but the thick leather under her chest plate smelled of death. Anna thought her changed until she spoke. 

“I have looked at our moon every night for inspiration, and never did it stir me the way you do now,” Elsa waxed. Anna felt all her muscles finally let go of a year’s worth of dread. She collapsed her full weight into Elsa’s embrace. 

“I hate you, you witch.” Anna dug herself into Elsa’s shoulder. Elsa held her up and peppered kisses on the top of her head. 

“Shut up, Princess,” she said in response. The bliss lasted but a moment. Anna felt Elsa’s cold deepen. “There’s someone here,” she whispered. 

“I know,” Anna said and she pulled away from Elsa. Without the princess in her arms Elsa had a hand on her sword and steel blue eyes scanning the night. She did not notice Anna drop her cape. 

“Elsa, look at me.” Her sister spared Anna a glance and then did a double take. There were several figures closing in on the small opening in the woods. “It’s okay,” Anna cooed. She took Elsa’s hand off the hilt of her sword and placed it in hers. She rubbed her palms over Elsa’s fingers creating friction. 

“Why– What is this?” 

“It’s a wedding, Elsa. It’s our wedding.” Elsa’s eyes had not stilled. They began to rake over the four people who had joined the sisters at their haven.

“I don’t understand.” 

“Then calm down and look at me.” Elsa followed the latter command. The corner of her lip twitched as she took Anna in. Anna could see herself clearly through a reflection caused by the wet sheen on Elsa’s eyes. 

“These people are our friends,” Anna reassured. “They want an end to the civil war. One is a clergyman, the other a counsellor, and then two are witnesses.” These were of the few people Anna had spent years corresponding with and building a tight knit group within the castle. They spent the last day finalizing how to execute this wedding but months planning it. “They have all agreed to help usher in this new fate by marrying us. A princess with magic and a princess with power.” 

“How is this even possible?” 

“Well, it is Arendelain law that the direct descendants of King Agnarr be wed to anyone with noble blood, under one singular circumstance. They must love their betrothed. Elsa, do you love me?” 

“I do.” Elsa was quick and steadfast in her response. 

“Good,” Anna said with a growing smile. “Now ask me the same.” 

“Do you love me?” 

“Yes, Elsa. I do.” Elsa brought her hand over her mouth, she held back a whimper. Her eyebrows contorted. If Anna had a full view of her face she’d see a flash of every named emotion. 

“I thought I came here to say my goodbyes to you.” Elsa cried through her fingers. 

“No, no, no, Elsa. No. From this moment forward you and I only grow together. You risked our lives with every word you ever wrote me. And I risk them under every new moon we have ever shared. I am asking you now to risk taking my hand and letting me lead you in the castle, and in audience of the King and Queen. I am asking you to risk your life on the wager that they cannot again ostracize you. Not in the heart of Arendelle, where you can release your cold hell should they deny the Arendellian law that states that I can have you. Can you risk that? Can you be my wife?” 

Elsa gave a slight nod. She used the hand cupping her mouth to urge the priest forward and then motioned to Anna turn around. Anna felt a large scroll be pressed against her back. “Where?” Elsa whispered. A finger pressed into Anna in a few different places, a quill and Elsa’s signature marked the same spots. Anna stood still as the witnesses took their turns. 

“Thank you,” Elsa said lowly to each one. 

“Now you,” the priest instructed Anna. She caught Elsa’s eyes for a brief moment before her sister removed her sheath and offered Anna her back. Anna was shaking, not from the cold like the others, but from the prospect. She managed a clean signature despite it. The counselor was the last one to look over the document. The others helped him prepare his seal. Anna stood listlessly, and Elsa was still as the document was notarized. It took all of five minutes and it was done. 

“Would you like me to say it?” the priest asked Anna. She nodded shyly. The man waved his hands wordlessly telling everyone to take their places. Elsa did not move. He had to grab her by the shoulders and guide her in front of Anna. He then cleared his throat.

“I now pronounce you Princess Elsa of Arendelle, and you, Princess Anna of Arendelle, wives. You may kiss your bride.” The shock of the statement made Elsa’s eyes go wide and her cheeks flush in a way Anna had only seen during Elsa’s afterglow. Anna closed the distance between them, reaching up to the soldier before her and locking her elbows behind her neck. 

And she wasn’t really bothered by that. Sure, being called predictable was just one step away from being called boring (which, sadly, was also happening quite often), but it was also one step away from being called stable. She built a reputation of a person you can always rely on, given enough heads up.

In short, Elsa liked to always know what to expect from others, and others always knew what to expect from Elsa.

Usually, that is.

“What the fuck, Elsa?” Anna whispered in horror.

Elsa looked down, at Kristoff lying on the floor, holding his bloody nose, and at her still clenched fist.

The room felt deadly silent, despite the horrible quality speakers still blasting music loud enough to hurt your ears.

She looked around, and was met with dozens of faces. Some were amused, some were scared, but all were shocked.

She turned and ran away.

*****

Elsa was predictable, which meant that Anna knew exactly where to find her. She noticed the door opening, and her sister’s socks came into view, as Anna entered her room and sat on the bed Elsa had been hiding under.

Usually, she’d lay on the floor and crawl next to Elsa. This was a worrying sign.

“I’m mad, Elsa.” She heard Anna’s voice from above. “No, I’m pissed off.”

Elsa shuddered a bit, but stayed quiet. Anna continued after a heavy sigh.

“Why?”

“I don’t know.” Elsa whispered, doubting Anna could actually hear her.

“Louder. I can’t understand you.” Anna didn’t bother hiding her annoyance, as Elsa gulped loudly.

“I don’t know.” She repeated, louder.

She could hear the bed shift a little. “You… don’t know?” Anna deadpanned.

Elsa shook her head, forgetting Anna won’t see her. “I don’t.”

The bed shifted again, and the weight disappeared. “Fine, whatever. I am not going to try and dig through your brain for you. Get out of my room and go figure it out. Don’t come back until you do.”

Elsa shivered. “Anna…” She began, but was cut off.

“Get out.”

Elsa nodded to herself and crawled out from under the bed. She stood up, and noticed Anna, who was very purposefully not looking her way.

She moved to the door, when she heard Anna again. “Wait.” She turned to Anna, hopeful.

Anna still refused to meet her eyes. “You didn’t ask, but I will tell you anyway. Kristoff will be fine. He has a broken nose, but he will recover.”

Elsa felt cold as she realized she hadn't even thought about him. She gulped again, nodded, and left.

*****

Elsa was, still, predictable, and so her next hiding spot was near her favorite tree. Now that she thought about it, it wasn’t really her favorite tree; it was Anna’s. Did she even have any special places that weren’t directly tied to Anna?

God, does she even have a life outside of her sister?

All her friends are Anna’s friends. Some were first Elsa’s friends, sure, but most were not, and by now their social circle has become so muddled Elsa and Anna were basically seen as one, with the only exceptions being Kristoff not dating Elsa as well.

They obviously live together, officially in separate rooms, but sleepovers were so common they more often slept in one room than two.

They both started multiple hobbies because of the other, shit, half the stuff they bought was shared.

At this point, they owned more things between each other than alone.

What was she without Anna? Who was Elsa but Anna’s sister?

She really didn’t want to find out.

But at this rate, she might have to.

She took a deep breath, and went a few steps away from the tree. Maybe she could find her own tree?

She noticed a small oak growing near a pond. It was shaped in a near perfect way to just sit down under it and think. Ponder. Ponder over a pond, Anna would love-

Nope! She sighed and looked upwards. Autumn has just begun, and the leaves turned a beautiful red shade, almost exactly like Anna’s hai-

She groaned in her hands. She was hopeless.

She decided to ignore it for now, and focus on the matter at hand.

Her still hurting hand. She massaged her knuckles lightly. Why did she punch him?

She tried to remember back to that moment. The party was in full swing, Kristoff and Anna had just finished a slow, romantic dance and…

She clenched her fist again. He was groping and kissing her. And everyone cheered him on!

Granted, a punch may be a bit of an overkill, but it’s not like he’d hear her over the music! And she had to do something!

Especially since clearly no one else was going to.

But would that answer satisfy Anna? Probably not. Why did seeing him kiss Anna make her so… so angry?

As far as she knew, he was a good boyfriend to her. Anna never really complained.

Though now that she thought about it, she rarely ever talked about him at all.

And, as much as she hated to admit it, Anna did seem to enjoy it.

So why? Why did she hate to admit it? What was wrong with her?

She groaned again, and quickly got up and turned, as she heard footsteps approaching.

“Anna?” Did she follow her here? She did know all of her hiding spots. Well, their hiding spots.

“Nope, just me.” Honeymaren answered, coming into the view, with a sad smile on her face.

“Oh.” Elsa tried to hide her disappointment, as she sat down again. “How did you know where to find me?”

“I didn’t.” Honeymaren responded, sitting down in front of her. “Anna did. Then I followed the sound of frustrated groaning.”

Elsa relaxed slightly. Of course Anna would still care!

“However,” Honeynmaren continued. “she did want me to tell you that she only told me for my sake, not yours. I really wanted to find you.”

“Oh.” That was… worse. But she could work with worse. “So why did you want to find me?”

“Because I have known you for over a decade and never saw you physically assault anyone. I’m worried, Elsa. What happened? Why did you do that?”

Elsa sighed again, refusing to look at her friend’s face. “He was kissing Anna.”

Honeymaren raised an eyebrow at her. “Yes? And she was kissing back? You do know they are a couple, right?”

Elsa hugged her knees and hid her face in them. “Mmph.” She let out something that could pass for a hum of agreement.

She felt a slight nudge at her knee. “Hey, look at me. I can’t help you without understanding you.”

Elsa somehow managed to lift her chin and lean it on her knees to look at her friend. “Help me with what?” She blew away a few annoying strands of hair from her face. “I’m fine.”

“No you’re not.” Honeymaren moved slightly to face her. “You broke Kristoff’s nose.”

“That just means he is not fine now, nothing about me.”

Honeymaren sighed with annoyance. “I can go, you know. If you don’t want to talk there is no reason for me to stay here.”

Elsa actually considered it for a moment. She was not in a mood to talk to anyone other than the one person who made it clear she doesn’t want to, but a fresh perspective may help her figure out the mess in her head. She finally reached out and grabbed Honeymaren’s hand.

“I was angry.” She admitted, stubbornly staring at her friend’s chin.

“Why?”

“I- he was kissing her.” She repeated.

“They were kissing. Both. Consensually.”

Elsa’s stomach did not like the sound of that. “I know, I know.”

“Then why did you phrase it like that?”

Elsa thought for a moment. Indeed, why? “I don’t like when Anna does stuff I don’t want her to. Saying it this way makes it not as apparent.”

“That’s- girl, you need therapy. But right now, why is Anna kissing Kristoff something you don’t want to happen? Is he a bad boyfriend to her?”

“No, not as far as I know. She rarely mentions him to me.”

“Does that bother you?”

Elsa forced herself to meet Honeymaren’s eyes. “Of course it bothers me.”

“Why? Don’t you have parts of your life you don’t share with her?”

She didn’t even have to consider that. “No, not really.”

“That- I will be honest, that does not sound healthy.”

Elsa looked away again. “Why do you think so?”

Honeymaren cleared her throat. “Because it led you to assault her boyfriend? Out of some weird possessiveness or jealousy?”

Yet another frustrated groan escaped her. “You have a point.”

“I know I do. Now, look at me.” She didn’t move. “Please, Elsa, I need to see your face for the last question. For the years we spent together, please.”

Elsa lifted her face again.

Honeymaren continued. “Did you want to be there instead of Kristoff?”

Elsa was struck. She never considered that before. Did she?

But before she could come up with an answer, Honeymaren must have found it on her face. She sighed sadly. “As I thought. You know, I had this massive crush on you for years now.” She got up. “Glad I dodged that bullet. Though, clearly, it was never an option. Goodbye Elsa. Don’t contact me again.”

And with that, she was gone, and Elsa was left more confused and lost than ever before.

*****

Elsa was trying to be less predictable, and was now walking around, in a circle, having found a new spot near a small creek. Honeymaren’s reaction was hurtful, but left her with a lot to think about. As much as she hated admitting it, she probably was a bit too close with Anna. That was hard to argue against (despite her best efforts).

She decided to focus again on Honeymaren’s last question. Did she want to be in Kristoff’s place? To dance with Anna, to kiss Anna, to be with Anna?

Elsa, in truth, was a coward. She didn’t like confrontation. She avoided it whenever she could. She didn’t even try to stop her second best friend from leaving her life. And she ran from this truth for years now. But the circumstances forced her to stop and think. And she did not like the conclusion.

She took a deep breath, and let herself break down on the soft moss.

*****

Elsa was old fashioned. When she realized that apologizing to Kristoff was probably the most valid reason she had to delay the conversation with Anna, she decided on a handwritten letter.

Dear Kristoff.

I am sorry f̶o̶r̶ ̶p̶u̶n̶c̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶f̶a̶c̶e̶.

No, that was terrible.

b̶r̶e̶a̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶n̶o̶s̶e̶.

She groaned, again, which seemed to be her favorite way of expression today, and leaned back in her chair. She was useless at this. How do you even do that?

Hey I know I broke your nose but I was posessively jealous of my sister who consented to being with you?

That… probably would not fly. Maybe he’d appreciate the honesty at least.

She laid her hand on the desk, and cried a bit. There is no way she can do this properly before her talk with Anna. Especially since she honestly couldn’t care about Kristoff at the moment, her heart apparently deciding that she has lived a long enough life and it wouldn’t hurt to break some ribs.

With the last, extremely loud groan, she crushed her pathetic excuses at an apology, took a deep breath, and went to see her sister.

*****

Elsa was completely and utterly useless.

“Shut up.” She said, cleaning her face in a sink. After making the brave choice of talking with the most important person in her life, she went to hide in the toilet and apparently tried to drown herself in the sink.

“If I’m now arguing with myself about how much I hate myself, Honeymaren was probably right with therapy.” She muttered to herself, washing her face again. Somehow, the obvious signs she has been crying would not go away.

*****

Elsa was at her limit. She knew, logically, that every delay would make it worse and worse. And that there was a lot to talk about, and a lot to figure out. If Anna would even want to talk to her, that is. She took another, so-deep-it-hurts-her-lungs breath, and turned back to the door.

She paced for a bit, trying to calm herself down before the inevitable. It failed, but she was on a mission damnit, and so she forced herself to open the door. Anna was sitting by her desk, doodling something. She turned to face her, a scowl still on her face.

“And? Have you figured it out?” She spat out at Elsa, who flinched and looked down.

“I have.” She took another deep breath, in hopes of calming herself. “I-” It didn’t work.

She looked back up at her sister, still waiting for her answer with a hard look on her face. And whatever was to happen next, Elsa did not want to ever again see that look directed at her.

She inhaled again. “I think I’m in love with you.”

Anna’s eyes softened at that. “Of course you are.” She gestured for Elsa to sit on her bed. “And I am too.”

Elsa was very glad to have sat down, considering her life just got turned upside down again. Her mind exploded with all the possibilities and-

“But I need to make something very clear with you, Elsa.” Elsa’s mind stopped again, and she felt a shiver run down her back. “I am not your fucking property. What you feel towards me doesn’t make it okay to beat up people who I chose to be with, you understand me?”

Elsa looked back up again, and while still clearly angry, Anna looked a lot calmer now. Fortunately, this wasn’t difficult to agree with. She nodded, and Anna visibly relaxed, though not completely.

“So, what the fuck do we do now?” Anna continued after a brief pause.

“What do you mean?”

Anna sighed heavily. “How do we fix this?”

Elsa’s mouth was hanging open. “I-” She didn’t know what to continue, and was glad to have been interrupted.

“Or did you assume we would get together and live incesty forever after?! Jesus, Elsa, I am in love with you and you are in love with me! What do we do?!” Elsa finally properly looked at Anna, for the first time since this morning. Her eyes were red and puffy, already watering again, and she looked at Elsa with terror in her eyes.

Seeing her so distraught finally broke Elsa out of her stupor. She stood up and embraced Anna. She hoped it came off as what it was intended as - a supportive Big Sister Hug.

It must have, because Anna embraced her back and started crying into her shoulder. Elsa began rubbing her back and silently crying herself.

“I don’t know.” She finally whispered. “I have no idea how or when this happened, but we will figure it out.”

They both cried for a while, before settling down on Anna’s bed.

Eventually, Anna sniffled and started talking again. “Do you know why I’m with Kristoff?”

Elsa froze for a moment, and shook her head.

“It was the only thing that was mine, that wasn’t yours as well. I didn’t- don’t really care about him that much, you know? But when he asked me out, I saw an opportunity to make my own decisions, to be my own person.”

Elsa continued stroking Anna’s hair. “I think we fucked up. Don’t know what exactly we messed up, but we did.”

Anna snorted lightly through her tears. “Nothing gets past you, does it?”

Elsa joined in the forced laughter. “Nothing except for my own feelings, apparently.”

She felt a slight tinge on her nose, as Anna flicked it. “How can you be so smart and so dumb at the same time?”

“Well, sometimes I think it’s a-” She trailed off for a bit, and continued, quieter. “-a family trait.”

An ever more awkward silence fell on them. This was going to be tough.

She loudly swallowed, and whispered. “I think I… may have an idea.”

Hopeful eyes met her own, and for just a moment, everything was perfect.

*****

Elsa was extremely tired of her self loathing narration, and decided to focus on the present. She closed the trunk of her car.

“You’ve got everything?” Anna asked her, holding back tears.

“Oh, definitely not.” Elsa, a bit better at acting, replied in an almost steady voice. “But I won’t notice until I need it. I’m a big girl now, I will make it work.” She forced a smile, which Anna returned.

“That you will. You always do.”

They stood in their backyard, moving Elsa’s thing into the car. While earlier opposed to the idea, she has decided to take advantage of being accepted into the country’s best university (that she mostly applied to for the ego boost) she received. It was the best education she could hope for, fully paid for, and most importantly - too far away for a weekend back at home. They both agreed it’d give them the best chance of actually taking a break from each other’s presence and developing on their own. They also both booked appointments with therapists - Anna here, Elsa near the university she was going to.

They both hated it.

“I don’t think I can do this.” Anna said with a shaky voice. “Stay, please.”

Elsa paused mid step at that. She wished for nothing more than to agree. Her heart broke, as she replied. “You know I can’t. You know we both need this.”

Anna almost tackled her to the ground with the tightest hug she ever felt. “I know that. But I don’t want to know it.”

Elsa lightly moved her fingers through Anna’s hair. “The same urge on my end led us to where we are now.”

They stood for a moment longer, as Anna composed herself and moved away, turning slightly. “I think… I think we shouldn’t contact each other until the winter break. Other than ‘I am safe and alive.’”

Elsa stayed silent for a moment, fighting with tears. “Yes.” She finally whispered. “That’d be for the best.”

They took in the last moment together, and Elsa finally asked the question she was meaning to for the past week. “What do we do if it doesn’t go away?”

Anna met her eyes again. “I don’t know. I don’t- I won’t make any promises now. Let’s just… focus on becoming more independent, okay? Everything else is secondary.”

Elsa felt like she could breathe again, even if just slightly. She could live with that. “Sometimes I think you’re the older, wiser sister, you know?”

Anna proudly lifted her chin and put on a confident face. “Just imagine how much wiser I’d be if I actually was.” She broke her act, and ran for the one last embrace. “Goodbye, Elsa.”

While the voting for the Spice prompt is ongoing, we are overlapping with the pre-planned February Special Event. Continuing the tradition from last year, for this month we have planned something a little different from our usual contests. We're celebrating passing the milestone of 500 submissions total over the six years of the contests by bringing back some memories.

Like last year, we will be compiling an e-book of short stories, each with an unique prompt behind it. However this year we are opening the call to artists as well. To take part in the creation of it, you simply need to sign up, reserve a prompt, write the story or draw a piece that fits it and the compilation requirements (below) and submit it to us by February 29th!

The whole event will be NON-ANONYMOUS, so your credits will be included in the e-book right away. Like last year, the ebook will be released in .pdf and .epub formats. Two PDF versions will be available to download, one with art and one without (the EPUB version will not contain art by default). You can choose to be featured by your standard fandom nickname or any other nickname of your choice.

Art pieces will also be posted (if you don't have a tumblr account) or reblogged (if you do) on our blog.

REQUIREMENTS

All submissions, art and writing, will need to adhere to these requirements: - Anna and Elsa are at the very least romantically interested in each other (one sided counts as well) - Anna and Elsa are both: at least 15 years old (for stories rated G and above, for sfw art); at least 18 years old (for stories rated M, for nsfw art) - our usual contest rules for content apply!

All the stories will need to adhere to these requirements: - word count between 500 and 2,000 words - one story per author (subject to change depending on interest) - up to M rating - oneshot or otherwise self-contained story

All the art pieces will need to a adhere to these requirements: - vertical/portrait orientation - one piece per artist (subject to change depending on interest) - no nudity/censored for the sake of posting on tumblr (uncensored versions absolutely fine for ebook) - no explicit depictions of sexual acts

HOW TO SIGN UP

This step is simple - join us on discord and reserve a prompt in the monthlies channel. Since the list of available prompts will be prone to rapid changes, this step requires the use of Discord for full clarity between the people involved. - the prompts will be reserved on the First Come, First Serve principle - you will be able to ‘trade’ prompts with others later on - reserving a prompt means signing up as Event Author/Artist - you can only reserve one prompt (subject to change) - if you are truly unable to join the server please contact us privately

WHAT ARE THE PROMPTS

Lineup for this month: 1. A Piece of Me Left in You 2. The Bazaar of the Realms 3. NightLink 4. A Life Worth Living 5. Vanilla Blooms 6. Anna's secret 11 spices and axiety disorders 7. Snow Diplomacy 8. It Doesn't Count 9. a pinch of salt

Vote for your favorite story and give kudos to two other stories. Don’t give kudos to your favorite story - this will make the kudos vote not count!

Please reblog this post when you see it to make sure it reaches the fans that might want to read the stories but don’t follow our blog yet - due to tumblr’s linking policy, it’s possible it will not to show up in the tag!

“Mom, we can make lattes here.” Elsa sighed, crumbling the empty bag and brushing off her apron.

“Yes, but that little shop on the corner has the egg sandwiches your father loves. And I just want him to be happy, he’s really struggling.” Iduna dipped her head and placed a small paper bag and a coffee cup on the counter near Elsa. 

“I know.”

“I got you some food too, I can’t just go in there and buy one sandwich, that would be weird.” Iduna laughed, it sounded a little forced but Elsa chose to ignore it.

“Well, you can, but thank you I didn’t have time to make anything.”

“Hmm, I figured and you can drink this coffee now while I get our machine set up.”

“Thank you, Mom.” Elsa opened the paper bag and took out the egg sandwich. her mom smiled and disappeared through another door that led to the upstairs. She glanced over at the mixer, debating for a moment before she leaned back and ate. Better to eat it while it’s hot, the cupcakes could wait a few minutes.

***

“And that wraps up today’s cafe adventure, make sure to leave a comment with your suggestion for my next cafe. Thanks for watching!” Anna smiled and held of the peace sign, counting to three in my head before she flipped the phone around and stopped the recording.

She took a sip of her drink and looked around the busy cafe, glad that she had long since grown out of being embarrassed of filming herself in public. Truly no one really cared, specially in cafes where folks were in and out with a snack and drink or deeply buried in their work of choice — hunched over laptops. 

Anna pulled out her own laptop, a few minutes later she was deep in editing mode, headphones on, computer glasses askew. A little notepad sat next to her where her marked notes for a voice voice she would record later.

The cafe thinned out around her, settling into the mid-afternoon calm before the teenagers and after-workers descended in masses. This was Anna’s favorite time at any cafe when she could really look around and enjoy the decor and little unique touches. This place was rather ordinary. Anna found herself stretching to come up with some positive things to say.

“Miss, we have two hour limit unless you buy something.” A tired looking barista said.

“Oh I’m sorry, I’ll just pack up and get out of your hair.” Anna smiled and the barista just sighed and nodded, drifting off to another table. Anna debated buying something on her way out as an apology, but the only non-drink items were some basic-looking chocolate chip cookies. She shoved her laptop in her backpack and shouldered.

“One cookie please,”

“Sure,” the person behind the counter said, scooping the cookie into a paper bag and handing it over in one smooth action.

Outside the cafe, the early evening was just starting to kiss the city, long shadows and slow traffic. She started walking, no destination, just to wonder till it got dark and then she would navigate the subway system home from wherever she ended up.

She passed a homeless man, sitting on a small blanket with his back leaned against a wall. People passed without paying him much mind. Anna approached and he eyed her but made no other moves.

“Here, I just bought it,” Anna said, offering him the cookie.

A weather-worn hand reached out and grabbed the bag, “Thank you, young lady.” He said offering a smile.

Anna returned it before continuing, hopefully the cookie would brighten his day a bit.

“Jimmy get the door.” A woman shouted once Anna rounded a corner. Only Anna didn’t see a woman, she only saw a stack of purple boxes wobbling towards a waiting town car and a panicked-looking young boy who was opening the door while his eyes, wide and frightened, stared at the stack of purple.

Anna held her breath but the woman was able to safely get the boxes into the back seat and she breathed out a sigh of relief at the same time as the boy. The pair of strangers disappeared into the car and it pulled away into traffic. She glanced at where the woman had come from and was surprised to find a combo cafe and bakery.

She pulled out her phone and googled the location. ‘Fjord Flavors Bakery’ popped up on maps but lacked a website or any social media. Anna’s interest spiked, this could be the hidden gem she’s been looking for for her web series.

She walked up to the door at the same time someone did from the other side of the glass. A woman. Tall and blonde, stood inside the shop. She looked at Anna for a moment as if waiting for something before she reached up and flipped the sign on the door to closed. She pointed with a long finger to a faded paper sign with hours before turning her back and walked away.

Anna was left speechless and intrigued, she needed to know more. She attempted to look through the windows at the bakery counter but the lights were flipped off and Anna was left staring at her own reflection.

***

Elsa pushed through the door to the back and hung up her apron. It was quiet now in the back room save for a faint hum from the walk-in fridge.

“Hi sweetie,” Iduna said, opening to door to the apartment upstairs. “I scrubbed the floors and wiped everything down already. You just need to take the trash out.”

“Thanks Mom,” Elsa said, rolling her sleeves up. “What did you want for dinner?”

“Oh, your father really wants Chinese takeout if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, that will work,” Elsa said with a sigh. “I’ll just get my usual. I’ll be up after this.”

“Alright sweetheart, I’ll call Wok The Block.” Her mother disappeared through the door. Elsa took the trash out, wrinkling her nose at the smell and pretending not to see the rats scurrying away from the shared dumpster.

She looked up at the glowing window of the second floor where she shared an apartment with her parents. This wasn’t where she had imagined herself being but life is weird like that.

“Hey dad,” Elsa said as she finally walked into the apartment. “How are you feeling?”

“Oh, I’m doing great honey, I think I can come downstairs and help tomorrow.” Her father replied, his voice raspy.

“That’s great dad.” Elsa forced a small smile, it was the same every day. But he was never well enough the next day. She often flipped between annoyed and missing the man her father used to be before he got sick, before Elsa came back home to help.

  ***

Anna held up a hand to shield her eyes from the early morning bright sun, well early for her anyway. She was making her way back to Fjord Flavors Bakery, she needed to scope it out and make sure they were okay with her filming a vlog in there. Most places had no issue but she always asked anyway.

The bakery was fairly busy with sleepy patrons and frantic-looking folks of intern age. It smelled like a lovely mix of coffee and fresh bread with a hint of sweetness. There were stacks of purple boxes in various sizes on nearly every counter behind the register and the sparking large glass case showcased everything from chocolate moose cake to simple bagels.

Anna was captivated, her eyes darting around the small shop, bouncing from various things in the glass display case to the handwritten menu board. She didn’t notice she was next in line till a warm voice cut through her thoughts.

“What can I get you this morning?”

Anna blinked and chewed on her lip. “Um, a vanilla latte and a—“ She looked over at the case, noticing the blonde woman from last night for the first time. She had a baseball hat pulled down low on her face, hiding most of it in shadow as she moved with an almost floating grace, putting goods in boxes or bags.

“Sweetheart?” The woman at the register asked again. She was older but looked much like the blonde woman, at least from what Anna remembered from the few seconds she saw her on the other side of the glass.

“A chocolate muffin please.”

“Good choice, you can tap your card when you’re ready.”  She didn’t wait for Anna to finish paying before turning around to begin working on Anna’s latte.

As Anna waited for her latte and chocolate muffin, she couldn’t shake the feeling of anticipation that fluttered in her chest. The bustling atmosphere of Fjord Flavors Bakery seemed to envelop her. She pulled out her phone on instinct, realizing at that moment that she forgot to ask about filming, too distracted with the baked goods. And, if she was honest, the younger of the two women behind the counter. Something about her just captivated Anna.

Lost in her thoughts, Anna’s eyes inadvertently met those of the mysterious blonde woman. A brief moment passed between them, a flicker of recognition that left Anna both intrigued and slightly unnerved. The woman’s gaze was penetrating, as if she could see through Anna entirely.

The older woman at the register, likely the mother of the intriguing figure behind the counter, smiled at Anna, snapping her out of the momentary trance. “Sweetheart, your card didn’t go through.”

Anna fumbled for her wallet and tapped her card again, grateful for the distraction. Once the reader beeped the older woman nodded her head and handed over her latte and muffin — enclosed in a little purple bag. Anna stepped away from the counter and took a sip of her latte before turning on one heal — committing before she could change her mind, and approached the younger woman who was still engrossed in her work.

“Hi,” Anna began, her voice carrying a hint of nervousness. “I was here last night, and I’m Anna, and I’m a food blogger. I was wondering if it’s okay for me to film a vlog here. Your bakery is so charming, and I’d love to share it with my audience.”

The blonde woman, her eyes still concealed beneath the shadow of the hat, looked up from her task. There was a pause, a moment of silence that stretched, leaving Anna wondering if she had overstepped a boundary.

But then, to Anna’s surprise, a small smile tugged at the corners of the woman’s lips. “Sure, you can film. Just try not to get in the way too much. We’ve got a busy morning ahead.”

Anna beamed with gratitude, her excitement bubbling over. “Thank you so much! I promise I’ll be quiet as a mouse. Your bakery is truly special, and I want to capture its magic.”

The woman’s smile vanished. “Can you not put my face in your video? You can film my mom, Iduna, she loves attention.”

“Yeah of course, no problem-o uh… I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name.”

“Because I didn’t give it, I usually don’t, but maybe I’ll tell you.” The blonde shrugged and turned around to busy herself with some other task, effectively ending the conversion.

Anna retreated to a corner, setting up her camera and adjusting the frame. The bakery’s ambiance, the hum of activity, and the tantalizing aroma of fresh pastries served as the backdrop for her vlog.

As Anna began recording, she couldn’t help stealing glances at the blonde woman, who continued working with a quiet intensity. The exchange between them felt charged with unspoken intrigue, a dance of curiosity and captivation.

***

Elsa continued her meticulous work behind the counter, arranging pastries with practiced precision. The rhythmic hum of the bakery machinery and the murmur of customers created a familiar symphony around her. She was engrossed in the delicate dance of crafting confections, her mind focused on the artistry of each creation.

The arrival of this new customer, Anna, occupied Elsa’s thoughts. She had observed the woman from beneath the shadow of her hat, curious about the stranger who had locked eyes with her the night before. Elsa’s eyes, sharp and discerning, followed Anna’s movements as she fumbled for her wallet and paid for her order.

Her mother, ever knowing glanced her way and gave her daughter a smirk. Elsa could swear that woman was some kind of mind-reading witch sometimes.

When the woman turned away from the counter, Elsa felt her heart sink a little only to have it completely flip over and she couldn’t help but feel a flutter of anticipation as she approached. There was something about this food blogger, Anna, that piqued her curiosity, a blend of charm and nervous energy that resonated with the essence of the baking itself.

Anna’s voice, smooth and kind sounding, reached Elsa’s ears and rang through them like a gentle song. The request to film a vlog seemed to echo through the busy bakery, and Elsa found herself torn between the desire to share Fjord Flavors’ story and the instinctive need to guard her own privacy.

The moment of silence that followed stretched, and Elsa locked eyes with Anna. The intensity of the gaze exchanged between them held a silent understanding, a recognition of the delicate balance they were navigating. When Anna’s request was met with a small smile, Elsa allowed a fraction of relief to wash over her.

“Sure, you can film. Just try not to get in the way too much. We’ve got a busy morning ahead,” Elsa replied, her tone measured. The decision to allow the filming was not without hesitation, but she couldn’t deny the bakery’s newfound visibility had its benefits. They needed more customers, they were barely breaking even as it was.

Anna’s gratitude beamed like a ray of sunshine, but Elsa’s smile faltered when the request about her face being excluded from the video surfaced. The vulnerability beneath the confident exterior became apparent. “Can you not put my face in your video? You can film my mom, Iduna; she loves attention,” Elsa stated, her voice carrying a mix of firmness and vulnerability.

“Yeah, of course, no problem-o, uh… I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name,” Anna responded, her enthusiasm tempered by the subtle shift in the conversation.

“Because I didn’t give it. I usually don’t, but maybe I’ll tell you,” Elsa said with a shrug, turning her attention back to her tasks. The brief exchange left an air of mystery hanging between them, an unspoken understanding that some stories were meant to be guarded.

As Anna retreated to a corner to set up her camera, Elsa returned to her craft, the dance of creation resuming amidst the inviting aroma of freshly baked pastries. The bakery’s ambiance, now subtly altered by the presence of a camera, continued to weave its magic, leaving Elsa to navigate the intricate dance between visibility and the sanctuary of the shadows.

****

Anna’s vlog unfolded seamlessly, capturing the essence of Fjord Flavors Bakery with a blend of charm and authenticity. Anna highlighted the meticulous craftsmanship behind each pastry, the warm interactions between staff and customers, and the unique charm that set the bakery apart.

The mysterious blonde woman, now a central figure in Anna’s narrative, moved gracefully through the frames, her hands expertly crafting delicate pastries. Anna didn’t realize until she was editing how much footage she got of the woman. That was not like her to make that much B-Roll.

The vlog, however, resonated with Anna’s audience, who eagerly embraced the enchanting story of Fjord Flavors. Within a few hours, it was already set to be one of her top posts. This was truly the hidden gem she had been looking for — she couldn’t wait to get back and film more.

As the week unfolded, the bakery continued to buzz with activity. The patrons, now aware of the filming, exchanged smiles with Anna. The atmosphere was charged with a sense of community, a shared appreciation for the hidden gem that had captured their hearts.

As Anna packed up her equipment, a few days later the older woman approached her, her eyes reflecting a mix of warmth and curiosity. “You’ve got a way of capturing the soul of a place,” she said. “We’re glad to have you share our story.”

Anna smiled, touched by the genuine sentiment. “It’s a special place, and your daughter… she’s something else. There’s a magic about her.”

The older woman’s eyes twinkled knowingly. “Elsa has always had a touch of magic. It’s what makes Fjord Flavors what it is. Don’t tell her father I said that though, he built the place.”

“Elsa,” Anna repeated, tasting the letters for the first time.

“Hmm, I don’t think I was supposed to tell you her name. Silly old me.” Iduna said, failing to hide a smirk. She turned and walked away before Anna could reply, disappearing into the back room.

“Elsa.” Anna repeated to herself as she glanced over to the counter again where Elsa herself was polishing the top of the glass case. Her hat pulled down so low that Anna could only see the very edge of her chin.

***

Elsa wiped her hands on her apron, the remnants of flour clinging to the fabric. The bustling activity of the bakery had quieted as closing time approached. Iduna, joined her behind the counter, offering a weary but affectionate smile.

“Another day is done,” Iduna remarked, her eyes reflecting a mix of exhaustion and resilience.

Elsa nodded, the weight of responsibility settling on her shoulders. “Let’s clean up and head upstairs. Dad’s probably waiting.”

Together, they moved with a practiced efficiency, tidying up the bakery with a shared understanding of the routine. The aroma of the day’s creations lingered in the air, a comforting scent that masked the underlying concerns both women carried.

Once the last tray was stored, Elsa locked the front door. They ascended the narrow staircase that led to the second floor. As they entered the apartment, the atmosphere shifted from the warmth of the bakery to a more intimate, subdued setting. The living room was adorned with family photos and traces of the life they had built together. Soft light illuminated the room, casting a gentle glow.

Elsa’s father was in his favorite chair, a worn blanket draped over his frail shoulders. His eyes, once vibrant, now held a weariness that spoke of battles fought within. Despite his illness, a flicker of a smile appeared and he sat up straighter as he saw Elsa and Iduna enter.

“Hey, Dad,” Elsa greeted, her voice carrying a mix of tenderness and concern. It had been months now and he hadn’t shown any progress. “How was your day?”

He coughed softly, a reminder of the fragility that had settled in and Elsa was painfully reminded that they couldn’t afford the medicine that could help him. “Same as always, sweetheart. You girls working too hard down there?”

Iduna leaned down to kiss his forehead. “You know us, always keeping things running.”

Elsa fetched a glass of water from the kitchen, handing it to her father. As he took a sip, his eyes met Elsa’s, and an unspoken understanding passed between them. The weight of their shared reality hung in the air.

“I’ll start dinner,” Iduna suggested, attempting to infuse the moment with normalcy.

Elsa remained by her father’s side, her hand gently resting on his. “You doing okay, Dad?”

He sighed, his gaze distant. “Just tired, sweetheart. But seeing you and your mother’s faces at the end of the day makes it all worthwhile. Your mother tells me the bakery has been a video-er the last few days.”

“Yes, we’re not paying her but it seems to be helping business.”

“I heard she’s really sweet and pretty and your mother told me I have to tell you to talk to her.” A familiar twinkle danced across her father’s eyes.

“I’ll try Dad.” Elsa replied, not sure how much she believed her own words.

Her father smiled and leaned his head back, closing his eyes. Elsa squeezed his hand, a mixture of love and sorrow coursing through her. The trio settled into the familiar routine of an evening together, finding solace in the shared moments that transcended the challenges they faced.

As the evening unfolded, the soft hum of family echoed through the apartment—a fragile melody that held within it the strength of love, resilience, and the unwavering bond that anchored them in the face of life’s uncertainties.

***

The following week unfolded with a rhythm of anticipation as Anna returned to Fjord Flavors Bakery. The atmosphere had shifted subtly as if the bakery itself recognized the growing curiosity that surrounded it.

Elsa, the elusive figure behind the counter, continued her work with a quiet determination. Her hat pulled low, veiled her expression, leaving Anna to wonder about the stories concealed beneath the surface. The name “Elsa” echoed in Anna’s mind like a secret she was on the verge of unraveling.

As Anna set up her camera for another day of filming, she couldn’t help but feel a magnetic pull toward the enigmatic blonde woman. It was a dance of curiosity and respect, a delicate balance that Anna had grown accustomed to navigating.

The day unfolded with the familiar symphony of Fjord Flavors—the hum of machinery, the aroma of fresh pastries, and the chatter of contented patrons. Anna’s lens captured the intricate details of the bakery, from the artful arrangement of desserts to the interactions between staff and customers.

While filming, Elsa’s hands worked their magic with practiced finesse. The vlog became a canvas, each frame painted with the passion and dedication that Elsa poured into her creations. Anna couldn’t deny the magnetic allure that Elsa exuded, and her camera seemed drawn to the mysterious pastry chef.

As the day wound down and Anna packed up her equipment, Iduna approached once more, her eyes twinkling with a knowing gleam. “You’ve been capturing the essence of Fjord Flavors beautifully, dear. My daughter may be a bit of a mystery, I’m afraid. There’s a reason I suppose, but I think she needs someone to talk to.”

Anna nodded, grateful for the hospitality she had received. “Thank you,” she paused before continuing, weighing her words. “Do you think I’m the person to talk to her? I’m just a vlogger, I can’t say I’m really friends with Elsa.”

Iduna chuckled softly. “Well, dear, I watch your vlogs and I know my daughter,” She looked directly into Anna’s eyes, her expression hard to read. “Sure, sometimes the best stories are the ones left untold. But I have a feeling Elsa might be willing to share a bit more, given the right nudge.” She winked and walked away.

Encouraged by Iduna’s words, Anna glanced over at Elsa, who was now meticulously arranging a display of delicate pastries. The hat cast a shadow over her features. Anna swallowed, she wanted nothing more than to have a meaningful conversation with Elsa. Even with her face covered, the woman drew Anna in like a moth to a flame.

Approaching Elsa with a newfound resolve, Anna couldn’t suppress the curiosity that fueled her, if Elsa was a cliff, she willingly jumped over the edge.

“Elsa?” Anna began.

Elsa jumped and visibly tensed, forcing Anna to fall silent. She turned slowly, cold blue eyes locking with Anna’s. There was fear there, a panic that stirred under the surface. And Anna wanted nothing more than to reach out and calm the storm.

“Elsa?” Anna tried again and was met with a scowl as Elsa rushed forward and placed a hand over her mouth.

“How did you learn my name?” Elsa demanded in a hushed whisper. Anna was distracted by how close their bodies were, never mind the strong hand over her mouth. With Elsa this close she could really see her face and the delicate features, the sharp cheekbones, the soft lips. She was beautiful.

She looked familiar…

Someone cleared their throat on the other side of the bakery and Elsa stepped back, letting her hand fall but her eyes never left Anna.

“Come into the back, we need to talk.”

“Aye aye, Captain,” Anna mumbled, she ran over to her bag and scooped up her belongings before following Elsa behind the counter and through the door into the back room.

***

The back room offered a small reprieve from the prying eyes in the bakery. Elsa closed the door behind them, the muffled sounds of the bakery now distant. She turned to face Anna, the air between them charged with unspoken tension.

Anna broke the silence first. “Okay, spill. Why the secrecy, Elsa? Which, by the way, your mom told me, alright?”

Elsa sighed, feeling the weight of the years of hiding settle on her shoulders. “I’m sorry I touched you without asking, it just caught me off guard and I got scared.” She took off her hat and ran a hand through her hair, letting her bangs fall. “As for the name thing… well, that’s on me. I should’ve been more careful I guess. But the secrecy, it’s a long story.”

Anna grinned, and Elsa could sense her eagerness and curiosity. “Long stories are my specialty. Lay it on me.”

Elsa motioned for Anna to sit at a small well-worn table in the corner. The old chair creaked as she sat down and gathered her thoughts, her gaze fixed on the floor. She was so tired of hiding, but so scared of being open. Yet this weird nerdy girl with a camera that kept coming back day after day had worn down a wall. And Elsa felt this urge to open up to her. Anna felt safe, and she liked that feeling.

With a sigh, she decided to just open the floodgates and see what happened. “I used to be a TV chef, you know? A pretty famous one, actually,” Elsa began, the memories stirring a mix of nostalgia and regret. “I had my own cooking show, traveled the world, won awards. It was everything I thought I wanted.”

Anna’s eyes widened with genuine surprise. “You were a TV chef? Seriously? That’s amazing! That’s why you look so familiar, I used to watch your shows. I was so upset you lost Iron Chef, that judge was stupid. Why’d you stop?”

Elsa sighed again, the weight of the past pressing upon her. “It’s a glamorous life, but it comes at a cost. The constant scrutiny, the pressure to maintain an image. I felt like I was losing myself. And then my dad got sick. So, one day, I decided to step away. I came back here, to my family’s bakery.”

Anna’s excitement tempered with understanding. “But why the secrecy? You could’ve been a sensation, Elsa! People would love to know the famous TV chef behind Fjord Flavors.”

Elsa’s eyes met Anna’s, revealing a vulnerability that went beyond the façade she had carefully crafted. “I don’t want the fame, Anna. I found solace here, away from the spotlight. I wanted to be able to focus on my dad and help him, and I did till my money ran out.” She picked at a piece of dried flour on her apron. I didn’t want people to see the TV chef; I didn’t want the food critics coming here and tearing this place apart just because I was famous. I just wanted them to enjoy the pastries.”

Anna nodded, absorbing the sincerity in Elsa’s words. “You’re not just hiding from the world; you’re hiding from your past. From who you used to be.”

Elsa simply nodded.

Anna’s gaze softened “You know, Elsa, I get it. Fame isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. But your story, it’s captivating. People would understand.”

Elsa offered a small, appreciative smile and stood up. “Wait here.” She ran up the stairs into the apartment, pausing to check on her father who was softly snoring away. After grabbing the box she was looking for she ran back downstairs to find Anna looking around at the various machines.

“Look, I don’t know if this is the right thing or not, but if anyone was going to break the news that Chef Elsa has been here in this little bakery, I want it to be you.” Elsa held out the box to Anna who took it with a confused look.

“What’s this?”

“It’s a bunch of my old TV stuff, tapes, and photos, things you can use in your video. Everything in that box is all yours, consider it a gift.”

“No Elsa, I can’t take this,” Anna said, handing the box back. “You kept your privacy for so long, why now suddenly?”

“Because maybe you’re right. I thought people would judge me. But as you pointed out, people would understand. And I’m selfish for not using my fame to help my dad. So here we are.”

“Okay, but I have a better idea than I box of the past.” Anna bit her lip and looked up at the ceiling.  “Two things, first, let’s let up an interview and I’ll film it. Second, let’s go on a date, get dressed up, have some drinks, and just talk about whatever.”

A warm feeling bubbled up inside Elsa and she couldn’t help but smile. “You mean that?”

“Well yeah, I have my camera stuff with me.”

“No, about the date?”

Anna’s face turned bright red. “Oh I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have overstepped, I just thought that uh… I’m sorry.”