Stars may collide

So I’ve barely stuck to my resolutions from last year but it has been the best year I’ve had in a long time. I’m going to go ahead and say I am no longer depressed, bad days are only bad days and I am not so hard on myself for everything. I went to a life coach rather than a counselor, and while it may have coincided with me feeling better anyway, I appreciated that she had a whole different approach, plus she sends cute texts and cards. I didn’t compose anything but I did finish my arrangement of The Hunchback of Notre Dame in collaboration with Ross in CWE and we performed the first half of it! I’ve not really gone to more shows or concerts but that’s okay. I found 2 jobs this year, one with Jazz from Scotland which was not really enough to occupy me but it has been good, plus the more recent one at Scottish Ballet which is a proper full-time job in a proper national company. The main thing is, it’s not Wagamama! Of course I didn’t get fit or learn to drive coz I never do. I have been an okay friend to some people this year. I have also drifted apart from some friends I didn’t expect to, but given I am feeling way better I think that’s maybe indicative of how those relationships were. And I hope they are better without me too, even if we fell out over something petty, it’s not worth fixing anymore. And my Greek needs work but it’s okay for a complete beginner I think. For 2019:

Manage my work better (i.e. don’t forget about Jazz from Scotland).

Move out.

Make more friends.

Learn to drive.

Get fit.

Learn more Greek.

Shop more ethically.

Last year’s resolutions were difficult. I have still avoided much composing all year, taking another year of suspended study at the moment. But that was very much a product of what turned out to be proper depression, along with other things. Which I suppose did address my resolution of figuring out where my head was at. I felt so awful for the majority of the year, like if I thought 2016 was bad, 2017 was worse. However, things did improve after Harold broke up with me in October. I did love him, but we weren’t very healthy for each other, and I think I indulged in feeling sad with him, in a way I have learned to do less of since we broke up. In actual fact I have had more of a social life in the last two months than I had for the entirety of the rest of 2016, which has kept me more occupied and meant I have had more fun. Which has been really good, and I feel so much better. I still have bad days but I have hope for improvement, which is more than I had before. I have subsequently been a better friend as well, I would like to think, and have made peace with certain things that I was really torn up over, and can hopefully be there for my friends more now. And of course I didn’t get fit or learn to drive. This was not the year I was going to finally do it. But anyway, I feel much more positive about this year.

Keep getting better and less depressed, but don’t worry if there are still bad days, they are only bad days.

Get back into composing/arranging, don’t be afraid to experiment.

Go to more concerts/shows.

Try to find a job in creative industries.

Learn to drive.

Attempt to get more fit.

Be a more proactive friend.

Learn Greek.