i'm awesome.

Awesome! We’d love to have you on the team. We’re a blast.

I don't know how good I am at it, but that's alright, I guess. Do you have tryouts anytime soon or is it walk on?

You should do it!

Yeah! I might, actually.

Yeah, it is! Have you thought of joining our swim team?

Whoa, that'd be cool, I haven't thought of that. 

That’s all I’m waiting for, pretty much. I can get all my Sweethearts for like 90 cents and it’s great.

I just want the Reese's peanut butter hearts. They kinda look like butts, though. 

… Uh, yeah, seriously!

Sweet! Swimming is rad.

Please, I don’t need to be told that guys think I’m hot. I already know that.

Really? You're drowning in D, bro.

I’ll go swimming with you!

Seriously? Woo! Sexy! 

I love when girls watch me on streets like I’m the hottest guy to ever walk. Oh, wait. I am. Oops.

Not only girls, B, not only girls. That's all I'm gonna say.

That’s Clever.

Right? That's what I thought, til I got corrected.

I went to the mall today and stores were already setting up for Valentine’s Day. They need to not.

I just want to skip to the day after Valentine's Day when all the candy is like, seventy-five percent off.

I dunno, man, I’m gay and the most I’ve ever had in my mouth is one. Three is pretty gay.

But I ate them in like, two minutes. 

Well, how gay it is depends on how many wieners you put in your mouth.

I think it was only like three at once. I don't think that's too bad.

You haven’t showered since 2012, anyway, man. The people on the East Cost can smell you.

Wow! You're not getting any dick tonight.

I dunno how competitive eaters do it.

When I was 14, I entered a hot dog eating contest and won. I don't know how I did it, or how gay it is.

There’s so much food to eat and such little time.

I know, man, I so know.