ellie-may.

“I guarantee you, life becomes easier when you stop caring for people who aren’t interested in you in the first place.”

I almost forgot what it felt like to be held by a man who softened himself for me; a man who unveiled his vulnerabilities, invested himself emotionally into me and confidently left himself open - whilst still making me feel physically protected. His grip reminds me of his overall strength but the softness of his hugs reminds me that my heart is forever safe in his hands.

I’m gonna need you to love me a little harder sometimes. Most days, I’ll act like I’m just fine. I’ll paint my smile across my face and wear it proudly. I’ll laugh loudly like I’ve never tasted sadness in my life. But other days, I will not be so strong. I will not walk boldly into the room, I will collapse into it. My vision of life will be clouded by darkness, and I will make my walls extra thick in hopes that you don’t notice. Please, notice. And when you do, pull me close. Hold me until we’re both too warm for anything else to matter. Let me breathe you in. Tell me that you love me, don’t stop until I respond, and then tell me again. I know this could be inconvenient for you, and I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be a bother, but sometimes I need to be told that I’m worth it.

I am so afraid of disappointing the people I love, I often forget that I am someone I love too. And I need kindness just as much as I believe the people I love do.