juniper had plenty on her mind. her father’s passing topped the list, but when she wasn’t wailing and shaking from the nightmares she was thinking about eliza….and quentin. how she had hurt a friend, something she hadn’t bothered to care about before. but she knew that her father’s passing had impacted her morals, he wouldn’t want her to keep a lie, a secret from someone who had only done good for her. the regret still hit her in the chest when she saw eliza on campus, and it only fueled her need to wash it away with the nearest alcohol she could get her manicured hands on. 

why fate had decided for juniper to bump into eliza, she didn’t know. in fact, she didn’t even register who it was until the cold voice spoke over the music, almost sobering juniper completely. she stumbled back a little, regretting the decision to wear heels, eyes scanning to see the girl had worn red. red. the color everyone in ashcroft associated with juniper, and it was clearly a dig at her. had she been sober, perhaps she would have come up with something witty–instead, her mouth felt like cotton. “m’sorry.” she slurred, having a hard time looking the other girl in the eye–let alone stand up straight. 

as much as she hated herself for it, she caught june’s arm in her hand to prevent her from actually falling. her grip had been harder than she intended for it to be, muttering a quick sorry after letting her go. she knew for now there was no way the two of them we’re going to be friends or friendly with each other. eliza needed time away from her, time to process it and move on, time to handle the fact that she wasn’t good enough for someone else, yet again. 

eliza had never seen juniper like this, because even when it was her that was piss drunk at a party or alone in her room, juniper was put together. her father had just passed away, she had reached out to june, offering her condolences, making her own self available if need be because she knew, she had lost her father too. but despite the sympathy she felt, the hurt and betrayal she felt overshadowed it all. part of her almost felt uncomfortable in the red jacket and lipstick she had on, knowing june saw it, knowing june knew. her hands reached back and pulled her hair over her shoulders, hands twisting the ends a bit, giving the other girl a disapproving frown,”what’re you doing, juniper? if this is how you’re dealing with regret just stop. no one’s going to throw you a pity party over something you did willingly.”

after her little lunch with juniper, eliza did what she always did at first, she drank. but instead of sitting there and continuing to wallow where everyone could see her, she went home to her mom, who quickly pulled her together. she wasn’t going to go out of her way to get back at june, that was never her intention, but whenever she thought about seeing her, she pictured the tears that filled her eyes after she told her that she and her boyfriend had been cheating for months and that brought forward a deep anger. the tears that eliza knew weren’t from doing it, otherwise she wouldn’t have, they were tears from being caught. when she grabbed the tube of red lipstick that night while getting ready there was a slight moment of hesitation, it wasn’t something she did, wearing it wasn’t just wearing a color. that feeling changed as soon as she put it on, she was going to be unbothered by it, by june parading around, not caring about her at all and pretending to call her a friend. 

wearing the red lip was already a statement in itself, but when eliza paired it with a red leather jacket, she was telling june and anyone who cared to pay attention who was in charge now. at the bonfire she was relaxed for the most part, her better instinct told her not to drink in the woods so she didn’t, but other people didn’t have the same sentiments. a body slow and heavy with alcohol bumped into her from the side, eliza turning to help them initially, but once she realized who it had been her hands froze away from their body, the words leaving her mouth sounding colder than she knew she’d ever heard from her, “careful. wouldn’t want you to trip and accidentally kiss someone’s boyfriend.” 

lana: 😍❤️🎈🎉

lana: my only plans tonight are wallowing in self pity & shaking my fist at the sky like an angry old man, both of which i can totally push back for u

lana: what did u have in mind?

eliza: oh love

should she have been concerned when she saw the text from june? in all hindsight, yes, definitely, no doubt about it. but given the recent passing of her father and the fact that eliza knew first hand how that felt, she understood what her friend was going through. it was hard, something that’s almost impossible to go through alone. the naivety of eliza got the best of her, assuming that juniper had just needed someone to talk to, friend to friend. the tone of the message was so uncharacteristic for the red head, who usually never let her facade slip, it was enough to cause worry but not raise suspicion.

eliza walked into the small restaurant juniper had asked they meet at, looking around for the familiar red hue of her hair. without finding her, she took a seat of her own by a table ordering a water while she waited. the bell on the door alerted her someone else had walked in, and judging from the click of the shoes she was positive it was her friend. the girl was resilient, put together, never looked anything less than perfect, even when on the inside she felt the opposite.

lana: BIIIIITCH

lana: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABEEE

lana: Ily. Have fun !!!! ❤️

eliza: THANK YOUUUUU

while she was at breakfast she had gotten a text from lip asking to meet back at her room in an hour, to which she happily obliged. with him, there was absolutely no telling what it was, but given the day of the year she was almost positive he had something planned. that was how much she trusted he hadn’t totally forgotten that today happened to be her birthday.

having already had her coffee for the day (and no coffee pot in her room still), instead of making another cup, she turned her speaker on filling the space with music, laying out across her bed, head hanging off the edge. eliza had given him a key ages ago, in the long run saving her the energy from having to get up and open the door on her own.

she heard him before she saw him, the fidgeting with the door knob to unlock it giving away his presence before she actually saw him. when he finally managed to swing the door open eliza couldn’t help but smile.

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