Ariana de Castro ♡

Let me begin by stating that Jenny Han is a master at making her readers fall in love with her characters. Even the ones you don’t want to like, you’ll find yourself genuinely liking and characteristics that are usually unbearable, you’ll end up liking about a character. It’s killer. (And one of the reasons why this book is such a page-turner).

Lara Jean, the protagonist of the story, writes letters to boys that she once loved with no intention of sending them. She writes the letters to essentially give herself closure. Being a letter-writer myself, I immediately felt drawn to the plot and wanted to see where it would go. And let me tell you, it goes. You’ll see Lara Jean grow from the first book to the second. She’s a homebody, keeps to herself, stays home to read or bake, and spends majority of her time with her two sisters and her widowed father. But one of the boys she wrote a letter to, Peter Kavinsky, is the “It-Guy,” of the school, and he brings about a change in Lara Jean she didn’t think would happen.

The popular guy and the not-so-popular-girl; when is a story like that ever boring? If you’ve never fallen in love, reading, “To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before,” and, “P.S. I Still Love You,” will make you smile in anticipation for when the day comes. If you have been in love, you’ll remember- even miss- the feeling of falling in love for the first time.

In, “P.S. I Still Love You,” Lara Jean thinks that her letters have done all the damage it possibly could have. Until another handsome, dashing boy from her past resurfaces. Not only is that new conflict exciting but we also see how much she has changed. (& it’s always satisfying seeing a growth in a character that you feel invested in; oh yes, you’ll be invested in a lot of them)

So to cover all my bases with this book:

Great family dynamic: Check.

Cute boy characters you wish existed in your nearby neighborhood: Check.

Friendships that will remind you of real-life friends you have/had: Check.

Relatable conflicts and resolutions: Check.

A book that you’ll want to read again & recommend to others: Check check.

I really don’t want to give away more than that because this book is a nice, easy read. If you’re looking for something life-altering, this book’s not it. Sure, it definitely has lessons that mature readers can still get out of; little reminders to be more bold, to live a little more, to indulge in the simple pleasures of life (there’s a lot of baking in this book, prepare to crave some sweets!) and many more. But overall, just like there are feel-good movies, this is a feel-good book.

And frankly, it doesn’t need to be any more than that.

(P.S. (*pun intended*) Buy both books at the same time. I almost died reading the first one, thinking it was a stand-alone book, only to be left with the worst (because it was the best), unexpected cliff-hanger ever, followed by the realization that I wasn’t going to be able to read the sequel until a year later. Buy it both; save yourself the frustration).

Twinkling lights, candle-lit rooms, the sweet smell of cookies, brownies, & cupcakes; the warmth of coffee mugs and tea cups radiating the room, and the invigorating aura of twenty women coming together for a night full of music & literature; mingling & laughing. I thought to myself, this is exactly where I want to be tonight and many more nights to come.

My friend Katie (www.lifeisthis.com) introduced me to Taylor (taylorduvall.com) and we all decided to get together and plan an open-reading & house show at my house after the sister-singing duo, Chasing Lovely (chasinglovely.com) approached Katie with the idea.

There were a lot of girls that wanted to make it but couldn’t, girls that stepped out of their comfort zone & came alone (I mean, think about it; how nerve-racking it would be to go to a stranger’s home with nineteen other girls that you don’t know? So brave), and girls who came with their best friends.

As each person entered, they had the opportunity to write the reason they are there & so many wrote that they wanted to be surrounded by other women who want to empower one another.

They also got to look at themselves in a mirror that we later filled up with words completing the sentence, “I am…”

I am my own. I am strong. I am quirky. I am brave. I am worthy. I am enough. I am a lover. I am sassy. I am beautiful. 

And all of those, we are.

My living room was set up with pillows all over the floor, everyone settled with their hot drinks & pastries & the night finally began. The readings began. “Talented,” is an understatement for these girls. Beautiful pieces about self-love, life realization and life appreciation were read.

Then the amazing Taylor and Chloe of Chasing Lovely sang their hearts out for everyone and let me tell you, these girls can sing. Not to mention, they have stellar personalities. So glad I got to bond with these girls! Do yourself a favor and check out their music at chasinglovely.com; their music is so amazing and relatable. The stories behind their songs were so great to hear as well. They travel all around the country so contact them if you ever want to attend one of their house shows or if you’d want to host a live show in your home! (It’s so worth it!)

Everyone could have left after the main event was over but most stayed and spent more time networking and getting to know one another. Those who wanted to got to take a polaroid photo souvenir and these were the final results of that:

They’re all so beautiful, right?

It was so humbling to have hosted this event in my home. I cannot stress that enough. Being surrounded by women who choose to love and empower fellow women instead of bashing and competing with them was truly monumental. So many people in this world are already so cruel and unfair to the female population that as women, we shouldn’t add on to that. We should look to each other for support and comfort.

That’s exactly what I found. Being a Wander Woman, I know now more than ever that though I am my own, I am not alone.

A big thank you to everyone who participated in this event with us. I am so humbled and privileged to have met you all! Cannot wait until the next one and see familiar (& hopefully new!) faces.

There are days that everything I try on manages to feel- and look- wrong. For days like that, I have on reserve my "go-to" clothes. Of course, a little black dress is on that list. But what makes this Brandy Melville dress one of my favorites is that it's a T-Shirt Dress; which means it's ten-times more comfortable than the average dress. Paired with a porkpie hat (bad hair day fix), gold accessories, and boots, my outfit comes together and gets me all ready (& comfortable!) for my day out. 

Dress: Brandy Melville ($26.00)

Boots: Patty’s Closet ($20.00)

Bag: Michael Kors ($250+)

Accessories: Mudd (Necklace(s): $13.00, Bracelets: $8.00, Rings: $6.00) 

On Sunday, May 24th, at 8pm, there is going to be an open reading & a live performance by Chasing Lovely (www.chasinglovely.com) at my place. I am hosting this little event with Katie (www.lifeisthis.com) & Taylor (taylorduvall.com) & we would like to invite 30 girls to join us! It’s a time for women to get together and empower each other, to talk about life & love. This is a free event, all you would need to bring is yourself and any writing pieces or life experiences you’d like to share. (But feel free to donate $10-20 if you’d like)

I’ve always been a fall-winter kind of girl. The way the cold air seems inescapable- Seeping through my layered clothes Clinging to metal objects like doorknobs & keys Turning many things frigid; leaves, flowers But it makes me feel alive, awake And when it rains & little snowflakes form I feel an innocent happiness

I’ve never been a spring-summer kind of girl. Unless there’s a pool or a beach nearby, the heat never appealed to me. Stuffy and draining Sweaty and sticky Cool air is my relief Inside is my escape

Until now. Now all I long for is being outdoors I drive with my car windows open to get a breath of fresh air I kick off my sandals and step on the fake grass outside of my house Wishing it was real I say “outside” when a hostess asks me where I’d like to eat, Just to feel the sun- Just to stare at the big blue sky. I take night strolls to my mailbox, trying to spot as many stars as I can through the bright lights from the city

We are much too privileged with our air-conditioned cars & our air-conditioned homes Our nice shoes, our nice clothes That most of us don't get the full beauty of the world We don’t feel the wet grass, or the gloppy mud We don’t get dirt on our clothes and hands

But we should We should spend more time outside We should dig our hands in the soil We should get our feet wet We should smell the flowers We should appreciate the world’s natural beauty

Write. Rip. Crumple. Trash. Type. Erase. Re-type. Delete.

For three weeks, every single poem, journal entry, and story I wrote, I was unhappy with. My thoughts were too scattered to write and in the instance I did manage to write it out, the words weren’t right.

My Creative Writing Professor tried to help. 
“Just sit down and write. About anything. After you’re done writing, erase the first 30 lines.”

“Stare out side your window and write about how the tree outside makes you feel.”

“Just write.”

I’d like to say that that advice automatically worked for me. But it didn’t. Because “just write”-(ing) is what I do on any normal, given day.

I knew I had to figure out what works for me. So here’s a list of things I did to get rid of my writer’s block:

1) Addressing my personal problems.

The past three weeks haven’t been the easiest. I was questioning so many things and so many people around me. Emotionally, I wasn’t at my best. My emotions usually drive my writing. Because of my emotions, some of my best work comes out. But lately, I have been feeling too much and doing too little about them. I decided to address most of the things that were bothering me & I did feel a ton better afterwards.

2) Traveling.

I got in the car and drove four hours to California with one of my favorite friends. Playing our favorite songs on the drive there, all I allowed myself to feel was excitement. Excitement for the beach, the nice weather, cute surfer boys, good food. Even if traveling means going somewhere an hour away from home- any change of scenery certainly helps.

3) Unwinding.

For me, that means binge watching shows and movies on Netflix and picking up a book- of my choice- to read. (It’s a luxury to get to read a book that’s not assigned for a class nowadays).

4) Spending time with my family and friends.

Though my family can be too much sometimes, spending time with them is my go-to when I’m not feeling my best or happiest. It’s a guaranteed laughing festival. I also spent time with my co-workers (outside of the office) and stayed up until 4:30am with them, talking, dancing, and having a ton of fun. I haven’t gone to a party or a kickback in a long time & it was nice to do something out of the ordinary, not to mention, actually feeling like a teenager for the night.

5) Buying new writing material.

Here, the shop-a-holic in me comes out. I have always been a sucker for stationary, diaries, pens, pencils... No matter how many notebooks and writing utensils I have, it never feels like enough. The “WRITE” journal photographed above is from Barnes & Noble. (Originally $15.95 but on sale of $6.98). Me being me, I had to buy it because there’s nothing like writing in a brand new notebook with a brand new pen.

With that, here I am, writing this blog post in between writing poems and journal entries, revising stories.

I overcame my writer’s block not by forcing myself to write through it, but by forcing myself to unwind, relax, and live a little.

Not only is my writing better for it, but I am better for it.

When I was in high school, I used to have so much time on my hands that I would constantly clean, rearrange and do DIY crafts for my room. Since starting college and my job, I haven't had the luxury to do any of that (for 2 years!). I would clean, yes, but not the, "I'm-going-through-all-my-things-and-throwing-away-what-I-don't-need" kind of clean. This weekend, I got to do just that.

Whenever I'm looking for change, I do one of two things: I change my room, or I change my hair. By the time I go back to school on Tuesday, I will have done both!

For those of you who aren't familiar with how my bedroom used to look, this gives you an idea:

But $300 and 36 hours of no sleep later, here's the outcome of my re-vamped room:

My living room/desk area is now on the other side.

Thanks to my Mom & Dad for my birthday present! My own LoveSac MovieSac - I am glued to it.

It’s faux Chinchilla fur- so soft.

My books aren't hidden in a little cabinet anymore- my new bookshelf ♡

And the place you'll find me hibernating in for the next year because I am in total love...

And how it looks at night:

I'm sure I'll be adding more pieces as far as decor goes, but there's my room!

I really think it's important for a bedroom to be comfortable and inviting. If you're like me and this is where you do your best work and best thinking, make sure you take the time (& money, as painful as it may be) to make sure your bedroom has "you," written all over it!

When I was 9, I was itching to turn 10. I thought, “Two digits for my age: a 1, a 0- together. 10.” How cool.

When I was 12, I was itching to turn 13. Thirteen. I would officially be a teenager. How cool.

When I was 15, I was itching to turn 16. I could finally get a license and watch a Rated-R movie without having to sneak in to the theater. How cool.

When I was 17, I wanted to turn 18. I could say, “I’m officially an adult.” I could get a tattoo, buy cigarettes, roam around the city without worrying about a curfew. I could do whatever I wanted without parental consent. I’d be of legal age. How cool.

Now I’m 20. Most people think, “What a useless age.” & arguably, it is. It’s the purgatory age between being a full-fledged adult (21) and being a teenager (19).

We’re still not allowed to buy alcohol. Still not allowed to gamble. Still not allowed to go to a bar or go clubbing.

But what I couldn’t stop thinking about was that now, I am in no hurry to age. I’m in no hurry for 21, 22, 23 and on…

Because being in a hurry to age means I’m in a hurry for the rest of my life. And I’m not. I never want to be in a hurry for it.

I admit, I think:

“I’m supposed to be done with college in two years. Ideally, I’m supposed to have established my career and have a place of my own at 24/25. 26, I’m supposed to start settling down. 27/28, I should be in love with plans to get married and plans to start a family.“

How frightening. & I don’t want to be in a hurry for all of that.

Now some people- most people- wouldn’t think about things this way. Most wouldn’t methodically plan out their future because in all honesty, plans don’t always unfold the way they’re expected to. But it’s still good to have plans.

I don’t want life to happen to me. I don’t want to sit idly by, waiting for something to happen. I want to have a hand in what happens.

I think 20 is meant to be the “wake-up call,” age. It’s supposed to encourage us to plan. To set goals. To motivate ourselves before we turn 21 and free ourselves from the many constraints we’ve felt as teenagers. (Which, yes, means going crazy and having a ton of legal fun).

Which really, will be okay. Because if at 20, we know where our heads are at- if at 20, we know where we want to go- then a little fun won’t hurt.

For me, turning 21 feels kind of like a gift for figuring it all out at 20. Because I am. I’m figuring it out. I know that I'm right where I’m supposed to be in life.

I really think a new chapter of our lives begin at 20. We’ve lived for two decades now, and though we still have many more decades to painfully celebrate through (30,40,50?!) This is the decade where life REALLY happens to us and WE really happen to life. This will be the most exciting decade we’ll live through.

Today, I realized how incredibly grateful and humbled I am. I live a life where everyday, I am presented with so many opportunities and possibilities to better myself and my surroundings & I hardly ever acknowledge it.

Every emotion I had today felt magnified. The feelings that come with simple, everyday actions, I actually took the time to feel.

I opened my eyes & smiled. Feeling thankful that I woke up.

Hugging and kissing my Dad on the cheek, telling him I loved him before I left the house… I felt thankful that my father is healthy and okay. (And this is when the ripple of my life appreciation of the day began).

Walking out of the house in a light sweater, I shivered as the cool air seeped through my clothing. It was colder than I expected. I ran upstairs to my room, digging through a pile of my newly-laundered clothes; tossing a dress here, a shirt there, finally finding my favorite leather jacket. Walking down the stairs, I realized how lucky I am to have clothes for every season, giving me warmth when I needed, and even clothes for my comfortability. 

Driving to school, I hit traffic and began to feel a tinge of annoyance stir inside me. I looked outside my window and saw a woman, carrying multiple bags, waiting at the bus stop. I then realized how thankful I am to have a car and be able to drive anywhere I want to go.

In my 8a.m. English class, I began to drift off and found myself distracted as my Professor talked about Greek Mythology and Genesis. Familiar with the topic, I started to text friends and not pay attention. I paused & realized how many women & children- people- would love to sit where I was sitting. To learn what I was learning.

If asked what I am most grateful about, (besides my family), it would be my education. I am in college. I am being fed knowledge everyday & my only job is to take it in. 

I am so thankful I get to learn my fourth language this year, when some cannot even expand their vocabulary in one. I am so thankful I get to spend an hour and fifteen minutes of my day, sitting down in a Creative Writing class, staring at an object and writing about how it makes me feel, what my thoughts about it are- anything I wanted to say, I could. I am thankful I get to analyze literature and talk about logic… Everyday, I learn something new. And if I’m not learning something new, I was learning something better.

So one of these days, even just once- feel it. Feel how good life is to all of us. 

Instead of grunting about having to wake up early, be grateful you are awake.

Instead of complaining about having to go to work or school, be grateful you have the means to get an education and that you have a job. 

Even just once this week, ignore the bad. Ignore the person who cut you off on the road, ignore the person who took your parking space, or the person who bumped you in the hallway and didn’t apologize. Ignore the negativity that life comes with and focus on the positive things it offers.

Your point of view makes such a huge difference in how your day goes. I have been working on this mentality for about a year and a half now and it’s made all the difference in me. I’m not as angry or as cynical about things like I used to be. But there are days that this way of thinking seems impossible. It doesn’t come easy but trying will only favor you. 

So just smile and be happy as much as possible. If you’re sad or mad, that’s okay. Face it. Give yourself time to feel it, then bundle it up & turn it into something worth feeling. Contentment… Understanding. Something positive. From there, you can only go up. 

Being thankful means you’re appreciating the good in your life and you deserve to. 

I began blogging at a young age. At 12 years old, I wrote about topics and feelings that weren't considered, "normal," for a twelve-year old to have. The MySpace blog section became my best friend. I was bold. Fearless with my words. I thought I knew exactly what I was talking about with topics like love and morale.

But I didn't. Or at least, not like I do now.

I continued blogging throughout high school using Tumblr. Being in a very dark place in my life at that time, my blog was full of brooding thoughts. Over time, I generated over a thousand followers who liked and re-blogged my posts. It was comforting to know that people could relate to my feelings... That people understood my words. But as expected, the older I got, the heavier my experiences became. The heavier my experiences became, the less time I had. Being honest with myself now, I used my, "lack of time," as an excuse to stop blogging. But that's just what it was: an excuse. My reasons rooted deeper than that.

I deleted my original Tumblr account full of the thousands that related to me. Though majority of my followers were people I did not know in real life, the others were people I did know. I was finally going through something I didn't think about too much when I was younger: I was beginning to care about what people thought. About my writing, about my feelings, about me. 

But that's me admitting it now. Then, I just thought that maybe for awhile I had exhausted my thoughts. But really, I just grew up. I became scared of my words. I became scared of how my words would affect the people I surrounded myself with and what their perspective of me would be. I put up a wall. I didn't want them to know my deepest thoughts and desires. It started to feel invasive. Maybe it was because of the crowd I was in and the lime-light I felt like I was under, but whether I had happy thoughts or sad thoughts, I just couldn't blog anymore.