Kicking Cancer

Song in my head: Brand New by Ben Rector

Mileage: Axe Throwing

The sun was out and shining, an odd stroke of luck on a winter day. I skipped downstairs and hopped into a shared car, instructing the driver to head to Urban Axes. Urban Axes is an axe throwing facility in Somerville with facilities all over the US. The driver asked me about it, and I told him it was my birthday. If I wasn’t excited before, he definitely sparked it with his exuberant response, wishing me a happy birthday. The day was getting off to a sweet start.

As we arrived, I recognized the vibrantly painted exterior of Urban Axes as the backdrop for a photo shoot I had coerced my friend into doing on a walk one day. I bounded inside the building and up to the counter, giving the receptionists my name. I was in Lane A for open throwing. There were 5 other people and a coach who would guide you through the hour. We would be throwing in pairs in the lane that was partially separated by a metal fencing. There were axes in a central holder and throwers would pick up their axes from there and then retrieve them from the target after both parties had thrown. There was to be no handing off of the axes to each other. Duly noted.

Our coach taught us all about the safety guidelines, where to stand, how to hold the axe and how to throw with two hands. It felt so freeing upon the first throw! Let it fly! Our coach would watch us throw and correct our form while drawing a new starting line in chalk for us, reminding us of our hand placement or in my case, giving me a lighter axe. She replaced my axe with a lighter one, and I hit the board! Sometimes I think you just have to lighten the load, not just in axe throwing but in life. Cut yourself a break. Lighten the grip. I felt strong and competent. Not every throw would hit. Many would hit the board and land on the ground underneath it. (If that is your fear that it bounces back to you, it did not get close to doing that when I was there throwing.) But the ones that would stick. Those felt so satisfying. It felt like you had accomplished something. You didn’t need all of that force, you were trying to get just enough force and line up the rotation so that it landed in the wood and hit the target. It really didn’t take long at all to get the hang of it and thanks to our coach everyone had hit the board a couple times.

After we threw a few rounds, our coach taught us how to throw one-handed. With each throw, I felt stronger and more confident in my stance, and I fell into a rhythm. It was meditative. I won’t speak for everyone on that topic, though, because I know a couple of people were looking around keeping a sharp eye on the surrounding axes and their whereabouts at all times. Smart. But if you could trust the process, it was freeing.

After we were getting into the rhythm, I couldn’t wait for my turn to come up. (We rotated two at a time to throw, so you’re throwing for 1/3 of the hour.) We did a throwing competition too, where we kept score of the points and our coach introduced us to the small green dots at the top of the target board called the “clutch,” where you could go for all of the points or no points.

Our coach called out clutch for the entire room to become aware of your next attempt. At least, that’s what it felt like. I went for it and threw too high so it missed the board and hit the mats hanging above it. I looked over and my friend had also attempted a clutch and he got it so close to the mark his fellow axe throwers were encouraging the coach to give him the points.

Sometimes you hit the target and sometimes you miss, but what you don’t do is stop throwing the axes. You get back up and you take another go at it.

By the end of the hour, I couldn’t wait to do it again. I wanted to come back and get good – like lumberjack good. My friend had the same thought. Sometimes things appear to be scarier than they actually are, and sometimes you need to throw axes to remind yourself of your abilities and inner power.

Growing in life in mental, physical and spiritual ways is abounding with challenges and fear of what’s next and if I can handle it. But if I didn’t ever look at the fear and keep moving, I’d be missing out on the experience of it all, on trying new things. And that feeling of moving past fear is a pretty great, freeing feeling. And that thing that we feared might just be something that we love and we find out we can handle (pun intended) a lot more than we give ourselves credit for. Go out and throw those axes.

A Wildflower

    “A flower of an uncultivated variety or a flower growing freely without human intervention.”¹

“Wildflowers find themselves growing anywhere. They grow in the most unlikely of places, even in the darkest of night. They find any cracks and crevices that will allow them to sprout up, and they do just that. They grow despite everyone’s belief that they never would. They allow the rain to heal them, not drench them.”²

There is a toughness and simultaneous beauty to wildflowers that I have grown to admire. They grow in the most unlikely of places and resiliently find a way to blossom in the most challenging of circumstances. It’s science.

What I love most about the characteristics of a wildflower is that it grows freely, resiliently and untamed wherever it is planted.  It is even able to grow in the unlikeliest of places – in cracks, in crevices, in forgotten fields – and they bring beauty to the space that they inhabit.

There’s a quote that keeps popping up on my Pinterest feed and popping into my mind at moments I need the most reassurances, and it is this by Morgan Harper Nichols, “And somehow, after everything, she still bloomed in the way she was meant to.” (It might also be my phone background.) Morgan Harper Nichols is an artist, a writer, and a storyteller. In 2017, Morgan started a project where she invited people to submit stories to her website. From there, she began creating art inspired by the stories her readers submitted and then sent the person who submitted their story the artwork at no cost. Her words and artwork are illustrative of hope. I am in awe of her talents and the way in which she uses art to build a human connection to bring hope and reassurances to the world. It’s incredible.

“And somehow, after everything, she still bloomed in the way she was meant to.”

When questions start to come up that I don’t yet have the answer to, I refer to this quote. I feel like this unearths the hope that lies within. It’s the reassurance that no matter what detours or winding turns that feel as though they’re pulling me off course come my way, the experiences have grace within them. I feel like she created those words for me.

This season of my life is about growing and learning to listen to my intuition again. It’s a season of looking at the world in a relaxed, matured lens. It’s teaching me patience and to appreciate the fruits and blessings I currently have in the now. It’s having me take a step back from looking at the future and the next step and focusing on appreciating the here and now, in order to know more clearly what I want the picture of my future to look like. It’s also creating a space to let in a rush of gratitude, because when you take the time to pause and reflect, you can’t help but pull out of that place of unfulfillment and count the things that you do have that maybe you didn’t have years ago. It’s allowing me to look at the twists and turns of decisions I’ve made with an objective lens and learn a lesson from it. Giving yourself the space to turn an ordinary, plain moment into a significant pause of reflection to appreciate how far you’ve come is renewing. It’s hard to slow down in a society that elevates and applauds productivity. It’s hard to slow down when my mind is comfortable operating at a heavy pace and my fingers itch for a  distraction often found in mindless apps on my devices. It’s tough to turn off the outside world – full of opinions and misplaced directions and decisions – and come into my own body and listen to my mind, my thoughts.

Lately my happiness hasn’t matched my picture of what life would look like by now. The timeline is off. Dreams deferred, along with befuddled expectations are all funky. That’s my technical term for it. Funky. They’re criss-crossy and tangled and difficult to follow and unexpected. It doesn’t match my picture.

But it’s my story.

And that, my friends, is beautiful in and of itself.

Because you’re unique, lovely and hand-made with not one being the same to make up this fabric of the world. So embrace those qualities and sink more into your unique, one-of-a-kind gifts and find your people that have those similar qualities too. And get together and make great shit happen, so that you can share your beautiful, wildflower story of how you overcome. I hope that you fill up your day with words of love and wisdom and reassurance and hope. And that you truly believe you have a wildflower heart within you, meant to blossom in the hardest and darkest of times because you bring beauty to this world simply with your story.

“You want to be happy, Doc? Change your picture. Or change your life,” said Wade Kinsella from Hart of Dixie on Netflix (the full quote is beautiful and located on Pinterest) to his love interest Zoe Hart as played by Rachel Bilson (shoutout to all my Gossip Girl fans!). Please go watch it if you haven’t. It might be my favorite, weird, lovely love story. And I think Wade Kinsella had some wisdom when it came to leading a happy, satisfied, contented life. He was a wildflower, learning to grow in the toughest of places, but he was resilient. He was kind to himself.

In this season of growing, I’m learning to embrace the beautiful and the tough sides of me, to be kinder to myself, to give myself patience in this place of grace and rest.

I came across this quote as I was searching Morgan Harper Nichols’ blog and I’ll leave you with this:

TRUTH ABOUT GRACE

Here’s the truth about grace:

It probably won’t look like you expect it to.

It probably won’t even really make sense to you,

because it’s glorious unmerited favor,

and nothing else really works that way.

There are so many things in life that say to you:

“You are not worthy, and you will never be worthy

unless you can prove it to me.”

But grace says something else.

Grace says:

“I see where you are,

and I know that you have been lost out here,

but there is still a way Home for you.

And you are free to carry on

on that journey,

even before it makes sense to you.”

– Morgan Harper Nichols

Dictionary.com

The Odyssey Online article Have a Heart Like a Wildflower

AdClub hosts a CMO Breakfast Series that I love when I have the opportunity to attend. Who doesn’t love brunch? Who doesn’t love inspiration? And who doesn’t love talking about creativity in branding?

Brian Beitler, EVP and Chief Marketing and Brand Development Officer at J.Jill, opened with a story from his little league days. His mom was the loudest in the stands as she cheered for both teams. Brian was a pitcher at the time and whenever he would strike someone out she would shout, “Way to go, Brian.” And then immediately turn to the batter and tell them, “You’ll get him next time!” The next time the batter from the opposing team got a great hit, she would cheer and shout, “Great hit! You’ll get him next time, Brian.” She cheered for success. I was hooked. I related to Brian’s mom and that story. I. Am. Brian’s. Mom. Not literally. As a longtime fastpitch softball player (now retired to slowpitch games) I often get chided by friends (particularly while watching Red Sox games) for cheering for both teams. It’s the incredible, skillful play that causes me to inadvertently let “Nice hit! Nice catch! Nice play!” slip from my lips often to the disapproving glances from friends. I just love when someone plays the game well.

Beitler was getting at that same point when it came to branding and marketing. Instead of committing to being different, commit to looking at what’s best for your customer base, even if that means taking what your competition has already done and doing it better. Commit to having conversations with your customers and listening, because they might just have the secrets to success you are looking for.

Kohl’s

Oh my very goodness, I love Kohl’s. I am a Kohl’s shopper. I love all things Kohl’s, especially the deals. Give me a good deal and I am there with my sister and mom (experts in bargain shopping and where I learned all that I know) in tow and our shopping game faces on. One thing I noticed with all of Beitler’s roles was that he made it a point to visit the brick-and-mortar stores in person and understand the experience in that store. He uncovered many a marketing gem this way. While waiting in line at Kohl’s, Beitler struck up a conversation with a lady who was so ecstatic on saving “more than she had spent.” Upon further conversation, the woman told him that she was really good at math and that she had saved $200. Taking this insight back to his teams and embracing this saver-type culture, Kohl’s set out to update the receipts to reflect the amount saved at the bottom and circle it in red ink. It was a hit.

Lane Bryant

At Lane Bryant, Beitler did several focus groups and dug through the research to understand his new customer base. At one of the focus groups, Beitler became frustrated as they were not uncovering or digging deep enough into understanding the ladies they were looking to reach with the Lane Bryant brand. He asked one woman what mattered to her, and what he kept hearing was that she just wanted to be seen and not ignored. This discovery led to the #ImNoAngel campaign, where plus-sized models donned Lane Bryant apparel and embraced their curves in a sassy, sexy, sensual ad with a Victoria’s Secret feel. It was a hit, and later led to a model from that campaign to the cover of Sports Illustrated. Because Beitler listened to his customer base, he’s been able to spot the gold that resonates with the audiences he is aiming to reach.

David’s Bridal

During his role at David’s Bridal, Beitler visited a nearby, high-performing store to see what caused it to be so special. At the store, a bride rushed in in her nurse’s scrubs and announced to the team she had 30 minutes to find a dress. The employees went to work, set her up with a room and sure enough she walked out of the fitting room with the dress. The manager of David’s Bridal was overjoyed and rushed to bring the bride-to-be a bell. She told her that it was tradition for all the brides to ring the bell. At first the rushed bride refused, but the store manager insisted. The bride acquiesced and the store manager told her to close her eyes and picture the life that she was going to share with her soon-to-be husband and then to ring the bell. The bride and all those around her began to tear up. On a Saturday, when the store is hustling and bustling with brides, it’s just magic. The store manager had found a way to “shine the light” on one customer and bring a boutique feel to a large store. I love that description of shining a light on one person, one item, one thing that makes someone feel heard, connected, and special. Imagine if we all did this in our every day lives or if every brand attempted to do this for their customers.

Beitler gave shout-outs to mission-inspired companies like Tom’s and creative, hipster companies like Warby Parker, a couple of my favorite brands as well. Through ads that spoke to their customer base with a brand personality, and through simple imagery and copy, they were able to paint a picture of all that the brand stood for and at the same time connect with the audiences that they cared about reaching. They were building a brand that was relatable to their audiences. In each of his companies, Beitler brought to life the things that his customers cared the most about and tied it to the brand in a genuine, authentic way. He genuinely listened to what his customers were saying.

He is doing this currently at J.Jill. By talking with his audiences he’s understanding his J.Jill customers are accomplished ladies who don’t need their clothes to be complicated. He’s translating this in J.Jill’s branding.

Building relationships and having conversations with your audience is important to discover the qualities that make your brand special to your customers and to learn how to embrace that quality for the success of everyone. Go Brian! You’ll get ’em next time.

Takeaways

Digging in to your brand and your customer stories and what they love most and value most about your brand is at the heart of it.

Stay curious and ask questions in and out of the office.

Combine analytics with first-party research to inform your marketing.

Partner with brands you trust like Food Network and Oprah Magazine.

Love all sorts of success, especially when anyone plays the game well.

You can find me at Kohl’s.

On Tuesday, we heard from Brian Beitler, Executive Vice President, Chief Marketing and Brand Development Officer of @JJillStyle. Watch the video from this CMO Breakfast here: https://t.co/Ky1UpCxGqG#adclubcmo pic.twitter.com/ymDOHWG2lx

— The Ad Club (@theadclub) August 15, 2019

A big thank you to AdClub and Brian Beitler for sharing inspiration!

Each year I begin with a list of books in mind to read and make me happy. Since I scramble to keep any sort of New Year’s resolution, I felt this could be a nice intro to getting on that path. 2019’s list is below:

Unbound by Steph Jagger, The Dirty Book Club by Lisi Harrison, My Squirrel Days by Ellie Kemper, Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis, Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis, 26 Marathons by Meb Keflezighi, Run Fast. Eat Slow. by Shalane Flanagan & Elyse Kopecky and Run Fast. Cook Fast. East Slow by Shalane Flanagan & Elyse Kopecky

Every Sunday night I attempt a new recipe from Shalane and Elyse’s Run Fast Eat Slow series of cookbooks in belief they will indeed allow me to run fast. These books led me into my soiree with cooking. This coming from the girl who put pasta in water before boiling it, and who once set a plastic cup on fire.  My sister refuses to let this story slip my mind. The little knowledge I have of science and of the laws of physics would make Newton’s heart beat all too fast. I have also proudly made it onto a Buzzfeed list of Pinterest fails. So when running legends, Shalane Flanagan and her running partner Elyse Kopecky, came out with an all too simple manual to nourish athletes, I was all in. Not only are the ingredients recognizable to a novice cook, the book also has a section that lays out recipes by what will help with common athlete ailments, such as inflammation (Amen! Here I am!), low iron, and low energy. It was a godsend for someone who has two meals to her name – any breakfast item and fish (I know right! You would think that would be tough to cook, but I grew up on that stuff.). Because I like goals and progress and planners and lists and all that fun stuff (where my Type-A+ people at!), I decided to make it a goal to try one recipe a week during meal prep for the week. This doesn’t always happen, because there’s this little thing called life that gets around, but it’s a nice goal to have. As long as we’re doing the best we can, we’re crushing it in my mind.

Fig and Pig Quiche

Time: 50-60 minutes + prep (which could take me ages to follow the simplest of recipes)

Prep Music: Country Top Hits because why not

It’s simple for a quiche and involves all of my favorite things – cheese, eggs and bacon. I already told you, breakfast food was my jam (pun moderately intended – could have been better) and I thought it would be good to start in my comfort zone, and also impress people at the potluck (all their mamas and the under 2-years-old crew).

You start by pre-heating the oven to 350 degrees and get a pan on the stove for 1 chopped yellow onion and 3 pieces of chopped bacon. As the yellow onion and bacon are cooking in the pan, you mix your ingredients together – 8 eggs, 1/2 cup of feta cheese, and 1/4 teaspoon of sea salt, and a 1/4 teaspoon of pepper.

  After your onions and bacon begin to brown you add in 2 cups of chopped kale and it will cook down faster, in about a minute. Once that is ready you place it in the crust that you either made by scratch because you are the Martha Stewart of all things, or you bought pre-made like yours truly because you were tight on time. The pre-made crust in the recipe is baller. It’s 1 1/2 cups of whole wheat pastry flour, 1/2 teaspoon of sea salt, 8 tablespoons (stick) of unsalted butter cut in cubes and chilled in the freezer for 10 minutes, and 1/4 – 1/2 cup of cold water, and you form that into a dough and back in the oven prior to putting your mixture together. It’s well-worth it for your tummy and tastebuds. Pour in your egg mixture on top and it will cover all of the good food. Top it with sliced fig or pear and pop that baby in the oven for 50-60 minutes until the crust browns and the eggs cook.

Ta Da! Take that Pinterest.

Bobbi taught me what it looks like to lace up for a starting line and let love be your driving force. Help us commemorate this bold runner and pioneer for women’s running by donating to the 26.2 Foundation.

  Elise: That takes courage to get to the starting line.

Bobbi: They say love overcomes fear.

As I sat across from Bobbi Gibb, my heart rate quickened. I was sitting across the table from a legend. This was the woman behind the scenes, softly in the background, not often given recognition outside of the seasoned runners and running communities. I was nervous and giddy with excitement. I had brought my sister along for the coffee date to calm my nerves. Bobbi Gibb was the first woman to run the Boston Marathon in 1966.

“I’ll have to get a latte to celebrate,” she said, referring to my arrival. Only remnants remained of what appeared to be a mocha latte already beside her laptop. She was nestled in a back corner booth with yellow painted walls. Brightly colored umbrellas dotted the wooden picnic tables of the California café’s exterior. As soy lattes were ordered, I noticed a sign hanging by the register that read, “Bring your own mug, save $.25.” I liked it here. Pannikin was the site where Bobbi studied when she attended UCSD. Not only is Bobbi an accomplished runner, she is also a neuroscientist, artist, and lawyer, having attended college at a time when it was unwelcoming for women, especially in the sciences. You would never know by just talking with her as all of her humble stories seemed to detour to getting to know you.

Bobbi was the woman who paved the way for runners like me to experience the freedom of something so simple as to run unhindered, free of perceived barriers. At a time when women were told to look toward marriage rather than career and were actively turned away from running due to perceived physical limitations, Bobbi stayed uniquely true to herself and set out to show that maybe those hypotheses weren’t true. Without Bobbi’s bravery and determination to lovingly show what could be accomplished, I might not have the same opportunities I do today. Thank you, Bobbi. Thank you for paving a way, for changing the way that we think and for showing me what is possible.

When did you first watch the Boston Marathon?

I first saw the Boston Marathon in 1964. I identified with these people, and I was thinking here are people who feel the same about running and about life as I do. I was getting back to these deep roots, and I just fell in love with it. I wasn’t thinking at that point that I was making a feminist statement. It was way out of the social norm at that time to run long distance. I look back at that age (23 years old) and how did I dare to follow what I loved deep down inside. I just went for it, and I never questioned it. I just started training. It wasn’t sanctioned until 1972.

Can you describe the training involved?

I just started measuring miles. My boyfriend at the time and I would get on his motorcycle and we’d measure out miles and then he’d drop me off and I’d run back. I fell in love with it and something deep inside of me said you’re gonna run that race. I followed that out in an incredibly disciplined way. I ran literally every single day in rain, snow and sleet and I would go further and further. I did that with such tenacity.

Can you talk about what was happening for women during that time period?

In those days women were supposed to be very passive. Women were hidden, and they weren’t allowed to be in the public eye. Half the world’s geniuses are women and they had to remain hidden, and it’s such a loss of talent and ability in human endeavors. I identified with active, self-determined people. A lot of my heroes were men because we didn’t have the actor female role models that we do now.

What made you decide to run the Boston Marathon?

I trained for two years. I sprained my ankle so had to postpone running it for a year. I was running 40 miles at a stretch. In 1966 I moved to California. I married a guy I had known in track and field at Tufts University. He was in the navy in the Vietnam War. So I continued my training in San Diego. I found the Boston Athletic Association’s address and wrote to them saying I wanted to run and asking what did I had to do. This was in February 1966, and Will Cloney, who was the race director, wrote back that women were not allowed to run. It was a Men’s Division race. The longest Women’s Division race was not more than a mile and a half. The race organization could not take the medical liability. There was the perception that you can’t do this because you are not capable. If you’re not allowed to do something then how can you prove that you can do it? In order to prove that I could run this race, I had to run this race. If I could prove this misconception wrong, it would call into question the other misconceptions about women. All this was going through my mind, and I said to myself, All the more reason to run. So I got on a bus.

You took a 4-day bus trip across the USA to run Boston. What was that experience like?

On my journey across the country, I was trying to get close to the source of all creation. I happen to think that love is the fundamental reason we’re alive. Love is the basis of all meaningful human endeavors. It’s not money or power or any of these false goals. People get way off track. It’s really love. It’s just a matter of opening your mind and heart to seeing it and feeling it. What I was feeling was this incomprehensible love. It’s everywhere once you tune into it. The marathon was the only way I could express it

You arrived by bus the day before the marathon. What was your first Boston Marathon experience like?

My mother drove me to Hopkinton and that was the first time I could remember her being on my side. We hugged for the first time in years. I thought I might get arrested. I was all alone. I was unprotected. I had no idea what I was getting into. Then my mom left and I started to run. I had a blue hooded sweatshirt. I had my hair tied back, my brother’s Bermuda shorts and boy’s shoes. I just started to run. I ran up and down an alley for 45 minutes. I probably ran 3 or 4 miles before the marathon even started. I had to figure out how I was going to get in the race. I hid in some bushes and when the gun went off I waited until half the field went by before I jumped in. As they began to study my physique, they knew I was a woman. I heard, ‘Wow it’s a girl!’  They could have easily shouldered me out of the race. But instead the men were glad I was running. The men weren’t against the women. The men loved it and the spectators loved it. These people were all, ‘Atta go girl!’ They responded very positively, and when I got to Wellesley that was a pivotal moment. Wellesley students were screaming and cheering! There was one woman with children to one side who was shouting ‘Ave Maria! Ave Maria!’ They really sensed this was a pivotal point, that this was a change of consciousness that wasn’t going back in the bottle. The world was ripe for it.

In those days the race finished in front of the Prudential. The press was there and all the cameras and the governor of Massachusetts, John Volpe, came down and shook my hand, congratulating me. I was on the front page of the newspaper. I was so surprised. I had never met anyone from the press. The next day people were calling right and left. My parents who thought I was nuts before were now really proud of me.

You paved the way for women’s running. What are your thoughts on changing social constructs?

Thinking differently is not always easy. We all have our habits of thought. False beliefs do a lot of damage. Once you know the truth it enables you to move forward in a more effective way. I think it’s true of all human beliefs and social beliefs. So it’s a matter of how you change beliefs that are more in line with nurturing, beneficial and true. Progress is always three steps forward and one step back because there’s always a reaction. How do you change social conscious? Sometimes it’s one or two or a group. You know what? One day someone said slavery is wrong. There was a reaction. It took a very long time for human conscience and consciousness to change to now embrace the commitment of equal guaranteed human, social and political rights and freedoms for every unique and valuable individual in the world. It took a long time but now it’s a consensus of opinion. Changing social conscious can’t be easy but it can be done. That thing in Wellesley, I think there was a change.

You have created a sculpture for the Boston Marathon course. Can you tell me about the fundraising and more about the sculpture?

It’s through the 26.2 Foundation in Hopkinton and Tim Kilduff commissioned me to do the sculpture. It will be the first woman sculpture along the course.* It represents that pivotal moment, that first run for a woman to run the Boston Marathon, to change the consciousness of the time period. It’s a tribute to women and women’s running and all the other breakthroughs that woman have had. I made a kit, so a small replica, and we put it in a 3D scanner and made it into a foam core. I put a layer of oil-based clay over it and I carved the layer. It’s 3 or 4 months work, and I did it in a month. I had this steel-like concentration. I’d work, eat, go for a run, work and go to bed. The first stage is done; I’ve created the life-sized clay model. Next we will make the molds. Then I will rework the entire sculpture in wax. Then the foundry will cast the wax in bronze using the ancient lost wax technique. (To do this the 26.2 Foundation has to raise $50,000.)

*And the first sculpture sculpted by a female artist on the course. Tim Kilduff is part of the 26.2 Foundation, a Hopkinton-based 501(c)(3) nonprofit that has helped install other marathon statues in and around Hopkinton.

What and who was the original inspiration behind the sculpture?

Tim Kilduff came to me two or three years ago and he knew I did sculptures of runners and athletes. He believed the first one should be of a woman, and I said you’re right.*

*Bobbi went to Joan Benoit to ask if Joan would be the woman Bobbi modeled the sculpture after, and Joan looked at her pointedly and told Bobbi, “No, it should be of you.” Bobbi was the one that inspired Joan’s running feats. Joan Benoit is a two-time Boston Marathon champion and winner of the first Olympic Marathon for women in 1984.

Do you have anything to add to runners following in your footsteps?

I find the marathon really moving because to me it’s like the human condition is so vulnerable and yet so strong. You begin the race and end the race and then it’s over. I love people. Every person has his or her own story and incredibly valuable experience of life and here it is in the marathon that you do together. You’re in the company of people who are doing what they love to do. It was always a spiritual thing for me. I saw it as a celebration of Spring. It’s still a very moving thing.

Bobbi went on to win the Boston Marathon three times 1966, 1967, 1968, the pre-sanctioned era of the Boston Marathon, when women were banned from entering because of their gender. Her first Boston Marathon race she finished in 3:21:42, finishing ahead of two-thirds of the runners. She still cherishes her daily run because it is a piece of her life that she loves. She also has the warmest spirit you will find. She reads numerous papers for neuroscience research and continues to be curious about the world and bringing people together.

By April, the 26.2 Foundation, along with runners like you, is raising money to fund the installation of Bobbi’s sculpture along the Boston Marathon course. Be a part of a movement for runners and women, a tribute to the woman who broke the barrier for women’s running, and not only that, but inspired men and women alike to pursue a future of acceptance and limitless possibilities.

  Donate

Donate to build the sculpture on my fundraising page: https://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/elise-kovi/26-2

or online at 26.2 Foundation via PayPal or check to:

Bobbi Gibb Marathon Sculpture Project

26.2 Foundation c/o Caitlin Jacques, Treasurer

P.O. Box 820 Hopkinton, MA 01748

Support the 26.2 Foundation Sculpture Project and spread the word. #ThankYouBobbi

If you are a qualified athlete and are interested in running to fund the 26.2 Foundation please contact the 26.2 Foundation in Hopkinton.

Bright tights and happy trails,

Elise

*After watching her daughter Bobbi run, Bobbi’s mother went on to get her Master’s degree after the age of 60.

My friend sent me a list of her fitness goals for the year, primarily her weightlifting goals. Do not get me wrong. I LOVE a good fitness goal and am all for cranking away at hitting those feats and feelings of accomplishment, and I sure as hell have them too. They are what keep me motivated to press on – to continue developing into a better version of myself. This time I wrote back my goal, a mental one at that:

  Learning to love my body.

  I had a ton of other fitness goals for the year swimming in my head, but there was one that stood out in the forefront that I could not take my mind off of. I cannot tell you how long I have struggled to learn to love the body I am in and how many times my weight has fluctuated. I have no clue when body image started to creep in. I know the standards were sitting softly on the surface, a slim awareness that there was a certain set of standards for the body I was supposed to live up to. Not proliferated by my people — they loved me as is, extra 5 lbs and all. It was in the world around me – a certain body ideal was just there, no matter that athletes, singers, artists are all made differently – covert and undeniable. As a young perfectionist, I was of course going to live up to these guidelines, if not supersede them, because obviously that’s what I’m here for! I was an athlete by golly.

  It wasn’t until later that I realized these standards are not for every body. This is why I love the “Every Body” movement. It’s recognizing that there are all types of bodies out there and not one standard. And yes, there is a healthy weight for my height. And there are weights that I know I’m not feeling my greatest at, but that’s because I know when I feel healthy and fit and ready to take on the world, regardless of what the scale shows. I’m in tune with my body. I pay attention to how it’s feeling when I eat certain foods, when I’m not getting enough calcium or iron, when I’m not resting or recovering or when something is just feeling off.

  I read a post on Athleta’s Chi blog about body image and the beach bod by SheLift Founder (and former Bachelorette star) Sarah Herron titled “How to Have a Beach Bod”.

Naturally, I perked up and eagerly scooped up all of the information I could muster. She shared photographs of her beach trip, showing unflattering photos and areas of her body she was uncomfortable with along with flattering photos she loved from a different shoot. She pointed out that the photo shoots were 4 days apart and that her body hadn’t changed in that time. My favorite quote from the article was:

The lesson here is this: to anyone who has ever seen an image of themselves in an unflattering light and had their thoughts immediately begin racing with stories of how old, fat or out of control you’ve gotten… please know that it’s NOT real. Don’t let the wrong light, a bad angle, an unflattering outfit or a few margs determine your value in this world. You are loved 100% as you are… and the angle you take your photos isn’t fooling the people who see and accept you as you are. – Sarah Herron

It was a much needed reminder that the people in your circle see you and love you as you are because you bring something wonderful to their world. You bring your charm, your sense of humor, your positivity, your bright light and your warmth. Those are the overarching, big picture things that you add to someone else’s life as well as your own.

Learning to love your body. The body you are in. Currently. Now. The body you’re in, even if you are in the process of working towards a fitter, slimmer, stronger, whatever-it-is kind of you, is meant to be loved and nourished in both food and thoughts. That’s why gratitude has been springing up left and right and sideways to help shift our mindset and thinking into one of appreciation, to move away from the lies that get told to you, often by you (Read Rachel Hollis’ book Girl, Wash Your Face about this and tell me you don’t love her book.). I’m not saying this is a one-stop-shop easy fix. I have to actively engage in it every day. To check my thoughts at the door. To show up for myself with intention, and the intention to be kind.

Yes, we’re always going to be working towards something, towards improvement of our selves and our bodies. And that is EXCELLENT. Having goals is wonderful for self growth. But there is no reason why we can’t love ourselves in the process.

Not only that, girls and our next generation need those role models. I can’t stress this enough. Young girls see role models in the women in their lives. They observe how you interact with the world and how you treat yourself. They look to you as a mirror for how they can interact with the world and themselves, because they see bits and pieces of themselves in you. Be the person you needed when you were younger.  Girls can pick up on that energy of positivity you emit. Think of the confidence you are building in them. Girls need confident, accepting role models of every shape, size, color, and ethnicity, with personalities and interests similar to themselves. They want to see someone like them, loving every ounce of who they are.

So in the onset of bathing suit, beach-body-ready season, suit up with some self love and admiration for all that your body has accomplished for you today.

For tips on how to sync up your mind and body on a positive wavelength, visit Athleta’s Chi Blog for more love and inspiration.

Here’s How I Work Toward Love and Acceptance of My Body Every Day:

Pause the negative self talk. Check yourself. I once read an article that advised you to ask the question, “Would you say that to a close friend?” I think that is an excellent marker for learning ways to talk to yourself with your inner thoughts. Your mind is growing, expanding and learning and it needs to be nourished.

Remember it’s one day, one feeling in the grand scheme of your life. Yes, some days I feel like a big, bloated, floating Michelin Man and other days I feel light, slim and strong as a feather-ox character in a heroic film. But you know what, the scale reads the exact same number on those days. My weight doesn’t change in the couple of days I feel completely opposite about the body I’m in. In those days it’s my perception, what I’m wearing, what I’m repeating to myself. The mind is more powerful than we give it credit for.

Do it with intention. Show up for yourself. It takes time and effort to intentionally be nice to yourself and remind yourself you are loved. So show up and make time for yourself. And bonus, there’s always future opportunities. Promise yourself you do better tomorrow to make yourself feel loved and to take care of the temple of a body you have at all shapes and sizes. Give yourself a break. There are waves of change in life and obstacles that are going to knock you off course and veer you away from your goals. That’s how life is. Life is a fluid journey. But you’ll get back to the good days. So appreciate yourself at all points in your life because it’s an ongoing discovery. “It’s not about the destination, it’s the journey,” my dad would always say as he was met by an eye roll and a smile from me. As I get older, I’m learning that more and more.

Appreciate what your body CAN do for you. Gratitude is a life-changing, mental game. It sounds like a trend and gets thrown around a lot. But it’s amazing when you can really pause and focus on what you actually are appreciative of in your life or that day or that second. Let’s get that serotonin level up, and say some nice things to ourselves. It re-frames your mind to look at the good. Because those good times are worth it.

Remind yourself you are beautiful, powerful and strong. You are loved by people in your world and each of us has something to offer the world. And wouldn’t it be a shame if the world missed out on your unique talent? Yes, it would. So sing a song, repeat nice things to yourself and remind yourself of all you’ve accomplished to make it this far and that you – as you are – are enough.

I took a leap of faith on a solo trip to Ireland. What I uncovered was more faith and courage in myself, an awakened creative side, many, many new friends around the world, and my Irish roots. We really are a lucky bunch.

“May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face. May the rains fall soft upon your fields, and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.” – Irish Blessing

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Day 1 of 10 | Dublin, Ireland Trinity Library and the Book of Kells Learned so much of Ireland’s monastic history, the vikings not so great tales and how this place came to be. #eatprayguinness #ireland #canigetabook

A post shared by EliseKovi (@elisekovi) on Jul 20, 2018 at 3:50pm PDT

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Day 2 of 10 | Dublin, Ireland. Temple Bar and Jameson Distillery Tour. “Sine Metu” Without Fear is on the label of their whiskey bottles and speaks to their history as a company trying to make it in a war-torn time, overcoming a lot of obstacles to follow their passions and succeed. That hit me hard, and spoke to a lot to the reservations I had leading up to that day. Fear puts up a lot of doubt, but it’s pushing through that that leads to great experiences. I wouldn’t have made all of these great connections. Met people from Germany, the Netherlands, Serbia, Canada, Chicago, San Diego, UCLA (my Alma mater!) and New Jersey during and after the Jameson Tour (also our tour guide looked like Harry Potter). Jameson bringing people together. And more importantly we wouldn’t have Jameson. 🙂 #eatprayguinness #slainte Sign reads: Everyone who passes through this door brings happiness. Some Some by entering. Some by leaving. Photo credit 📷: to my new Canadian friend I met at the Jameson Tour! Also shoutout to my new UK friend that said my backpack made me look like a #ghostbuster. Forever friends we will be. #eatprayjameson (Also some art market wanderings before getting to Jameson)

A post shared by EliseKovi (@elisekovi) on Jul 20, 2018 at 4:15pm PDT

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Day 3 of 10 | Rental Car, Galway, Quays Bar (Pronounced Keys) Oh hey, Galway, I see you. Took 2 hours at the rental car facility to get my rental car 🚗, but was able to book my BnBs in line 🙌🏻. Was given this gem that helped me navigate left side (strong side) driving and made it to Galway! Early morning run with the one and only @clvshrpr last day in Dublin! She taught me to look left. (No, right?) Met teachers and peripherally the owner of the fish and chips place McDonagh’s via said teachers. And met such warm, lovely people, my Galway family mum and dad @marilynmcnamaraadams @eadams431 Love you guys! Thanks for taking me under your wings. Photo credit 📷: @eadams431 look at his stuff! AND a bridal party rolled in. I love me a good wedding 💕🌻 (Backpack appearance once again)

A post shared by EliseKovi (@elisekovi) on Jul 21, 2018 at 5:38am PDT

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Day 4 of 10 | Parkmore and Kinvara | Morning Run 🏃🏼‍♀️ with the sheep to the water, but more like the sheep running away from me 🐑(let me love you!) Thinking about scoping out places for @novemberproject Ireland. #recruit #Novemberproject #Ireland #Eatprayguinness #swim

A post shared by EliseKovi (@elisekovi) on Jul 21, 2018 at 5:57am PDT

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Day 5 of 10 | Cliffs of Moher and Doolin | Spent all day at the Cliffs of Moher soaking in the sunshine ☀️ #eatprayguinness #ireland

A post shared by EliseKovi (@elisekovi) on Jul 21, 2018 at 6:46am PDT

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Fill in blanks | Ireland Testing 1, 2, 3… #eatprayguinness #ireland #draw

A post shared by EliseKovi (@elisekovi) on Jul 21, 2018 at 8:59am PDT

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Day 6 of 10 | Ireland’s highest peak Devil’s Ladder. I told Eugenio I wanted to hike. He chose the highest peak, claiming it wasn’t that high. One Devil’s Ladder later. Never know what you’re capable of until you do it. Thanks for making me reach higher, Entrenador. #bigbroisintown #neverstopexploring #novemberproject @novemberproject @novemberprojectbos @poleary87 Did you run up this? #hiking View is higher up here Scrambling photo 📷: Eugenio #eatprayguinness

A post shared by EliseKovi (@elisekovi) on Jul 25, 2018 at 10:33am PDT

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Day 6 of 10 (cont) | Killarney | Ross Castle at Sunset. Skipping rocks reliving our childhood. Moving in. Hope that’s cool. #Ireland #castles #househunters #eatprayguinness #killarneynationalpark

A post shared by EliseKovi (@elisekovi) on Jul 25, 2018 at 10:31am PDT

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Day 6 of 10 (cont) | Killarney | Ross Castle at Sunset. Skipping rocks reliving our childhood. Moving in. Hope that’s cool. #Ireland #castles #househunters #eatprayguinness #killarneynationalpark

A post shared by EliseKovi (@elisekovi) on Jul 25, 2018 at 10:31am PDT

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Day 7 of 10 (cont.) | Dingle | Peaceful Dingle. Monastic sites, a Thomas Kinkade-esque pastoral countryside and Star Wars filmed nearby #eatprayguinness

A post shared by EliseKovi (@elisekovi) on Jul 25, 2018 at 8:51pm PDT

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Day 8 of 10 | Cobh , Cork, Blarney, Kilkenney | Found my family crest which means “Champion” or “Strength” and that we had a few Gaelic footballers and orators in our family history. At Blarney Castle met my favorite traveler to date, Jodi Savage, who let me sit below the Blarney Stone with him to blow it a kiss as neither of us needed the gift of gab. He made jokes while we waited for his wife to come down from the castle. On to Kilkenney where Gaelic Football memorabilia was everywhere. #eatprayguinness #savage

A post shared by EliseKovi (@elisekovi) on Jul 28, 2018 at 10:09am PDT

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Day 8 of 10 | Kinsale the town of many colors for daydreamers and coffee-sippers and word-lovers #reading books #travel #eatprayguinness #usedbooks #bringabookgetabook

A post shared by EliseKovi (@elisekovi) on Jul 28, 2018 at 10:19am PDT

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Tiny painted houses #Ireland #eatprayguinness #murphy #paddy

A post shared by EliseKovi (@elisekovi) on Jul 28, 2018 at 10:32am PDT

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Days 9 and 10 | Wicklow, Dublin | The views though. #sheep #eatprayguinness Tried to take the sheep home with me but TSA wouldn’t let me past the gate. I’ll be back! | “And be one traveler, long I stood…Two roads diverged in a wood and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” – Robert Frost

A post shared by EliseKovi (@elisekovi) on Jul 28, 2018 at 12:27pm PDT

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County Clare Cliffs of Moher | That’s me! Photo 📷: Another traveler #cliffsofmoher #ireland #drawing First semi-solo trip in the books. Will miss this, Ireland. You gave me all the beauty and all the feels and opened up a beautiful, new world. 🌍 #eatprayguinness

A post shared by EliseKovi (@elisekovi) on Jul 28, 2018 at 3:13pm PDT

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Luck of the Irish 🍀 Discovered this little clover before I took a leap of faith on a solo trip to Ireland. Found my Irish roots, found old friends (shoutout to HS cross country coach’s daughter in Dublin!), met new travel companions and places off the beaten path, hiked the tallest peak, drew for hours, chased sheep, poured Guinness, ran along the water’s edge, and re-awoke my creative side. More than luck, I gained courage and faith in myself. Watch out, 🗺. I got a backpack on and I’m coming for you. #EatPrayGuinness Hashtag Credit all goes to the ever-clever: @sarahlemz16

A post shared by EliseKovi (@elisekovi) on Jul 19, 2018 at 2:37pm PDT

While this recap aims to impress, I highly recommend you read Shelly’s Blog, a 9-year-old conquering the track and the world at ShellyNash.com, because her race story is much better told through her young, creative, and imaginative eyes.

It was a breezy, clear night when I stepped off of the plane and out into the terminal at San Diego International Airport, awaiting for the arrival of my sister and mom to pick me up from the terminal’s curb. One new voicemail message showed a red notification over my phone’s voicemail icon. I opened it up and pressed the phone to my ear. The sound of 9-year-old Shelly’s voice came over the speaker, excited and eager to tell me she was accepted to the Girls on the Run program and she wanted me to be her running buddy! I think my eyes welled up. It was the best greeting after having 6 hours of plane ride on me and feeling my body weary with wear and tear. I called back and eagerly left a message accepting the esteemed role of running buddy. The 5k she was referring to was the race that all of the girls in the program work toward for the school year, building on their runs each week, until they can run a full 3.1 miles. It’s more than that though. It’s a way for them to build confidence throughout the school year at ages when confidence in young girls can wane or become challenged with their changing bodies and new methods of bullying. It builds a community of girls just like them, promoting fitness, (and snacks! Don’t forget the snacks! Shelly will remind you.), friendship, and building others up.

I admire the work this organization is doing for girls, getting them involved at an early age in healthy habits and teaching the reasons behind it. Each week the girls get together for snack time, a lesson, and a mile run. At an early age they are learning what a community of positive, physically active, and supportive girls can accomplish when they believe in themselves and each other.

Race Day

At the start, Shelly’s group circled up and the coach led them in their cheer echoing the words of Bey, “Who runs the world?” “Girls!” They responded enthusiastically.

The start was buzzing with girls in pink, capes, glitter and smiles ready to run. A balloon arch and a megaphone signaled the start of the race. We were off down the course on a bright, sunny day, passing cheering moms, dads, grandparents, and siblings. Shelly’s mom and dad had signs waiting for us as we passed. Through the residential neighborhoods we ran while volunteers cheered us on! My favorite part was watching each girl with her running buddy for support and capes flapping in the wind behind them. We caught up to Shelly’s friend and encouraged each other as we took advantage of the water stops along the way and tackled the hills and the turns on the course. With the finish in sight, Shelly was fueled with a second wind of excitement and hustled through the balloon archway across the finish line.

My Superpower is Running. What is yours?

Girls_on_the_run_Shelly_and_Elise

About Girls on the Run

Girls on the Run is a national non-profit organization that instills confidence, wellness and fitness among young girls ages 8-13 around the country, and culminates in a final 5k to celebrate their achievements.

How you can get involved!

Volunteer! As a coach, as a snack distributor, as an esteemed running buddy, as a course marshal! Girls need strong role models to look up to and be their cheerleaders. What’s stopping you from being that role model? Get involved.

Don’t forget to hop on over to Shelly’s Blog Post on Girls on the Run and let her explain to you what “Stop and BRTHRR” means.

Interview with Shelly: 

Listen in: Audio

What is your name? Shelly Nash

How old are you? 10

What do you want to be when you grow up? Well, I wanted to be an astronaut or Star Wars. I want to be a chef. I want to work at Jamba Juice. That’s an odd one. Now, I’m starting to want to be a director or an actor.

Who inspires you and why? Elise. Ashley Eckstein. She plays my favorite Star Wars character, Ahsoka Tano. When she was little she said I want to have my own clothes shop and I want to work at Star Wars and now she’s like 30 and she’s accomplished both of those. She has an online clothes shop for girls called Her Universe. It has all kinds of geek clothes and stuff, like Star Wars, Star Trek, Alice and Wonderland and Ahsoka. She inspires me because she is very inspiring and reaches her goals. And then Supergirl inspires me because I want to be a superhero. All the independent Star Wars characters, like Princess Lei. Mommy inspires me and then Rapunzel inspires me. She’s a lot like me. She’s creative like me. She’s my favorite princess since I saw that movie.

What was it like to run with the organization Girls on the Run? It was awesome! I had so much fun. And afterschool when we went to the gym, my two great friends went to afterschool. Girls on the Run is a program for girls third to fifth grade. You’re not just running. You learn about activities like breathing and not to get all mad and to learn about your emotions.

What was it like to be part of a team? Awesome! I could never do sports because 1. I’m super clumsy and 2. My parents travel a lot so I could never be part of a sports team. So I was happy. And when I was like I can’t do this, my friends were like ‘You Got This!’

What did you learn from training with Girls on the Run? I learned about all the stuff. This is how the normal day went. You got off school and you went to the gym and 3 o’clock you got snacks and we learned about a certain topic every day and then we ran and we did a star of the day. I learned about how to pace yourself, be calm. I learned that it’s not just tag running around.

What was your favorite part of the season? All of it! Having fun with my friends, the 5K, running with Elise.

How did your 5K and can you describe the feeling of crossing the finish line? During the 5K I tried my best to be like I can run, I got this. But I felt a cramp. You know when we saw the finish line and we still had to go all this way. And I’m like I’m not gonna make it. After I crossed the finish line I felt like I could do anything and I could accomplish anything. I was like, ‘I’m on top of the world!’ Everybody was waiting in that big grass field area. I ran all the way across the field. I was so confident. I felt like I could accomplish anything.

What would you tell other girls who want to do Girls on the Run? It is an amazing program. You definitely should. But afterwards you should keep running. You should keep doing it. You shouldn’t go home and sit on the couch. You should go home feeling like you got this. I didn’t do this, but I want people to do this because it feels good — you should stretch afterwards. It’s amazing you should definitely do it. I had so much fun doing it. Ice and breathe.

Congratulations, Shelly! I could not be prouder. I’m so happy you did it, and I believe there will be many more in your future.

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We had a sermon about the disciple Peter. He was on a boat in rough waters and asked Jesus to let him walk on water. Peter stepped out of the boat in faith, and he walked on water. It is my absolute favorite parable. He’s walking on effing water! And then he falters and falls in, which is kind of funny, but also so true of life in general. You can be walking along, flying high in faith and then all of a sudden find yourself splashing around in the water like, “GAH! Save me! What. is. happening?!”

On that Sunday, our pastor spoke about his personal experience, saying, “I want to control my outcome. I want to control my future. I want to control my safety.” I related to his feelings. I like safety, I like sure things, I like comfy, cozy familiarity and predictability. But I also love spontaneity, miracles and divine surprises. And I cannot have those things without a little uncertainty and letting go of the reins…a little bit.

Flourishing in Fear with Knowing the Lord is in control and is the I Am

Mark 6:50 “Have courage; I am. Do not be afraid.”

Deuteronomy 31:8 “He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

Basically, the verses talk about the Lord being the “I Am,” the all-powerful, and the one to look to, particularly when fear comes a’knocking. He’s got the space to carry your load. He’s got your back and is working on all things for your good. I think whether you believe in a higher purpose or not that is such a nice sentiment to have – to believe that someone is rooting for you in all that you do. It flips this picture of hardship and having to tirelessly fend off obstacles and distractions, and instead repurposes it into knowing someone is carrying your burden for you – all those fears, worries and anxieties that have posted up nicely in your brain – and is working in your favor; so you do not have to fear. They are rooting for you. It reassures me to know that I am being supported in my endeavors.

We all need a little community. You have a support system out there for you in your community. Our pastor said, “The more you confess your fears to Jesus and others, the less power your fears have on you and the more you can walk in divine faith.” I have definitely experienced that directly. The more I talk about my fears and anxieties with trusted friends who know me and support me, the less power that fear has over me and the more freedom I have to walk in happiness and purpose. We all need to talk about the fears we have to put them into perspective, a smaller perspective that is easier to address and  to be able to take courage.

Taking Courage in Faith Because You Were Made to Do Great Things

Philippians 1:6 “…Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

This verse has been sticking in my mind recently. I love the feeling of hope that it brings, knowing that the great work or purpose in you that has started will make it to completion no matter what. No matter what. No matter what fears lay beneath the surface or sneak in unexpectedly to knock you into the impending waves you were quite literally just walking on. He is faithful to you no matter what because you were designed to do hard things, impactful things, purposeful things, things of love and light and hope and courage. These are the words of encouragement that I always turn to to re-frame my mind and get me going again on this bumpy road. I think we need these reassurances and reminders, especially when road blocks arise and fear pops in for an extended stay.

Looking back, I was fearful to sign up for my first marathon with a $4,000 commitment if I did not raise the necessary funds, fearful of moving to Boston with no family nearby and only two suitcases and my mom and me posted up in a hotel, fearful of every single fundraiser with the fear no one will show up and give (but you know what, they always do), and fearful to take a solo trip to Europe even when I knew my heart was calling me to it. Through all of these things, the Lord provided for me; I truly believe that. All of these things I stepped out in faith with fear. And I grew into a brighter version of me that I didn’t even know was possible. 9 years later, I’m still loving and living life in Boston, I’ve raised over $18,000 for cancer research, running marathons for 3 years and have been forever changed by the friends and memories I made on my trip. You would think after all these big, life-altering moments that all of my fear would be gone and I’m headed full-throttle to what lies ahead. I wish I could shout that with a jubilant “Yes!”, but fear didn’t and hasn’t gone away because I did all of those faith-challenging steps. But my faith has gotten stronger. And I hope one day my faith will be stronger than my fear altogether. Until then, we just keep building a stronger and stronger rope to hold on to and pull ourselves forward on this tug-of-war between faith and fear, continuing to grow and do progressively harder things that bring more growth and unexpected blessings.

“The Good Shephard knows how to guide to the other side,” said our pastor, “Step out of the boat.”

Each year I begin with a list of books in mind to read and make me happy. Since I scramble to keep any sort of New Year’s resolution, I felt this could be a nice intro to getting on that path. 2018’s list is below:

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2018 Reading List. A little fun, a little strong, a little inspiring. Not pictured because already finished and passed along to a friend, but I want people to talk about it with you: The Magnolia Story.

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Eleven. 80’s Tube Socks. A Statue. And Standing Strong in Pursuit of Her Dreams.

Miles: 6 biked, 11 stairs climbed

Song in my head: All things Halloween

Brunch Food Motivation: Fears and waffles

On a cool, wintry March day in New York City on International Women’s Day, McCann Ad Agency placed a sculpture in front of the Charging Bull sculpture on Wall Street. A lot of criticism and debate came out of that placement. For me, it was powerful. It was inspiring. I saw a little girl, hands on hips, standing up to these seemingly overwhelming, overpowering, solid fears. To me, I saw resilience. I saw determination. I saw the might to overcome and refusal to back down. I saw a little girl taking a stand.

She was fighting for what she believed in. She was fearless.

Photo Cred: Fortune.com

As the alarm went off at 5am and I pulled on my tights and tube socks, as I hopped aboard my bike, as I bounced to warm up and as I clamored to the top of the flights of stairs, I felt powerful, bold, unrestrained.

I felt the lyrics of Kesha ring through, “I’m a mother*&%ing woman, baby, alright,” as I ascended the eleventh stadium stairs. The DJ was blaring the jams, but that one stuck with me. It coursed through my arms and legs and resonated with me. (I mean, it’s Kesha, how could you not give a heck yeah, amirite?)

I was buoyed by the fact that two people recognized my costume. One shouted, “Where’s your Eggo’s!” And another dressed as Wolverine suggested we combine our superhero forces. In my pink dress, blue jacket, tube socks and best Eleven face, I channeled my inner Elle (short for Eleven) from Stranger Things (Netflix original series and fan favorite) as I ascended and descended the gargantuan stairs at Harvard Stadiums. I felt badass today. I felt strong. I felt like that fearless girl standing up to the bull. I felt powerful instead of powerless.

The Oxford Dictionary defines Fear as…DO NOT JUDGE ME! I have no other transition. Stay with me, people.

“Fear (n): a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.”

The thing here is “whether the threat is real or imagined.” It does not matter whether that fear is actual or made up, fear can stem from just that thought. (Be kind to yourself.) So basically we could be wandering around fearful of things only in our imagination. Much of what we fear is in our head, what we’ve imagined into existence. But what exists on the other side of that starting line?

Fear holds us back from becoming who we are really meant to be. It holds us back from trying new things, from releasing the beast within. It takes bravery to fully embrace you and the best parts of yourself. Uncertainty and the fear of the unknown prevent us from trying that new thing, from launching us into something foreign and new and profound. That course awaiting just beyond that starting line is where new, exciting, sometimes difficult things happens. When we stare down our fears with confidence, when we take a stance, hands on hips, challenge in our eyes and fire in our hearts and abandon in our souls, we can’t be beat. You’ve got the present moment guaranteed. Make the most of it. I need these gentle reminders. These badass people – imagined or real – to show me how to live life unrestrained.

November Project turned 6 years old today* (coming into existence on November 1, 2011, *now 7 years old since publishing this post). 6 years, 44 cities across countries globally, countless leaders and members. It was started by two friends fearless in pursuit of staying fit and fearless during the winter months–fearless in pursuit of starting and keeping a movement going, fearless in their dreams, inspired by a pledge to each other, taking a vow to #showup, and taking a stance, making it into something bigger than themselves.

You are one person. One person can have reverberating effects with the power to make an impact on the world.

Maybe that is why I donned the Eleven from Stranger Things costume on this cold, black morning. I was taking on the confidence and persona of Eleven, a girl with superhuman abilities, able to fully harness her mind and be a badass female leader. A force that reminds me ever so much of the girl standing before the Wall Street Charging Bull–brassy (pun very much intended), confident, courageous, gutsy. Fearless.

“A ship is always safe at home, but that’s not what it’s built for.” – Albert Einstein (my man)

The women of NASA, Amelia Earhart the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean, and Bobbi Gibb the first female long distance runners to run with the men – they all did something with determination and in spite of, I’m sure, fear. And they opened up a world of possibilities for not only themselves, but others following in their footsteps. All it takes is one bold, brassy move and a lot of will power.

I’m sure it was because I had one of my dearest, warm and joyous friends visiting me this weekend (one of the real-life individuals that provides me endless inspiration) and the fact that I was channeling my inner Elle (Eleven from Stranger Things), a badass young girl who was fighting back, but I was full of the inspiration to look at all of the barriers, can’ts, shouldn’ts, won’ts, worries – imagined and otherwise – head on. Because fear should not be the one thing holding you back from becoming you.

Bright tights and happy trails,

Elise

A short hike, a hut and a group of unwieldy climbers

Location: White Mountains, New Hampshire

Miles: 8 with 4,000 vertical ft

Song in my head: Take me Home, Country Road – John Denver (because that is what one hiker was singing at the summit)

Brunch food motivation: Hot Chocolate of the Hut kind

We huddled close, soaked to the skin in our shirts, pants and rain jackets. We cupped the hot chocolate a little tighter and allowed it to warm our insides. Nothing but white washed the outside windows. You couldn’t see what was north, which way was south nor anything in between. Every now and again the doors of the hut would swing open and another wide-eyed group of hikers would huddle through the doors seeking the shelter of the homemade bread, soup, and the reprieve of the hut. Long wooden benches lined one side, while the center was the hustle and bustle shift change of experienced hikers, Sunday hikers, and some families with the kitchen sitting off to the left. The mug of hot chocolate (nothing special just a packet and hot water) along with the dill soup were EVERYTHING. We had been hiking for just over 7 hours. And we had 3 miles to go.

We headed out into the hazardous conditions in our still wet clothing and new layers knowing 2 hours lay ahead of us between us and the car and mini-Twix as promised by Syed.

Not 12 hours earlier I had been boarding a Boston Express bus to meet Carolyn in New Hampshire for what would be an impromptu hike of Mount Lafayette and the Franconia Ridge Trail. We embraced as she picked me up from the station and we drove to pick up Syed. Carolyn is a tiger wrapped in sheep’s clothing. The most beautiful, docile in appearance with a beast inside, heart of gold, and a hilarious sense of humor. She had done this route before. Syed and I on the other hand, were still new to the mountains. Syed and I were her faithful warriors with 4,000 vertical feet between the two of us. This was my first time meeting Syed. He was absolutely wonderful, so warm and welcoming. “This is my first 4,000 footer,” said Syed as we entered his apartment. I breathed a sigh of relief. “Me too!” I exclaimed. We packed our bags with snacks and water and Syed drove us to the base of the White Mountains. Along the way, he recounted all of the research he had done on our trail. I thankfully knew what I was getting myself into, having heard the tales of Carolyn and her husband Eugenio’s adventures.

We pulled into the parking area at the base of the mountain. Other hikers were grabbing their packs and starting their way up the mountain. Onward we went. We took multiple, much-needed breaks. While Syed called the break directives, I was all too relieved to take in the blissful rests along the route.

We passed waterfalls, trees, and humble hikers galore. We chatted and caught up on life, made up stories and wandered on our path. One spot we were looking for was Shining Rock. Shining Rock was worth it. A little detour off of our path before reaching the summit. We all looked at each other and confirmed we still wanted to take the detour. It was a small, narrow, downward slope and at the end was a massive, white shining rock sticking out of the side of the mountain. We hit pause. We sat on the rock and looked out over the expansive view of New Hampshire, of the world. We felt small. We appreciated every part of the moment. We paused. It was absolutely gorgeous, the fall foliage greeting us with all of its red, orange, and yellow splendor. Shining Rock was in all of its glory, allowing hikers to glimpse at just a preview of the beauty the White Mountains held.

We happened upon other hikers as we emerged from our .1mile detour.  They asked us if it was worth it. We replied emphatically that it was! They poo-pooed the idea, despite our best efforts to assure them of its beauty, and declared they were here for the summit. That’s what they came for. We shrugged and continued on the trail.

As we reached the first summit (there are three total connected by a ridge – one mountain for each of us), we were met with wind whipping at our clothes and white clouds and more white clouds. There were dozens of hikers at the top. Their bodies made black shapes across the ridge with the white backdrop of clouds obscuring any view as they made their way across. It was a strange feeling, feeling you were at the top, but not knowing how far up, nor how far out you could see on any other clear day.

I could not have asked for better hiking companions on our tour along Franconia Ridge. They brought jokes, laughter, positivity and snacks…lots of snacks. Author’s Note: This is not the only reason I appreciated them and their shining personalities. It was a solid team: Car Keys, Hype Girl, and Boss Lady.*

There was another group at the summit singing “Take Me Home, West Virginiaaaaa! Take Me Home.” We all laughed. It was a reminder we weren’t the only ones out there. That there really wasn’t an option to turn back. Plus, we had to make it to the hut by 3pm. That had been our original plan to beat out the potential rain. We definitely weren’t making it to the hut by 3pm. And we definitely weren’t outhiking the rain. We were only at the first peak and there was no sign of Mother Nature taking back her wrath. The wind whipped hard in its best attempt to pin us to the mountain as we crested rocks and traversed the ridge. Hype mode on for all of us.

We made it to the Greenleaf Hut, the most adorable hut where you could break from the elements, regroup at the tables, meet other hikers, grab a change of clothes before venturing back out on the trail. It was the cutest New England lodge. Just cozy enough to give you a break, but not cozy enough to overstay your welcome, because, after all, you were there to climb.

We ended the hike in the dark, led by Boss Lady’s headlamp that she had remembered to pack. Teamwork makes the dream work. We highfived at the base of the mountain and in the parking lot to our lone car as Syed produced the promised treat.

We made it to the top. The one view we got was on Shining Rock, otherwise it was white clouds with an unknowing sense of where you were. We also talked about going back for the views. I sleepily smiled in the back, knowing I got something way better than views that day. I didn’t go for the views. I went to prove something to myself. I could be this new me. Maybe it’s not about finish lines, maybe it’s about the hard work, moments, laughs and unexpected people you meet along the way that’s really important. Maybe its about embracing the detours, the breaks, the unexpected. Maybe it’s the person that you’re becoming along the way, the friendships you’re gaining, the moments you’re sharing on the journey to the top that mark the experience.

“These mountains you are carrying, you were only meant to climb.” – Najwa Zebian

I think people go to the mountains to find themselves, to be reborn, and go back to their truest form. I just finished the book Unbound: A Story of Snow and Self-Discovery. More on that later, but she talks about starting lines and how they might just sneakily be as important as the finish lines. Her goal was to ski 4,000,000 vertical feet in one year spanning mountains across continents and countries. She had set out to break a record, but what she found out about herself as a person was the most important revelation. The people she met along the way and the blue ribbons she had been chasing opened her eyes to something entirely new about her way of living and her true, authentic self.

Mt Lafayette, Franconia Ridge

Mt Lafayette, Franconia Ridge

*Syed was in constant reminder mode that he held the car keys and that we could not leave him behind in our travels. We would never. No man left behind. Hype girl’s rules of the trail.

Buddy Up! Partner Running.

Miles: 4 + 37 Harvard Stadium Sections

Song in my head: Journey

Brunch food motivation: Zico Chocolate Coconut Water

This past weekend I went on a run with my running buddy, Meesh. We chose one of our old running haunts. It just felt right again. As we paced around the river and fell into sync with each other chatting about our days and weekends and travels, the cadence of the world seemed to fall into place. I felt in rhythm and ready to ease into Fall. We talked about our retirement from running – really just taking a break from marathoning for awhile, not leaving running, but instead running without training requirements, just whenever our heart desired.* The run was wonderful. The click of each step and falling into step with my running buddy is a feeling I can’t explain. It’s a connection with someone and the world around you. It’s something that makes me feel wholly me and connected to the world. It’s my favorite place to be. We wended our way around the Charles River, chatting and stepping in tune. At the end of the run, we stretched and sprawled out on the floor.

With her training for marathons and me being sidelined with injury, we hadn’t been on a buddy run in way too long, longer than I’d like to admit. And I needed it. I needed it to push me forward into Fall.

Partner training continued into Wednesday. Wednesday, The November Project workout was dubbed RelayMan and you partnered with another to relay run the stadiums. Every 5 stadiums you would tag in your partner. It was a different feeling to be able to see their face at the top of the steps, knowing someone was waiting for you there. Knowing you have someone there to get to, to pace with, to cheer for is something truly special.

Human Connection.

That’s what I love most about November Project. It’s what I love most about DFMC and running groups and community. It’s the human connection. You need a community or just someone to pull you back into the rhythm that sets your soul on fire. You need someone who brings out you, who reminds you of the unique, quirky, fun-loving self that brings out the best for the world. The world needs a little happiness. It needs a little you. My workout running buddies do that for me.

Instagram that week also showed posts of inspiration dedicated to the people that helped them grow into the athletes and runners and humans they were meant to become. You need people on this running journey to pick you up when you get knocked down, to make you laugh, to accompany you on the road ahead, and to just have bright nonsense with.

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Wednesdays aren't for waiting. Own today. #relayman #thetribeisstrong #40tree

A post shared by November Project Boston (@novemberprojectbos) on Sep 6, 2017 at 5:13am PDT

Pacers.

In Breaking2, Nike attempted to break the 2 hour marathon mark. Many runners scoffed at all of the engineering behind the event, as opposed to keeping running to its purest form, unexpected weather conditions, simple clothes and all. One thing fascinated me about that day, the idea that groups of pacers would come in and out during the race, every three miles a fresh group of runners would swap in. I loved this idea. A fresh group of pacers coming in to keep you moving forward.

I’ve been hitting a steady 9:46 pace around the river. Every single time. 9:46 I will end you.

“As for you, pour your time and passion into what brings you the most joy, your mission in life.” – Marie Kondo, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up

“October is about trees revealing colors they’ve hidden all year. People have an October as well.” – J.M. Storm

Go out and grab a buddy. We have a lot of changing and journeying to do.

*The “Retired Runners Club (RRC)” is really just what we call ourselves, but most still train for DFMC and run almost every day, and have signed up for other races. So we’re doing really great on that retired thing.

“Sometimes you have to slow down in order to move fast.” – Jenny Nash

[Heads Up: Belated New Year’s Post Ahead. But I think the musings still apply and there’s a super cool video with music to match, so there’s that.]

A New Year. A New You. As the lights flash on the countdown to new years, the ball drops with the light sparkling and reflecting off of it, and the crowd looks up in anticipation, I can’t help but feel we are feeling the same anticipation. The same longing, the same expectation, the same hope that this year will bring the joy and happiness we so desperately crave. As I was sitting at the bar, New Years Eve, hat on head and beer in hand, my friend and I talked about that. That desire for happiness and a fresh start.

I’ve been in PT for over a year now, going on two years on-and-off, for the same ailment. But I can finally start to see some improvement. Some glimmer of hope. I had lost motivation at one point. At several points if we’re being honest. The prolonged ailment had been to my own dismay and my own doing. The problem was I couldn’t see an end in sight and the option of staying disconnected seemed most enticing. I had checked out.

One night, I was scrolling through old posts from 3 years ago. It was about marathon training and how training often breaks you down each mile to build you up into a stronger person – wearing and tearing on your muscles, finding rest and recovery, and picking yourself up and doing it all again, only this time stronger and more experienced.

That’s what PT has taught me. Baby steps. Little steps. Slow, calculated steps. And eventually, if you put in the work, you will see improvements you didn’t even know were happening. I had been focusing on the race, on outrunning myself. Not focusing on the other aspects that were so central and integral to training. Rest and recovery. It’s a thing. A beautiful, beautiful thing. I was charging ahead, forcing the way into the future, not paying mind to the rest stops. Turns out you need those. You need those breaks. You need those moments to take a step back and pay mind to what is happening. You need to slow down in order to speed up.

I’ve been working on strength training, preparing and building my muscles for what is to come. And I’m already getting to run again and see improvements to my stride and my approach to training. I’m already feeling more balanced. In more ways than one. The tricky part is you have to put in the elbow grease, the counterintuitive work of slowing down to see the whole picture, even when you won’t see an improvement right away. In a world that is centered on instant gratification, it’s funny how right that saying is. Just taking a moment, one moment, to pause, evaluate and listen to your body, is so important to taking that step forward you have been so desperately waiting for.

I feel as though New Years is a mindset into happiness and a fresh start. The ball dropping and the countdown to a new year is giving you permission to find a clean slate. The chance to embrace a new you, taking all of the struggles and trials and learnings from the year and using them to make yourself stronger. And conversely, taking all of the immense blessings from the year and using them to bolster that strength. Moving forward.

I jokingly have been using “New Year, New You” as my battle cry. I think there’s some truth in it this year, though. I always thought New Year’s resolutions were inconsequential. The reason for that being, I thought we were constantly changing and could be making new years resolutions, goals, missions, year-round with us as we change and grow or as life throws us curve balls. I still feel that way. We’re constantly adapting to the waves of change. But I really feel a newness this year. When you get knocked down, there is the option to stay down, to give in to that sweet, sweet comfort of the floor beneath you. But what is down there? What is keeping us there in that spot?

You can’t outrun running. “You can’t walk away from running. It will always find you.” World Record holder for the marathon (running a sub 2:50) and mom to Olympian Shalane Flanagan, Cheryl Bridges, told me that this last Boston Marathon. (I fangirled) As I sat on the sidelines, cheering, I could not get that out of my head. I’ve been stealthily avoiding, making excuses, sabotaging my road to recovery, all on my own. I’ve been giving into the floor. With this injury I’ve learned what foods and nutrition fuel my body, what exercises complement my training, and how much I love the sport. I don’t want to hold myself back anymore. By slowing down, I’ve been able to see the minute pieces that have made up the three years of marathon training and what has led to success. I’ve broadened my view. I also see the parts I have been missing in order to create the whole picture.

As we sat at the bar, hats on heads, beers in hands, we realized growth comes from your perspective and what you make of the situation. Life is hard. Running is hard. Nothing comes easily, unless of course it’s a test of your strength and there to break you down and build you up into something new. But that’s what rest stops are for. Watch out world. I’ve hit my rest stops and I’m coming in hot this year.