[intro of someone doing a normal day-to-day activity with someone else around. suddenly the camera goes blurry and the audio gets all distorted. they collapse, it cuts to black, the theme plays]
cuddy: there’s this case. it’s weird because of these weird things. you might be interested
house: *limping through a hallway* im not interested
cuddy: but there IS this EXTRA weird thing about the case that i’m just mentioning as a side note
house: *grabs all the files out of her hand* i’ll do it
[house, cameron, foreman, and chase are in house’s office. house is at the whiteboard]
house: the symptoms are this, this, this, and this. what could it be?
chase: well it could be [fairly common disease]
house: come on! think outside the box!
cameron or foreman: well…… i guess it COULD be [much more obscure disease]
house: now THAT makes sense. put them on [medication for obscure disease].
[cameron, chase, or foreman are with the patient in the patient’s room]
cameron/chase/foreman: well, good news– you seem to be responding to treatment.
patient: *smiles* that’s great!
cameron/chase/foreman: and you can go home in a few days! *turns away briefly to write something on a clipboard*
[suddenly the patient starts shaking and convulsing and the monitor starts beeping really loud and fast]
cameron/chase/foreman: THEY’RE SEIZING! *GRABS PATIENT* ATIVAN, STAT!
[it cuts to black with the monitor still going crazy]
[house, cameron, chase, and foreman are back in house’s office with the whiteboard]
house: *snarkily* the treatment isn’t working. clearly it’s not [the first obscure disease]. any ideas?
cameron: it could be [another obscure disease], but this one symptom doesn’t match up.
house: it it possible……. our treatment could have caused that symptom?
cameron: oh my god…… yeah it’s definitely possible. get them on [medication for the second obscure disease] and [medication to reverse effects of the first medication], stat.
[a shot of the patient wheezing and looking pale while hooked up to a bunch of tubes is shown. house looks in through the window to the room thoughtfully]
house: this treatment isn’t working either. at this rate they’ll be dead by tomorrow morning.
chase/cameron/foreman: we’ve tried everything……….
house: *sees something completely random in the hallway* *suddenly looks REALLY thoughtful* wait a minute……..
chase/cameron/foreman: what?
house: *explains a disease that’s even more obscure than the first two and that is vaguely related to the random hallway thing*
chase/cameron/foreman: well, if you’re wrong, the treatment will kill them.
house: only one way to find out…….
[shot of medicine dripping into the iv, then fade to black]
[shot of patient looking significantly better, smiling and laughing]
chase/cameron/foreman: i can’t believe it worked……
house: *to the patient* we’ll have you home by tomorrow.
patient: thank you so much. *says something wise and deep that is vaguely related to house’s current emotional state*
baratheonpilled
snowghoul
stormborns
areudirty
gummygunk
izzy806
