I lived much of my life in a daydream. Numbness, probably, to be specific.

I felt closed off. I felt like an outsider. I was deeply shy and timid.

Feeling like there’s something fundamentally wrong with *me*.

I would quiver at any social interaction. I just wanted to be invisible.

I abandoned myself to cope with my horrendous household circumstances.

Escaping through obsessions with video games and crushes.

My only way of coping was to avoid my own life and I am just now beginning to wake up to the reality of it all. What were coping mechanisms to survive childhood have been holding me back from my potential.

I don’t want the past to completely define who I am anymore. I’m looking to start defining my life more intentionally, and to explore my creativity and interests.

1. Why this, why now