archived

🐝 ⠀  ⠀ ⠀  ⠀ ───────────  trinity thought of their life as a series of its grandest moments. indescribable opportunities like debuting on broadway at such a young age, or living in england for over a year by themselves as they played one of their dream roles on the west end. even things like impulsively flying out to italy with their parents for their birthday, or attending the tonys by their father’s side. instances that were larger than life itself were what they were taught to measure their worth by. why would finding love be any different ? trinity believed in all the tropes that fell in line with their favorite old hollywood films. they wanted the meet cute, the first date filled with witty remarks, and the kind of relationship that seemed to consume both of them. harrison had easily ticked the first two off the list. and when he was went them they were sure the third was getting its checkmark too. they’d always been good at believing in the things they wanted to be true, and ignoring everything else.

“ ah ─ that may be true but, a beautiful brain for a beautiful being needs its beauty rest. trust me. i’m a fellow beautiful being myself, i would know. ” they’re quick to combat at their disapproval of their recommendation. it wasn’t something they were willing to let go so easily ( no matter how cute they looked when they pouted ). the more time they spent with harrison the more that initial attraction began to blossom into full blown adoration. it was in everything he did; from the way they looked to them to the way they spoke that name special for just them. butterflies had taken permanent residence in their stomach as he was steadily etching their name in a special part of their heart. “ okay, okay ── no almonds. ” they laughed at their inflated passion with a shake of their head. “ i didn’t know you had such strong viewpoints on the subject. i’ll be sure to write a letter to my local whole foods and have them pulled from the shelves. my father is a reward member with them y’know ? he clearly has a lot of pull. ”

light hearted fun was never lacking whenever harrison was around. trinity was so typically a stressed little thing. there was also work to be done: an audition to prepare for, a list of things to shop for, parents to visit, and roommates to check in on. with him it was all too easy to forget about their self-imposed list of demands and just be. staying stuck in a moment was easy when they were stuck there with harrison snyder. “ so i’ve been told. ” they spoke, but their voice was not much more than a whisper. their own head tilting upwards in attempt to meet him halfway; their face scrunching up in approval as he called them cute. the smile hadn’t lasted too long as he pulled away without a kiss and left them pouting once again. they followed their lead with ease; their hands finding his own and removing themselves from the bed with features softening. “ i wouldn’t even dream of leaving your side. where else would i want to be ? ” 

     ( ─── :: trinity kane was amazing. there were so many bits and pieces of them to fall in love with. they commanded his attention every time the two of them were together just by existing ; they were smart, and beautiful, and watching them perform was enchanting whenever harrison got the chance to do so. and yet ? as the two of them slid cheeky comments back and fourth, harrison’s end felt just a step down from genuine. one the outside, it seemed so perfect. the two of them melded well together, one interesting person for another, and conversation never ran dry. trinity managed to keep up with him. they were saying all the right things. for all intents and purposes, trinity was the right person. and yet that spark that they so badly wanted to feel wasn’t there. harrison didn’t really know what they wanted out of love, but they knew that this wasn’t it.

     that didn’t mean that they weren’t enjoying themselves, though, and tricking themselves into believing it was. every moment spent with trinity, lest they be the love of his life or not, was one that harrison knew they wouldn’t regret. the two of them had a lot of fun together, and trinity was quick to bathe them in compliments that were always good for the ego ── harrison couldn’t deny that part of the reason they were still around was because of the way trinity made them feel. ( they had always been selfish like that. ) “ did i not text you the other night and find you awake at four am ? your logic, beautiful, wonderful trixie, is not sound. “ bringing his hands up to rest on either side of trinity’s face, he shook his head at them. the smallest pout pulled across his features. “ so if we’re talking about beautiful beings and their beauty rest, i feel like you’re just telling me what you think i should hear, instead of the truth. “ he paused, letting his tongue rest against his lower lip, “ i sill stand by my original idea . . ── “ his hands trailed from their face, drifting down to rest against their side and he pulled them in towards him, “ ── sleep is boring, and i think we could find other, far more fun ways to spend the next few hours . . . “ trailing off, they squeezed trinity’s hip, before letting their hand fall away from them.

for those accustomed to a regular nine-to-five schedule, the concept of working at night was a somewhat undesirable one. understandable, of course - the hours were long and antisocial, and one would be expected to become temporarily nocturnal for a week or so. the average working american perhaps had a partner, or children to go home to in the evening; a home-cooked meal waiting to be devoured after a long, hard day at the office before turning in for the night in preparation to repeat the same routine all over again the next morning, and the one after that. aven; however, could never fathom what was so desirable about said nine-to-five schedule. prior to graduating high school, aven vowed that he would never follow in the footsteps of his mother; working her ass off for minimum wage in a thankless sector. it wasn’t that he was ashamed of his upbringing - quite the opposite, in fact, but he could never quite figure out what he wanted to do. he desired something different to those of his school peers choosing to devote the first few years of adulthood to a degree that he knew he wasn’t smart enough for, and perhaps it was the unpredictability of each working day during his time spent across the pond that fuelled this desire to do more, to experience more. that was the funny thing about ambition, though. sometimes failure was to be expected. seven months ago to be exact, aven had learned to accept failure, and accept the cold, hard truth of the fact that, despite running to escape the norm, he had still wound up working his ass off in a thankless sector. ironic, really. still, he didn’t dwell on it. instead, he had started to (re)build a life for himself that, although wasn’t what he had strived for - and it definitely wasn’t desirable to that average working american with a partner and children, and a nine-to-five office schedule - it worked for him. as it turned out, the good ol’ staten island born-and-bred gardner status quo wasn’t all bad.  

nights at the gas station were total bliss as far as aven was concerned. sure, perhaps sometimes he did miss the unpredictable chaos that he had grown accustomed to for so long; however, unsociable hours served as an escape and - aside from the buzzing of the refrigerators or the cheap television that posed as background noise - offered a period of silence to chill out. well, it had done. up until a little while ago, it was rare for aven to serve even a single soul at this time of night; a quick pit stop from someone travelling out of state at the most. harrison; however, had become something of a regular. aven couldn’t quite recall his first interaction with harrison from the top of his head, though it was a given that harrison had made some sort of obscure comment or observation nevertheless. a peculiar character he was; however, there was something about them that aven had grown to like, and with that, the ringing of the doorbell at the same time each night, give or take, had become a unique part of his working routine. as if on cue, the door made its point of announcing harrison’s presence with its usual ding! though, not that he needed assistance with such a thing; their greeting that followed echoing across all four walls of the small structure. peering over the page of the newspaper that he was perusing a moment prior, aven’s gaze follows the familiar tuft of curls sticking up over the top of the shelves as harrison makes a beeline for the counter. “ s’up, man. ” he greets in response, folding the newspaper over and tossing it somewhat carelessly onto the surface between him and his night-time visitor. “ same old, same old. ” aven shrugs with a yawn, stretching his arms up behind his head. “ oh, before i forget—  ” he pauses mid-sentence, leaning over to reach into a box that was tucked underneath the counter. “ —don’t say i ain’t good to ya. ” he presents harrison with a couple of packets of little debbie cake bars. “ we got a whole new box in today. i ain’t snitchin’ if you won’t. ” a slight chuckle follows his comment. “ how’ve you been, anyway ? ”  

    ( ─── :: it was a sign of a deeper problem that harrison was there at such an ungodly hour of the night, likely running on only a few hours of sleep from the night before. but that was how it always was when he was going through periods like this ── harrison didn’t need sleep, they would insist to anybody who told them that they did. sleep was wasting valuable time that they could be spending doing other, more important things : they had school work to attend too, and work emails to catch up on, and friends to see, and dates to go on. there was a whole world of opportunities out there for them to grasp ; why on earth would he waste his time laying unconscious for a third of his day ? harrison failed to acknowledge ( or even really see ) the heavy toll that losing out on that much sleep had on his mental health ── how it made them more irritable, or impulsive, and how mental breakdowns were all too close at hand over the smallest of inconveniences. harrison would go, go, go ! until he would eventually crash. no amount of therapy or medication was able to completely eradicate the impact that the imbalance in his brain on his day-to-day life.

     for the moment, however, harrison believed they were happy, and that’s what mattered to them. what was life, if not to be enjoyed ? they had spent long enough of their time being miserable ── they didn’t need to feel that anymore. they avoided thinking about the negatives their impulsive behaviour would have on their life later ( that was for consideration during therapy ) and instead focused on how excited they were to visit their newly found, late-night gas station buddy. very few people were able to tolerate harrison’s obscene and strange behaviours without batting an eyelash, but aven had never questioned them. it was appreciated. so as he produced the snack cakes from beneath the counter, harrison couldn’t help but hide the grin that formed across his features at the kind gesture. " why would i snitch ? i get the better end of the deal. “ harrison insisted, reaching out to take the gift. flipping open the bag that was draped over his shoulder, harrison dumped the treats into it ── they would likely be forgotten in there until a later date by which they dumped everything out onto their bed and were shocked at the melted, gooey mess that had become of them, but for now they were safe inside. leaving one on the counter to snack on during their visit, harrison hoped over the counter, landing on the other side with a triumphant hum. 

       harrison snyder x luvena daniels ( @insoucivnts​ ) x levi himaya ( @levihimaya​​ )                        “ some hearts understand each other even in silence. “

closed starter for @avengardner​  location: whatever the name is of the gas station aven works at, at a really obscure hour.

   ( ─── :: harrison didn’t sleep well. they never had. even when they were able to fall asleep ( which was a rare enough occurrence on it’s own ) it was fitful and never lasted. usually, he found himself awake until the early hours of the morning for days at a time, and then his body would exhaust itself and give up ; there would be a day or two of nothing but burnt out exhaustion and then the cycle would repeat itself anew. they had given up on trying to fix it a long time ago, instead settling into their own strange version of routine. every night, around the same time, they would bundle themselves up against the winter weather and walk 10 minutes down the street to the twenty-four hour gas station. for about an hour they would pester the unsuspecting man behind the counter, and then they would go home. it was a nice little break from all the studying that usually took up his time this late in the evening, after lu and levi had gone to bed and were no longer an option.

☁️ ⠀  ⠀ ⠀  ⠀ ───────────  as usual, the smile on her face came easy whenever she was in the presence of levi and harrison. home took on new meaning for someone who went years of her life without one. after the first year of couch surfing and spending her income to stay in shotty motel rooms or hostels, the idea of having a place to call home went beyond walking through a threshold every evening. home had once been meals made from scratch after a three hour dance class with her mother and father; it was thursday nights sat around the television and laughing over one another they watched the latest episode of one of her corny pre-teen dramas. but home had also been her mother’s key in the lock at four am followed by whispered arguments over her whereabouts; it was coming into the living room to her father checking her credit card statements, and keeping an eye on the window. 

her definition of the word was skewed early on, but shattered completely when her father removed her ability to ever come back to it. being kicked out of the place she’d called home before her most formative years had left her with the belief that there wasn’t such a thing to be found. it wasn’t until she moved in with the two of them that she began to realize that home didn’t necessarily have to be a place. she looked forward to unlocking the door to find them fighting over the blanket left on the couch. it lit a fire under a long since frozen heart to see sushi resting comfortably on levi’s lap while harrison made the dangerous effort to clip his claws. when asher came out she found that his apartment felt just as much like home too, even more so than her own place. walking through the door of his home for the first time had felt like she’d been welcomed back after years apart. that four letter word was no longer something she felt she had to attach to a place. she could attach it to people.

once that appreciation for the two in the kitchen had settled in her heart, it never left. it was always with here. especially in moments like these where she watched them make use of their too-small-kitchen. “ chicken adobo ? that’s so crazy, i love it. never had it, but it sounds like it would be right up my alley y’know ? fits my vibe. ” luvena teased as if she didn’t devour anything levi put in front of her. every dish he made was an instant favorite because he’d cared enough to consider her in the first place. “ oh y’know that’s actually a really good idea. you’re going to be on your own on the balancing thing though so if you fall off you’re fucked. ” she spoke, typing up the poltergeist face melting scene into her phone before pulling up the image. she held it out for levi to took on with her and squinted for dramatic effect. “ these spot the difference games are getting harder and harder, snydog. what am i looking for ? ”

    ( ─── ::  “ half of what the recipe says with paprika instead of cumin ── got it ! “ grabbing down the spice they had been discussing, harrison leaned around levi so he could peek at the recipe. these kinds of moments had never been a part of his life. as much as she doted on him when he was young and easy manipulated, his mother never truly spent time with harrison. his father liked to pretend he didn’t exist. and his brothers ? well, they had never quite gotten along. the only times that his family were brought together was the dinner table, and those memories were fraught with arguments and awkward table top discussion. even now, holidays he was forced into partaking in were full of nothing except harsh looks and even harsher criticisms. even with the help they had gotten, it was hard not to feel like every time he saw them, it set him back a few steps mentally. he had come to learn that wasn’t what people who loved you did.

but that difficult upbringing was part of what gave harrison such a deep appreciation for the household in which they still lived. sure, it was full of teasing remarks and playful bullying, but harrison knew that it didn’t mean anything. harrison’s childhood home had been full of fear, with them looking over their shoulder for whatever cruel and unusual punishment their brothers were thinking up for them next. but inside this shitty brooklyn apartment, where the kitchen was too small for three people and there was paint peeling off the ceiling, he felt nothing but safe. his strange behaviours were accepted without question, and they never made him feel guilty when he was struggling ( which he so often was ). these were two people who harrison knew would always have their back, and that was something they had never had before.

status : closed / ( @harrisonsnyder​​ / @levihimaya​​ ) location : their apartment !

☁️ ⠀  ⠀ ⠀  ⠀ ───────────  there wasn’t a single person in the kitchen that should have been there. had luvena been home when levi and harrison had decided to make dinner for themselves she still wouldn’t have tried to stop them, but it would have been fun to see the wreck happen from the beginning. instead, she’d come home to a chaotic culinary episode in place and tried to use the process of elimination to narrow down what dish they could be cooking based on the mess accumulating on the counters. “ who let harrison watch the great british baker again ? ” she asked as she’d slid her way into the kitchen. her words had been nothing more than a taunt as she’d often sat on the counter while either of went from cabinet to pantry to put together a meal for the three of them. truthfully, luvena treated well balanced meals as a suggestion. for years a lot of her nutrition had come from the two of them being kind enough to share with her. 

luvena did try to pay it forward whenever levi was running too rampant to slow down, or harrison had trouble leaving his bed let alone his room; however, it usually came in the form of take out orders or left overs thieving from raleigh’s home. it was still too difficult for luvena to vocally extend her thank yous, but she didn’t have any problem leaving a tupperware container with their names on it in the fridge or by their bedside table. she hoped that had been enough for them too. “ what’s on the menu tonight ? just as always, if you guys start a fire sushi and i get to have access to the fire escape first since we’re the cutest. it’s the terms and conditions you signed to, can’t back out now. ” she continued to tease, taking a piece of whatever resting on the plate and popped it into her mouth.

   ( ─── :: harrison wasn’t completely sure what a family was supposed to feel like, but if asked to describe it, he would probably have described this. whether it was dancing around levi while he tried to cook, or stealing clothes from luvena’s closet without asking, or even carrying sushi around while the cat screamed in their arms, the somewhat dysfunctional chaos that the three of them had settled into was the safest place that harrison had. maybe none of them were particularly adept at saying out loud their love for each other, but it came in little ways. and harrison felt more appreciated within the walls of this apartment than he ever had in his childhood. ( and he appreciated the others who shared the space with him more, too. ) sliding across the kitchen floor ( which was definitely not big enough to do so on ), harrison tapped a rhythm across levi’s shoulders as he passed, and then came to a halt when their hip hit the counter at the end. squatting down, he pulled open a cupboard door, before turning to glance towards levi. “ okay. hear me out. what if we experimented, and put paprika instead of cumin ? i’m asking because i think we’re out of cumin. “ 

🐝 ⠀  ⠀ ⠀  ⠀ ───────────  it was hard to get lost in the chaos that was their mind when harrison was so close. while their eyes scanned script after script, still searching for the one that was just right, that sense of urgency had dissipated. trinity often worried that they’d never find the right show. that the momentum behind their name would die out, and they’d suffer the same fate as their father: a broadway almost. potential wasted because of their inability to stop their own voice out from being drowned by all the others. with harrison things went quiet, at least for the moment. he’d heard them loud and clear, hadn’t they ? whenever it felt like too much, they’d focus on the way his finger worked on their hair, or they’d take their own hand and draw circles on a spot of his thigh just above their knee and it’d all go quiet again.

“ bored ? ” they questioned feigning astonishment. their eyes still on their script scanning over the last few lines before their head made that impossible to do so. “ i can handle a lot of things harrison snyder but my baby being bored is not one of them. ” the smile came easy as they pushed themselves up from their half-lying position to sit up as well. they hadn’t even realized how much time had passed. an effect brought on by harrison’s presence, they were sure ( in addition to the little white pill that they swallowed down a few hours before his arrival ).  concern settling in their stomach as they realized that this was the fourth time this week he’d been up this late. “ how about…── ” trinity started as they scooted closer to them. their wrists resting of his shoulders so their hands could comb through the ends of their hair. “ we try to get some sleep hm ? we can make some magnolia tea, but i also have lavender if you prefer. i read almonds are good for sleeping too. ” 

it didn’t take trinity long to learn that, like them, harrison had a less than ideal sleep schedule. it seemed no matter the time of day they could text, and usually within a few minutes they’d have their response. while their concern may have been hypocritical, it manifested nonetheless. trinity was an all in kind of partner. if they were going to try and correct his sleep schedule, they wouldn’t make them do it alone. “ and if you’re still not tired after our kitchen raid i’m sure we can find something…── ” their voice dipped into something of whisper as they leaned in closer; their lips finding the place just below their ear. “ ── to tire you out. ” they concluded with kiss to his jaw before pulling back to meet their gaze again. “ how does that sound ? and don’t say no, you know how i feel about the word no. ” pout already forming on their lips as if to prove their point.

      ( ─── :: one of harrison’s biggest issues ── when it came to love, at least ── was that his idea of it was skewed. they created this magical, fantastical idea of what it meant to be in love and be loved in return, and every time that they wound up in a relationship that they considered as potentially ‘ long term ‘, he compared how he was feeling to how he thought he should be feeling ; of course, they always fell short. he liked trinity. he liked being around trinity. every time the two of them hung out together the time went too fast, and harrison felt comfortable in their presence. and yet, a small part of him still whispered in the back of his mind : they weren’t exactly what he was looking for. that feeling that they were searching was still notably absent. they still felt restless.

      they were quick to quiet those thoughts. whenever he felt them buzzing like flies in the back of his brain, he simply focused his attention in, on the moment ── on the good feelings, as was the harrison snyder specialty. leaning his head into their hands as their fingers found their way into his hair, he kept his gaze trained on their face. they could feel the slight twitch of their lips. trinity kane really was beautiful ── even moreso now than when he had seen them perform up on stage. harrison knew he should really be counting his blessings. “ but sleep is also boring, “ they were quick to point out as trinity suggested it, that tried and true manic energy finding it’s way back into their bloodstream once they had begun moving again. “ and almonds are gross ── i don’t care how many people tell me they’re a super food, they taste like dirt. “ their face twisted in disgust, though of course, they exaggerated the expression.

closed starter for @excberance​​ location: trinity’s apartment, bedroom? 

        the time on the clock blinked 2:00 AM, but harrison hadn’t noticed. for hours they’d been lounging in the same position, lanky frame half tucked around trinity’s while he flipped through the pages of his architectural drawings textbook and occasionally used their free hand to messily scrawl some half-baked thoughts about what they read in the margins. the other hand ── the occupied one ── was distracted with twirling a piece of trinity’s hair round and round his fingers. it was always like this: harrison had grown accustomed to constantly having some kind of contact with trinity, no matter how small, even as the silence stretched on for hours between them. it was what felt right ── well, mostly right. but he didn’t need to worry about that when things were so comfortable between them.

harrison alexander snyder: ( noun. )