R

“I need to stop fantasizing about running away to some other life, and start figuring out the one I have.”

“This was another of our fears: that Life wouldn’t turn out to be like Literature.”

“If this is the only life, then why am I not just doing everything I want to do?” - James Franco (via quotemadness)

““I hate the feeling of being clingy and pathetic and mad and jealous over someone who I can’t even call mine.””

“you know what fuck you. fuck you for liking her more. fuck you for not noticing how hard I’m trying. fuck you for not seeing how much effort I put in making you happy. fuck you for not realizing that your actions fucking hurt. fuck you.”

The girl who laughs too loud. Oh god, you could tell her to shut up before she even starts but there’s something about that high pitched laugh. It’s not a pretty laugh but it’s a laugh you’ll remember. The girl who smiles all the time at literally everything, who practices it in the mirror at night when everyone’s asleep or in the middle of the day when no one’s really paying attention to her. The girl who journeys alone. She’s not ugly, but she’s not beautiful. It makes her feel worthless sometimes, like love will never come her way like she expects it to on a midnight train. She wants the full experience, the love letters and chocolates and the lifetime together until you’re old and senile. She’d be the best girlfriend. She would be all in. The girl who breaks her own heart from time to time right on schedule. At least once every month, there’s one bad thought. Or a bad encounter with a friend or a good cry that feels like the end of the world. The girl who thinks she’s the only one who is different and that no one else could possibly understand her. She can’t wait to go to New York and do New York things. Maybe a little Paris too. This girl paints pictures in her mind everyday, to the point where it feels like she’s actually seeing them first hand. This girl is worth every single page.

One. You see her for the first time and she’ll walk right past you like you are a crack in the wall and she is a skyscraper with her head so high in the air and when you can’t sleep you’ll think about the way her eyes strayed into yours for a moment too long before breaking away and disappearing into the crowd of people. Two. She’ll look both ways before telling you she loves you under her breath and when she hugs you her eyes scan the empty room as if the walls had eyes and ears and mouths that could give you away. Three. When she’s curled up on your lap shaking with mismatched breaths you’ll wonder how someone who looked like she carried mountains on her shoulders could crumble so easily in your arms like the tornado in her mind finally hit her and knocked her off her feet. Four. In half-light she’ll run her fingers over your arms like she is reading words carved into your skin, binding them together into the perfect metaphor and you’ll hear it playback in your head at 4am when your head runs wild with thoughts of her. Five. You’ll find a safe haven on rooftops and abandoned rooms where she’ll set fire to your insides with hushed breaths between kisses planted perfectly on your lips and make you wonder how dangerous it is to play with wild flames while your body is made of paper. Six. You’ll stare God right in the eye and tell him that if loving her was a sin then you want no place in heaven with him because the way her lips fit perfectly on your neck is a type of paradise you’ll never forget.