heaven and hell

Don’t let the mixed signals fool you. Indecision is a decision.

I’d been hearing my name for 16 damn years but you made it sound like it was worth something.

I despise my own hypersensitiveness, which requires so much reassurance. It is certainly abnormal to crave so much to be loved and understood.

You wrecked me and I apologized.

I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know that there’s nothing but light when I see you.

Perhaps we’ll meet again when we’re better for each other.

my mother’s trust issues are leaking into my chest and I’ve got my father’s nose and his tendency to stop calling back so I’m sorry about the 9 missed calls I have from you and the 6 voicemails I never played I swear I’d love you if I could

I. We could have grown apart the old fashioned way- watched our love get old with the seasons. Maybe it would have left us in the fall. I could’ve written a poem about how winter felt without you. II. We could have broken each other’s hearts quietly. It could have been sad but simple- you’d stop laughing at my jokes and I’d fall asleep before you even came to bed. Even if our love had to die, we didn’t have to rip it apart. III. I want to go back in time and kiss our foreheads. I want to apologize to our younger selves for what we are going to do to them. I want to tell them to pack their things and leave in the night before they set each other on fire. Go. Go now. You don’t have any idea what is coming for you. IV. It didn’t have to hurt this much. I shouldn’t still be reeling. We could have watched our love grow old with the seasons.

"how’s laura?"