Fluent Sarcasm

As I am laying on my hammoc, just endulging my hearing with the noisy silence of nature I’ve been graciously invited to witness the wonder of life.

A gulp of swallows were on top of a high roof, big and little ones as well.

About six adult ones have started flying, followed by the little ones and then the rest of adults.

It seemed like their first time flying.

The young ones flapped their wings really fast and when they stopped, they descended a bit and then flapped again with a lot of energy, going back up.

Being all the time surrounded by the adults who were making circles all around theb but giving enough space for the babies to fly freely.

Along came a group of three more who looked like the leading ones. Flying with elegance, moving at the same time, turning left, then going dangerously low and going back up with absolute elegance.

In my mind, I decided, they were practising for when we reach the end of Summer and they need to migrate to a warmer climate in order to spend the Winter.

In the meantime, the rest of the gulp were practising flying and the adults seemed to be cheerful, just flying around, playing, enjoying life, just because.

The sky is quite a concurred highway, I must say.

Swallows, pigeons, sparrows, flies, a couple of bees and a ladybug who probably went to have lunch at my neighbor’s garden.

Nature is gracious, nature provides. We live in a privileged planet and most people miss these daily gifts by just focusing on the negative, buying into human supremacy’s big phallacy and with their heads and necks bended and bonded to the rectangular screen they hold in their hands, reading about tragedies, feeling envious about other peoples’ lifestyle and overall missing life as it was intended to be:

I'm going to pour my heart out in here, because I don't want to do it in real life for fear of being judged:

In a few days is going to be my birthday and I feel like a complete failure for having spent yet another year without a house that is a home and a family of my own.

Given the fact that I am one very particular person, and considering that all the stars need to align for me to make a move, I am positive that my forever partner in crime lives in another continent, where he may wonder similar things in silence.

So I patiently wait for the right time and the right person to build the home life I've always wished for.

However, I cannot help but wonder what went wrong. Maybe life wanted me to learn a lot and be ready for something magnificient.

I prefer clinging to that thought than giving up the marathon.

Externally, I portray someone who is happy being on my own.

Every night, before going to bed I look up at the sky and wonder what goes on out there; beyond our reach.

Tonight, the moon is shining bright as this one I painted for two lovely little sisters.

This brought me back to the quote from Peter Pan by JM Barrie ‘ Second star to the right and straight on ‘til morning’.

When I get the chance to give it to them, I will make sure they understand the star in the middle on the upper right corner is where Neverland is.

This way, they won’t just have a painting, but a dream, a hope, stories that go beyond what we can see with our naked eye and live on in our imagination.

Because no matter how old you get, one must never stop wondering, dreaming and believing that everything is more magical than the value most people give to it.

Since late February, I’ve been invaded by a feeling that comes and goes.

It’s a feeling that it’s more palpable whenever I am on my own and on my leisure time.

I’ve been trying to find the words to explain how I’ve feel and here we are, five months later and I’ve still yet to find a word that fully describes it.

Language can only go so far, and then there are gestures, looks, an embrace, a comfortable moment of silence next to another person.

Allow me to be a bit more specific:

It saddens me that in 2021 there’s still this misogyny instilled in society.

Some of you may follow my Youtube channel where I’ve hinted here and there what’s been bothering me.

I am going to be more explicit because I am done with it and I want to bring to the light what’s been going on:

I am not a bad looking woman and I like to look good for myself.

This hasn’t sit right with some women of the community where I live.

At first I was aware that there where comments of people telling ‘who does she thinks she is?’.

This escalated and it reached to a woman who clearly has some issues that need to be addressed by a professional.

The was once upon a time, a very mischievous dog. Her name was Cookie.

She befriended Maggie and Ari, and from the shelter she was the rookie.

On a sunny Sunday morning two girls decided to take them three on a hike.

And two miles into the forest, Ari and Maggie got scared when they saw a boy riding a bike.

‘We must hide!’ Quickly Cookie barked to his friends.

‘But where?’ Ari replied. ‘ We don’t know where this route ends’.

`Follow me!’ Cookie lied to them both. ‘I know of a place’.

‘If you come along with me, everybody will be safe’.

And so they ran through the bushes, the hills until the top.

They were so fast the two girls could do nothing in order for them to stop.

Cookie, on the horizon glimpsed and abandoned farm.

If we go hide in there, nobody will do us no harm.

The girls started running after them for over a mile or two.

But they could find them nowhere and started getting scared too.

`What if they get lost? What if they don’t know the way?’

‘If we stand still at a place and call them by their name, maybe they hear us and it’ll be OK’.

Meanwhile at the farm, Maggie’s harness got tangled with a mulberry bush.

‘Help me out!’ She asked to her friends.

Cookie came up with another plan. ‘I will pull the harness with my teeth and all you got to do, Ari, is push’.

But all the effort was in vain,

as some horns of the mulberry got stuck in Maggie’s skin and she started to feel pain.

‘Help me out!’ Maggie insisted to Ari and the other friend.

Cookie ran following the scent towards the girls while Ari ensured Maggie,

‘Have no fear, I’ll won’t leave you alone’.

He started barking as loud as he could so the girls could hear him from afar.

He barked and barked for it was the only thing he could do to help that problem to mend.

The girls heard his barking coming from the opposite direction,

and as they turned their heads they saw Cookie running towards them as fast as she could,

and they knew they had to take some action.

`Cookie! We thought we lost you!’ One of the girls said.

‘Come with me, girls!’ Cookie replied. ‘Help us out, before it’s too late’.

The three of them ran and took a shortcut where they crossed a canyon.

The was no time to lose, they had to rescue their companion.

Exhausted, they arrived where Maggie was trapped and Ari barked in fear.

‘Do not worry, my friends, we are finally here’.

One of the girls quickly unfastened Maggie’s harness to set her free.

‘I’m sorry I lied’. Cookie said. ‘Do not get upset with them, the one to blame is me’.

‘We’re happy the three of you are safe and sound’

‘Now you’ve learned the lesson to not go and hide where you cannot be found’.

And so, one of the girls pulled out the thorns from Maggie’s back and she felt a big relieve.

They headed back to the shelter while Cookie’s tail was in grief.

Even if you get scared, never run and hide from the ones you know.

If anything, get by their side to feel protected,

It was this house compound that had corridors designed as labyrinths.

I started climbing up a steep corridor, and it led to a big space filled with tables with people having dinner and everything was decorated in light yellow.

There you were sitting with three friends enjoying a meal and a tad wasted.

I went to your table and you looked me with smiley eyes, silent.

I told you: Listen, I got here first. Now don’t be foolish and give me a kiss.

We gave one another a soft kiss on the lips and before you could speak I made the Stop sign with my left hand and told you:

If you wait, I’ll be back.

Live for the times that you wish were upon us, not the times that are.

Maybe, and I mean just maybe, resilience could have a little bit of influence by the way of dreaming something beautiful into reality.

I'm tired of howling to you, Moon,

and looking to my reflection in you.

Whether I come or I go,

you always judge me.

Always deciding for the both of us.

Let go of the reigns, I'm begging.

'Cause I can barely be myself.

It's not that I'd rather dream in the dark

and caress you without seeing you fully.

But understand that I have my doubts

if you're only being a voyeur.

Let go of the reigns, I'm begging.

'Cause I can barely be myself.

Full Moon,

invisible are the threads that you handle.

Full Moon,

Picture this:

It is the beginning of Summer, you roll down the windows of the car, you hit Interstate 10 with your significant other and the wind blows your hair away from your face (that warm Summer breeze) as you're listening to Heroes by David Bowie.

All is good in the world, and you don't wish to be anywhere else than it that moment, with that person, doing this thing.

It hasn't happened yet.

But it will.

-When am I getting a child?

First, I like that you're talking about a child like it's a Nintendo Switch or something. When will I be getting a child? Well, I don't know but if I ordered one tonight, it wouldn't be arriving at customer service pickup for about nine or ten months, to begin with. I sort of do have a child on layaway. In the sense that I plan on having a child, I'm making small payments on the future child by the way I'm living my life accordingly in the plan of meeting the right person, settling down, and have babies...

Because I have in some ways, emotionally become out of the single life, but I'm not out of the single life. That's what you call emotional layaway.

-Helena, do you think you'll actually settle down?

This question would entail that I should have in the past, and I didn't. I don't like the word settle down. It would mean that the reason I haven't yet is because I don't want to and that is not true. Maybe the thing that makes me the saddest in my life is people getting surprised when I say I want the home life and they go surprised and

Presenting to you the most common types of periods:

The normal one:

'Sup, girl. Here we are, yet another month. Please be good to me. Let's be friends.

The serial killer:

What are you trying to do to me, kill me? Why do you hate me so much? Stop hurting me!

(Back to bed).

The Waldo:

Seriously, where are you? Where the heck are you?

The party pooper:

Are you kidding me? You weren't expected for another week. Why do you want to come with me on my vacation? You were neither planned nor invited.

The shy one:

Is that it? What happened to you this month? You'd never made a new human life.

The Niagara:

OMG! This would've been triplets or quadruplets.

The MIA before COVID-19 times:

Honey, sit down. We need to go to buy a test.

The MIA during COVID-19 times:

I sincerely hope you are not menopause. I am waaaay too young. Maybe it's just stress.

Now hand me a hot tea and a hot bottle of water, give me some ibuprofen and allow me to recover.

The self-date night has been canceled tonight.

Disclaimer:

So after having spent a few days observing every move of Ares, I came with the result. As it is different to remove anxiety from a human than a dog I started working on short periods of time but consistently.

Along showed up two obstacles in his process. A female in heat and an older male who is dominant.

Ares condition worsened.

They wanted to castrate him next week and I told them this is counterproductive as it affects the endocrine system and his fears would remain forever while now he still has a chance to overcome some of them if not all if addressed properly.

I informed of that and along came up old school and patriarchy. ‘What do you know about dogs, young woman?’

And so I contacted the head of department of Ethology from UAB.

He responded right away. The message was conclusive: Whatever you do, do not castrate this dog until he gets better.

I passed the message along as I thought a world renowned professional would be more convincing that this ‘little woman here’.

The response: What does he know? This dog will be castrated on Monday and that’s all there is to it.

Ignorant people can be the worst.

You best believe, tomorrow, I’m taking him to pay a visit to the ultimate specialist and come back with a diagnose and a signature, given the fact that my diagnose has not been taken seriously.

We’ll gamble a fine for moving while being locally confined but I am not allowing for that nonsense to get to fruition and me doing nothing about it.

I hate confronting people and tend to avoid it at all costs. But this is a living thing’s wellbeing.

So we’ll fight the fight, no matter what it takes, up until he recovers.

Nobody’s going down. Not under my watch.

On to fight with uninformed humans.

I am determined to preserve his testies (oh you read that right) for his own well-being and that’s how’s it going to go down.

It’s in times like this when one must remember that a lion doesn’t lose sleep over the opinion of sheep.

F*ck I hate confrontation!

But somebody’s gotta do the right thing for him.

Today, after lunch:

I went outside to have my coffee in the sun and I saw a handful of swallows flying once again in this area!

Whenever they show up is the sure sign that the good weather is back and the same applies when they leave.

It's like the exchange student birds, in a way.

Last year, by the time they came back, not even planes were in the sky and one could not help but envy that sense of freedom they transmitted.

We were home and they were so free and carefree, unaware of what was going on with humans, I bet.

Many wildlife animals that one can barely see, came to explore the town, from wild boars to ibex... you name it.

This was beautiful in every way imaginable.

To think they're always there, just that they need to conceal from us because we're a threat and that once they got the chance they came to explore the place where humans live.

I wonder when they came back what they told to the rest: 'The world of humans is empty, weird, confusing, crammed and not a lot of food, to be honest with you all.'

And so even though today, we're a bit freer than last year, there's still a long way to go for us.

Still, swallows, unaware of human laws and restrictions, have made it back here once again.

And now, more than ever, I wish I could go ahead and ask them: