Ema

*showtunes voice* i’ll keep it a hundred, i’ll keep it a buck! i’ll get my shit slurped on, i’ll get my shit sucked!

This is just Richard Cheese

listen i just read your bio and no one who is "covered in the blood of gods long dead", "tearing into divine flesh", and "devouring holy dread" should know about any type of fella named dick cheese

so i put my hands up theyre playing my song the evil skull flies away

Ever since i was a little spore i always knew i had to listen to so many remixes

Soooo… I met Jackie Chan at the Dallas airport and the experience was, shall we say, extremely disappointing? He wouldn’t kiss my BARELY INFECTED pet toad and when I asked if he would buy me a beer I did NOT mean some watered down American pilsner!!!

drink scotch whiskey all night long. and die behind the wheel

For everyone shaming me for using AI to write the rap songs about leadership I post on LinkedIn- yes the lyrics are from ChatGPT but the fursuit I’m wearing is ALL MINE.

My ford got a hydrolic module with a jumping bean in it

bro are drivers insane? That's like the second car-related post on Tumblr with the amount of hatred literally not seen under any other type of post ever

Yeah the jumping bean makes the car jump over/across

Road rage is so bad because it's the same rage anyone would feel at a computer working wrong, (slow internet, program not doing what you want, whatever), but it raises the stakes to "possibly literally life or death".

Basically it works by containing the power of the mexigan jumping bean to fire the cylanders inside of the wheel hydraulics and create a massive jumping force

Ok so no-one should be unreasonably angry about this but also the person in this diagram is being a dick and people are right to be a bit angry at them. For anyone who doesn’t know (and certainly I can only speak for the UK), the right hand lane is for passing other cars. It’s so people can safely do less than the speed limit in the left hand lane (as blue car is doing) and people who want to drive faster can overtake them. You are not supposed to stay in the right hand lane (provided both lanes are going to the same place). You are meant to pass the left hand car and move back to the left. Red car is being a prick.

Just shut the fuck up

being a star trek fujo also sucks because so many men in the show have created a sexy woman ai chatbot on the holodeck to flirt with and tell them theyre soooo handsome and cool. even when the same men cant fucking talk to women OUTSIDE the holodeck who have agency over their actions + behaviors. like yes i understand berman and roddenberry are misogynist and that will bleed through to the characters. but i keep getting disappointed by the fact that, even in the uber progressive 24th century, men do not see (or do not want to see) women as people.

watching vr porn of my boss and saying "dude this is JUST like Star Trek"

I never know what that old bald guy from the sports channel is talking about on the break room TV because it's muted and has captions off, but I love watching him constantly go back and forth on whether he wants to wear his glasses or just hold them in his hand

I'd rather people be too full of themselves than too hard on themselves. that said, I have no preference over whether people are too full or too hard in general.

im distributing centrist zines