emily cuffs

“It feels like the greatest tragedy to befall mankind”

– A. to her therapist one day after her boyfriend broke up with her

When you’re in it, the pain is raw. Like a tsunami, it overcomes you in giant waves, relentless and violent, eating up all your attention and emotional capacity.

The breakup of a formerly glorious relationship can feel like the greatest tragedy to befall mankind. At least in the universe of those who are experiencing it.

Cupid has not been kind to some of my friends in recent months. They went through anguish, self-doubt and heartache, much of which a cohort of supporters – my recovered self included – tried to mollify with ice cream, hugs and alcohol. The stories of their recent breakups haunted them – during their commute, in bathroom stalls at work, late at night.

But as we collectively and staggeringly grow out of painful breakups and emerge as changed people, the stories of these tragedies become different kinds of stories. They become dark, hilarious comedies that evoke tears from laughter, not grimaced, snot-drenched faces. They become stories worth bragging about, candidates for the worst breakup story in a circle of friends.

“Oh here’s a worse story!”“Nah-uh, I win this one!”“Wait ‘til you hear about this breakup.”

If time heals all wounds, then with enough temporal distance, perhaps a good number of these tragedies become nuggets of emotional wisdom that help us keep our own lives – and those of others – in perspective. They become stories we share like a bottle of wine, on which we feast with a bitter sweet understanding of the past as it pertains to our future.

With that insight – gained during moments of blissful solitude, dinner parties with home-cooked meals and walks with friends through all seasons in this godforsaken mammoth of a beautiful city – I would like to ask you all to share your story with me.

A friend and I made an app that allows you to call in your breakup stories. Call the number below (347-983-1841) and share your stories. You have 45 seconds for each story. Tell me about how someone broke up with you or how you broke up with someone. Tell me about crazy shit you did after a breakup or funny things you did for someone else after a breakup. Tell me funny stories, sad stories, epic stories. I want to hear them all: