Heya, I'm Elcee 🤗 early 30's, queer and ND, going by they/them pronouns. Welcome!
Writer, TTRPG enthusiast, music lover, and occasional psychology nerd (not trained, it's just a big interest of mine). And I do art sometimes. When the muse strikes.
Mostly posting and reblogging bg3, OC content, and writing things, and it's likely going to be like that for a while since I'm currently in the middle of writing my longfic for bg3, but you can consider this place to be a multi interest platform for all the aforementioned hobbies.
[Their masterpost is here]
Natavriel (Tav, they/them) and Storm (DU, he/him) exist in the same timeline. Storm is a forsaken Durge, having lost his duel to Orin (at least in the main timeline I write about, but I occasionally delve into a happy ending for them too). My longfic dealing with the consequences of that for Tav and Astarion is post canon, but I do write one shots during the events of the game too, and those are a tiny bit less tragic.
If there's only ONE post to read about them it's the one about the companions relationships with them, here :3
Storm's tag | Natavriel's tag
I don't do DNIs, but I do speak of heavy and dark topics very often, so proceed accordingly 🩶
Find me on AO3
Common tags : #elcee posts | #elcee writes | #elcee draws
All my posts without the reblogs, for quick browsing
More navigation links under the cut
(bg3 exclusive for now but who knows what the future may bring)
[AO3 link]
The battle is won, the Netherbrain defeated, and Astarion is free. But as he returns to the shadows, someone fails to follow him —his lover, child of Bhaal, condemned to madness by his own father. For weakness, for disobedience, it matters not, Storm is lost. Astarion navigates his grief with the help of Tav, and fights for closure as they both try to find where the balance of their friendship lies, now that Storm is gone.
In progress : 19/30. Updating... when I can.
Longfic Interview is here
The context of how this happened in my head can be found here
General tag | WIP tag
Snippets of my Dark Urge's tadpole journey alongside Natavriel, of their platonic bond, of his friendships with the tadfools, and of his romance with Astarion
POV varies between Storm and Tav
Home (some backstory, lots of angst)
[AO3][Tumblr]
Violent Delights, Violent Ends (durge backstory, tragedy, mind the tags)
[AO3]
A Name is a Powerful Thing (angst, some minor comfort in the form of Tav being here, mind the tags. One of my fav piece of writing ever.)
[AO3][Tumblr]
Conflicts Of The Mind (act I angst, hurt/comfort, mental health exploration)
[AO3] In progress : 3/4
His fangs mean Death (character study for my Durge, mild smut)
[AO3]
(mostly, those are the chapters of the previous fic diving into Astarion's memory of the tadpole journey, and they more or less all work as standalone if that's all you have the space for)
The simple plan (angst and comfort, durgestarion/bloodspark)
Kindness is a hateful thing (hurt/comfort, durgestarion/bloodspark)
[AO3][Tumblr]
You will feel my hunger (hurt no comfort, durgestarion/bloodspark)
[AO3][Tumblr]
Here Comes the Sun Again (fluffy angst? is that a thing?, Tav & Astarion)
[AO3][Tumblr]
Stay (angst)
This one is about Nocturne and Shadowheart! Also unedited because it was for a flash fiction prompt and I rarely go back on those
Only on Tumblr (if I edit it it might make it to AO3 one day)
First Snow (fluff, Shadowheart x Halsin x Karlach)
[AO3][Tumblr]
Astarion and gratitude
Astarion and Drizzt
Astarion's resilience
Astarion thinks deus ex machinas are very twee
Why Astarion's character resonnated with me (answerring an ask)
Shar, Shadowheart, and grief
My favourite BG3 NPC (it's Doni, if you don't know who that is go read the post and I might forgive you /j)
Karlach/Shadowheart/Halsin headcanon
Karlach/Shadowheart/Halsin relationship post game
The Natavriel/Storm/Astarion situation
My Gale'zel version
The Mucha series
(almost complete with the Origin companions, I'm only missing Karalch :3)
Hugs (Astarion x Storm & Natavriel)
A Night of Peace (also Astarion x Storm & Natavriel)
Kitten Agression (still Astarion x Storm & Natavriel but happy)
I Hold You (Storm and Tav QPR)
Kisss 🩶 (bloodspark)
Wyll's portrait
Not everything is listed here, just my fav pieces 🩶
Yae of Evereska for @burnt-by-marigolds
Ellith for @litsenn
I have so many things planned here, and so little bandwidth for it 😅 More will come, eventually 🩶
An Unexpected Invitation - Gift fic by @missfortunetherogue, featuring their OC, Miss Fortune/Sasha Amastacia
The Silent Three - VP by @burnt-by-marigolds, Storm sharing the pantheon of silence with Yae and River
All in the Golden Afternoon - VP by @burnt-by-marigolds with their OCs Yae and Kirian
Storm's portrait - Art by @theya-art
Storm and Natavriel's Christmas - Art by @endermal
The Hopeful Masquerade - VP set by @/burnt-by-marigolds, with many other OCS :3
Thank you, you wonderful people 🩶✨
Most of those are written in one go, and unedited, so they have various degrees of quality haha
I do those mostly as a way to practice, and also because I like to procrastinate when I'm at work
(yes, those have all been written on company time... Does that mean I'm a paid writer??)
Gravity [Read on Tumblr][AO3]
This one is dark. CW : depression, suicide (though not super explicit)
Chrysalis [Read on Tumblr]
WoD:Changeling themed if you squint
There is power in a name [Read on Tumblr]
Also about faes, if the fae in question is a child snatcher
Night Killer [Read on Tumblr]
This one is an experiment with some worldbuilding I had done a long time ago and I wanted to bring back. I had a lot of fun writing it but I'm not sure how readable it is.
You blood is mercy [Read on Tumblr]
This one is also dark. CW : child's death (more or less)
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Whew. Been a while since I wipped xD I'm sorry guys for being so inconsistent, it's definitely not going to get better now that I am working full time again ^^
Thank you so much to everyone who tagged me in the past month, please accept a uno reverse tag, @litsenn, @optimisticgrey, @scoldingdarjeeling, @riddlerosehearts, @missfortunetherogue, @wild-surge, @lucretiouswept, @bladesingerlily 🫶 Also tagging @burnt-by-marigolds, @lilhumanoid, @coincoin-zinzin, @heartcrystal2000 and @the-starflower if and whenever you want to share something :3
Here's some more Storm and Natavriel bonding, three days into the journey, because I've been working on the epilogue to A Name is a Powerful Thing. As always with early game, Storm isn't talking much ^^ He's trying, alright? Being brain-damaged Durge is not easy x)
A peek through half open flaps let them know that Storm was resting, but still awake. They tapped two fingers against the fabric to announce their arrival.
"Hey," they greeted him softly when he sat up. "Can I sit with you?"
He nodded slowly, and they joined him on the floor of the entrance, sitting cross-legged by his side on the old rug they'd found abandoned somewhere in the Grove, and claimed for him to use.
"I have a gift for you. Well, two gifts, really."
The first one of these gifts had been loosely hanging on their thumb, and they took it off to present it to him flat on their palm. A ring, made from the one he had picked from their stash, that first night.
Rather than removing the stone from the original ring and having to embed it in a new one, Tav had simply cut out part of the gold before resizing the ring with silver —matching Storm's existing jewellery. The barest hint of gold still surrounded the inlaid blue stone, before melting away in the silver, the mingling of the two metal forming elegant swirls along the smooth surface.
Between the dimness of his resting space, and the beard still obscuring half his face, Storm's half-smile was barely visible. Tav still answered it with one of their own when he picked up their gift.
He tried it on each of his jewellery-free fingers, flexing his hands with a frown that grew a little deeper each time. The ring escaped his clumsy fingers on three separate occasions, and Tav caught it just before it rolled out of the tent, handing it back to him silently. His balance had seemed to improve slightly over the past few days, but most of the finer motions still proved difficult. As long as he didn't ask for help or wasn't at risk of hurting himself, though, Tav was intent on letting him do most things on his own.
"I can resize it again if it doesn't fit anywhere."
A subtle shaking of his head answered their offer. Clearly, this was not the problem.
Storm then removed one of his own already present rings before replacing it with the one Tav had just given him back for the third time. He flexed his hand once more, nodded, ran his thumb over the stone, and looked back at Tav with a hint of a smile back on his face. They couldn't help but glance at his own ring, now abandoned on the floor of his tent.
"You don't have to wear this one if you'd prefer to keep your own, you know."
Another shaking of head, and Storm held their gaze intently, the way he sometimes did when he wanted to say something and struggled to do so.
"I keep… that one." He ran his thumb over the smooth stone again. "Thank you."
So often these past three days, he had battled with his words for no other reasons than to offer thanks and appreciation, when most of the people having no trouble speaking voiced demands and expectations instead. On the first night, when the first complete sentence to cross his lips had been a sassy retort to their teasing observation that he didn't speak much, Tav had thought —very reasonably— that they might very well be willing to die for this man.
Anyone putting this much energy into humour, when the day had offered nothing but pain and fear before that point, was someone they wanted to protect at all cost.
I will make no promises as to when I'll publish that chapter ^^ "Eventually" is my ETA xD
Thank you @litsen for the tag!!! I also spoke: here, here and here
But here, I'll develop more!!
The name Caedus is an important name for my Durge but also for me. This name accompanies me since a long time, since my teenage years.
Part 1: A galaxy far far away
The name Caedus comes of my another favorite fandom: Star Wars.
Caedus cames from the sith name: Darth Caedus. This is a name of a villain. The word Caedus comes for the latin: Caeda/Caedes which means: murder, slaughter.
In Star Wars universe, the villain Darth Caedus is more near of Ketheric Thorm and Gortash than Durge. He's a person who join the dark side to try to stop the war and stop horror of this but he made totally the opposite blind by the Dark Side. He finally became a tyrant. He's a tragic character who lived the horror of wars and loss of his brother and friends, these tragic events openned the door of the Dark side for this character.
Darth Caedus
Before to join the dark side, he was a kind person who loved animals. Who prefers to resolve conflict whitout to use violence.
This character was clearly an inspiration for my Durge: the name, this meaning is just perfect for a Durge. But his kind personnality before to become a Sith Lord and his appareance were also little an inspiration especially as the lost mage.
The name Caedus is also a tribute to my another favorite universe and this charactar who is my favorite Star Wars character.
I also love the name of Caedus because it's an ancien word a latin word, it adds a mysterious side to my Durge.
Part 2: The name who kills the urges
Caedus is the birth name of my Durge, gave by Bhaal himself. Even their name was given by Bhaal, for Caedus this name is the name of freedom, it's Caedus who defeated the urges, their past. It's so symbolic for them. So naturally they keep this name. Caedus could be take their adoptive name: Monthea Stonehell but they don't remember this name. Take another name will be not natural for Caedus. They only knew this name since their awakening in the Nautiloid.
It's also like Shadowheart who keeps this name after to be free of Shar and I like so much that.
A free of Bhaal Caedus
I could not resist to take a screenshots with the two villains together, you know me and my love of crossover!!! lol
For Bhaalist Caedus, there is a new person to manipulate and after to sacrifice to Bhaal.
Mods used:
Darth Caedus: face, outfit, lightsaber, hair, eyes
Bhaalist Caedus: outfit, earrings, crown, dye, eyes: here and here
Caedus' outfit lost mage act 3
Pose: here and here
QSAT
Lighty lights
Place
custom companion
I already talked about it a bit (here), but let's do it again 🖤
'Ellith' is a name I created, based on Tolkien's etymologies for both Sindarin and Quenya, and their mutual influences during the First Age of Middle-earth.
Basically, el is the etymological root that is most often related to the stars : Elbereth -> Lady of the Stars, Eldalië -> people of the stars (the Elves), which gave 'Eldar' and 'Ellon/Elleth', or even Elendil (Elf-friend) among many other words in both Quenya and Sindarin and other elven dialects.
'Lith' means ashes/dust/sand in Sindarin, and it's related to Quenya 'litse' , both coming from the root lit.
As you can imagine, 'Litse' is also related to my own username. As for the '-nna' ending, it's a Quenya suffix to indicate a destination ( '-men' in sindarin). Therefore 'Litsen' is a sort of mix between Sindarin and Quenya of my own invention which should mean 'to the dust/ashes' (not sure Tolkien would approve of my use of his etymologies - I'm no linguistic scholar - but the man is not longer here to judge me anyway so who cares).
And it's all related to one of my former OC, Seregtari, who was a version of Lilith but adapted to Middle-earth - back then I tried to find a Tolkien-ish etymological explanation for her name, which would make sense in his legendarium.
[Seregtari, a commission I made back then to @tosquinha]
After many circumvolutions, I decided that 'Lilith' would be a diminutive for 'Lithenna', which basically means the same thing as Litsen, but with the Sindarin Lith + quenya -nna -> 'to the dust/toward the dust'. Again, not sure Tolkien would approve any of this but I'm just playing with the etymologies he created to make it fit the story I want to tell (and my personal tastes).
And Lithenna became a username of mine for a few years (I changed it to Litsen because the "a" ending made it sound like a fem name and I didn't want to be ultimately perceived as a she-person. Litsen sounds a little more "neutral", I think).
Anyway, my OC Ellith is based on my former OC 'Lilith Seregtari', so I wanted a name that could be a reminder of it but in a different way, still with the connection to ashes - so Ellith basically means 'stardust' or 'star-ashes' (I didn't know anything about the Durge story back then, but when I first heard them say "all is ash and meat', I was delighted ahaha).
Of course, the languages of Faerûn aren't that of Tolkien's (although inspired by it in many ways), but still, I like to pretend their name keeps its meaning for the people of Faerûn (I briefly mentioned how they received their name in this fic).
As you can imagine, it means quite a lot to me, first of all because I wouldn't be here today in my professional and personal life, but also online life, without Tolkien's work and legendarium. His tales were the fertile ground from which most of my imagination sprouted and keeps on growing. As for the imagery of Lilith, it really meant a lot to me as I was growing up, I studied it a lot at uni through literature, cultural analysis and art, and I think it shaped me as a person somehow. So this is an ingredient I can't leave aside, even for a genderfluid character.
I hope it makes sense ahaha 😅 All in all that's a name that encapsulates many parts of my imagination and the little bit of creativity I've managed to channel through my OCs and fantasy preferences.
Alright, folks, the vacation bug has finally infected my brain, and I am officially out of commission, lol. And yeah, some of that infamous European heat has graced my corner of the world as well this week. So, yeah, expect me to be a lizard on the rocks *wink wink*
Thank you for tagging me along,🌻@litsenn! I thought you, in particular, might like this little demonstration of druidic politics...
Halsin remained relaxed, his eyes tracking her progress until she rounded a corner, his hands open at each side, his stance loose.
Waiting.
"Ah, you must be the man of legend, Master Halsin!" Tempest’s uncle said, with a gloved hand outstretched.
Halsin studied the offered hand in greeting before flicking his eyes back up.
Accepting.
"It is my true honor and pleasure to make your acquaintance. I am Alastair, the future of House Valourheart, and I wish to extend my—Hngh!"
A crack of fine bones interrupted the man’s prattling, followed by a crick of surrender from a pair of wooden soles.
Alastair, disoriented, now found himself trapped under the hulking druid’s shadow.
Halsin’s imposing figure worked in his favor, turning them away from prying eyes, avoiding suspicion.
An expression of camaraderie between gentlemen, nothing more.
Halsin leaned in, his voice low but undeniable.
“If I catch a whiff of a Zhentarim presence on those docks again…”
Alastair’s mouth worked uselessly, understanding draining the blood from his features,
“…you’ll not only find the road to Moonrise blocked by a landslide—you’ll find your merchant galleons at the bottom of the Chionthar.”
Halsin waited for his words to sink in before he continued.
“And as for Tempest…” Alastair flinched in agony from the sudden twist and angle of his comparatively diminutive wrist.
A pop of bones punctuated by a whimper,
“…you’ll never touch her again. Dishonor her name, and I will visit nature’s fury upon you,” Halsin growled.
He held the uncle’s eyes a beat longer before releasing him, leaving Alastair to nurse the compressed bones in his hand and wrist.
“Indeed. Your renown and reputation precede you, Master Halsin. Truly, the Emerald Enclave breeds champions of the wilds—equal parts admired for your benevolence and feared for your swift retribution. We are…most fortunate to have you standing at Tempest's side.”
“Excuse me.” With a bow, the perfumed charlatan drew a hasty retreat, personal guards in tow.
Are you even ‘pure’...
The words echoed in Halsin’s mind, something half-forgotten resurfacing once more...
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ty for the tags @litsenn @missfortunetherogue @spillingteanotpermitted @perpetualmaladaptivedaydream - think that's everyone who's tagged me recently!
tagging: @lilhumanoid @heartcrystal2000 @fireflyeyes @thepalelawyer @elceewunjo @dr4gonwriter and reverse tagging everyone above if you have anything new to share!
yes, it's past 10 PM in my timezone, and i feel the need to prove that i am actually still working on pride month stuff and i didn't just give up halfway through last month. i meant to only slow down a little, then "a little" turned into "a lot" because so much happened at the end of the month... anyway, this is from my fic for day 15: purple - spirit.
(the idea here is that it's essentially about the spirit of their wedding vows... is that a loose interpretation of the prompt? maybe. but it's what i came up with, lol. also i really wanted an excuse to write about this.)
"Sweetheart," Elenion said from the doorway, "please tell me you're not revising lecture notes the night before our anniversary."
Gale startled, one hand sweeping over the papers with all the subtlety of a cat knocking a goblet off a table. Which was not the behavior of an innocent man.
"Gale."
"Len," Gale said, looking down at his hand still spread uselessly over the papers. "I… appear to have reacted in a manner that has made this significantly more suspicious."
Elenion's eyebrow rose.
Gale held his gaze for a moment, then sighed. "I was only reminiscing, darling. I'm sorry I woke you."
When Elenion stepped closer, they saw their own name at the top of the nearest page, followed by a single word underlined twice.
Vows.
These clearly weren't lecture notes.
Their gaze moved over the desk: page after page in Gale's careful hand, whole sentences crossed out and rewritten in increasingly desperate strokes.
"Gale," they said slowly, "are these drafts of your wedding vows?"
Gale glanced down at the papers. "…Some of them."
Elenion looked pointedly at the desk.
"Most," Gale amended.
"All of them?"
There was a pause.
Gale cleared his throat. "All seventeen of them, yes."
Elenion let out a soft laugh. "Why am I not surprised?"
"I may have suffered a minor linguistic crisis," Gale said with a small, embarrassed smile. "I wanted to get them right."
Elenion’s gaze caught on the first line of the nearest page. "I have looked to the stars all my life," he read aloud, "yet none have guided me so surely as the constellation of your gaze."
Gale closed his eyes. "That was from an early draft."
"I can tell."
He glanced down again, his smile softening. "It's beautiful, though. A bit absurd, but beautiful."
Gale opened one eye.
Elenion picked up another page before Gale could object. “Your beauty is a theorem for which my heart has no proof, and yet all evidence compels belief.”
Gale made a strangled sound. "I will remind you," he said, "that these pages were never meant to be subjected to bardic critique."
"Then maybe you shouldn't have married a renowned bard."
"A tactical oversight."
Elenion’s gaze flicked to another page and stopped. "Gale. This one continues on the back."
Gale's hand twitched toward it. "It was very late when I wrote that one."
Elenion smiled and shook his head. “Did Tara read these?”
Gale let out a deep sigh. "She was merciless. She once advised me that vows are traditionally expected to end before the guests begin aging visibly."
A laugh slipped out before Elenion could stop it. "Very wise of her."
Gale reached for the pages, but Elenion lifted them just out of reach.
"No, I need time with these. They're historical evidence."
"They are private evidence."
"Evidence that you loved me so much you temporarily forgot how language works?"
Gale’s mouth opened, then closed again. "Yes," he said softly. "Something like that."
It’s Disability Pride Month! And you know what that means, right? No? Well it has been ages and I’ve long been casually planning a series of short (maybe) essays around the parallels to disability - and the clearer disability representation - throughout Baldur’s Gate 3 in both the characters and the story. So what better month than this to finally work on them and bring them out?
Whilst I do have some personal lived experience with disability, this doesn’t account for every type of condition or all the ways that different disabilities affect so many of us. Two people with the same condition can have quite a different lived experience, and even the condition itself can vary significantly. So what I mean to say here, loves, is that if you have a differing opinion, or there’s something I’ve missed, or you’d just like to add your thoughts - please do just that!
I welcome hearing from all of you about how you relate to the game through your own lived experiences, and what the characters can mean to you. Representation isn’t always clear, but honestly I think when we look closer we can see parts of all kinds of experiences reflected through the characters and story.
So, what I intend to do is create a series of essays, looking in depth at the potential parallels we can see in each of the main companions that I’m most familiar with (unfortunately I don’t know Minthara well enough to include her in this, but I would welcome input from others!) and then perhaps some of the other characters. (Edit - all pieces completed for now, next year I may add more!)
These pieces are not meant to be diagnostic in any way, or claiming “this character has this illness”, but instead is a look at how the characters and their stories and details can be similar to real world disability and health, and how different people might find ways to relate to their experiences through this.
Links to the Disability Discussion Posts
Karlach - Terminal Illness (Completed)
Wyll - Sudden Physical Change (Traumatic Incident) (Completed)
Gale - Chronic Illness, Autism (Completed)
Astarion - Complex Needs, Specialised Diets, and Addiction (Completed)
Lae’zel - Ableism, Eugenics, and More Neurodiversity (Completed)
Shadowheart - Memory Difficulties, Depression, Fluctuating Chronic Pain (Completed)
Halsin - Carer Fatigue and The End Of The Path Of Healing (Completed)
Gortash - Invisible Disability and Visible Mobility Aids (Completed)
---
I'm not sure how quickly I'll get through posting these as I'm having a tough time with my own physical health right now - isn't that ironic? - but I do intend to get through at least this list by the end of July in between fic writing and other projects.
If you would like to suggest other characters, storylines, or disability related topics in BG3 please let me know! I'd love to hear how you all relate to the game and the characters from these angles too, and I might be willing to add things to this list if I can.
Lia's Disability Experience
As a little peek behind the curtain (and for full disclosure that I'm not an abled person here to talk over disabled experiences) without giving you too much of myself on the single plate, my lived experience is with an unpredictable chronic pain condition as well as a few other chronic illnesses and disability issues. I'm a wheelchair user, partially ambulatory (essentially I can shamble around in my home with assistance but outside the house I rely on my wheels), and my most prevalent symptom is constant pain.
I have made vague references to these things in a few works and the experience does provide me with some fic inspiration for a couple of works. I'm far too familiar with Loviatar's embrace, but I feel this is something that can be used to my advantage at times like these where I can examine the characters and storylines from angles that abled people might not consider.
Your Input!
I really would love to hear from all of you - what other characters do you feel reflect some of the lived experiences of disabled people? Are there any that you connected to? Did you find the game was accessible for you to play as a disabled person? What do you wish you saw more of in the game or in games in general?
This month really is an important one for awareness and understanding, as well as finding things in ourselves to be proud of that don't fall into the categories of "inspiration porn" or the kinds of internalised ableism that can drive some of us to push too hard to work against our conditions instead of with and around them leading to more issues.
Remember - The Disabled Community is the one minority that anyone could become a part of at any time. Advocating for our rights could also be advocating for your own future or that of a loved one.
Small addition, even though he's not a companion: I'll never stop lauding this post about Doni and autism by @elceewunjo. In my recent replay, I was able to read his thoughts to learn about his sensory sensitivity and I felt so seen.
Thank you so much @burnt-by-marigolds for the tag 🩶 Always up to yap about music indeed :3
Tagging in turn @ranger-jahen, @litsenn, @spillingteanotpermitted and @missfortunetherogue (if you've done it already please drop me a link, I always want more music :3 or feel free to do it a second time xD)
Tried to 1)keep out my writing music out of this and 2)display the eclecticism of what I like ot listen to ^^ But three songs isn't a lot, to do that hahaha (I cheated anyway, and did albums instead if songs, cause that's just how I work, I listen to albums 🤭 unless a specific song scratches my brain the right way and I end up looping it)
Seelie - CLANN
Yes, technically I've already yapped about that one when I posted my drawing of Storm and Natavriel cuddling, because the lyrics I posted with it are from the last title of this album, "I Hold You". But I feel like CLANN is criminally underrated haha, so I had to yap again. I've been relistening to this album a lot lately (mostly because of Natavriel being on my mind 24/7 ^^, their signature song is also a CLANN song titled "Arise" lol), it's a timeless favourite of mine :3
I think their other album "Kin Fables" might be my favourite, but "Seelie" is the one I've been listening to lately.
If you're up for slightly weird and evocative faerie vibed music, this is it (I mean, the album is called Seelie, you know what you're in for)
A Frame of Mind - Kalandra
Another favourite of mine that I'm always listening to. It has never really left me since it came out 2 years ago and it turned a band that I just liked into one of my fav recent groups :3
This whole album is a story, one about healing from generational trauma and finding your place in the world, and I love it with all my heart :3
The Wow! Signal - Muse
Aha finally something a lot more people will know xDD Muse is my nostalgia group, having been with me throughout my teens, and being my first phsical music purchase when I was younger. And since they released their new album recently, I've been playing it almost daily haha
Not my favourtie of theirs, but I still like it a lot :3
It was so hard to choose from my "recently listened to" list xDD I realise that the amount of music I consume daily is pretty insane when doing games like this ^^ I could do this game at least three more times with things I've listened to over the past two weeks lmao
(Still working through tags after my many absences this year. I swear I'm not intentionally dissing anyone, I'm just a disorganized slowpoke. Pls don't stop tagging me <3)
Here's something from ages ago, like literally last year, by @onlytavs 🥰 Read about their character Data here! (Thank you and apologies for my tardiness!)
I'm so late everyone has probably done this already, but on the other hand it's been so long you might be up for another round? 😅 So, the gentlest of tags for @lutethebodies, @blackwelliath, @kcwriter-blog, @ignistigator and @ranger-jahen. Feel free to ignore or send a link to your old posts. Anyone else interested is of course very welcome to participate as well!
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⏱ ɃȺSƗȻS
Name: Esperani Starflower
Alias: Rani, The Starflower, Daoin Ath Tel' Vandor ("The Star in the Forest"), A'mael ("Beloved", by Gale), That Insufferable Self-righteous Tree-hugger (mostly by Astarion and Lae'zel, but I'm sure by many others as well)
Background: Folk hero
Gender: female
Sexuality: bisexual
Pronouns: she/her
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⏱ ØŦĦɆɌ
Family:
She grew up with her parents and sister - all of whom she's still close with, especially her sister Rhenna.
Growing up in a small rural village also means having a tight-knit community where everyone knows everyone and always looks out for one another - for better and for worse. While of course closest to her immediate relatives, Rani is familiar with almost everyone in the village and considers many of them family in one way or other.
There are also the wolf, Crow's Eye, and his family.
He's not a true ranger's companion as he doesn't follow Rani on her journeys - she is very protective of them all and prefers them to stay in their territory - but he considers her Pack and she tries to go see them whenever she is home.
Birthplace:
Wyckhollow, a small wood elf settlement and druid circle in south-western High Forest. Rani's sister, mother, and grandmother are all druids.
When she was around 10 the family moved to the larger village of Mullholm right on the outskirts of the Forest. It is a hybrid village with the northern part firmly inside the forest and consisting mostly of wood elves and wood elf buildings - while the southern part is outside the forest and has a population of mostly humans and dwarves.
Both places are dear to her, especially Wyckhollow. No matter how far away her journeys take her, she makes sure to return regularly to check in with both the people, the wolves, and the Forest itself.
Job:
For most of her life, she's lived off the land. Hunting, fishing, farming, trading with other villages etc.
It was sort of expected she'd follow in her mother and grandmother's footsteps and become a druid as well, but unfortunately, she's not much of a magician... Instead, her love for roaming the forest and natural ability to speak with animals (the one magical thing about her) led her to pursue the path of the ranger.
It wasn't until she left High Forest she got actual employment in the true sense of the word. For the past half-century she's been doing a lot of odd jobs and adventures. Usually as some kind of wilderness guide, hunter, or tracker, but not always. She stayed in Secomber for a few years working in a tavern (not fun) and even had a stint with a circus doing trick archery and trick riding (very fun!)
Phobias/Fears:
Quite claustrophobic.
Puts a lot of self-worth in being The One Who Fixes Things which leads to a lot of struggles with fear of not being enough. Like what if she can't fix this? If she can't save everyone? What good is a ranger if they get lost in the woods?
Hobbies:
Everything to with animals and their care and training.
Dancing, and anything that lets her move her body.
Reading, especially trashy romance novels (she used to sort of hide it from Gale in fear he'd mock her - and he absolutely did - but truth is he likes them too. It's a mutual guilty pleasure.)
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⏱ MØɌȺŁS
Alignment:
Neutral good, mostly
Flaws:
Prideful. Stubborn as a dwarf, and holds grudges like one... Can be overly reckless. Quite the saviour complex going on.
Virtues:
Incredibly brave. Loyal. Curious. Caring and protective by nature.
Good in a crisis (she saves the falling apart for after)
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In the early hours, Wyll tastes like apricity. His mouth is so warm it brings to mind the way the morning dew evaporates under the sun; there’s a faint and pleasant bitterness just past his lips, of herbal teas he’s made for himself to carry on the road. When he kisses, he’s hungry and happy. Maybe for breakfast or… for something else. ❤️
In the late hours, Wyll tastes of wine and campfire smoke. He’s sipping from a battered tin goblet and raising animated hands to tell his stories, the flames dancing in tune with his tales. He kisses slowly, deeply, and he’s content. His fondness for Ashaba Dusk lingers on the tip of his tongue, and it’s wonderful, and dizzying.
Happy disability pride month to everyone with ptsd, happy disability pride month to everyone with complex ptsd, happy disability pride month to everyone who questions if their problems are big enough to count as a disability, happy disability pride month to anyone who questions if their problems count as a physical or mental disability, happy pride month to everyone who has a disability that causes people to stare, and to those whose disabilities are hidden, happy disability pride month to everyone who deals with any kind of disability physical or mental, you’re all badass and I want you to remember that this month okay
Rating: Mature
Word count: 1,7K
Summary: Post game-events, Durge Ellith (Half-drow, bard/sorcerer, they/them) wakes up and something feels amiss..
CW: 🔞Suggestive - Adult only🔞 Nothing too explicit but still quite cheeky + body depictions - bodyswap.
Note: I was tagged by @wild-surge (Thank you!) for this prompt : "Your Tav/Durge and their LI have been body swapped for 24 hours! How do they deal with it? What problems/issues arise?"
And it turned into a whole little fic 😅
READ ON AO3
Ellith sprawled their body across the bed, limbs wrapped around the bedsheet. They were cold, which seemed strange for the summer season. But through the haze of sleep, they didn’t bother considering it, and they pulled the blanket over their shoulders. A disapproving grunt rose beside them. ‘That’s why we should have separate blankets’, the bard thought, eyes still closed. They rolled over, seeking their lover’s touch, only to find themself entangled in a cascade of silky hair.
“What the..”
When they opened their eyes, all they could see was an abundance of red curls imprisoning their face. Jerking away, Ellith instinctively kicked the creature laying on the bed where Astarion should have been resting. The blow was immediately followed by a sharp but melodious yelp.
The room was dark, windows covered with heavy fabrics to keep the sun from sipping in, but it didn’t take long for the half-drow’s eyes to adapt to the shadows. In fact, it took no time at all, quite surprisingly. And they could see better than ever. Every piece of furniture, every greasy mark on the ground, every fold on the blankets… even the stains left by their own fluids were perfectly distinct on the bedsheets. They could even smell it, smell the moist and lust from the moment of intimacy they had shared a few hours before.
Passing the initial surprise, the bard focused on the form one the bed, who was staring at them with stupor.
“Astarion?”
“Ellith?”
The two names resonated at the same time, perfectly in synch. And when they heard Astarion’s voice leaving their lips, Ellith pressed their hand against their mouth. As they did so, Ellith hurt their tongue with their own teeth, much sharper than usual.
The creature in front of them was a half-drow, tall but rather skinny, their naked form showing ribs and ridges where there should be flesh and fat. Their long red curls were spread on the mattress like an abstract painting, and their golden-violet eyes where shining in the darkness. Deep, healed scares were adorning their whole body and the tattoos on their face were wrinkled by a shocking expression.
It was a form they were used to seeing in mirrors. The perfect reflection of their sick flesh.
Given the way this Ellith was staring at them, agape, the real Ellith didn’t dare look down at the body they were inhabiting. All they could say that there was something wiggling between their thighs, and they could already picture what it was.
“Oh, no…” they whispered, swallowing painfully.
“You look amazing.” The other Ellith purred with their own signature purr, gawking at them shamelessly. “I mean... I look amazing.”
The bard rushed to the mirror standing in the corner of the room, only to see… nothing. Nothing at all.
All right.
“What did you expect, darling?” the other Ellith chuckled, lying back on the bed.
The bard was connecting the dots, but the initial shock wasn't receding.
"That kick was unnecessary though..." The other Ellith winced, massaging their thigh, but there was a hint of amusement and endearment in that voice. "How dare you damage that lovely body of yours?"
"I... didn't... What in the hells, Astarion?!"
He laughed.
How could they –- he… HE be so relaxed?
After a few more seconds of bewilderment, the bard finally accepted their fate and looked down at their own body: Flat chest, pale skin, muscular but thin… Ellith's eyes lingered on the penis, hanging there, free and… well, a little sticky.
“It’s all right sweetheart, you can play with it.” Ellith’s voice rose from the bed, much more amused than should be appropriate in such circumstances.
The bard hadn’t said a word, too afraid to hear Astarion’s voice in their mouth again. When they refocused on the other Ellith – that is, the real Astarion – he was gently cupping the tiny breasts of his new form, toying with every little curve.
“Hey…!” the bard scolded him, once more surprised by their new voice. “Don’t you dare arouse my body now!”
Startled, the real Astarion quickly ungrabbed himself – or themself – and grinned innocently at his clone. “Apologies, darling. You know how much I love them.”
“How can you take it so…. lightly?” the bard burst out, their voice reaching Astarion’s adorable high-pitch note. They forced themselves not to marvel at it.
He kept on grinning.
Ellith understood.
“Oh gods, Astarion… what have you done?”
His grin turned into a mischievous smirk, which allowed Ellith to realise how unsettling they looked when they were wearing the same expression.
“Honestly darling, I had no idea this would work.”
Ellith let out a deep sigh.
“Don’t worry, it’s only for 24 hours.”
“Ah!” the bard rolled their eyes. “And that should reassure me?!”
They walked towards the bed and sat down, rubbing their forehead. And that’s when the bard realised how famished they were. Not the same kind of hunger they could feel after days of self-inflicted starvation. No. It was deeper. As if something was gnawing at their bowels. Their tongue rolled over their fangs.
Astarion didn’t seem to have noticed anything, since he was playing lazily with the little bush on his crotch.
“Could you please leave my hairs alone?” The bard hissed.
Stilling his hands, Astarion crooked his head in their direction. “You’re hungry, aren’t you?”
Of course he could see it, if not feel it.
“YES! And mortified, and frustrated, and… why did you do this without telling me first?”
He reached out to wrap his arms around the bard inhabiting his body. It felt warm, but the smell of his flesh was more tantalising than it had ever been. Ellith was almost drooling.
So that’s how it felt? That’s what he had to learn to control? Somehow, it felt almost more intimidating than the Urge itself.
“I told you… I wasn’t sure it would work. And besides, it’s much more fun to watch you struggle through this.”
“You, bastard.”
He pressed a long, warm and wet kiss on their cheek. “You look so pretty.”
“I look just like you.”
“Precisely.”
The bard tried to repress a giggle but failed dramatically. They knew Astarion had been yearning to see his face again, it just felt weird to be the one wearing that face. Inappropriate, even.
The gentle pressure of those soft little breasts against their back wasn’t unpleasant though; warm and comforting. One slender arm sneaked around Ellith’s waist to rest on the tight belly. “A chance I had a good meal a few hours ago, or else you’d be positively starving, darling.”
“You mean this could be worse?”
He laughed loudly, barks dripping with sarcasm, and his fingers squeezed the flesh on their hipbone. “Oh, sweetheart… That’s only the basic condition.”
Oh.
Now Ellith understood better. Not only Astarion himself, but the other spawns too, back in the cells. They hadn’t really given them a second thought after watching them leave for the Underdark. Now they could clearly see the danger they represented.
“Don’t be mad, my love…” He whispered softly into their ear, his voice much more vulnerable than expected. “I just wanted to know how it felt to be… delivered from my own body.”
It made sense.
Perfect sense.
The bard relaxed, painfully aware of what it meant for Astarion to experience this: feeling alive, warm, unchained from hunger, in a body free from his past. How could they be mad at him?
Ellith looked at the clock. As usual they’d slept all day and it was already the end of the afternoon.
“Why don’t you go outside, Astarion?” They offered, their voice now soft and gentle. “And enjoy the sun before dusk?”
His eyes, golden bright and purple, shone and sparkled in the darkness of the room. “I… yes… Yes! I can do that.”
A large smile crawled on his lips as he jumped from the bed, the slender body he was inhabiting moving gracefully, which allowed Ellith to admire the lovely shape of their own curves. Their ass could have benefited more flesh, they thought, but there was something adorable in the flatness of their butt-cheeks.
Astarion rushed to the wardrobe to pick up something to wear, and of course, he chose that dress, the one he always wanted Ellith to wear. A gift from him, and his favourite one. It made the bard smile, and they too stood up to put on Astarion’s shirt. “I’ll stay here in the meantime. I'll have a bath or something.”
As he clasped the last button, he walked up to them and pressed another kiss on their cheek. “All right dear, I’ll be back in an hour or so…” He grinned, obviously excited by the sunlight waiting for him outside. “Don’t you get too cheeky with that body while I’m out… We don’t want it to be too exhausted when I’ll come back, do we?”
An impromptu giggle, which sounded weird through Astarion’s voice, escaped the bard’s throat. “Don’t worry, love, I’ll keep your body safe and sound, and I won’t venture too far in my… exploration. Not without you, at least.”
"I know, I trust you not to." He smiled, his hands resting on their cool torso. "And if you behave, I might let you experience a brief nibble, just enough to satiate that little craving of yours."
He winked, clearly even more excited by what would come after dusk, and Ellith felt their new member harden at the perspective of it. An uncommon blush painted their pale cheeks, and of course, Astarion didn’t miss any part of it.
“My eager little slut…” He purred with Ellith’s deepest, sultry voice. “Be patient, will you?”
Leaning against them, he kissed their lips – or his own – with a soft moan, tongue sneaking in as to have a little taste of himself. Their growing erection was almost painful now. He pulled away and stared lovingly at his own face.
“You’re not making it easier…” Ellith whispered as they perfectly mimicked his signature smirk, glancing down at what was standing proudly between their legs, half-hidden by the loose shirt. “But I’ll find my out of… this.”
The laughter that left his lips was endearing and melodious at the same time, and Ellith couldn’t help marveling at their own voice. “I’m sure you’ll know how to deal with it, darling.”
With an amused snort, Ellith squeezed his butt – theirs – and gave it a gentle spanking. “Now go, my love. And enjoy the sunlight while you can. I'll be here when you're ready. I'll always be here, my love.”
my friend dandy (reflectingstars on bluesky) made this VP of elenion for me a while back and i hadn't gotten around to posting it yet, but it looks fantastic so i'm glad to finally share it here now 💙
Let us see your moodboards! Your OC, your OC and their Love Interest, a theme, a song, a quote - anything!
Thank you for the tag @optimisticgrey @unovafarm @gortashsrighthand [I have to admit I feel a little bit self-conscious because you all made such beautiful moodboards while I'm terrible at this type of things and have no artistic skill 🫣Please don't judge me.]
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I made a modern AU fashion moodboard for Elenion because @pavusprince asked what his modern style would be and I was like... huh, that's a good question! I will ramble about all of these outfit choices below the cut. 💙
I've made several other fashion moodboards for Len before (here, here, and here) and none of them were intended to be for a modern AU—but I am not great at determining what's too modern for Faerûn and I also feel like there's a lot of overlap, at least in the style outfits I've chosen to give Elenion in-game (I will never dress him in the vanilla bard clothes. He wouldn't be caught dead in them). So I definitely put some things in those other boards that could work for a modern AU. But this is the first one where I purposely tried to choose a style for him that would be more specific to modern day. It was a little difficult since no matter what time period he lives in, he's still an obnoxiously fancy rich boy who quits being a pop/rock star to run a museum and never learns the meaning of the word "casual", so... here's all the unnecessary rambling:
I decided modern-day Len would wear lots of artsy button-ups that look like paintings in his day-to-day look. With several buttons undone and a layer of necklaces hanging over his chest, naturally. And when he wants to look a little more professional (and unfairly gorgeous, as usual) while meeting with museum donors, he could also button something like this up, tuck it into his pants, and maybe put a blazer on over it.
Len would "throw on" a lace-up shirt and a rose-print cardigan just for grocery shopping, or getting coffee, or sitting at home and reading beside Gale because their definition of casual is ridiculous. 💖 They will be the prettiest, most well-dressed person in every room whether they're performing in a sold-out arena or comparing pasta brands at Walmart.
This is for black tie galas, award ceremonies, museum fundraisers... any big formal event where a normal person would just wear a normal tuxedo, but Elenion Silverdew insists on showing up with the entire night sky on their jacket!
Len would have this and many other leather jackets and satin shirts as part of his everyday look. I wanted to fit a pair of ripped jeans somewhere in here too and couldn't, but I know in my heart he would wear them with this type of outfit.
This incredible outfit is Poster Boy by badwitch69, and I was going to link the mod but their patreon seems to be gone and I am so sad now... I'll update this later if the mod becomes available again (edit: they brought their patreon back! added a link to the mod!). But anyway, this feels modern enough to me that Elenion would still own it and look devastatingly hot in it.
This refined tailored blazer costs $10,000 in real life. Len definitely custom commissioned it, fell absolutely in love with the design, and then realized it perfectly matched the astronomy exhibits while giving museum tours. I hate him. (Gale loves it and thinks he looks gorgeous in it.)
In BG3's era, Elenion wears a ton of fancy brocade vests and embroidered tailcoats paired with cravats to work at the Starlit Gallery because he wants to look like he just stepped out of one of the paintings in his own art gallery. If he did that in the modern day he'd look like he got lost on the way to the renaissance faire. So his modern day work wardrobe includes a lot of elegant blazers in different colors and patterns! I think he would look so good in a velvet blazer + turtleneck combo but of course he could pair this one with nearly anything and look stunning.
& 9. These are both the kind of sexy kpop idol outfits that I know would look soooo good on him because modern day Elenion definitely dresses like this on stage all the time. 💖 I made a pinterest board of modern AU outfits and ended up with so many of this type of stagewear I could've made a moodboard just out of it. He performs in these and the internet never shuts up about it. He performs in front of Gale in these and Gale writes a dozen poems about his husband's perfect legs and waist.
I made it!!! 😁 The happy AU fic to conclude Pride month (and hopefully this will only be the first of many :3) is here on time ^^ Unbelievable.
Thank you @worfs-glorious-hair for the event :3
Rating: Gen
Relationships: Tav & Durge, Tav & Astarion, Durge/Astarion, general QPR vibes <3
Word count: 3K
CW: None? At least I don't think xD
Summary: Five months after the battle that saved Baldur's Gate, Natavriel finds themself pondering just how different their life feels now, with Astarion and Storm at their side.
AO3 link or read below the cut
It was well past midnight when Storm stepped out of the room he usually shared with Astarion in Tav's little house, where he'd been attempting to sleep off a bad headache. Shirtless, of course, as he always was at night, even in the dead of winter. How was it that he was never cold, Tav couldn't understand.
Storm hopped onto the slightly raised platform that housed the reading nook, where Tav had been lounging on a comfortable pile of cushions, reading. They set their book aside, watching him kneel at their side before welcoming him when he lay down and snuggled half on top of them, sinking into the cushions.
"Couldn't sleep," he mumbled, shifting so that his head rested on their sternum, nuzzling the soft fabric of their waist scarf. "I'm not crushing you?"
"Not at all."
Even if he had been, they couldn't possibly have found the will to push him away. His thumb tested the different fabrics of their clothes, tickling their ribs, and he settled on the same spot he'd nuzzled moments before, rubbing tiny circles to feel the weaving of thread.
"Is your headache any better?"
His wordless shrug indicated that probably not much, if at all. The headaches were few and far between, now, but painkillers seemed to have dulled in efficacy.
"I wonder if we could try to find someone that can help you with that," said Tav, winding their fingers in his hair carefully so that none of their rings would catch on the silky dark strands. "Halsin did what he could, that does not mean nothing else would work."
A contented sigh came from him when their fingers softly traced the hairline behind his ear. "It's already much better than it used to be. I'm willing to live with how it is now, it's alright."
Those words always had the effect of a warming balm to Tav's heart. I'm willing to live. I'm willing to live. And maybe the context of the words should have made their impact lesser, it was simply a turn of phrase after all. But it didn't. Storm was willing to live. There were many bad days, of course —there likely always would be. But today, Storm was willing to live. Tav breathed through the peace that settled in them, one hand still playing with Storm's hair, the other tracing thoughtless patterns on his bare shoulders.
Five months had passed since the city had been saved, and Natavriel, too, was finally starting to feel like themself again. Without the weight of the tadpole, or the crumbling of their state of mind that had followed the aftermath of its disappearance.
And that disappearance had been a relief, certainly. But their mind was a fragile thing, and the sudden departure of the adrenaline that had kept them going for the past few months had been a hard thing to contend with, and apathy had followed as it usually did.
They took in the sight of their apartment, bathed in the soft warm glow of the fire they'd started going shortly before settling to read. They'd often hated this house, before. It had rarely felt like theirs —just an empty shelter that they had decided would be temporary, until the Court would feel hags were no longer worth surveilling and Tav would be allowed to return to Waterdeep. Where friends and family waited for them.
Here and now, though, Storm nestled in their arms and with the knowledge that Astarion would soon come back from his night, there was nowhere else they would have rather be.
In the past five months, Storm had insisted they replace all the plants that had died, had been at their side when they found two starving kittens, had built a small wooden tree to make sure those same kittens would play there and not destroy their furniture, and had helped them put order in the mess of their bedroom whenever it all became too much for them to manage alone. Astarion had then decided the house decor was decidedly too drab to live in, and had started adding as much colour as he could by way of vibrant fabrics for new cushions, curtains or couch covers, as well as various paintings dubiously acquired that had started stacking in the room he shared with Storm for lack of space on the walls. And little by little, just as joy slowly returned and found a place in their mind, warmth and safety had found its way in this house.
Because surely, if these men put so much effort into making this house beautiful, that meant they intended to stay. And that, in turn, made Tav want to stay.
Their hand moved to trace the ridges of Storm's shoulder blade, then those of his spine, and he shivered.
"Tickles."
"Sorry. My hands aren't too cold?"
"S'alright. Astarion has colder hands than you." He propped himself lightly on one elbow, glancing at the emptiness of the living room with sleepy eyes. "He's not here?"
"He went hunting in the Upper City not long after you went to bed."
"Oh," he whispered, falling back into the cuddle.
Both of them knew what that meant. Astarion had begun tracking down every patriar who had knowingly participated in Cazador's little masquerade of nobility, lately. One by one, heads had started to fall.
"I'm always scared he'll get caught when he does that."
"Yes, I think that's why he didn't warn you this time."
"Oh but he tells you, because you worry so much less than me," Storm chuckled. He craned his neck to kiss their wrist as they trailed the little bumps on his shoulders to ease the tension that had formed there. "Makes complete sense."
They laughed softly at his teasing. "Maybe it's only that this was a last minute decision and he thought you were asleep."
"Yes, now, that sounds more like him."
One of his hands slid up in their hair to trace the line of earrings adorning the shell of their ear one by one, until he landed on the long one dangling from their lobe. With a satisfied little hum, he rolled the thin chain securing the amber pendant back and forth between his fingers, the motions tickling their neck.
Little by little, the weight of his body on theirs relaxed. His tail lazily flicked on the ground ever now and then, sure sign that he was entirely at ease.
It was a shame, Tav thought mischievously, that the kittens were currently both sleeping in their room. Chasing around Storm's tail would have offered plenty of entertainment, be it for the cats or for Tav. Because he was right. They did worry about Astarion just as much as Storm did, whenever the desire for revenge prompted him to hunt in the city —hence why they were not in bed, irreverently ignoring their usual schedule to wait for his return. Maybe it would indeed be worth calling the cats over.
"Natavriel…"
"Mh?"
No answer came but the deepening of his breath, and the progressive slowing down of his fingers' motions in their hair. Storm, as it turned out, could sleep just fine.
And so the cats —just like Tav— would have to wait at least a few more hours before playtime.
When Astarion came back from his hunt a few hours later, it drew Tav out of a trance they hadn't intended to fall into. The little chime that anchored Siovi's protective enchantment over this house rang softly, and their full awareness returned to them as Astarion crouched by their side in his full leathers, looking at Storm sleeping in their embrace.
"Hey," they greeted him.
His eyes gleamed in the darkness —the glow of the fire had considerably diminished, plunging the entire living space of Tav's house into dimness.
"Can you believe he stays asleep, now? Four months ago he would have been awake before I even touched the door."
They tried to shift, but most of Storm's weight was firmly set on one of their thigh, and the attempt only served to intensify the tingling numbness they could now feel in their right foot.
"That's probably because of the tea I gave him before you left," they said in a low voice, giving up without much resistance the idea of ever moving again. "For pain, and for the dreams."
"Oh. That's right, you did do that."
He blinked a few times, not breathing.
"How did it go?" Tav ventured carefully.
His gaze flitted between Storm's sleeping figure and their face, back and forth, for a few moments. He extended one gloved hand, fingertips hovering inches away from Storm's cheek. Then shook his head subtly and sighed.
"I'll… go take a bath," he simply said.
A bad one, then. The killing unearthing unpleasant memories more than it offered satisfaction, not doubt. Astarion's eyes had that distant look they always had whenever he was struggling not to be swallowed by the past, unable to receive a touch that might have been grounding to others, but was only triggering for him.
"I could prepare it for you, if you'd like," they offered.
"You know, that would actually be really nice."
They smiled at him before brushing their fingers to Storm's forehead. "Love."
A sleepy groan answered them, but Storm didn't stir.
"Storm," they called again.
"What," he sighed, clearly still half asleep.
"Hello, lover," Astarion said, an amused smirk teasing his lips in spite of all.
His voice shook Storm awake instantly, and the tiefling hastily scrambled to his knees, freeing Tav's leg. Their subsequent attempt to stretch some feeling back into their toes only served to widen Astarion's crooked smile. Until Storm winced in pain from the sudden motions, that was.
"Ow." He braced himself with one hand on the floor, the heel of his other palm pressed above one eyebrow. Still, he squinted at Astarion, relief and concern mingling in his eyes.
"Are you alright?"
"I am unharmed. And I was not seen."
Storm closed his eyes with a small sigh, and only Tav witnessed Astarion wrestling between the desire to reach out, and the fear of what it would mean to accept Storm's touch in a moment where all the thoughts plaguing his mind were bad.
"Sit with me, a while?" he asked instead.
"Of course." One glowing blue eye cracked open. "Though, if you don't mind, it will be 'lie down next to you', because there is no way I am staying upright if I don't have to."
That did get a chuckle out of Astarion. "That sounds perfect to me, my love."
As Tav stepped away to start preparing the bath, Storm lay back on the cushions they'd just left, Astarion settling quietly at his side, cross-legged. And Storm did what Tav themself sometimes struggled to do; he provided the silent space needed for Astarion to simply be.
For a little while, no other sound filled the house but that of Tav pouring water in the linen covered wooden tub near the fireplace.
One of Siovi's first gifts when Tav had left the Feywild had been a beautifully engraved golden jug, invaluable not because of its precious material, but by virtue of the enchantment it held —fresh water from the numerous sources of Siovi's domain always flowed from it. Thus Tav never found themself in want of water, and what might have been a luxury for many became accessible easily. The running water would have been harmful to Astarion while it was flowing, of course, but as long as it could sit in the tub for a little while it ceased to be a danger.
Warming the bath was another matter entirely, and it took several batches of heating water on the iron-cast stove that served as the house's fireplace before the temperature was adequate. Tav then went to retrieve oils —lavender had become Astarion's favourite very fast—, and soaps —simple fragrance that would not clash either with the lavender or with the perfumes he favoured—, unfolded the privacy screens, placed fresh clothes and towels by the side of the bath, and made sure the fire would not be running out of wood to burn while Astarion bathed.
Every now and then as they worked, they stole glances in the direction of the reading nook, unable to help themself.
Astarion had removed his gloves and had threaded one hand in Storm's hair, that was a good sign. And no doubt Storm enjoyed the cold, that always helped with headaches. A few moments later some murmurs came, and they caught sight of Storm helping Astarion undo the buckles of his chest leather piece with one hand, still lying down, and a tender kind of warmth spread in their chest at the witnessing of such casual intimacy.
When Tav finally joined the two men, it was to find Astarion laying down on his side, his forehead pressed against Storm's bare shoulder. Not resting yet, though, and he acknowledged their presence with a little smile.
"Bath's ready when you want," they informed him.
"Thank you."
He sat up and Storm stirred lightly, clearly not asleep either. Astarion's armour now lay discarded in the opposite corner of the reading nook, and he threw one glance at it.
"I'll take care of it," said Tav. Then had to stifle a yawn. "Tomorrow," they amended.
"But you hate it when I leave my mess everywhere."
They shrugged at him as Storm suppressed a chuckle. "Today I don't mind."
"Be careful. I might take advantage of that."
"Yes, I know you will," they sighed with a very dramatic fatalism that had no other purpose than making him laugh. And it did work, so as far as Tav was concerned, the theatrics were worth it.
His gaze lingered on Storm for a bit, and whatever internal battle took place in his mind resulted in him bending over to place a single small kiss on the corner of Storm's mouth.
"You can go sleep." He stood up, already stepping towards the bath that was waiting for him. "I'll join you when I'm done."
"Mh. Alright," Storm mumbled, prising one eye open. "Where would you like to rest?"
Astarion stopped in his track and ran a hand into his hair as he pondered that, shifting his weight where he stood. Clearly that was not a question he had expected.
"Tav's bed?" he said hesitantly. "If that's alright?"
That had happened more than a few times, already, the three of them resting in Tav's bedroom. But it might have been the first time Astarion himself expressly asked for it.
Storm only nodded in answer, and closed his eye again.
"Of course," said Tav at the same time.
The 'no-sex-in-this-bed-even-if-Tav's-not-in-it' rule they'd established early on when Storm had kept spending half of his nights with Tav and Astarion ended up joining them had been for Tav, initially. But they wondered now if it didn't also offer some assurance of safety for Astarion. Not that Storm would ever push him, and they all knew that, but on a day like today, the added spoken rule might ease his mind anyway. A clear signal that he was not open to that kind of intimacy, without ever having to voice a refusal.
There might have been a tad too much unconcealed understanding in their eyes though, because Astarion's quiet musing rapidly shifted to an annoyed sort of self-consciousness.
"Just keep the cuddles confined to your side of the bed when I get there, will you?" he said sharply with an aloofness that did not quite conceal his discomfort.
"Whatever you want, darling," came Storm's sleepy voice at their back, rendered entirely oblivious to Astarion's dilemma by his hazy state of semi consciousness. "I love you."
Astarion's sourness melted as fast as it came, and he threw Tav a look of fond exasperation, presumably at his inability to resist Storm's sweetness. To which they shrugged playfully, and that only made him roll his eyes.
"Get this man to bed," he said, finally heading towards the bath. "Please. Before I permanently forget what anger feels like."
Tav snorted softly, before diligently prodding Storm in the direction of their room.
The cats begrudgingly accepted to surrender the bed to them once Tav had changed into looser night clothes. Smoke immediately settled back on it, curling on top of Storm's chest. Light grey fur on dark grey skin. Mirror acted as if joining was a chore, but he purred all the same once comfortably nestled in Tav's arms.
Until Astarion finally came to bed, and the little black and white menace started hissing at him.
"Yes, yes, I know," Astarion sighed, sitting on the bed. "If you're not happy you can leave."
Smoke walked all over Tav to go nestle comfortably near Astarion's shoulder when he lay down, and Mirror indeed fled the bed to relocate in a spot of the room where he was not in direct view of the vampire.
But there was no way Tav would ever lament the loss of the cat's warmth —Mirror's dislike was mostly for show, anyway—, not when Storm shifted at their back and his warmth enveloped them instead, not when Astarion smiled so sweetly next to them when one single dark finger tangled with his own, and certainly not when they could hear the tiefling's tail flicking happily against the side of the bed.
"Oh, it's happy rhythm time," Astarion chuckled quietly. "The 'I am with Astarion and Natavriel' happy rhythm, no less."
The quiet thumps of Storm's tail halted, and Astarion's protest came within seconds.
"Don't stop!"
"What you just said is the equivalent of telling someone 'oh you're blinking really fast when you're happy' and then expecting them to keep blinking very fast. I can't not stop now that I'm thinking about it."
"Don't fight," Tav teased, even though Storm grumbling might have been the cutest thing they'd ever heard. "Or I'll go rest somewhere else."
"No, I'm quiet," said Storm, holding them tighter. "I'm quiet."
Astarion smirked as he played with Storm's index ring, but also stayed silent. And before long, the rhythmic tapping of Storm's tail started again. Tav joined their hand with his, intertwining one finger with Astarion's in the same way Storm had, and for the second time that night, they thought there was nowhere they would rather be than here.
Because that house they had so often despised indeed felt more than a simple roof over their head, now. For the first time in thirty years, this house had finally become a home.
