Heya, I'm Elcee π€ early 30's, queer and ND, going by they/them pronouns. Welcome!
Writer, TTRPG enthusiast, music lover, and occasional psychology nerd (not trained, it's just a big interest of mine). And I do art sometimes. When the muse strikes.
Mostly posting and reblogging bg3, OC content, and writing things, and it's likely going to be like that for a while since I'm currently in the middle of writing my longfic for bg3, but you can consider this place to be a multi interest platform for all the aforementioned hobbies.
[Their masterpost is here]
Natavriel (Tav, they/them) and Storm (DU, he/him) exist in the same timeline. Storm is a forsaken Durge, having lost his duel to Orin (at least in the main timeline I write about, but I occasionally delve into a happy ending for them too). My longfic dealing with the consequences of that for Tav and Astarion is post canon, but I do write one shots during the events of the game too, and those are a tiny bit less tragic.
If there's only ONE post to read about them it's the one about the companions relationships with them, here :3
Common tags : #elcee posts | #elcee writes | #elcee draws
All my posts without the reblogs, for quick browsing
More navigation links under the cut
(bg3 exclusive for now but who knows what the future may bring)
[AO3 link]
The battle is won, the Netherbrain defeated, and Astarion is free. But as he returns to the shadows, someone fails to follow him βhis lover, child of Bhaal, condemned to madness by his own father. For weakness, for disobedience, it matters not, Storm is lost. Astarion navigates his grief with the help of Tav, and fights for closure as they both try to find where the balance of their friendship lies, now that Storm is gone.
In progress : 19/30. Updating... when I can.
Longfic Interview is here
The context of how this happened in my head can be found here
General tag | WIP tag
Snippets of my Dark Urge's tadpole journey alongside Natavriel, of their platonic bond, of his friendships with the tadfools, and of his romance with Astarion
POV varies between Storm and Tav
Home (some backstory, lots of angst)
[AO3][Tumblr]
Violent Delights, Violent Ends (durge backstory, tragedy, mind the tags)
[AO3]
A Name is a Powerful Thing (angst, some minor comfort in the form of Tav being here, mind the tags. One of my fav piece of writing ever.)
[AO3][Tumblr]
Conflicts Of The Mind (act I angst, hurt/comfort, mental health exploration)
[AO3] In progress : 3/4
His fangs mean Death (character study for my Durge, mild smut)
[AO3]
(mostly, those are the chapters of the previous fic diving into Astarion's memory of the tadpole journey, and they more or less all work as standalone if that's all you have the space for)
The simple plan (angst and comfort, durgestarion/bloodspark)
Kindness is a hateful thing (hurt/comfort, durgestarion/bloodspark)
[AO3][Tumblr]
You will feel my hunger (hurt no comfort, durgestarion/bloodspark)
[AO3][Tumblr]
Here Comes the Sun Again (fluffy angst? is that a thing?, Tav & Astarion)
[AO3][Tumblr]
Stay (angst)
This one is about Nocturne and Shadowheart! Also unedited because it was for a flash fiction prompt and I rarely go back on those
Only on Tumblr (if I edit it it might make it to AO3 one day)
First Snow (fluff, Shadowheart x Halsin x Karlach)
[AO3][Tumblr]
Astarion and gratitude
Astarion and Drizzt
Astarion's resilience
Astarion thinks deus ex machinas are very twee
Why Astarion's character resonnated with me (answerring an ask)
Shar, Shadowheart, and grief
My favourite BG3 NPC (it's Doni, if you don't know who that is go read the post and I might forgive you /j)
Karlach/Shadowheart/Halsin headcanon
Karlach/Shadowheart/Halsin relationship post game
The Natavriel/Storm/Astarion situation
My Gale'zel version
The Mucha series
(almost complete with the Origin companions, I'm only missing Karalch :3)
Hugs (Astarion x Storm & Natavriel)
A Night of Peace (also Astarion x Storm & Natavriel)
Kitten Agression (still Astarion x Storm & Natavriel but happy)
Most of those are written in one go, and unedited, so they have various degrees of quality haha
I do those mostly as a way to practice, and also because I like to procrastinate when I'm at work
(yes, those have all been written on company time... Does that mean I'm a paid writer??)
Gravity [Read on Tumblr][AO3]
This one is dark. CW : depression, suicide (though not super explicit)
Chrysalis [Read on Tumblr]
WoD:Changeling themed if you squint
There is power in a name [Read on Tumblr]
Also about faes, if the fae in question is a child snatcher
Night Killer [Read on Tumblr]
This one is an experiment with some worldbuilding I had done a long time ago and I wanted to bring back. I had a lot of fun writing it but I'm not sure how readable it is.
You blood is mercy [Read on Tumblr]
This one is also dark. CW : child's death (more or less)
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I made a modern AU fashion moodboard for Elenion because @pavusprince asked what his modern style would be and I was like... huh, that's a good question! I will ramble about all of these outfit choices below the cut. π
I've made several other fashion moodboards for Len before (here, here, and here) and none of them were intended to be for a modern AUβbut I am not great at determining what's too modern for FaerΓ»n and I also feel like there's a lot of overlap, at least in the style outfits I've chosen to give Elenion in-game (I will never dress him in the vanilla bard clothes. He wouldn't be caught dead in them). So I definitely put some things in those other boards that could work for a modern AU. But this is the first one where I purposely tried to choose a style for him that would be more specific to modern day. It was a little difficult since no matter what time period he lives in, he's still an obnoxiously fancy rich boy who quits being a pop/rock star to run a museum and never learns the meaning of the word "casual", so... here's all the unnecessary rambling:
I decided modern-day Len would wear lots of artsy button-ups that look like paintings in his day-to-day look. With several buttons undone and a layer of necklaces hanging over his chest, naturally. And when he wants to look a little more professional (and unfairly gorgeous, as usual) while meeting with museum donors, he could also button something like this up, tuck it into his pants, and maybe put a blazer on over it.
Len would "throw on" a lace-up shirt and a rose-print cardigan just for grocery shopping, or getting coffee, or sitting at home and reading beside Gale because their definition of casual is ridiculous. π They will be the prettiest, most well-dressed person in every room whether they're performing in a sold-out arena or comparing pasta brands at Walmart.
This is for black tie galas, award ceremonies, museum fundraisers... any big formal event where a normal person would just wear a normal tuxedo, but Elenion Silverdew insists on showing up with the entire night sky on their jacket!
Len would have this and many other leather jackets and satin shirts as part of his everyday look. I wanted to fit a pair of ripped jeans somewhere in here too and couldn't, but I know in my heart he would wear them with this type of outfit.
This incredible outfit is Poster Boy by badwitch69, and I was going to link the mod but their patreon seems to be gone and I am so sad now... I'll update this later if the mod becomes available again (edit: they brought their patreon back! added a link to the mod!). But anyway, this feels modern enough to me that Elenion would still own it and look devastatingly hot in it.
This refined tailored blazer costs $10,000 in real life. Len definitely custom commissioned it, fell absolutely in love with the design, and then realized it perfectly matched the astronomy exhibits while giving museum tours. I hate him. (Gale loves it and thinks he looks gorgeous in it.)
In BG3's era, Elenion wears a ton of fancy brocade vests and embroidered tailcoats paired with cravats to work at the Starlit Gallery because he wants to look like he just stepped out of one of the paintings in his own art gallery. If he did that in the modern day he'd look like he got lost on the way to the renaissance faire. So his modern day work wardrobe includes a lot of elegant blazers in different colors and patterns! I think he would look so good in a velvet blazer + turtleneck combo but of course he could pair this one with nearly anything and look stunning.
& 9. These are both the kind of sexy kpop idol outfits that I know would look soooo good on him because modern day Elenion definitely dresses like this on stage all the time. π I made a pinterest board of modern AU outfits and ended up with so many of this type of stagewear I could've made a moodboard just out of it. He performs in these and the internet never shuts up about it. He performs in front of Gale in these and Gale writes a dozen poems about his husband's perfect legs and waist.
I made it!!! π The happy AU fic to conclude Pride month (and hopefully this will only be the first of many :3) is here on time ^^ Unbelievable.
Thank you @worfs-glorious-hair for the event :3
Rating: Gen
Relationships: Tav & Durge, Tav & Astarion, Durge/Astarion, general QPR vibes <3
Word count: 3K
CW: None? At least I don't think xD
Summary: Five months after the battle that saved Baldur's Gate, Natavriel finds themself pondering just how different their life feels now, with Astarion and Storm at their side.
AO3 link or read below the cut
It was well past midnight when Storm stepped out of the room he usually shared with Astarion in Tav's little house, where he'd been attempting to sleep off a bad headache. Shirtless, of course, as he always was at night, even in the dead of winter. How was it that he was never cold, Tav couldn't understand.
Storm hopped onto the slightly raised platform that housed the reading nook, where Tav had been lounging on a comfortable pile of cushions, reading. They set their book aside, watching him kneel at their side before welcoming him when he lay down and snuggled half on top of them, sinking into the cushions.
"Couldn't sleep," he mumbled, shifting so that his head rested on their sternum, nuzzling the soft fabric of their waist scarf. "I'm not crushing you?"
"Not at all."
Even if he had been, they couldn't possibly have found the will to push him away. His thumb tested the different fabrics of their clothes, tickling their ribs, and he settled on the same spot he'd nuzzled moments before, rubbing tiny circles to feel the weaving of thread.
"Is your headache any better?"
His wordless shrug indicated that probably not much, if at all. The headaches were few and far between, now, but painkillers seemed to have dulled in efficacy.
"I wonder if we could try to find someone that can help you with that," said Tav, winding their fingers in his hair carefully so that none of their rings would catch on the silky dark strands. "Halsin did what he could, that does not mean nothing else would work."
A contented sigh came from him when their fingers softly traced the hairline behind his ear. "It's already much better than it used to be. I'm willing to live with how it is now, it's alright."
Those words always had the effect of a warming balm to Tav's heart. I'm willing to live. I'm willing to live. And maybe the context of the words should have made their impact lesser, it was simply a turn of phrase after all. But it didn't. Storm was willing to live. There were many bad days, of course βthere likely always would be. But today, Storm was willing to live. Tav breathed through the peace that settled in them, one hand still playing with Storm's hair, the other tracing thoughtless patterns on his bare shoulders.
Five months had passed since the city had been saved, and Natavriel, too, was finally starting to feel like themself again. Without the weight of the tadpole, or the crumbling of their state of mind that had followed the aftermath of its disappearance.
And that disappearance had been a relief, certainly. But their mind was a fragile thing, and the sudden departure of the adrenaline that had kept them going for the past few months had been a hard thing to contend with, and apathy had followed as it usually did.
They took in the sight of their apartment, bathed in the soft warm glow of the fire they'd started going shortly before settling to read. They'd often hated this house, before. It had rarely felt like theirs βjust an empty shelter that they had decided would be temporary, until the Court would feel hags were no longer worth surveilling and Tav would be allowed to return to Waterdeep. Where friends and family waited for them.
Here and now, though, Storm nestled in their arms and with the knowledge that Astarion would soon come back from his night, there was nowhere else they would have rather be.
In the past five months, Storm had insisted they replace all the plants that had died, had been at their side when they found two starving kittens, had built a small wooden tree to make sure those same kittens would play there and not destroy their furniture, and had helped them put order in the mess of their bedroom whenever it all became too much for them to manage alone. Astarion had then decided the house decor was decidedly too drab to live in, and had started adding as much colour as he could by way of vibrant fabrics for new cushions, curtains or couch covers, as well as various paintings dubiously acquired that had started stacking in the room he shared with Storm for lack of space on the walls. And little by little, just as joy slowly returned and found a place in their mind, warmth and safety had found its way in this house.
Because surely, if these men put so much effort into making this house beautiful, that meant they intended to stay. And that, in turn, made Tav want to stay.
Their hand moved to trace the ridges of Storm's shoulder blade, then those of his spine, and he shivered.
"Tickles."
"Sorry. My hands aren't too cold?"
"S'alright. Astarion has colder hands than you." He propped himself lightly on one elbow, glancing at the emptiness of the living room with sleepy eyes. "He's not here?"
"He went hunting in the Upper City not long after you went to bed."
"Oh," he whispered, falling back into the cuddle.
Both of them knew what that meant. Astarion had begun tracking down every patriar who had knowingly participated in Cazador's little masquerade of nobility, lately. One by one, heads had started to fall.
"I'm always scared he'll get caught when he does that."
"Yes, I think that's why he didn't warn you this time."
"Oh but he tells you, because you worry so much less than me," Storm chuckled. He craned his neck to kiss their wrist as they trailed the little bumps on his shoulders to ease the tension that had formed there. "Makes complete sense."
They laughed softly at his teasing. "Maybe it's only that this was a last minute decision and he thought you were asleep."
"Yes, now, that sounds more like him."
One of his hands slid up in their hair to trace the line of earrings adorning the shell of their ear one by one, until he landed on the long one dangling from their lobe. With a satisfied little hum, he rolled the thin chain securing the amber pendant back and forth between his fingers, the motions tickling their neck.
Little by little, the weight of his body on theirs relaxed. His tail lazily flicked on the ground ever now and then, sure sign that he was entirely at ease.
It was a shame, Tav thought mischievously, that the kittens were currently both sleeping in their room. Chasing around Storm's tail would have offered plenty of entertainment, be it for the cats or for Tav. Because he was right. They did worry about Astarion just as much as Storm did, whenever the desire for revenge prompted him to hunt in the city βhence why they were not in bed, irreverently ignoring their usual schedule to wait for his return. Maybe it would indeed be worth calling the cats over.
"Natavrielβ¦"
"Mh?"
No answer came but the deepening of his breath, and the progressive slowing down of his fingers' motions in their hair. Storm, as it turned out, could sleep just fine.
And so the cats βjust like Tavβ would have to wait at least a few more hours before playtime.
When Astarion came back from his hunt a few hours later, it drew Tav out of a trance they hadn't intended to fall into. The little chime that anchored Siovi's protective enchantment over this house rang softly, and their full awareness returned to them as Astarion crouched by their side in his full leathers, looking at Storm sleeping in their embrace.
"Hey," they greeted him.
His eyes gleamed in the darkness βthe glow of the fire had considerably diminished, plunging the entire living space of Tav's house into dimness.
"Can you believe he stays asleep, now? Four months ago he would have been awake before I even touched the door."
They tried to shift, but most of Storm's weight was firmly set on one of their thigh, and the attempt only served to intensify the tingling numbness they could now feel in their right foot.
"That's probably because of the tea I gave him before you left," they said in a low voice, giving up without much resistance the idea of ever moving again. "For pain, and for the dreams."
"Oh. That's right, you did do that."
He blinked a few times, not breathing.
"How did it go?" Tav ventured carefully.
His gaze flitted between Storm's sleeping figure and their face, back and forth, for a few moments. He extended one gloved hand, fingertips hovering inches away from Storm's cheek. Then shook his head subtly and sighed.
"I'll⦠go take a bath," he simply said.
A bad one, then. The killing unearthing unpleasant memories more than it offered satisfaction, not doubt. Astarion's eyes had that distant look they always had whenever he was struggling not to be swallowed by the past, unable to receive a touch that might have been grounding to others, but was only triggering for him.
"I could prepare it for you, if you'd like," they offered.
"You know, that would actually be really nice."
They smiled at him before brushing their fingers to Storm's forehead. "Love."
A sleepy groan answered them, but Storm didn't stir.
"Storm," they called again.
"What," he sighed, clearly still half asleep.
"Hello, lover," Astarion said, an amused smirk teasing his lips in spite of all.
His voice shook Storm awake instantly, and the tiefling hastily scrambled to his knees, freeing Tav's leg. Their subsequent attempt to stretch some feeling back into their toes only served to widen Astarion's crooked smile. Until Storm winced in pain from the sudden motions, that was.
"Ow." He braced himself with one hand on the floor, the heel of his other palm pressed above one eyebrow. Still, he squinted at Astarion, relief and concern mingling in his eyes.
"Are you alright?"
"I am unharmed. And I was not seen."
Storm closed his eyes with a small sigh, and only Tav witnessed Astarion wrestling between the desire to reach out, and the fear of what it would mean to accept Storm's touch in a moment where all the thoughts plaguing his mind were bad.
"Sit with me, a while?" he asked instead.
"Of course." One glowing blue eye cracked open. "Though, if you don't mind, it will be 'lie down next to you', because there is no way I am staying upright if I don't have to."
That did get a chuckle out of Astarion. "That sounds perfect to me, my love."
As Tav stepped away to start preparing the bath, Storm lay back on the cushions they'd just left, Astarion settling quietly at his side, cross-legged. And Storm did what Tav themself sometimes struggled to do; he provided the silent space needed for Astarion to simply be.
For a little while, no other sound filled the house but that of Tav pouring water in the linen covered wooden tub near the fireplace.
One of Siovi's first gifts when Tav had left the Feywild had been a beautifully engraved golden jug, invaluable not because of its precious material, but by virtue of the enchantment it held βfresh water from the numerous sources of Siovi's domain always flowed from it. Thus Tav never found themself in want of water, and what might have been a luxury for many became accessible easily. The running water would have been harmful to Astarion while it was flowing, of course, but as long as it could sit in the tub for a little while it ceased to be a danger.
Warming the bath was another matter entirely, and it took several batches of heating water on the iron-cast stove that served as the house's fireplace before the temperature was adequate. Tav then went to retrieve oils βlavender had become Astarion's favourite very fastβ, and soaps βsimple fragrance that would not clash either with the lavender or with the perfumes he favouredβ, unfolded the privacy screens, placed fresh clothes and towels by the side of the bath, and made sure the fire would not be running out of wood to burn while Astarion bathed.
Every now and then as they worked, they stole glances in the direction of the reading nook, unable to help themself.
Astarion had removed his gloves and had threaded one hand in Storm's hair, that was a good sign. And no doubt Storm enjoyed the cold, that always helped with headaches. A few moments later some murmurs came, and they caught sight of Storm helping Astarion undo the buckles of his chest leather piece with one hand, still lying down, and a tender kind of warmth spread in their chest at the witnessing of such casual intimacy.
When Tav finally joined the two men, it was to find Astarion laying down on his side, his forehead pressed against Storm's bare shoulder. Not resting yet, though, and he acknowledged their presence with a little smile.
"Bath's ready when you want," they informed him.
"Thank you."
He sat up and Storm stirred lightly, clearly not asleep either. Astarion's armour now lay discarded in the opposite corner of the reading nook, and he threw one glance at it.
"I'll take care of it," said Tav. Then had to stifle a yawn. "Tomorrow," they amended.
"But you hate it when I leave my mess everywhere."
They shrugged at him as Storm suppressed a chuckle. "Today I don't mind."
"Be careful. I might take advantage of that."
"Yes, I know you will," they sighed with a very dramatic fatalism that had no other purpose than making him laugh. And it did work, so as far as Tav was concerned, the theatrics were worth it.
His gaze lingered on Storm for a bit, and whatever internal battle took place in his mind resulted in him bending over to place a single small kiss on the corner of Storm's mouth.
"You can go sleep." He stood up, already stepping towards the bath that was waiting for him. "I'll join you when I'm done."
"Mh. Alright," Storm mumbled, prising one eye open. "Where would you like to rest?"
Astarion stopped in his track and ran a hand into his hair as he pondered that, shifting his weight where he stood. Clearly that was not a question he had expected.
"Tav's bed?" he said hesitantly. "If that's alright?"
That had happened more than a few times, already, the three of them resting in Tav's bedroom. But it might have been the first time Astarion himself expressly asked for it.
Storm only nodded in answer, and closed his eye again.
"Of course," said Tav at the same time.
The 'no-sex-in-this-bed-even-if-Tav's-not-in-it' rule they'd established early on when Storm had kept spending half of his nights with Tav and Astarion ended up joining them had been for Tav, initially. But they wondered now if it didn't also offer some assurance of safety for Astarion. Not that Storm would ever push him, and they all knew that, but on a day like today, the added spoken rule might ease his mind anyway. A clear signal that he was not open to that kind of intimacy, without ever having to voice a refusal.
There might have been a tad too much unconcealed understanding in their eyes though, because Astarion's quiet musing rapidly shifted to an annoyed sort of self-consciousness.
"Just keep the cuddles confined to your side of the bed when I get there, will you?" he said sharply with an aloofness that did not quite conceal his discomfort.
"Whatever you want, darling," came Storm's sleepy voice at their back, rendered entirely oblivious to Astarion's dilemma by his hazy state of semi consciousness. "I love you."
Astarion's sourness melted as fast as it came, and he threw Tav a look of fond exasperation, presumably at his inability to resist Storm's sweetness. To which they shrugged playfully, and that only made him roll his eyes.
"Get this man to bed," he said, finally heading towards the bath. "Please. Before I permanently forget what anger feels like."
Tav snorted softly, before diligently prodding Storm in the direction of their room.
The cats begrudgingly accepted to surrender the bed to them once Tav had changed into looser night clothes. Smoke immediately settled back on it, curling on top of Storm's chest. Light grey fur on dark grey skin. Mirror acted as if joining was a chore, but he purred all the same once comfortably nestled in Tav's arms.
Until Astarion finally came to bed, and the little black and white menace started hissing at him.
"Yes, yes, I know," Astarion sighed, sitting on the bed. "If you're not happy you can leave."
Smoke walked all over Tav to go nestle comfortably near Astarion's shoulder when he lay down, and Mirror indeed fled the bed to relocate in a spot of the room where he was not in direct view of the vampire.
But there was no way Tav would ever lament the loss of the cat's warmth βMirror's dislike was mostly for show, anywayβ, not when Storm shifted at their back and his warmth enveloped them instead, not when Astarion smiled so sweetly next to them when one single dark finger tangled with his own, and certainly not when they could hear the tiefling's tail flicking happily against the side of the bed.
"Oh, it's happy rhythm time," Astarion chuckled quietly. "The 'I am with Astarion and Natavriel' happy rhythm, no less."
The quiet thumps of Storm's tail halted, and Astarion's protest came within seconds.
"Don't stop!"
"What you just said is the equivalent of telling someone 'oh you're blinking really fast when you're happy' and then expecting them to keep blinking very fast. I can't not stop now that I'm thinking about it."
"Don't fight," Tav teased, even though Storm grumbling might have been the cutest thing they'd ever heard. "Or I'll go rest somewhere else."
"No, I'm quiet," said Storm, holding them tighter. "I'm quiet."
Astarion smirked as he played with Storm's index ring, but also stayed silent. And before long, the rhythmic tapping of Storm's tail started again. Tav joined their hand with his, intertwining one finger with Astarion's in the same way Storm had, and for the second time that night, they thought there was nowhere they would rather be than here.
Because that house they had so often despised indeed felt more than a simple roof over their head, now. For the first time in thirty years, this house had finally become a home.
You know what feature I miss here? An "original posts" filter.
Like over at Bluesky. There you have a feed that shows "only posts" from the accounts you follow, with only original content and no reposts.
Not because there's anything wrong with reposts, it's a cornerstone of the site, but sometimes they vastly outnumber original posts so they get sort of drowned - and while I do like the reposts I want to make sure I see your original stuff too. Like when visiting someone's blog it would be neat with a "see their own posts"-button.
Just a thought, I understand it might not be technically possible.
And now the word "post" has been repeated enough to lose all meaning in my mind.
I moaned about this last winter and finally found a solution: XKit Rewritten - a browser plugin for both Chrome and Firefox that (among many other things) gives all blogs a handy little "original posts" tab π
Works well enough, except it just hides the reblogs instead of taking them out of the feed. So if the blog has a lot of reblogs you still have to click through the pages in hopes of finding an original post further back.
The example image is from my blog where the first page is blank atm, I had to go to page 2 to find an original post. But still! Now it will be so much easier to find people's original content! π
at least on my browser, if you go to a blog, hit the search icon, then hit in the filter section "original posts" toggle to "on", it'll show only the blog's original posts
Jamie does not see themself as a leader, really. They realize at a certain point that the companions consider them a leader and trust them to make decisions, but Jamie thinks that is Very Fucking Weird Actually and considers themself to be following the companions for the most part.
There's a githyanki creche up yonder? Sounds fun, Lae, let's head over there! / Gotta go through the Gauntlet of Shar? Okay goth gal, lead the way. / You're gonna kill your vampiric master, sunshine, I'm just here to help. They think the only reasons they speak for the group so often are 1) they tend to capture strangers' attention due to their weird eyes and general infernal-bloodstained-freak aura and 2) they're pretty friendly and are indeed a half-elf; in the Forgotten Realms, half-elves are trusted/liked by most folk, so it's kinda fair to make the non-Sharran half-elf your group's representative (especially when your other options are Wizard With Propensity For Verbosity, Guy Who Just Became A Devil, Loud Scary Tiefling, Mean Vampire Elf, and... Lae'zel).
Jamie doesn't understand their influence over the party until they help Shadowheart free Dame Aylin. That's when they start to notice the others turning to them for input and valuing what they have to say. They pick up on how every morning, everyone gathers around Jamie for direction: what mission are we taking, who's coming, what roles are we playing, who's staying at camp? Folks ask Jamie for guidance (or even permission) with personal decisions. None of this is new in the Shadow Cursed Lands, but that is where/when Jamie actually internalizes it.
Even then, Jamie's a reluctant leader. It's a mindset of "I guess these guys need me to make the big calls... I can't let them down, so I'll do it, but uh. They probably should pick someone else, like, eventually."
If they had to choose who they view most as The Leaderβ’οΈ they'd probably pick... Gale? Not necessarily because Gale is making strategic decisions, but because they view Gale as the one keeping the group together. He does most of the cooking and gives lots of advice and! He can read! He can read better than anyone, in fact!
That last part sounds like a joke but it's not. Early-story Jamie, noted illiterate blood-mage with food issues, believes the person who can cook best = the most capable person and anyone who can read = more intelligent than Jamie. That belief is part of why they don't see themself as a real leader. However, when they learn about the orb they start to trust Gale's decision-making sliiiightly less (I really do mean slightly; also, it's not that they think their own decision-making is much better).
But really Jamie likes to think of their friends as leaders in certain topics. Lae'zel is an expert in combat, Gale is an expert in language, Minthara and Jamie trade poison recipes, etc. etc. They never realize that the fact they intuitively see and genuinely value every person's input individually is exactly what makes them a natural leader π€
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Rating the birds in my backyard by tendency toward violence
Northern Cardinal, 4/10
I'm sometimes worried the male is sexually harassing the female but I'm pretty sure they're just doing some elaborate public pickup roleplay. The rest of us didn't agree to participate in your kink, guys.
American Robin, 1/10
Literally just some dude hanging out. Never bothered anyone but worms. Big fan of the way you just stand there in the middle of the grass like you forgot what you were supposed to be doing.
House Sparrow, 10/10
You're a gang. You're participating in gang violence. There's ten billion of you living in a single wood pile and it's been civil war for three years now. When will the bloodshed end?
Tufted Titmouse, 1/10
A shy baby. A pretty little guy. I saw you on the neighbor's garage roof and time stopped. There were anime sparkles around you. Come back.
European Starling, 9/10
Why is it always you? Listen, I know, I KNOW the sparrows are the problem, and YET. When the fighting starts, it's always you in the middle of it, provoking them and then screaming like you're an innocent bystander defending yourself. I'm onto you.
Carolina Wren, 3/10
This rating is not for physical violence, which you don't engage in, but for your role as an incurable narc. A tattle tale. I know they're fighting again, okay? I see it. Our yard has been a warzone for years, you don't have to make a big announcement every time someone misbehaves.
Eastern Wood-Peewee, 0/10
If this were "birds who think they're better than everyone else," you'd get 10/10.
Red-bellied Woodpecker, 6/10
It's a utility pole. It's not a tree. You're surrounded by trees that are full of bugs. But there you are, on the utility pole. Committing vandalism.
American Crow, unrated
For who am I to cast judgment on the actions of La Famiglia? I assume you are doing what is best for the neighborhood. If I could, though, without criticism, make a single observation. That when large numbers of you gather in the ominous dead cottonwood - no? No, you're right. None of my business.
Great Crested Flycatcher, 5/10
Frankly, I think you could be doing more. I think your name implies a great potential. I think you should massacre the insects. I think your beak should drip with viscera.
La Famiglia does not suffer you to stop in our neighborhood long, and I trust their judgement in this manner. You have the look of a guilty bird.
Tennessee Warbler, 2/10
You keep to yourselves, and I respect that. I get the sense that you could defend yourselves if it came to it, though.
Brown-Headed Cowbird, 3/10
You're not a crow, and eventually they ARE going to figure it out, kiddo.
Gray Catbird, 5/10
Would you. Respectfully. Would you shut the FUCK UP.
Eurasian Collared-Dove, 0/10
You're doing great, sweetie, everyone loves you.
Red-Breasted Nuthatch, 4/10
A comedian. A little jester of a bird. You're so silly. Sure sometimes you incite violence in others but, really, is that your fault? If it is, we forgive you.
Blue Jay, 12/10
If you could learn any human behavior you wanted, it would be how to build a bomb.
Honorable mention:
Turkey Vulture, 5/10
You weren't in my backyard, but you WERE eating roadkill in the street in my neighborhood. I know the animal was already dead when you got there, but you get violence points for frightening the small children that walked past you. Incredible work.
I immediately scrolled to the blue jay to decide whether or not I wanted to read the rest of the post. Once I realized that OP got that right, I went back and read the rest. 10/10 OP.
I read this to my dad who sits on his porch and watches the birds and his only note is that he has seen multiple male cardinals attempt to fight their reflections to the death and should have a higher rating.
This was supposed to be a training exercise, Lae'zel started it, Karlach is more than happy to finish it.
Thank you everyone for 200 followers, but also for all of the likes and reblogs for me and my bg3 antics. It's been a difficult year but we're getting there and I could not have asked for nicer mutuals and friends on this journey.
If this is your first time seeing my art I have done more! I don't tend to reblog my own art often (I know, I know) but I do have a master link at the top of my page with a lot of links to art under the cut!
There will be another poll soon! (Tomorrow maybe?) because we have definitely broken 210 followers too (and maybe 220 by the time we're done?!? Holy shit)
I am sort of frustrated about that post I made about Google Gemini giving an AI summary of Tumblr users if you google a URL because it quickly turned into a long post where people started sharing all the things the AI got wrong about them, and I'm not saying it isn't good for a laugh when an AI is wrong, but I feel like people are missing the point. Who cares if the AI offers information about you that's wrong? What's worrying is all the information the AI got right.
That initial accidental google I did of a mutual returned an AI summary that was absolutely correct, and featured information about them that would not have been obvious from a quick perusal of their blog. The first few times I googled myself the AI overview was 100% correct. The version of that post that is circulating is not the one where I shared that the AI gave me someone's real name. I had hoped that it had screwed up and it wasn't their real name after all, but no, I checked with them, and just by googling someone's Tumblr URL, I got their honest to goodness legal name. Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? Like yeah I get that it's fun to go, "Haha, AI bad at collecting information," but that's not the problem. The problem is that sometimes AI good at collecting information, and it can collect a lot more a lot faster than a normal human can, by running multiple searches simultaneously and cross-referencing a lot of different documents all in a few seconds, for a level of snooping that would take a real person hours or even days, if they could do it at all.
That is so dangerous and I need people to be angrier about the fact that Google thinks it's okay to let their AI do this for online users. If you google your legal name and you're not already famous the AI won't say shit. Because that would be creepy and invasive! So why does Google think it's all hunky dory to do it for random internet users?
If you're reading this and thinking that sounds incredibly scary/unsafe, please go into your blog settings and make sure the setting to discourse external searching is turned on!!!!
^ it should look like this ^
I've had that setting on for a long time. When I saw this post I tried googling my account and no AI summary appeared. I decided to experiment, and I turned that setting off and googled my url againβthat time the AI summary appeared. It got a lot wrong, but it did get some things right, and had a concerning amount of information considering a few minutes before the AI summary didn't even appear. It also had the state I live in listed, accurately. That's not something I'm super secretive about, I have said it on here before, but it's also not something I necessarily want an AI telling someone umpromted just because they Googled my URLβfrankly I think it's absolutely insane that the AI is able to do that without people questioning it. I quickly turned the discourage external searching setting back on, and I'm no longer getting the AI overviews. But it's definitely something we all should be aware ofβespecially on other social media sites that don't have that feature.
Text of tweet under the cut because it is loooong.
But... Stochastic Parrots.
Timnit Gebru was fired from Google in December 2020 for refusing to retract a research paper, and every single warning that paper made about large language models has now happened at a scale the industry spent 4 years trying to make people forget about.
Her name is Timnit Gebru.
She co-led the Ethical AI team at Google. She co-wrote a paper called "On the Dangers of Stochastic Parrots" with Emily Bender at the University of Washington and two other researchers. The paper was 14 pages long. It was submitted to a top AI ethics conference. And it was the reason Google decided that one of the most senior Black women in AI research could no longer work there.
The story Google told publicly was that she resigned. The story she told, confirmed by 2,695 of her colleagues in an open letter, was that she was fired by email while on vacation because she refused to either retract the paper or remove her name from it.
The paper had not even been published yet.
Here is what she actually wrote, and why every prediction inside it has now come true.
The first warning was about scale itself. Bender and Gebru argued that training ever-larger models on ever-larger scrapes of the internet would produce systems that appeared fluent but had no actual understanding of language. They called these systems stochastic parrots because they would repeat patterns from training data with statistical confidence and zero comprehension. The paper predicted that this apparent intelligence would fool both users and developers into trusting outputs that were structurally incapable of being reliable.
This was 2020. GPT-3 had just come out. The paper predicted the hallucination problem before anyone had a word for it.
The second warning was about bias amplification. The paper documented in detail that internet-scale training data contains systematic overrepresentation of dominant viewpoints and underrepresentation of marginalized ones. The models would not just absorb this bias. They would amplify it, because the optimization process rewards confident outputs, and confidence in language patterns tracks frequency in the training set.
The prediction was that hiring tools built on these models would discriminate against women. That healthcare triage tools would underperform on Black patients. That loan approval systems would entrench inequality while presenting their decisions as neutral algorithmic judgment.
Every one of those things has now been documented in deployment.
Amazon's hiring algorithm penalized resumes that contained the word "women" in any context. Healthcare risk scoring algorithms used by major US hospitals were found to systematically underestimate the medical needs of Black patients. Apple Card's credit algorithm gave wives credit lines 10x lower than their husbands for the same financial profile.
The third warning was about environmental cost. The paper calculated that training a single large language model produced emissions equivalent to the lifetime output of 5 cars. The prediction was that the race to scale would create an environmental footprint that would eventually rival entire industries.
In 2024, Google's emissions were up 48% from 2019, and the company explicitly blamed AI infrastructure. Microsoft's were up 29%, same reason. Both companies have now quietly abandoned the climate commitments they were publicly celebrating the year Gebru was fired.
The fourth warning was about documentation. The paper argued that the training datasets being assembled were too large for anyone to actually audit. Nobody at Google, OpenAI, Meta, or any other lab could tell you with confidence what was in the data their models were trained on. This was not a temporary problem to be solved later. It was a permanent feature of the approach.
In 2023, researchers discovered that the LAION-5B dataset, used to train Stable Diffusion and other major image models, contained thousands of images of child sexual abuse material. The companies that had trained on the dataset had no way of knowing. The paper predicted that category of failure 3 years before it was found.
The fifth warning was the one Google cared about most.
Bender and Gebru argued that the deployment of these systems would centralize linguistic and cultural power in the hands of the small number of companies that could afford to train them. The internet would become a place where the dominant voice was a statistical average of dominant voices, presented as a neutral assistant. Languages underrepresented in the training data would degrade over time as more web content was generated by these systems and fed back into the next training run.
This is now happening in real time. A 2024 study found that 57% of new web content in English is AI-generated or AI-assisted. Researchers studying low-resource languages have documented active degradation in translation quality, because the synthetic content fed back into training is itself worse in those languages.
The paper Google fired her for predicted the model collapse problem before model collapse had a name.
The mechanism behind why this all happened is the part of her work that nobody quotes.
Gebru's argument was not that AI is dangerous in some abstract sci-fi sense. Her argument was that AI is dangerous in a very specific structural sense. The technology was being built by a small group of researchers who shared similar backgrounds, worked at similar companies, and were rewarded for shipping products faster than competitors. The incentive structure made it impossible for safety, ethics, and bias concerns to slow anything down. Anyone inside the system who raised those concerns was either ignored, sidelined, or removed.
She was making that argument from inside Google.
Then Google proved her right by removing her.
The team Google had built to make sure their AI was safe was dismantled in 90 days because they did the job they had been hired to do. Margaret Mitchell, the other co-lead of the Ethical AI team, was fired two months after Gebru for searching through her own emails for evidence of how Gebru had been treated.
Gebru did not stop. She founded DAIR, the Distributed AI Research Institute, in 2021. The mission is to do AI research outside the control of the companies that have a financial interest in not hearing the answers.
Every prediction in the Stochastic Parrots paper has now been validated by deployment. Hallucinations are an industry-wide problem the largest labs cannot solve. Bias amplification has been documented in hiring, healthcare, lending, and criminal justice. Environmental costs are larger than entire small countries. Training data audits remain impossible. Model collapse is an active research crisis at every major lab.
The question worth sitting with is the one almost no one in the industry will say out loud.
Every researcher with the technical credibility to call out these problems watched what happened to her in December 2020 and made a calculation about their own career. The number of people willing to speak publicly about safety and ethics issues inside the major AI labs collapsed after that firing and has not recovered.
The researcher Google fired for warning about exactly what is now happening was right.
The company that fired her is now the second-largest deployer of the technology she warned about.
And the people inside that company who agree with her are not allowed to say so.
I just went looking for the post on X and got a message that it didn't exist
I searched for Guri Singh and got search results showing his account existed, but when I clicked on it I got a message his account did not exist
Does anyone know if he made his account private or if he got nuked by Elon? Or do I just suck at X (because I never go there)?
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Sister Larynda of the tears of blood
Aka Bhaalist Caedus' false identity to spy investigator
And development of this post: link
Moon elf
She/her
1m75
Age: ?
Principal assistant of the big sister Hova
All people who meet sister Larynda love her, she's a very kind and sweet person. She also smiles and laughs a lot.
Before to join the Tears of Blood the facade organization of the cult of Bhaal to recruit new members, she lived in the street of Baldur's Gate. She was found in the street by the big sister Hova, the founder of tears of blood. She joined the city not very long time ago. She left their poor village to a better life but after to join the city, she continues to live a miserable life in the street of the city.
Now the moon elf doesn't hesitate to devote her life to others
Larynda meets the druid Tav a druid investigator who investigates on the tears of blood but both develop very quickly a romantic relationship. and Tav quickly doesn't think that the moon elf is a cultist of Bhaal, his doubt persists with the big sister Hova and some others members of the tear of the blood but not Larynda. She's so kind and pure to be a bloody killer.
"Are you a daughter of the moon?
Your silver hair and your silver eyes are the beaufitul reflections of the divine satellite.
You're magnificent Larynda"
Tav to Larynda
But this beautiful story hides a sinister secret, the sweet Larynda doesn't really exist.
Bhaalist Caedus doesn't hesitate to disguise themself to protect their cult. They perfectly play the role of this young moon elf who falls in love with the druid investigator, their ennemy.
As Larynda no one discovers their real identity but after this event Caedus will prefer to appear less in public.
Yet, when she thought no one was looking, Nimriel would let a shadow flicker across her face.
Rolan wouldnβt ask what was wrong. Listening to hollow excuses hurt almost as much as knowing she wasnβt ready to share her ache. And so, the wizard would feign his own mask of obliviousness. The unbearable anticipation of Nimβs next breaking point ate at him all the same. In the solitude of his mind, Rolan cursed himself, not strong enough to shield her from grief.
The sun of her smile should never have been dimmed by the countless burdens the realm faced. He was determined to do anything in his power and far beyond it to bask in her warmth again. No matter if Nimriel allowed it or not.
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β’ General tag: #yae of evereska
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Kirian
Ey/em β’ human β’ commoner β’ genderfluid
β’ General tag: #kirian the witch
β’ Masterpost (TBA)
Gift art π€π§‘
By Elceewunjo β’ By Endermal β’ By Theya-Art
Handy tags
β’ #tag games and #asks
β’ #candle's writing β you can also check my AO3 account
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Zines & other initiatives
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