Heya, I'm Elcee 🤗 early 30's, queer and ND, going by they/them pronouns. Welcome!
Writer, TTRPG enthusiast, music lover, and occasional psychology nerd (not trained, it's just a big interest of mine). And I do art sometimes. When the muse strikes.
Mostly posting and reblogging bg3, OC content, and writing things, and it's likely going to be like that for a while since I'm currently in the middle of writing my longfic for bg3, but you can consider this place to be a multi interest platform for all the aforementioned hobbies.
[Their masterpost is here]
Natavriel (Tav, they/them) and Storm (DU, he/him) exist in the same timeline. Storm is a forsaken Durge, having lost his duel to Orin (at least in the main timeline I write about, but I occasionally delve into a happy ending for them too). My longfic dealing with the consequences of that for Tav and Astarion is post canon, but I do write one shots during the events of the game too, and those are a tiny bit less tragic.
If there's only ONE post to read about them it's the one about the companions relationships with them, here :3
Storm's tag | Natavriel's tag
I don't do DNIs, but I do speak of heavy and dark topics very often, so proceed accordingly 🩶
Find me on AO3
Common tags : #elcee posts | #elcee writes | #elcee draws
All my posts without the reblogs, for quick browsing
More navigation links under the cut
(bg3 exclusive for now but who knows what the future may bring)
[AO3 link]
The battle is won, the Netherbrain defeated, and Astarion is free. But as he returns to the shadows, someone fails to follow him —his lover, child of Bhaal, condemned to madness by his own father. For weakness, for disobedience, it matters not, Storm is lost. Astarion navigates his grief with the help of Tav, and fights for closure as they both try to find where the balance of their friendship lies, now that Storm is gone.
In progress : 19/30. Updating... when I can.
Longfic Interview is here
The context of how this happened in my head can be found here
General tag | WIP tag
Snippets of my Dark Urge's tadpole journey alongside Natavriel, of their platonic bond, of his friendships with the tadfools, and of his romance with Astarion
POV varies between Storm and Tav
Home (some backstory, lots of angst)
[AO3][Tumblr]
Violent Delights, Violent Ends (durge backstory, tragedy, mind the tags)
[AO3]
A Name is a Powerful Thing (angst, some minor comfort in the form of Tav being here, mind the tags. One of my fav piece of writing ever.)
[AO3][Tumblr]
Conflicts Of The Mind (act I angst, hurt/comfort, mental health exploration)
[AO3] In progress : 3/4
His fangs mean Death (character study for my Durge, mild smut)
[AO3]
(mostly, those are the chapters of the previous fic diving into Astarion's memory of the tadpole journey, and they more or less all work as standalone if that's all you have the space for)
The simple plan (angst and comfort, durgestarion/bloodspark)
Kindness is a hateful thing (hurt/comfort, durgestarion/bloodspark)
[AO3][Tumblr]
You will feel my hunger (hurt no comfort, durgestarion/bloodspark)
[AO3][Tumblr]
Here Comes the Sun Again (fluffy angst? is that a thing?, Tav & Astarion)
[AO3][Tumblr]
Stay (angst)
This one is about Nocturne and Shadowheart! Also unedited because it was for a flash fiction prompt and I rarely go back on those
Only on Tumblr (if I edit it it might make it to AO3 one day)
First Snow (fluff, Shadowheart x Halsin x Karlach)
[AO3][Tumblr]
Astarion and gratitude
Astarion and Drizzt
Astarion's resilience
Astarion thinks deus ex machinas are very twee
Why Astarion's character resonnated with me (answerring an ask)
Shar, Shadowheart, and grief
My favourite BG3 NPC (it's Doni, if you don't know who that is go read the post and I might forgive you /j)
Karlach/Shadowheart/Halsin headcanon
Karlach/Shadowheart/Halsin relationship post game
The Natavriel/Storm/Astarion situation
My Gale'zel version
The Mucha series
(almost complete with the Origin companions, I'm only missing Karalch :3)
Hugs (Astarion x Storm & Natavriel)
A Night of Peace (also Astarion x Storm & Natavriel)
Kitten Agression (still Astarion x Storm & Natavriel but happy)
I Hold You (Storm and Tav QPR)
Kisss 🩶 (bloodspark)
Wyll's portrait
Not everything is listed here, just my fav pieces 🩶
Yae of Evereska for @burnt-by-marigolds
Ellith for @litsenn
I have so many things planned here, and so little bandwidth for it 😅 More will come, eventually 🩶
An Unexpected Invitation - Gift fic by @missfortunetherogue, featuring their OC, Miss Fortune/Sasha Amastacia
The Silent Three - VP by @burnt-by-marigolds, Storm sharing the pantheon of silence with Yae and River
All in the Golden Afternoon - VP by @burnt-by-marigolds with their OCs Yae and Kirian
Storm's portrait - Art by @theya-art
Storm and Natavriel's Christmas - Art by @endermal
The Hopeful Masquerade - VP set by @/burnt-by-marigolds, with many other OCS :3
Thank you, you wonderful people 🩶✨
Most of those are written in one go, and unedited, so they have various degrees of quality haha
I do those mostly as a way to practice, and also because I like to procrastinate when I'm at work
(yes, those have all been written on company time... Does that mean I'm a paid writer??)
Gravity [Read on Tumblr][AO3]
This one is dark. CW : depression, suicide (though not super explicit)
Chrysalis [Read on Tumblr]
WoD:Changeling themed if you squint
There is power in a name [Read on Tumblr]
Also about faes, if the fae in question is a child snatcher
Night Killer [Read on Tumblr]
This one is an experiment with some worldbuilding I had done a long time ago and I wanted to bring back. I had a lot of fun writing it but I'm not sure how readable it is.
You blood is mercy [Read on Tumblr]
This one is also dark. CW : child's death (more or less)
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A little something I started last night - taking place in very late act 1 (a couple of days before the companions reach the Shadow-cursed Lands). Bear with me.
A mischievous and mysterious smile danced on their lips. “You think you know everything about me, now?” Ellith asked.
“Sweetheart, I might not know everything about you, but I bedded more times than was necessary and I never caught any other smell on your skin but that of your… very peculiar ashen taste.”
This time, the bard let out a loud, melodious laugh, half-genuine, half-cynical. “More than necessary, you say?” They nodded playfully. “Yes, surely.. but believe it or not, Astarion, that’s not enough to make you an expert in… my exceptional self.”
He chuckled, and that smug expression of his crawled back on his face. after a short pause, he crooked his head to the side, as if gauging the bard. “I wouldn’t be so sure…”
There was no point arguing with the vampire spawn about that. Ellith had no regret for what had happened with Astarion, but after their last night together, they had preferred to leave it at that before things got too... confusing.
They shrugged and turned away to step back to their tent, but Astarion’s voice immediately resonated behind them. “It’s not for Gale, is it?”
Ellith froze, and frowned. Was he serious? There was an undeniable curiosity in his voice but also something else, something that sounded like… concern?
“For what it’s worth, Astarion, Gale told me he liked my musk as it is. I don’t need any perfume to ravish our magical companion.”
Ellith’s voice was a little bit challenging but not devoid of humour. Astarion, on the other hand, wasn’t laughing at all.
“It can’t possibly be Karlach….” He mused, scratching his chin. “The Tiefling wouldn’t be bothered by your ashen scent…. The druid, then? Is that why you put on that dress?”
Repressing a chuckle, Ellith shook their head, both hands resting on their hips. “Hunting for gossips, are we? Unless… Wait, are you jealous, Astarion?”
“I… What?! No!” He shook his head vehemently, as if trying to chase a fly away. “Jealous? Me? Wouldn’t that be ridiculous?”
“That’s almost cute, you know.”
Crossing his arms over his chest, Astarion gave them a look that only he could display: Disgust and arrogance mingling into the snobbiest wince. It was getting harder for Ellith to keep their laughter in. He hissed and turned away without any further ado.
“See you in the morning, Astarion.” The bard scoffed, and they knew from the way he flinched that he hadn’t expected them to bid their goodnight so early in the evening.
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Full pics + additional yapping under the cut (CW: mentions of depression and self-neglect)
ON THE NAUTILOID
At the very beginning of the game, I wanted Yae to wear something he could plausibly put on when going out on the streets after everyday's business; not adventuring gear, but casual clothes. I mentioned on several occasions ([1], [2], [3]; sorry I keep repeating myself, I won't stop) that prior to the events of BG3, he suffered a bad depression episode, which resulted in self-neglected.
That's why I decided to dye the outfit with the Scorched Dye – because not only he generally prefers browns and greys (and at this stage, he'd hate to dress in anything even remotely flamboyant), but also to maybe show the clothes weren't exactly fresh. His hair is grown out and messy, and everything is splattered in blood and dirt – because I doubt the nautiloid would pass even the most lenient sanitary check.
He has a knife he has found on the ship, but doesn't feel confident using it – he favours long, narrow blades. His magic is less powerful not because of the tadpole, but because of self-neglect, which resulted in malnourishment, sleep deprivation and him getting generally physically (even) weaker. But once he gets out of the pod, the tadpole puts a damper on the mental illness, and survival instinct kicks in.
(I also like to ramp up his wrinkles at this stage, just to emphasise the unhealthy look.)
THE FIRST TWO DAYS OR SO
Right after landing on the beach, Yae braids two thin strands of hair at the sides of his face – to steady himself (you'll know why after The Ebbs and Flows goes into open access) – and then cuts the rest of his hair. It still results in a messy mop, but shorter. It might not be visible in the picture, but some longer strands still escaped his ungraceful effort.
Later, he's able to wash. The clothes remain worn, but at least they're clean. He finds a rapier and immediately discards the knife in favour of the weapon he feels more comfortable with.
Also what you see in this second picture is Yae's neutral expression :)
THE GROVE
Only after reaching the grove, the party is able to stock up on supplies properly. Yae once again tries to tame his hair – by carefully and patiently getting rid of all the longer loose strands that kept getting in his face – but he refuses to let anyone else touch it and give him a proper haircut. Not yet.
Since the travel from the grove to Baldur's Gate is said to last a tenday – and since the Absolute's forces are going to make sure it'll take longer for the party – he gets some gear, newer and more suited for adventuring (he doesn't throw away his old clothes, though, he sometimes gets attached to objects :) ). He still favours practical over fancy, the goal is to survive and not to look good. And he chooses a new scarf to wrap around his neck. The additional layers separating him from the outside world make him feel more comfortable.
I swear I was just going to take "simple screenshots", but apparently those don't exist for my brain.
But I did took a step back – after frying my GPU (and then, thankfully, reviving it) – and decided to take to heart @wild-surge's advice (which wasn't even directed at me, but it's still a very sound advice; so thank you a lot for it) and experiment more with the native tools the game provides.
So no ReShade and almost no LL (mostly for posing and adjusting poses a tiny bit); the light is all native to the game.
I discovered that coming back to those basic tools with more experience, I kinda know how to use them more efficiently. Hopefully I can continue to learn.
A thank-you sunflower goes to 🌻@perpetualmaladaptivedaydream, 🌻@litsenn & 🌻@unovafarm! I had a blast making this. Hope I got it right... I wasn't sure about the title for this tag game, haha.
Let us see your moodboards! Your OC, your OC and their Love Interest, a theme, a song, a quote - anything!
Credit: Borislav Slavov and Skar Productions! CW: boob.
Open tags (not sure who's been tagged already, so, mi scusi!) @quinthebard, @ceremorph0sis, @carnivaley, @babydinosaur930, @elceewunjo, @halsins-herbal-underpants, @starlit-serpent, @bloodsol94, @lucretiouswept, @cursed-nyxan, @woundedsoul12, @thepickledmermaid, @onlytavs, @aristenfromwarsaw & @lilhumanoid
Whew. Been a while since I wipped xD I'm sorry guys for being so inconsistent, it's definitely not going to get better now that I am working full time again ^^
Thank you so much to everyone who tagged me in the past month, please accept a uno reverse tag, @litsenn, @optimisticgrey, @scoldingdarjeeling, @riddlerosehearts, @missfortunetherogue, @wild-surge, @lucretiouswept, @bladesingerlily 🫶 Also tagging @burnt-by-marigolds, @lilhumanoid, @coincoin-zinzin, @heartcrystal2000 and @the-starflower if and whenever you want to share something :3
Here's some more Storm and Natavriel bonding, three days into the journey, because I've been working on the epilogue to A Name is a Powerful Thing. As always with early game, Storm isn't talking much ^^ He's trying, alright? Being brain-damaged Durge is not easy x)
A peek through half open flaps let them know that Storm was resting, but still awake. They tapped two fingers against the fabric to announce their arrival.
"Hey," they greeted him softly when he sat up. "Can I sit with you?"
He nodded slowly, and they joined him on the floor of the entrance, sitting cross-legged by his side on the old rug they'd found abandoned somewhere in the Grove, and claimed for him to use.
"I have a gift for you. Well, two gifts, really."
The first one of these gifts had been loosely hanging on their thumb, and they took it off to present it to him flat on their palm. A ring, made from the one he had picked from their stash, that first night.
Rather than removing the stone from the original ring and having to embed it in a new one, Tav had simply cut out part of the gold before resizing the ring with silver —matching Storm's existing jewellery. The barest hint of gold still surrounded the inlaid blue stone, before melting away in the silver, the mingling of the two metal forming elegant swirls along the smooth surface.
Between the dimness of his resting space, and the beard still obscuring half his face, Storm's half-smile was barely visible. Tav still answered it with one of their own when he picked up their gift.
He tried it on each of his jewellery-free fingers, flexing his hands with a frown that grew a little deeper each time. The ring escaped his clumsy fingers on three separate occasions, and Tav caught it just before it rolled out of the tent, handing it back to him silently. His balance had seemed to improve slightly over the past few days, but most of the finer motions still proved difficult. As long as he didn't ask for help or wasn't at risk of hurting himself, though, Tav was intent on letting him do most things on his own.
"I can resize it again if it doesn't fit anywhere."
A subtle shaking of his head answered their offer. Clearly, this was not the problem.
Storm then removed one of his own already present rings before replacing it with the one Tav had just given him back for the third time. He flexed his hand once more, nodded, ran his thumb over the stone, and looked back at Tav with a hint of a smile back on his face. They couldn't help but glance at his own ring, now abandoned on the floor of his tent.
"You don't have to wear this one if you'd prefer to keep your own, you know."
Another shaking of head, and Storm held their gaze intently, the way he sometimes did when he wanted to say something and struggled to do so.
"I keep… that one." He ran his thumb over the smooth stone again. "Thank you."
So often these past three days, he had battled with his words for no other reasons than to offer thanks and appreciation, when most of the people having no trouble speaking voiced demands and expectations instead. On the first night, when the first complete sentence to cross his lips had been a sassy retort to their teasing observation that he didn't speak much, Tav had thought —very reasonably— that they might very well be willing to die for this man.
Anyone putting this much energy into humour, when the day had offered nothing but pain and fear before that point, was someone they wanted to protect at all cost.
I will make no promises as to when I'll publish that chapter ^^ "Eventually" is my ETA xD
Thank you @litsen for the tag!!! I also spoke: here, here and here
But here, I'll develop more!!
The name Caedus is an important name for my Durge but also for me. This name accompanies me since a long time, since my teenage years.
Part 1: A galaxy far far away
The name Caedus comes of my another favorite fandom: Star Wars.
Caedus cames from the sith name: Darth Caedus. This is a name of a villain. The word Caedus comes for the latin: Caeda/Caedes which means: murder, slaughter.
In Star Wars universe, the villain Darth Caedus is more near of Ketheric Thorm and Gortash than Durge. He's a person who join the dark side to try to stop the war and stop horror of this but he made totally the opposite blind by the Dark Side. He finally became a tyrant. He's a tragic character who lived the horror of wars and loss of his brother and friends, these tragic events openned the door of the Dark side for this character.
Darth Caedus
Before to join the dark side, he was a kind person who loved animals. Who prefers to resolve conflict whitout to use violence.
This character was clearly an inspiration for my Durge: the name, this meaning is just perfect for a Durge. But his kind personnality before to become a Sith Lord and his appareance were also little an inspiration especially as the lost mage.
The name Caedus is also a tribute to my another favorite universe and this charactar who is my favorite Star Wars character.
I also love the name of Caedus because it's an ancien word a latin word, it adds a mysterious side to my Durge.
Part 2: The name who kills the urges
Caedus is the birth name of my Durge, gave by Bhaal himself. Even their name was given by Bhaal, for Caedus this name is the name of freedom, it's Caedus who defeated the urges, their past. It's so symbolic for them. So naturally they keep this name. Caedus could be take their adoptive name: Monthea Stonehell but they don't remember this name. Take another name will be not natural for Caedus. They only knew this name since their awakening in the Nautiloid.
It's also like Shadowheart who keeps this name after to be free of Shar and I like so much that.
A free of Bhaal Caedus
I could not resist to take a screenshots with the two villains together, you know me and my love of crossover!!! lol
For Bhaalist Caedus, there is a new person to manipulate and after to sacrifice to Bhaal.
Mods used:
Darth Caedus: face, outfit, lightsaber, hair, eyes
Bhaalist Caedus: outfit, earrings, crown, dye, eyes: here and here
Caedus' outfit lost mage act 3
Pose: here and here
QSAT
Lighty lights
Place
custom companion
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I already talked about it a bit (here), but let's do it again 🖤
'Ellith' is a name I created, based on Tolkien's etymologies for both Sindarin and Quenya, and their mutual influences during the First Age of Middle-earth.
Basically, el is the etymological root that is most often related to the stars : Elbereth -> Lady of the Stars, Eldalië -> people of the stars (the Elves), which gave 'Eldar' and 'Ellon/Elleth', or even Elendil (Elf-friend) among many other words in both Quenya and Sindarin and other elven dialects.
'Lith' means ashes/dust/sand in Sindarin, and it's related to Quenya 'litse' , both coming from the root lit.
As you can imagine, 'Litse' is also related to my own username. As for the '-nna' ending, it's a Quenya suffix to indicate a destination ( '-men' in sindarin). Therefore 'Litsen' is a sort of mix between Sindarin and Quenya of my own invention which should mean 'to the dust/ashes' (not sure Tolkien would approve of my use of his etymologies - I'm no linguistic scholar - but the man is not longer here to judge me anyway so who cares).
And it's all related to one of my former OC, Seregtari, who was a version of Lilith but adapted to Middle-earth - back then I tried to find a Tolkien-ish etymological explanation for her name, which would make sense in his legendarium.
[Seregtari, a commission I made back then to @tosquinha]
After many circumvolutions, I decided that 'Lilith' would be a diminutive for 'Lithenna', which basically means the same thing as Litsen, but with the Sindarin Lith + quenya -nna -> 'to the dust/toward the dust'. Again, not sure Tolkien would approve any of this but I'm just playing with the etymologies he created to make it fit the story I want to tell (and my personal tastes).
And Lithenna became a username of mine for a few years (I changed it to Litsen because the "a" ending made it sound like a fem name and I didn't want to be ultimately perceived as a she-person. Litsen sounds a little more "neutral", I think).
Anyway, my OC Ellith is based on my former OC 'Lilith Seregtari', so I wanted a name that could be a reminder of it but in a different way, still with the connection to ashes - so Ellith basically means 'stardust' or 'star-ashes' (I didn't know anything about the Durge story back then, but when I first heard them say "all is ash and meat', I was delighted ahaha).
Of course, the languages of Faerûn aren't that of Tolkien's (although inspired by it in many ways), but still, I like to pretend their name keeps its meaning for the people of Faerûn (I briefly mentioned how they received their name in this fic).
As you can imagine, it means quite a lot to me, first of all because I wouldn't be here today in my professional and personal life, but also online life, without Tolkien's work and legendarium. His tales were the fertile ground from which most of my imagination sprouted and keeps on growing. As for the imagery of Lilith, it really meant a lot to me as I was growing up, I studied it a lot at uni through literature, cultural analysis and art, and I think it shaped me as a person somehow. So this is an ingredient I can't leave aside, even for a genderfluid character.
I hope it makes sense ahaha 😅 All in all that's a name that encapsulates many parts of my imagination and the little bit of creativity I've managed to channel through my OCs and fantasy preferences.
Alright, folks, the vacation bug has finally infected my brain, and I am officially out of commission, lol. And yeah, some of that infamous European heat has graced my corner of the world as well this week. So, yeah, expect me to be a lizard on the rocks *wink wink*
Thank you for tagging me along,🌻@litsenn! I thought you, in particular, might like this little demonstration of druidic politics...
Halsin remained relaxed, his eyes tracking her progress until she rounded a corner, his hands open at each side, his stance loose.
Waiting.
"Ah, you must be the man of legend, Master Halsin!" Tempest’s uncle said, with a gloved hand outstretched.
Halsin studied the offered hand in greeting before flicking his eyes back up.
Accepting.
"It is my true honor and pleasure to make your acquaintance. I am Alastair, the future of House Valourheart, and I wish to extend my—Hngh!"
A crack of fine bones interrupted the man’s prattling, followed by a crick of surrender from a pair of wooden soles.
Alastair, disoriented, now found himself trapped under the hulking druid’s shadow.
Halsin’s imposing figure worked in his favor, turning them away from prying eyes, avoiding suspicion.
An expression of camaraderie between gentlemen, nothing more.
Halsin leaned in, his voice low but undeniable.
“If I catch a whiff of a Zhentarim presence on those docks again…”
Alastair’s mouth worked uselessly, understanding draining the blood from his features,
“…you’ll not only find the road to Moonrise blocked by a landslide—you’ll find your merchant galleons at the bottom of the Chionthar.”
Halsin waited for his words to sink in before he continued.
“And as for Tempest…” Alastair flinched in agony from the sudden twist and angle of his comparatively diminutive wrist.
A pop of bones punctuated by a whimper,
“…you’ll never touch her again. Dishonor her name, and I will visit nature’s fury upon you,” Halsin growled.
He held the uncle’s eyes a beat longer before releasing him, leaving Alastair to nurse the compressed bones in his hand and wrist.
“Indeed. Your renown and reputation precede you, Master Halsin. Truly, the Emerald Enclave breeds champions of the wilds—equal parts admired for your benevolence and feared for your swift retribution. We are…most fortunate to have you standing at Tempest's side.”
“Excuse me.” With a bow, the perfumed charlatan drew a hasty retreat, personal guards in tow.
Are you even ‘pure’...
The words echoed in Halsin’s mind, something half-forgotten resurfacing once more...
ty for the tags @litsenn @missfortunetherogue @spillingteanotpermitted @perpetualmaladaptivedaydream - think that's everyone who's tagged me recently!
tagging: @lilhumanoid @heartcrystal2000 @fireflyeyes @thepalelawyer @elceewunjo @dr4gonwriter and reverse tagging everyone above if you have anything new to share!
yes, it's past 10 PM in my timezone, and i feel the need to prove that i am actually still working on pride month stuff and i didn't just give up halfway through last month. i meant to only slow down a little, then "a little" turned into "a lot" because so much happened at the end of the month... anyway, this is from my fic for day 15: purple - spirit.
(the idea here is that it's essentially about the spirit of their wedding vows... is that a loose interpretation of the prompt? maybe. but it's what i came up with, lol. also i really wanted an excuse to write about this.)
"Sweetheart," Elenion said from the doorway, "please tell me you're not revising lecture notes the night before our anniversary."
Gale startled, one hand sweeping over the papers with all the subtlety of a cat knocking a goblet off a table. Which was not the behavior of an innocent man.
"Gale."
"Len," Gale said, looking down at his hand still spread uselessly over the papers. "I… appear to have reacted in a manner that has made this significantly more suspicious."
Elenion's eyebrow rose.
Gale held his gaze for a moment, then sighed. "I was only reminiscing, darling. I'm sorry I woke you."
When Elenion stepped closer, they saw their own name at the top of the nearest page, followed by a single word underlined twice.
Vows.
These clearly weren't lecture notes.
Their gaze moved over the desk: page after page in Gale's careful hand, whole sentences crossed out and rewritten in increasingly desperate strokes.
"Gale," they said slowly, "are these drafts of your wedding vows?"
Gale glanced down at the papers. "…Some of them."
Elenion looked pointedly at the desk.
"Most," Gale amended.
"All of them?"
There was a pause.
Gale cleared his throat. "All seventeen of them, yes."
Elenion let out a soft laugh. "Why am I not surprised?"
"I may have suffered a minor linguistic crisis," Gale said with a small, embarrassed smile. "I wanted to get them right."
Elenion’s gaze caught on the first line of the nearest page. "I have looked to the stars all my life," he read aloud, "yet none have guided me so surely as the constellation of your gaze."
Gale closed his eyes. "That was from an early draft."
"I can tell."
He glanced down again, his smile softening. "It's beautiful, though. A bit absurd, but beautiful."
Gale opened one eye.
Elenion picked up another page before Gale could object. “Your beauty is a theorem for which my heart has no proof, and yet all evidence compels belief.”
Gale made a strangled sound. "I will remind you," he said, "that these pages were never meant to be subjected to bardic critique."
"Then maybe you shouldn't have married a renowned bard."
"A tactical oversight."
Elenion’s gaze flicked to another page and stopped. "Gale. This one continues on the back."
Gale's hand twitched toward it. "It was very late when I wrote that one."
Elenion smiled and shook his head. “Did Tara read these?”
Gale let out a deep sigh. "She was merciless. She once advised me that vows are traditionally expected to end before the guests begin aging visibly."
A laugh slipped out before Elenion could stop it. "Very wise of her."
Gale reached for the pages, but Elenion lifted them just out of reach.
"No, I need time with these. They're historical evidence."
"They are private evidence."
"Evidence that you loved me so much you temporarily forgot how language works?"
Gale’s mouth opened, then closed again. "Yes," he said softly. "Something like that."
It’s Disability Pride Month! And you know what that means, right? No? Well it has been ages and I’ve long been casually planning a series of short (maybe) essays around the parallels to disability - and the clearer disability representation - throughout Baldur’s Gate 3 in both the characters and the story. So what better month than this to finally work on them and bring them out?
Whilst I do have some personal lived experience with disability, this doesn’t account for every type of condition or all the ways that different disabilities affect so many of us. Two people with the same condition can have quite a different lived experience, and even the condition itself can vary significantly. So what I mean to say here, loves, is that if you have a differing opinion, or there’s something I’ve missed, or you’d just like to add your thoughts - please do just that!
I welcome hearing from all of you about how you relate to the game through your own lived experiences, and what the characters can mean to you. Representation isn’t always clear, but honestly I think when we look closer we can see parts of all kinds of experiences reflected through the characters and story.
So, what I intend to do is create a series of essays, looking in depth at the potential parallels we can see in each of the main companions that I’m most familiar with (unfortunately I don’t know Minthara well enough to include her in this, but I would welcome input from others!) and then perhaps some of the other characters. (Edit - all pieces completed for now, next year I may add more!)
These pieces are not meant to be diagnostic in any way, or claiming “this character has this illness”, but instead is a look at how the characters and their stories and details can be similar to real world disability and health, and how different people might find ways to relate to their experiences through this.
Links to the Disability Discussion Posts
Karlach - Terminal Illness (Completed)
Wyll - Sudden Physical Change (Traumatic Incident) (Completed)
Gale - Chronic Illness, Autism (Completed)
Astarion - Complex Needs, Specialised Diets, and Addiction (Completed)
Lae’zel - Ableism, Eugenics, and More Neurodiversity (Completed)
Shadowheart - Memory Difficulties, Depression, Fluctuating Chronic Pain (Completed)
Halsin - Carer Fatigue and The End Of The Path Of Healing (Completed)
Gortash - Invisible Disability and Visible Mobility Aids (Completed)
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I'm not sure how quickly I'll get through posting these as I'm having a tough time with my own physical health right now - isn't that ironic? - but I do intend to get through at least this list by the end of July in between fic writing and other projects.
If you would like to suggest other characters, storylines, or disability related topics in BG3 please let me know! I'd love to hear how you all relate to the game and the characters from these angles too, and I might be willing to add things to this list if I can.
Lia's Disability Experience
As a little peek behind the curtain (and for full disclosure that I'm not an abled person here to talk over disabled experiences) without giving you too much of myself on the single plate, my lived experience is with an unpredictable chronic pain condition as well as a few other chronic illnesses and disability issues. I'm a wheelchair user, partially ambulatory (essentially I can shamble around in my home with assistance but outside the house I rely on my wheels), and my most prevalent symptom is constant pain.
I have made vague references to these things in a few works and the experience does provide me with some fic inspiration for a couple of works. I'm far too familiar with Loviatar's embrace, but I feel this is something that can be used to my advantage at times like these where I can examine the characters and storylines from angles that abled people might not consider.
Your Input!
I really would love to hear from all of you - what other characters do you feel reflect some of the lived experiences of disabled people? Are there any that you connected to? Did you find the game was accessible for you to play as a disabled person? What do you wish you saw more of in the game or in games in general?
This month really is an important one for awareness and understanding, as well as finding things in ourselves to be proud of that don't fall into the categories of "inspiration porn" or the kinds of internalised ableism that can drive some of us to push too hard to work against our conditions instead of with and around them leading to more issues.
Remember - The Disabled Community is the one minority that anyone could become a part of at any time. Advocating for our rights could also be advocating for your own future or that of a loved one.
Small addition, even though he's not a companion: I'll never stop lauding this post about Doni and autism by @elceewunjo. In my recent replay, I was able to read his thoughts to learn about his sensory sensitivity and I felt so seen.
Thank you so much @burnt-by-marigolds for the tag 🩶 Always up to yap about music indeed :3
Tagging in turn @ranger-jahen, @litsenn, @spillingteanotpermitted and @missfortunetherogue (if you've done it already please drop me a link, I always want more music :3 or feel free to do it a second time xD)
Tried to 1)keep out my writing music out of this and 2)display the eclecticism of what I like ot listen to ^^ But three songs isn't a lot, to do that hahaha (I cheated anyway, and did albums instead if songs, cause that's just how I work, I listen to albums 🤭 unless a specific song scratches my brain the right way and I end up looping it)
Seelie - CLANN
Yes, technically I've already yapped about that one when I posted my drawing of Storm and Natavriel cuddling, because the lyrics I posted with it are from the last title of this album, "I Hold You". But I feel like CLANN is criminally underrated haha, so I had to yap again. I've been relistening to this album a lot lately (mostly because of Natavriel being on my mind 24/7 ^^, their signature song is also a CLANN song titled "Arise" lol), it's a timeless favourite of mine :3
I think their other album "Kin Fables" might be my favourite, but "Seelie" is the one I've been listening to lately.
If you're up for slightly weird and evocative faerie vibed music, this is it (I mean, the album is called Seelie, you know what you're in for)
A Frame of Mind - Kalandra
Another favourite of mine that I'm always listening to. It has never really left me since it came out 2 years ago and it turned a band that I just liked into one of my fav recent groups :3
This whole album is a story, one about healing from generational trauma and finding your place in the world, and I love it with all my heart :3
The Wow! Signal - Muse
Aha finally something a lot more people will know xDD Muse is my nostalgia group, having been with me throughout my teens, and being my first phsical music purchase when I was younger. And since they released their new album recently, I've been playing it almost daily haha
Not my favourtie of theirs, but I still like it a lot :3
It was so hard to choose from my "recently listened to" list xDD I realise that the amount of music I consume daily is pretty insane when doing games like this ^^ I could do this game at least three more times with things I've listened to over the past two weeks lmao
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(Still working through tags after my many absences this year. I swear I'm not intentionally dissing anyone, I'm just a disorganized slowpoke. Pls don't stop tagging me <3)
Here's something from ages ago, like literally last year, by @onlytavs 🥰 Read about their character Data here! (Thank you and apologies for my tardiness!)
I'm so late everyone has probably done this already, but on the other hand it's been so long you might be up for another round? 😅 So, the gentlest of tags for @lutethebodies, @blackwelliath, @kcwriter-blog, @ignistigator and @ranger-jahen. Feel free to ignore or send a link to your old posts. Anyone else interested is of course very welcome to participate as well!
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⏱ ɃȺSƗȻS
Name: Esperani Starflower
Alias: Rani, The Starflower, Daoin Ath Tel' Vandor ("The Star in the Forest"), A'mael ("Beloved", by Gale), That Insufferable Self-righteous Tree-hugger (mostly by Astarion and Lae'zel, but I'm sure by many others as well)
Background: Folk hero
Gender: female
Sexuality: bisexual
Pronouns: she/her
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⏱ ØŦĦɆɌ
Family:
She grew up with her parents and sister - all of whom she's still close with, especially her sister Rhenna.
Growing up in a small rural village also means having a tight-knit community where everyone knows everyone and always looks out for one another - for better and for worse. While of course closest to her immediate relatives, Rani is familiar with almost everyone in the village and considers many of them family in one way or other.
There are also the wolf, Crow's Eye, and his family.
He's not a true ranger's companion as he doesn't follow Rani on her journeys - she is very protective of them all and prefers them to stay in their territory - but he considers her Pack and she tries to go see them whenever she is home.
Birthplace:
Wyckhollow, a small wood elf settlement and druid circle in south-western High Forest. Rani's sister, mother, and grandmother are all druids.
When she was around 10 the family moved to the larger village of Mullholm right on the outskirts of the Forest. It is a hybrid village with the northern part firmly inside the forest and consisting mostly of wood elves and wood elf buildings - while the southern part is outside the forest and has a population of mostly humans and dwarves.
Both places are dear to her, especially Wyckhollow. No matter how far away her journeys take her, she makes sure to return regularly to check in with both the people, the wolves, and the Forest itself.
Job:
For most of her life, she's lived off the land. Hunting, fishing, farming, trading with other villages etc.
It was sort of expected she'd follow in her mother and grandmother's footsteps and become a druid as well, but unfortunately, she's not much of a magician... Instead, her love for roaming the forest and natural ability to speak with animals (the one magical thing about her) led her to pursue the path of the ranger.
It wasn't until she left High Forest she got actual employment in the true sense of the word. For the past half-century she's been doing a lot of odd jobs and adventures. Usually as some kind of wilderness guide, hunter, or tracker, but not always. She stayed in Secomber for a few years working in a tavern (not fun) and even had a stint with a circus doing trick archery and trick riding (very fun!)
Phobias/Fears:
Quite claustrophobic.
Puts a lot of self-worth in being The One Who Fixes Things which leads to a lot of struggles with fear of not being enough. Like what if she can't fix this? If she can't save everyone? What good is a ranger if they get lost in the woods?
Hobbies:
Everything to with animals and their care and training.
Dancing, and anything that lets her move her body.
Reading, especially trashy romance novels (she used to sort of hide it from Gale in fear he'd mock her - and he absolutely did - but truth is he likes them too. It's a mutual guilty pleasure.)
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⏱ MØɌȺŁS
Alignment:
Neutral good, mostly
Flaws:
Prideful. Stubborn as a dwarf, and holds grudges like one... Can be overly reckless. Quite the saviour complex going on.
Virtues:
Incredibly brave. Loyal. Curious. Caring and protective by nature.
Good in a crisis (she saves the falling apart for after)
