sayonara

“I used to think that I could never lose anyone if I photographed them enough. In fact, my pictures show me how much I’ve lost.”

“I see the sun, and if I don’t see the sun, I know it’s there. And there’s a whole life in that, in knowing that the sun is there.”

““We don’t have a word for the opposite of loneliness, but if we did, I could say that’s what I want in life…It’s not quite loving, and it’s not quite a community; it’s this feeling that there are people, an abundance of people, who are in this together. Who are on your team. When the check is paid, and you stay at the table. When it’s four a.m., and no one goes to bed. That night with the guitar. That night we can’t remember. That time we did, we went, we saw, we laughed, we felt.””

“How strange it is. We have these deep terrible lingering fears about ourselves and the people we love. Yet we walk around, talk to people, eat and drink. We manage to function. The feelings are deep and real. Shouldn’t they paralyze us? How is it we can survive them, at least for a little while? We drive a car, we teach a class. How is it no one sees how deeply afraid we were, last night, this morning? Is it something we all hide from each other, by mutual consent? Or do we share the same secret without knowing it? Wear the same disguise?”

the things that hurt you do not deserve to hold your hand. pain may be familiar, but it is not a friend.