But do try to outrun it.

marrow

Unserious beast

oh??? on you??? like this is some massive expense on your part? flipping the "hasnitro:false" bit on my account? truly the servertime and bandwidth for such a process has to be immense. you're barely profiting from this interaction as it is and here you are, being so kind as to do it for half price? how will you feed your children, discord?

I'm a bit of a hypochondriac and every time i'm sick or feel a little weird or any of a thousand things happen i become terrifyingly convinced i'm going to die in my sleep and my entire life has been built around that sense of impending finality, even before getting to the suicidal ideation since childhood component. That said, the fact that it happened so often meant people would get annoyed with me when i expressed that fear, including my parents, and i eventually learned that avoiding annoying people was more important then telling them i thought something was so wrong with me that i might die before sunrise. The fears of an anxious girl aren't worth a hospital trip, not unless bone is visible outside the skin. So, ever since i was a kid, instead of telling people when i was worried i was in bad enough condition i could die, i would leave notes hidden in my room for in case i died in my sleep. i would do it every time i was scared that i might. I left them constantly, replacing old one with new ones and scrapping the former. When i got older i started replacing the notes with scheduled emails, set to go out a few days later, and then i would fill my calendar with reminders to delete those emails if i survived the night because i was also terrified that i would send one accidentally. I started doing this when i was 8. I stopped doing this about six months ago. Letting my anxiety be visible to others is a skill i am just learning now, at 27.