5 ibuprofen and a shovel in the backyard

COMMISSION SHEET

--- QUICK SILLIES TIER --- 10€

However, I decide if it's funny or not. I'm down to a lot of buffoonery and meme redraws just for my own enjoyment. You obviously get bonus points for media I enjoy OR you have to explain why it's funny.

Color and quality depends fully on what you provide as a base (e.g. text post or image paint-over).

--- CLEAN ICONS AND STICKERS --- 30€

One character, minimal color and shading, high contrast, one prop max.

Give me a heads up if you need it square/round/dark/light mode.

Yes, this matters to me as well. Can't have you run around color-uncoordinated..

--- MESSY COLOR --- 45€

Gamble tier. I like black and white better than colors. Are the vibes good and I get shading in? There you go, leave a tip or a smooch. Did you ask for more characters/a scene/wanted a part of it more detailed than the rest? Depends how much I can get in within time. Will be experimental.

--- PENCIL BUST --- 60€

One character, no sketch, only your pose + character reference and the Lord Emperor.

As detailed as it'd look good as. Shaded, but the light source is where the vibes are at and you will see all the hatching. (I personally think it's very sexy.)(obviously no floating heads, I need to update this image later, alright...)

--- SHIPPER AND YUME SPECIAL --- 70€

Two characters, high attention to expression and design details, simple background and minimal shading. Flats with vibes, but you get two humans.

Love requires mutual respect.

The better you prepare me with references for your characters/pose, moodboards for the vibes or little assets to copy and paste into the scene, the easier the piece is for me and the more I can do.

Shippers and me are like this 🤝. You guys hold a special place in my heart. Especially the gooners. I'll never betray you.

(thanks to my homegirl regular for allowing me to share these examples, because everything else I've recently been commissioned for was raunchy nasty smut, ong.)

--- FULL COLOR, MINIMAL SHADING, NO BACKGROUND --- 100€

Either a bust and light rendering + intricate props, or fullbody, barely any shading and less complicated props.

--- MINIMAL SHADING + BACKGROUND --- 200€

--- RENDERED CHARACTER + BACKGROUND or

TWO FULLY RENDERED CHARACTERS --- 300€

--- FULL RENDER + MULTIPLE CHARACTERS + COMPLICATED BACKGROUND ---

You. Me. DMs. I will do it, but I'll need all the details.

--- ANYTHING ELSE ---

Just ask, we will figure it out. Nothing is impossible. I just threw the examples I have laying around in here to give a comprehensive picture.

WHAT I WON'T DRAW: Racist, Bestiality or Lolicon shit.

What I will draw:

I don't mind cute girls doing cute things, but there are probably better artists for this type of stuff out there.

I specialize in stupid details, grim and grimey adults with wrinkles + trauma.

NSFW with hella fetishes, furries, gore, monsters, robots, gilfs, whatever - absolutely no problem. I have probably done it.

Anyways *excited clapping* my doom siblings, which I'd like to gatekeep, but that would be counterproductive...

"What's an idea, dynamic, or trope in your current work that feels naughty or self-indulgent?"

...I don't think I indulge, I torture (myself, my characters, the cast).

Naughty is:

mental/social manipulation (Pandora weaponizes affection as routinely as she deploys charm; Arete hides behind a crude medic persona while calculating three moves ahead at all times)

praise/hierarchy play used in a sexual context but to achieve political goals (who holds power in the bedroom versus who holds it in the council chamber; they're very often different people)

mate poaching and alliance blocking (Pandora's courtship situations are a threat to EVERYONE, even Arete catches strays 🫠)

personal degradation through disrespect of social norms/dogma (Arete's very existence threatens the Imperium's order; Pandora treats tradition as a costume she can remove)

inappropriate use of vented trauma (using someone else's breakdown as foreground for your own gratification OR to disappear every pair of unloyal ears+eyes on the vessel :)

Okay maybe one indulgence:

- conditioning/training through conscious use of partner's physical/emotional vulnerability (we need to get these cowardly in-game relationship quests tO GET TO WORK and undo some of these awful habits; at least ATTEMPT)

...Yes that's how this bit starts... LOOK, none of these people are normal, why would I try to be—

"Is your OC a virgin, blushing maiden, or sexual fiend? or aro/ace? or something in between?"

Arete: Purposely avoided men in the Penal Legion because they're not worth the risk. So full sesbian lex on a casual/quickie basis, because you'd have to be a fool to expect something long-term from folk that are regularly used to trigger mines or get rid of barbed wire. Low libido and extreme need for trust, so ace in theory, but she scams her own need for romance with random sexual encounters (there are standards, however: Jocasta is getting punched in the face for even looking in the same direction... lazy ass nepobaby tyrant. That's all). They maintain a stone-top researcher's façade which actually covers up a wet mush of nerves and near-endless dacryphilia supply. If somebody in the retinue didn't hate their life enough, then they should publicly mention any sensitivity Arete has ever allowed to show.

Gender: does it even matter? (afab)

Sexuality: whoever has a good stable head on their shoulders (this requirement will be a problem I fear).

The only sexual deviancy that happens is because of her indifference to a) societal norms and b) lacking physical boundaries as a chirurgeon/battlefield medic.

Pandora: Proactive. Feminine even when she wants to represent raw authority (She would deem her gender identity a waste of time to discuss, so we shall do the same. Whatever is the hottest). Bi/pan with a subconscious preference for women; had more public relationships with men before realizing she wasn't performing comphet anymore. Versatile in every sense of the word; whatever position/kink/role her partner prefers most, that's what she'll supply (unless they're a useless bottom; I don't recommend that level of vulnerability). Extreme flirt and exceptionally good at it. Noble courting, super attentive to minor behavior/mood changes, shared quality time, fake PDA (no one needs to know who she's granting non-regular time)— whatever is required. Her borderline anxiety makes her crave validation constantly, so intimacy becomes both her reward system and her punishment for others.

"What's your OC's "I shouldn't be turned on by this" trigger?"

*licks finger before skimming through my notes*

First and foremost: drug/aphrodisiac use. Generally a shit thing to dabble in, but cruising with strangers noncommittal-style can be flushed down easier when you're drunk at least! Now it gets worse if their repetitive partner enjoys some actual trust, because watching people open up, show some well-respected tolerance to the lower decks and their rotgut is genuinely entertaining/disarming (especially on dogmatic types. There was an actual personality hidden in there? Crazy. Whatever...). So why stop someone who continues the fun train? And Arete metabolizes it at an inhuman rate anyways...— ah fuck, there go the well-contained emotions. Was all fine and dandy until they crossed every threshold again.

Thematic cluster: submission (nobody deserves such responsibility over her highly protected and maintained body), bondage/physical restriction (NO sense deprivation; that's spouse privilege IF EVER, a hypothetical that won't happen! *nervous chuckle*), getting face-fucked (Being used as a toy?? The brain is in there and super important... being unable to voice disapproval? And the worst part of it all: you're restricting air access to someone with already awful lungs? Entire list worth of reasons why it should never happen.), institutional roleplay (gross... how did we go lower while already at the lowest?...), you get the picture.

Pandora: Sex. As a whole. Hypersexual because of... *sighs* methods and allegiances that were too good to pass by as a young planetary governess especially without any remaining !useful! family members to support her through the hardships. Knife-play, blood, corruption, degrading partners bluntly, spitting, public poly relationships— let's just say anything an exemplary dogmatic Rogue Trader should definitely NOT do. *coughs* Add a xenofetish to that. *coughs* Her abandonment anxiety means every encounter feels like either proof she's wanted or evidence she'll be discarded, so she tests both extremes. (Obviously not a sentiment shared by anyone in the retinue, hmm.... everyone is sooo normal.)

"What's your OC's hard NO?"

Arete: Anything related to receiving/giving pain (Marazhai is vibrating in "ohhh a mon'keigh that can withstand anything I inflict on them, but has also been granted some of the knowledge of Commorragh's finest artists..." yeah no, he's only getting his head smashed in non-erotically at best because of all the body horror and dissociation Arete need to cope with post Dark City).

Plain unhygienic stuff; not on a germaphobe/OCD level, but you hear enough about infection risks, which bad habits lead to excessive scarring, etc. on an everyday basis already.

Mentioned before: sense deprivation without unyielding trust. You're just asking for a fight. Generally anything without explicit consent, including hugging and touching platonically. Only Idira gets those privileges. Cassia and Pandora on a good day or with sufficient hints before it happens.

Pandora: Anything food/drug/alcohol related. She has extreme rules for what enters her mouth that isn't another person. While Arete does their best to keep themselves shut during intimacy (and fails over time, if it provides another outlet with which they could analyse/discuss their surroundings better) Pandora is INCREDIBLY firm regarding any inappropriate topics that don't exclusively grant her additional information. PDA that ruins her chances with other people... Jae uh... regrets having a favoritism toward beautiful powerful women real quick.

"What is the most debauched VP/Art you have ever created?"

Of my little guys? ...I shall post it, if I'm happy enough with the writing stage to progress onto drawing.

Most else is work other people have commissioned.

Do you have any crazy projects for the future?

Lore shit: there are too many retinue members Rogue Trader Pandora is fucking (or would)......................especially Jae..........., Cassia courting, professional knife-play lessons with Kibellah, LITERALLY every single companion but Ulfar/Abelard/Yrliet/Pasqal/Eogunn has potential encounters in a cupboard I'm too scared to have the sun shed light on.

Outside of OC lore (aka Arete because I need to drag them by the cranium to get naked... 😮‍💨):

THIS ONE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE LORE IF I'M ENOUGH OF A VILLAIN TO WRITE THE SHIT THAT LED UP TO IT... (enough of a villain, sure. Good/committed enough... not sure.)

So... hypothetically what if Solomorne succumbed to his nightmare insomnia madness for too long *coughs* definitely not caused by anyone else *coughs* to require an emergency feeding of not his own benzos+beta blockers+antidepressants to not kill anyone in this corridor and most importantly himself... ha ha... anyways there was only one bed (at least after Arete has been pushed to the brink of her own exhaustion by having to handle someone elses PTSD for once)...

Bottom Heinrix one-page comic feat. mirrors just bc I want to harass him. [My guy also goes through a lot of shit because he's willingly trying to report on both siblings, but not man enough to be able to deconstruct either...]

TWO CONNECTED AND MULTI-PAGE PASQAL COMICS— now this is self-indulgent and based on gooner out of character shit (absolutely FUCKALL would happen between these autists!) surgeries, research fetish, inappropriate use of mechadendrites, input override and disgusting true flesh worship booooo.

There is a lot. It's a lot. I grieve every single day I'm forced to live and be aware that there is no romance for him.