1980s Suggestions

stand in front of a tank

only listen to cassingles

wear only muscle shirts because sleeves are for wimps

tie a sweater around your shoulders

take your cantaloupe on a retreat to john cougar’s melon camp

slap some sunglasses on a dead body, prop it up in a chair, and pass it off as alive

wear shoulderpads wide enough to knock the ray-bans off anyone who comes within three feet of you

save the president from ninjas

rock some parachute pants and an immaculate hi-top fade

make a far-fetched science-fiction movie about how america has become a dystopia in 2019

acquire a delorean, and drive it from time to time

make He-Man and She-Ra kiss

love the alien

listen to mick jagger music and bad-mouth your country

hit on absolutely everyone backstage at live aid because you are freddie mercury

do some leg-lifts while jane fonda does some leg-lifts