Splort

!!MILD SILKSONG SPOILER!!

I was checking out some guy at work who was buying 2 cans of cat food and i asked "oh do you have a cat? :D" and he paused for a second and responded completely deadpan "yes, I've 35".

I was watching columbo with some friends and the murderer was lowkey my favourite character, he was so sassy. While he was getting an alibi by being kicked out of a bar he threw the money at the bartenter and went "hEre, ya can buy ya self a peRsonALitY", and when he rammed into a couples car to fight with them abt insurance, the woman said "you need to calm down" and he snapped back "AnD yOu need pLastiC surgEry"

My brain is so cruel sometimes, i meant to charge my earbuds before going to bed but instead i DREAMT that i had charged them, and so i left the house the next morning believing they were fully charged and only realised what had happened when i tried to turn them on and they were dead