you are more than a machine

"I have taken a look inside and I've asked myself, 'what's going on in there?' And you know, I realized a lot of it goes back to my mum."

"The fact that you see good in me makes me believe that there might just be some in there."

“s/he's here again. s/he was watching me.” “try and get back to sleep before (name) finds you in my bed.” “what are you doing out of bed, little girl/boy?” “s/he sleepwalks sometimes since our parents died.” “you're a good boy/girl for taking such care of your sister/brother/sibling.” “that must have been quite some dream.” “i almost shit my goddamn pants.” “if i knew you were gonna be screaming in your sleep, i would've left you at the side of the road.” “you know, one might have nightmares heading back into that shithole town.” “hey, why don't you just take a seat and leave the poor kid alone, huh, (name)?” “ten bucks says you can't shoot that off from here.” “twenty says i can knock the bottle without even looking.” “you snooze, you lose- it's (sender's name)'s sandwich now.” “i heard that you shot your partner in the ass during training.” “heard that your daddy, some big shot on the force, had to bail you out.” “what's the 'S' stand for? stupid?” “sooner they shut this whole town down, the better, as far as i'm concerned.” “we're nice people once you get to know us.” “s/he's only got eyes for the big fella, and I don't fancy your chances against him.” “you really shoot your own partner?” “still pining after (name), i see.” “never gonna happen, bro.” “i see you wax your chest now.” “after you ran away, (name) was the closest thing i had to family.” they raised me, put me through school, the academy-- they were there for me.” “where were you? i haven't even heard from you in five years.” “they've been trying to contain that shit, but the genie is out of the bottle now, and i don't think it's going back in.” “what kind of person can pick a lock like that?” “it's kind of impressive, but also, what the fuck?” “i'd never let anything hurt you.” “lock-pick the door behind you when you leave-- and don't touch the bike!” “what would the worst way to die be? to be swallowed whole by a snake or eaten alive by a great white shark?” “you're a freak, (name).” “i plan on dying peacefully in bed, snuggled in (name)'s big burly arms. “you said 'everyone into the briefing room,' so- here i am.” “i didn't mean you, you moron. not you, (name), everyone else. “what if someone wanders in and there's no-one behind the front desk? an old lady's looking for her cat or something.” “i'm sorry, (name), is that important? a new girlfriend?” “maybe you could take her out to eat at Planet Hollywood.” “they have a new one in Gatlin- oh, they got a great salad. little wine.” “maybe just take her back to your apartment, rent a movie at Blockbuster, get cozy on the couch, or put on some Journey.” “Steve Perry's voice, what it does to a woman's heart, huh? am i right?” “sounds like i might be getting laid.” “leaving, that's what they want. so they can destroy my life's work.” “it's okay, little girl/boy, because we've found you a new family.” “don't worry about your brother/sister, s/he'll be coming along as well, in due course.” “we would never separate the two of you.” “who are you gonna call? you're the police.” “i'm no medical expert, but i think that guy might just be beyond saving.” “congratulations, rookie, on the promotion.” “i'm sure your father would be incredibly proud that his pathetic specimen of a child is rising so quickly through the ranks.” “someone should confiscate that.” “the faster we find them, the faster we can get the fuck out of here.” “so you're (name)'s little sister/brother, huh? i didn't think the two of you spoke.” “my parents died in a car accident when i was eight.” “my brother and i grew up in an orphanage here.” “i ran away a long time ago.” “i had to learn to handle myself quickly.” “you're probably wondering what a guy like me is doing as a cop, right?” “oh yeah, no, he's fucking fine, yeah. who doesn't cough up a little blood on the floor when they're feeling sick? just a little cold.” “of course he's not fucking okay, man, look at him.” “you're no einstein, are you, buddy?” “get your shit together, or you're not gonna make it through the night.” “i just really want to get out of this town.” “i don't know who they are. i don't know, and i don't care.” “they're just some people with a vested interest in getting hold of whatever dirty secrets Umbrella are keeping down there and exposing them.” “come on, (name). don't look at me like that. it's just money, alright? and they have plenty of it.” “it was just a way of getting out of this . . . small town, dead-end life.” “you were just gonna leave us?” “we have to find (name 1) and (name 2) and tell them (name 3) is dead.” “come on, these are your friends!” “they bought you off, didn't they? they paid you to keep quiet about all the shit they were doing in here.” “now they've left you to rot in the gutter like the rest of us.” “don't be so damn naïve.” “you got some weird friends.” “(name 1) betrayed us, (name 2). s/he was gonna leave us here to die.” “we have to follow him/her, 'cause i think it's our only way out of here.” “this is my life's work. i'm not giving it to anybody.” “i'm not really offering you a choice here, pal.” “you didn't have to make it like this.” “what the hell is wrong with you?” “this is so fucked.” “jesus, (name), you and that fucking gun.” “i wouldn't have pulled the trigger, kid.” “did you really believe you could be part of my family?” “oh, such a sweet little soldier. such a loyal drone.” “how could you be so dumb when your sister/brother's so smart?” “i almost feel sad having to kill you. almost.” “i should have taken you and your sister/brother down to the lab. you would have made excellent specimens.” [ to an attacker ] “get. the fuck. away. from my brother/sister.” “this is really nice, but i think i broke some ribs.” “we got to get the fuck out of here, Umbrella is gonna level this place.” “trust me, i'm as surprised as you are, buddy.” “i should've listened to you a long time ago.” “i may have scratched the paint on your bike.” [ to a monster ] “hey! you ugly fuck!” “a rocket launcher? Found it in first class.” “i don't understand, i thought i was dead.” “what happened to my eyes? i can't see.” “it's a side effect, one of the things we had to do to bring you back. there will be others.”

right-hand side: same oc, but in the owl house style.

“joke's on them, haha! all we have inside is circuitry and tears.” “that one has a gyroscopic rotor! keeps us from falling over all the time. mine's been missing for years!” “that claptrap died trying to slide across a car hood. didn't know you could screw that up so bad!” “someone hung up that claptrap and repurposed him as a loudspeaker! barbaric! WE ARE NOT LOUDSPEAKERS!” “my friend's gonna throw the bumpingest parties, and now EVERYONE'S gonna show up!” “finally, i'll have someone to talk to who understands what i'm saying!” “that claptrap died fighting our greatest enemy: stairs!” “looks like he was testing an experimental stair-climbing module. ohhh, i see the problem. he didn't turn it on!” “look at THIS lazy bum!” “yes! that claptrap has a functioning eye! my friend will be SO happy! this universe does not fare well for eyeless robots.” “someone used that claptrap to jumpstart a generator! what could he have that would produce that kind of power?!” “a library of every dubstep song in the entire universe?! but-- they told me there was only one! the wub-wub one!” “when they say it's good to have friends in high places, i'm not sure this is what they were talking about.” “now someone can listen to my podcast besides me! my audience just doubled! oh, mattress advertisers? i'm waaaaaaiting!” “hey! rough night? ha! . . . yeah, i know s/he's dead. let me have this!” “guy must have been expecting some action! he was packing a serious firewall. smart move- you never know what kinda nasty networks someone's been interfacing with. knew a guy who dated a tediore shotgun, and his wheel rotted right off his axle!” “another claptrap, ground beneath the crushing wheels of industry, its back broken as it holds the weight of the world upon its shoulders. ---ooh, what can we steal from it?” “died tickling the old ivories! you wouldn't think our clamps are suited to the piano. and they aren't!” “that guy's got a synthedope harmonizing module! sounds like someone won't have an excuse to miss karaoke night this time! “hahahahahaha-- look at this freaking nerd! haha! he read a book so hard, he died! ahahahaha! what a freaking nerd! ha!” “oh good, a poetry module. that makes me feel . . . good!” “this guy tried to interface with a generator! classic rookie mistake. i mean, heh- we ALL wanna get with a generator. just gotta be smart about it!” “it turns out you CAN synthesize love, with a standard-issue love module! i may not pass the Turing test, but you better believe i pass the Alluring test!” “hah! he got stuck! must have been that big ol' rump!” “yeah! my new friend is gonna have some 'thicc' rear paneling! if you want that looty, you better have an armored booty! ... that's, uh- that was- that was thick with two 'c's, by the way.” “i didn't know claptraps could drown! now i have an entirely new set of fears! thanks!” “with that new paint job, no one will confuse my friend for me! friend or not, no one steals my spotlight and lives to tell the tale! NO ONE!” “junked! in the prime of his/her life!” “it's not often you see a claptrap hair unit. i haven't seen one since my mohawk on liar's berg. yeah, i was pretty punk rock back then.” “whoa, looks like SOMEONE was a chewtoy for a saurian! i get it, we're delicious.” “with that ultra-premium grade multitasking personality modifier, my new best friend will be able to cower and grandstand at the same time!” “someone pushed that guy out of his wheelchair! who does that?!” “you know what they say: 'when the almighty robot policeman closes a door, just open that thing back up!'” “looks like this guy survived a ship crash, only to die in a swamp! sometimes, inside a silver lining is another lining made of swamp poop.” “oh, that's a cl4p-tp hard disk slot. perfect! that'll help my new friend store all her new memories of spending time only with me.” “look at this spore-head! out of his mind on spores! this is what happens when we don't educate our claptraps.” “that's an extended long-term memory enhancement chip! that's super helpful, because our short-term memories are horrible! who are you again? oh, hey! an extended long-term memory enhancement chip!” “someone was dismantling this claptrap for parts! well, one person's robocide is our windfall!” “looks like this guy had it all figured out! interfaced himself to death in a porn cave. we should all be so lucky.” “that's a rugged vzk all-terrain package! it's like four-wheel drive, but in a single wheel! that's just math.” “whoever stuffed this guy into a tire must have hated claptraps. so we've narrowed the suspect list down to ... all of pandora.” “with that wheel, my new friend will be able to dance like a graceful gazelle, if gazelles walked on a single wheel.” “it's a mercenary day miracle! except for that guy.” “with those RGB LEDs, my friend will finally be as beautiful on the outside as i am on the inside!” “oh, he was SO CLOSE to that gas can when he ran out of gas. that's so poignant! weird word. poignant. /poignant/.” “oh, look! that claptrap unit was using his reinforced hand clamps to save that other claptrap unit! how heroic!” “'nooooo!' is what i'd be saying if i didn't super-need those hand clamps! suckers! with that pristine set of cl4-mp hand units, my friend and i can hold hands as we frolic through the meadows and wildflowers and stuff!” “looks like that guy died of excitement! listen up, kids. sometimes thrills . . . can KILLS.” “a functioning pair of cl-class arm units? maybe i'll finally know what a hug feels like.” “awww, the psychos must have adopted that dead claptrap as one of their own. that's- i was gonna say touching, but honestly kinda creepy.” “an adorable heart accessory! no idea what that does, but you can't argue with accessories!” “that's one of the exploratory claptraps sent out to find alien worlds! it found nekrotafeyo on its own! and then got eaten by a plant. circle of life, baby!” “the series-4 vernaculon spectral vocalizer allows for all sorts of figurative language! it's like a spice rack for the speech center!” “rocket safety, people, i can't stress this enough. those things'll crush you!” “ah, a volume control knob. a small but very important upgrade. because who doesn't like TO YELL SOMETIMES?!” “i mean ... guy's on fire.” “oh good, you found some heat vents! that'll be vital for my friend, because we claptraps run hot! reaaaal hot.” “drowned in an alien sea! what voidic mysteries were his final sights? what dark songs of the deep his dirge?” “standard claptrap arms only have thirty-five degrees of movement- not NEARLY enough for high fives! but with this fancy rotator module, we can slap clamp all day long!” “how'd this guy even get here? maybe this place works differently with space... and time!” “oh great! a functioning sarcasm module. i'm just /so happy/ my friend will know when's an appropriate time to use the /all-important/ social tool that is sarcasm!”

" just casually spills all your shit." "your hair is autumn, you bleed pumpkin spice." "i can’t believe you're sexually attracted to plankton." "i'm an adult, i'm the oldest person in this house.” "---yeah, you're a dinosaur.” "don't make me shake my fist at you!" "oH NO, IT WAS MORE EFFECTIVE THAN I THOUGHT!” "you wound me right in the baratiddies." "you can't threaten me, i'm not looking!" "oh no, it's jammed --- and peanut buttered!" "they know how to get to his/her heart and his/her pants." "try and keep a low profile now that you've, like-- murdered a bunch of people while protecting my food." "is that a knife in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" "I DONT CONTROL THE DICE." “i dO N' T CO N TR OL TH E E G G S.” "gIVE ME THE CLUES, BITCH." "(name), GET OUT OF MY ASS!” "don't you face at me in that tone of voice." "joey mac/(name) has a jawline for days that could cut glass." "i got possessed by (name) because i saw (name) and went ‘oh that’s a dADDY’." "don't grow up, guys, don't do it, it's not worth it.” "i don't have college, i have depression!!" "bandit and cinders snatched my heart, odd snatched my uwus, aND YELLOW AND RIVER SNATCHED MY ASS, CAN I GET AN AMEN--" "who needs pants when you're drunk as a skunk?" "cause of death: pussy." "does 'sharkboy and lavagirl' exist in the twilight universe, and if so, does everyone just look from sharkboy to jacob and just be like ‘bruh what the fuck’?” "dID YOU DRAW A D I C K ON YOUR PASTRY--" "we all need a lap to sit on, and a shoulder to cry on." "i read the second one as 'i don't steal sluts'.” "no-one's dead, nothing broke, iT'S F I NE!” "IT'S OVER ANAKIN, I HAVE THE THIGH GROUND.” “give a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.” "if you're not at least a lil’ bit gay for your friends when they get a haircut, are you really friends, though?" "that shit hURTED." "this is harder than my dick!” "songs that get white people - and (name) - turnt." "technically speaking, another term for 'sugar daddy' could be 'glucose father'.” "it's not that your mom doesn't love you, it's just that she's kind of a bitch.” "i don't like that my first thought upon pulling these dayquil pills out of the package was just 'ah yes, big and juicy'.” ". . . i heard 'big and goosey'.” "the hills are not alive with the sound of music, they're dead with the sound of me wheezing while walking uphill in the cold.” "i would've kissed bill directly on his eye mouth thing.” "hate is a special kind of love you give to people who suck.” "make sure you hang up your stocking so cupid can leave heart-shaped candy and pieces of cardstock with pictures of Cars 2(TM) characters.” "the joke flew over his/her head just like everything else because s/he's tiny." "i've had this poster for like, sixteen years--" "that's longer than i've been mentally stable." "sir, are you aware that you're a rat?" "aladdin is the real tiger king." "(name), i am begging you, you dumb fuck---" “oh god, chucky’s indian--” "hard times for covo the clown, he's just on the corner selling face masks, balloons, and crack-- oh and meth." "it's fine to eat if you're nOT A COWARD-- SALMONELLA WHOMST?" "i just want to pee, you monster, leT ME PEE!!" "don't trash the highways, trash Canada instead." "it took me almost a year, but i now know (name)’s love for graham crackers and i can exploit it." "my words go fast to make up for the fact that my tiny legs cannot." “i hate how, in my head, it just sounded like hank hill was possessed or voiced by matthew mcconaughey.” "gross encounters of the third kind, if you will."