Berganti Hati
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation

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if i look back, i am lost
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Berganti Hati

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sometime having friends can be tired. the way the respond to the thing you wanted to share. making you doubting yourself, like you are even good person?
Maybe as life goes, people leave then you are a bad person. No question. That’s why, at the end of the day you live with your ownself.
Maybe, you are being a human with humane nature of being sensitive. Likewise, in a situation when they spoke about you but you just stay put & silent. No argument even start. but once you react back, suddenly you are the bad person.
I’m tired of wanting a good person. A good friend. hearts now not belong to generous people. people are so selfish. they always think about themselves. I have a feeling too, and they forget about it too often.
Days of missing you. remembering of the glimpse.
there are nights that i can’t stop thinking about you. knowing that there are so much i wanted to talk to you about but knowing from the start that it won’t happen. i always shrink and little besides you. too scare to let you near. coz i know the ending will be like. never wanted separation feeling like this, but there are so many cues from you telling me i rather off alone
I miss you. not in desperate way but i remembering way. why? i’ve been filling my days with tight schedule and task. but between the loop, i miss you. contrary, you supposed not to feel anything. you’re married now. you’d have a husband who will be there for you. you won’t feel any loneliness the way i felt it. you must be saying, that all things that had happen, is because of me. perhaps. i won’t deny it. i’m just a person. and this person is missing you.

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i dislike people to response to my overthinking post.
why do i feel that she’d been avoiding me?
I will keep this emptiness until the dead wrath. maybe i just born not to be with anyone
I’ve always pick up. Every time people needed me. But when i needed someone, there will be no one with me
Fit, it has been almost 3 months you left the company. 3 months since you feel your left hurt. You are better now. your face shine back. your mind at calm state. your emotion now at stable condition. Fit sayang, you started to draw back. you started to found your feet back. You started to be okay with yourself. You are away from people who used yo hurt you.
Though, the fear is still there. you start being so private. you don’t smile and talk the way you used to. you avoid to have connection with people. you become very passive in replying or being presence. again, you let people slip.
Fit, i know you’d missed how warm to be around friends. you are still there kan? i can still find you right? its okay fit. you aren’t stuck. you just in a pause mode. waiting for the time that you can bounce back.
Fit, not everyone will hurt you. though you wasted your trust to the wrong ones. Not everyone will take advantage on you. Not everyone will treat you bad the way they did. I know you are tired. Its okay Fit. You can’t seem to blend with the environment. Its okay.
Fit, you see. though it is hard in new environment, you can feel you release from a burden. from overly think. from sickness. from your financial problem. you are free from evil eyes. more calm. more relax.
Fit. give yourself sometime to heal okay. its okay fit. its always okay. I love you Fit :)

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i’m no longer wanna share my feeling. i’m hopeless with people faith in me. i’m just tired given in to satisfy other people. too tired to let them see my vulnerable but they just don’t care.
you think i will chase you? no i won’t. go. if that satisfy you
not forever people will be sad. not forever you are the main character. once i removed myself and you are no where to be seen, it easier to forget about you ☺️
everytime i want to text you, i remember what you did. i remember the feeling you’d have. i remember the pain that you don’t actually care
aku tak de tempat nak meluah. aku nak bercerita. tapi tak de orang nak dengar

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tak de orang ke Ya Allah. yang sedih bila aku pergi? tak de orang ke Ya Allah. yang akan cuba bagi aku rasa penting. Tak de orang ke Ya Allah. yang akan setia teman aku?
i know you are sad. but listen fit, she didn’t care. like alyaa. don’t put up with her nonchalant. sampai waktu, erase them all. once for all.