Just Ed

Hey guys is good to be back, I have so much stuff to tell you. I met the boys a few days ago, I mean the band, and they’re really cool guys. I mean, they were going to spill water on my face wile I was sleeping, but they though I was Harry so I spouse is ok. It feel weird knowing that Harry is my brother and that now this boys will be kinda like my family now, or at least that’s what Liam told me wile they were playing FIFA.  It is nice to know they are this open to me, I mean they don’t know who am I or who I was and still Harry said I’m good to trust and they believe him. Is weird, I had never had people that rusted in me this fast, I always had something to prove. In the orphan,  with my dad… With Marina.  Is weird to think about her this way, but I have to be realistic, is true.  I’m not even sure if she really liked me or if she was with me only because her parents didn’t wanted us to be together.  The only thing I’m sure of is how I feel about her… I mean, felt. How I felt about her. Felt… What ever, it doesn't matter anymore, I shouldn’t be thinking of her.  I wasn’t even talking about her at first place. So, forget about it…  The thing is that I had never be treated like this before, people thought of me the wrong way most of the time.  I know I should talk about it with Harry and explain some stuff, but I have to be honest, I’m scared.  Scared that he, Gemms or Anne will think bad of me, like every one else does.  Is not that I had done something really bad like killing someone or something like that. Is just that… I’m an orphan and a lot of things comes with that.  People talk, stories are made and people always make stuff bigger and worst.

So that's why I'm not telling Harry my hole story yet.  Not him,not Gemma, not even Anne. I don't want them to feel bad for me.  I'm not Harry,I'm not like him and I haven't had the life he had, the luck he had. I'm not complaining, but in some way I would love to had a life like his.  Last night I met Louis, Harry's best mate.  I really didn't get their relationship before I met them, but now I realize that I really would have loved to have a friend like him.  I never did, I was on my own most of the time and to see how Harry found Louis and how they are with each other... I mean, not the part were they act like a couple, that's just weird.  But the part where they act like brothers, like the ones in the movies and I always wanted that.  I can say I am kind of jealous of Harry in that part.  I mean, he have the hole family tree with him. He has two dads, a mom, a sister and not just one brother, no he has four. The ones that I would meet in a few days. Louis said that they would love me.  But I think he only likes me because I look just like Harry and that just kind of funny now. Don't know. Is weird the way he acted around us. It was like if it was a normal thing he do every day. But anyways, I just wanted to let you know that I met Louis and that I think he is quite weird, but cool. I really did like him, and I just hope he liked me too, I mean I'm his best mate twin... Now I have to wait to meet the other part of One Direction, and I am kind of exited.  Lest hope everything goes right. 

I'm really busy with Harry right now, I really am, but I will let you know everything. I will.

The link of the song.

Badman, The Dark Knight Rises!

                                    I've been thinking about my life  in the wrong way.  It had been two days since I talk to my dad ... (Well, don't know if I can keep telling him so.) Not sure if posting this here is a good idea. Although I sill don't know that, I know that writing is the best way to take out all that. It's amazing how for 18 years I have been thinking that I do not belong in another place other than my writing or my paintings, but now I think, and ... What if, I do belong in some place, some family. I had never care to live at the orphanage because I knew that my dad was not well after the death of my mother and he could not take care of me. I understood that while being so small, I only had 6 then. But now I hear that he's not my father, and that that woman that I've cried so much for so long, nor was my mother. No longer have to think, because I was afraid this would happen. And worst of all I knew it would happen. The coincidences were many. I have to admit that I do not regret the life I had, I had gone through many ups and downs, more lower than higher, but I had learned everything I know because of that. Now I only want to know the other side of the story. What was the thought of that family which I was separated and if they know that I even exist.