a soft-spoken idiot

I had a conversation with an alien/angel chimera whereby she selected me to offer an apology and explanation without the assumption of guilt for the current state of human affairs. To me, it was going well until I, without prudence, described God’s Goodwill as a dump with a store sticking out of its side. ** I’m seeing now I can ask AI to improve my post. I don’t like that. I have…

This is a collection of songs I wrote over the past few years. Enjoy!

Coronavirus Diary: Day… Days are meaningless now.

“One with the land”

  Today on a walk

in my new neighborhood

North Berkeley

At sixteen hundred hours and twenty minutes

I watched a group of young boys

age three to maybe eight

play a game of war with sticks.

  It was a kind of game I had played as a boy

and I’m sure every generation of boys before me did the same.

There was no anger or hurt feelings in the children,

they were smiling and having…

Coronavirus Lockdown Diary – Day 10

Today we topped the list of most confirmed infections.

We did it, guys!

We’re number one!!

Feels great. Feels… like I have fluid in my lungs.

  *

Be safe, all.

Coronavirus Lockdown Diary – Day 5

I’m so sick of beans…

  **

I’m going to be going live on Twitch playing some old songs and a few new

at 7:30 PM PST

https://www.twitch.tv/poetrobot

Coronavirus Lockdown Diary – Day 3

WE NEED MORE BEANS.

  These are the thoughts that repeat over and over

despite my girlfriend reminding me

we have a ten-pound bag of beans.

  But what if there are no more beans, sweetie?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

What if this is the end of beans?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

  I’ve touched my face nine hundred thousand times.

  In the name of conservation, I’ve eaten leftovers that will likely send me to…

Coronavirus Lockdown Diary – Day 1

Organized an online game night with some friends.

Caught up with some folks on the phone.

Tried to stay as calm and normal as possible.

  Later, my closest friends, my girlfriend and I will spend several hours

yelling at each other on Skype, accusing one another of being an alien

and trying to shoot people out of an airlock (“Push the Button” Jackbox 6)

digitally.

  My friend’s dad, who is a…

Now under coronavirus lockdown, Eric plays guitar so that he doesn’t have an existential crisis and hoard beans.

Hello Everyone!

Today was different for me.

The Bay Area has issued a shelter in place due to covid-19

So here’s something different for you!

I’ll be playing some old songs of mine live in the next few minutes

so if you’re reading this now,

come hang out!

https://www.twitch.tv/poetrobot

Strick66 asks a very good question.

Strick66 asks: “Where did you go? If I may ask.”

Good question, Strick.

TLDR answer: Taking care of my grandparents and generally trying to hide from America. (Not in a cool “Snowden” way, more of a “I HAS ANXIETY” kind of way.)

    The long answer:

For the past eight years I have been taking care of my grandparents. In the past few, it required a lot of my attention and energy.

Taking care of…

OK Boomer: The Game

Hello Friends!

I have some click-bait for you.

  https://poetrobot.itch.io/ok-boomer-the-game

  I made it myself

  As it turns out

studying poetry and creative writing in college

was not as lucrative as one would hope

and home-boy finds himself wishing he had “lurned 2 code.”

So here’s the first of hopefully many adventures in self-education

using the most basic technologies, an HTML “choose your…

“Oh my Christian God, I’ve got it!”

I’m illustrating an educational cartoon Just like the Isaac Newton apple/gravity fable Except instead of Newton It’s an ISIS child soldier, A drone strike replaces the apple & instead of the theory of gravity The baby embraces secular representative government & petrodollar based capitalism.

While it may seem like crooks run the world

a gentle stream of justice shall flow through Gotham

Once Batman gets a sweet, juicy tax cut;

because nothing deters crime

like blingier batarangs

& an increased susceptibility to medical bankruptcy.

Went on a job interview at a Zen monastery.

Didn’t have meditation experience

But according to my last three employers

I can sit around in a bathrobe with zero mental activity

like you wouldn’t believe.

Pimp your LinkedIn/This Picnic is Filth

I’m a volunteer

anonymous life-coach

  although I’d like to see myself

as the Gordon Ramsay

of volunteer anonymous life-coaches

  who works primarily with small children, the elderly

or any other park-goer off put by a clown

in full military camouflage

  & there are nine of us in the camouflage

  but I’m the Gordon Ramsay.

My, what big wrists you have

Bannon: The Trump Presidency we fought for is DEAD

***one day later***

Trump: Thank you for protesting bigotry and hate!

    It was then I felt

a great erection in the Universe

as if millions of haters cried out, “#WAR”

& were suddenly silenced by Facebook, Google, GoDaddy, Twitter, MSM, Muslims, Jews,  LGBTQs, Women, Latinos, Democrats, Republicans, Boston, The Pope, General Kelly, Heather Heyer…

You only feel bad if you can feel

Each year

more people die from suicide

than from all the world’s armed conflicts

  An issue America will undoubtedly solve

with increased military spending

while also continuing the harvest of occupied Afghanistan’s poppy supply

(they produce 90% of the world’s opium)

which will then be made into overpriced prescription pain killers

whose exorbitant costs will be subsidized

using the public’s…

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Democrats and Republicans set aside their differences & came together under one roof

& then, due to decades of neglectful infrastructure funding policy, erosion collapsed that roof?