ED Recovery Problems

Hi everyone,

This blog has been pretty quiet lately, and that’s on me. I’m at a point in recovery where I don’t want to focus on my ED as frequently, and am not in a place to continue giving advice. I’d love this blog to continue to be a resource for others, just with less involvement from me.

If you’re interested in being a moderator, please send a message (off anon) to this blog with your age and a bit about you and your recovery journey. I’ll respond with a few sample asks to see how you respond, and I’ll let New mods know by the end of the year.

Hope you’re all doing well!

The greatest thing about a therapist is, this is literally her job. She is here to help you, and will roll with the punches. You don’t need to “work up” to telling her about this; I’d highly suggest coming to your next session with some thoughts on your eating disorder and how you want help. I’ve literally written notes before therapy appointments before. The quicker you get this out in the open, the quicker you can start working on getting better.

I believe in you!

I've always had quite a few mental problems but it wasnt until recently that I allowed myself to recognize and be diagnosed with an eating disorder. Ive always known how unhealthy ,my eating habits and weight obsession were. Its been a slow process but I've been trying to be as proactive as possible. BUT I know of a friend (we no longer talk) who's had similar eating and mental habits as I, despite no longer being on friendly terms, should I warn her to look into the potential of a disorder?

First off, it’s wonderful you’re looking out for your friends and looking to help them! 

NEDA has some excellent resources on helping a loved one here: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/help/caregivers

And ANAD has an excellent, simple DO/DON’T list: http://www.anad.org/education-and-awareness/about-eating-disorders/how-to-help-a-loved-one/

Essentially, be there for the person and care for them, not the disorder. I hope this helps!

..if only it were that simple…

-2 by 'unhealthy' i mean pizza and kfc in the same weekend. i know this might sound stupid but i'm really anxious and i even considered canceling everything even though i was really excited to go this week..

It is more than okay to eat “unhealthy” food in recovery. Yes, balanced nutrition is important for everyone! But when you’re recovering, getting over these fears and challenging that negative self-talk, saying you “can’t” or “shouldn’t” eat these things is also incredibly important. It’s great that you’re working on it - keep up the great work!

I'm currently receiving treatment for atypical anorexia and I'm finding it really difficult to want to get better, because I often feel that people think I'm lying or exaggerating as I never reached a very low weight. I feel so bad when I hear about other people's situations, as I feel like mine has been so small in comparison and I'm just so ashamed to even talk about it in case people judge me. I was just wondering if you had any tips on how to deal with these feelings?

Feeling you weren’t “sick enough” is, in and of itself, a sick thought. Putting this illness in the terms of more accepted physical illness is frequently helpful in exposing these thoughts for the illogical statements they truly are. If you have a cold and someone else has the flu, it doesn’t mean you should actively try to make your cold worse so that your recovery is more dramatic. All eating disorders are dangerous, and the voice in your head telling you you weren’t sick enough to deserve recovery? That’s your ED. Keep fighting. You’ve got this.

Hi All!

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I think in this case, it just comes down to how you address it. It’s totally fine when another patient says the wrong diagnosis to give a quick, “I have ARFID, actually, not x!” Cheerfully, without making a big deal of it. Your diagnosis is a big deal to you (and for good reason!), but if you handle correcting folks as if their mistake isn’t a big issue, they’re more likely to just accept it and move on.

First of all, I’m really glad you’re receiving medical treatment. I know that part is rough, but I’m so happy to hear you’re getting the care you need.

Your treatment team will set your goal BMI, which will be in the healthy category (usually considered 20-25, though there may be a few goals on the way there). It’s not uncommon to overshoot your target as your metabolism adjusts to eating normally again, but your body will eventually catch up and your weight will stabilize. Which is to say, eating to your meal plan won’t cause you to just keep gaining and gaining. Your meal plan will be adjusted so you reach healthy weight and stay there.

You’ve got this!

This is normal - when you restrict, your body adapts in order to keep you alive. That means that, when you’ve been restricting, trying to increase your intake may make you feel very full. Recovery bloating is a struggle, but one that will go away over time. Try eating smaller, more frequent meals and using a hot water bottle after meals to help with this.

I’ve been on and off recovery for a while now where I’d have a good day and eat xish and then I’d have bad days of xish. I do want to recover but my mom is OBSESSED with calories and loosing weight and she always comments on what I’m eating. I also have to see my grandma over the summer and the last time I saw her, the first thing she said to me was “you’ve gained weight”. Any advice/tip on how to stick to recovery?

My parents found out about my eating disorder yesterday and instead of trying to help yelled at me and told me I had to "stop this bullshit right now" which has just made me feel worse. They also told me I was doing it for attention, I do want to recover but the voice in the back of my head is telling me not to.

Reaching out to loved ones for help is hard enough in and of itself, so when it doesn’t go well, it can feel like the end of the world, the end of your recovery. It isn’t.

Eating disorders are illogical. Starving doesn’t make sense to those who don’t have an eating disorder, and it shouldn’t. So to folks who don’t know about eating disorders, just saying “stop that right now!” seems like it should be the answer. There’s an urge to fix the situation, without an understanding of the complex factors that can cause eating disorders. When you add in friends and family members who are also fixated on calories and weight loss and are not only unhelpful but actively triggering, it only gets more complicated.

Do not let your eating disorder use their lack of understanding as an excuse to avoid recovery. You are sick enough. You deserve to recover. Once you seek treatment, your therapist can help you devise coping strategies to let you continue with your recovery, despite external triggers. 

Before that, though, a frank conversation with triggering friends and family members should be your first step. I’m well aware it’s easier said than done. However, your friends and family would not knowingly cause you harm. Saying “When I hear You’ve gained weight or how much you hate your body, I feel I need to [insert behavior]. Can you try to avoid that around me?” Giving your friends and family concrete ways to help and things to avoid, along with clearly stating the results, can curtail the more overt issues.

I’m not a doctor, so I cannot diagnose your boyfriend (especially knowing only one sentence about him). Some bulimia diagnoses do include purging via exercise. Regardless of the terminology, these are disordered behaviors. Best of luck to both you and your boyfriend - with a partner as supportive as you, I know you’ll both make it through this. We’re here to help you with any questions.

Yes! This is completely normal and a good sign. It’s a signal that your metabolism is beginning to heal. Keep going!