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Incredibly violent take of mine but I actually donāt think you need to relate to a story in any way to enjoy it. You can enjoy a story even if you canāt point at a character and insert some aspect of your personality or identity into them. In fact I would argue the need for a character like that to be present in every single story you experience is a sign of stunted growth.
I really hate that for some reason the narrative became that women fought to join the workforce rather than women fought to have the same jobs for the same pay as men instead of being relegated to labour considered to be lesser and explicitly disallowed from many roles and professions. fuck off and die.
from Ghost Boy, the first song in The Civility of Albert Cashier; a trans-produced musical about Civil War soldier Albert Cashier who fought for the Union and lived most of his life as a man until he was outed in old age and forcibly detransitioned. Young Albert is played by actor Dani Shay (they/them) and the music was done in part by musician Joe Stevens (he/him). The entire show can be watched (without captions; the captions in the above video were added by me) here.
sorry i can't ever shut up about this musical but this show is a foundational text in transmasc studies. to me.
these lyrics from the above song ("Ghost Boy"):
Take me away
to a place
where I'm not strange,
and I'm not alone.
The world's not safe
and I am afraid
at the end of today
I know I'm on my own
and I'm never going home.
always fucking hit. tell me this doesn't strike at the heart of so much transmasc pain. (more lyrics under the cut)
and there's also a scene between Albert and his cis male love interest, Jeffrey, who loves Albert in a gay way but proposes that he detransition so that they can live together as a married couple after finding out Albert is trans. and there's a heartbreaking song ("The Perfect Home") where Albert is refusing the offer and trying to explain that to the man he loves that he simply cannot give up his life as a man, even if it would be easier and safer and allow them to be together:
Jeffrey:
We could have children -
Albert:
God, Jeff!
Jeffrey:
Teach them to stand up and live free
I'd keep your secret,
No one would know but you and me
Albert:
But that isn't free
Jeffrey:
But you'd be with me
Albert:
It's not my dream
Jeffrey:
But don't you see?
Albert:
Don't you see me?
and this is followed by another song in which Albert considers the life ahead of him & finds meaning and hope in choosing himself and his freedom:
Could I be satisfied
To live someone else's life
It doesn't feel right
And I don't know why
Deep in the heart of me
I know what I believe
To live as I want is a sacrifice
It's quite a mountain to climb
But I gotta try [...]
Like a cloud has been lifted here
I can see it all so clear
I don't want to disappear
But I can't live a lie
Goodbye
(also, there is the song "Excuse Me, Sir" which is about Jeffrey looking for Albert after he was taken by Confederates, and him slowly realizing that the feelings he has for his Brave Handsome Smart Boy Best Friend are, in fact, romantic love)
& then there is the song "Woman to Woman" which is set when Albert is aging and has been outed, and is now on trial. the cis nurse who has been targeting him, and iirc outed him, comes to speak to him in private. she's trying to convince him to admit his male identity is a mental illness and willingly detransition, threatening that if he doesn't he will be institutionalized. she projects her own experiences under patriarchy onto him, insisting that if she wasn't allowed to become a doctor, he shouldn't be allowed to get away with (what she sees as) trying to escape the burden of womanhood. which to me anyone interested in cis woman/trans man dynamics should watch that scene/song.
Nurse Smith:
Who cares about the truth? Do you know what happens when we don't fit in? We suffer. We fall out of step. I did my work, I followed the rules, and so must you
Albert:
Are you happy?
Nurse Smith:
Life isn't about being happy. We must submit, accept the pain. Now I'm asking you, one last time
Albert:
I'd rather die for the truth than live a lie like you
Nurse Smith:
I see.
You're undone at the stitch,
You ungrateful old bitch!
I'm not here to be scolded by you
I have stated my mind
And I think you will find
That the world won't be kind
To you.
and then. well. the penultimate song is "Breathe. Walk. Home." which is about Albert's final moments, having been forcibly transitioned (and eventually dying as a direct result of this, due to an injury he got from being forced to walk in dresses after a lifetime of wearing pants). and we see him have a conversation with his younger self, while wondering if he wasted his life trying to be a man:
Old Albert:
I don't recognize what I see
That person there, that's not me
I lived my life the way that I -
The way that I saw fit
This isn't it!
This isn't it
Where's the world I used to know? [...]
Old Albert (to reflection):
What did you do?
Young Albert:
I survived. I lived my truth.
Old Albert:
How did you know?
I didn't know, I just kept moving.
What else could I do?
Both:
What else can you do?
Old Albert:
They took my name -
Young Albert:
They can't take your name
Old Albert:
They took all that I owned -
Young Albert:
Let them take what they want
No, they can't take your soul
Old Albert:
But if you're old like me
You've lived long enough to know
Both:
We can't ever go home
We can't ever go home
There's some battles you face
And there's some where you run
You must fight all your days
It's not done 'til it's done.
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There are a lot of people who start creative projects with no business or financial plan, because "who cares, it isn't important, we'll figure that out later". And you can't let yourself become that person. Not because I'm a sneering finance bro who thinks your woke animated youtube series wont make money, but because if you don't you'll wind up financially exploiting your friends for years
Look, it's none of my business if you wanna work yourself to the bone for no money so you can make your dream project a reality. I think you shouldn't, but also let's be real that's basically a rite of passage for young creatives. But as soon as you start involving other people? You need a plan. You need to be able to compensate them for their time, and you need to have it in writing
For freelancers: I recommend getting yourself a copy of the Graphic Artists' Guild Handbook: Pricing and Ethical Guidelines for reference-- the newest one dropped last year (I have the 16th edition). It helps you figure out your pricing, how to create a contract for various projects (and you can access free PDFs of templates you can use to modify for your own projects)! It's a good place to start and refer to-- even colleagues who are decades in the business (and former Guild Members too) still use it.
incredibly minor but still dumb side effect of late stage capitalism: ever notice how so many concert venues and stadiums just have the lamest names imaginable. Like ooooh Lady Gaga is playing at the..... Mortgage Stadium? Oh boy the finals are at the.... Chase Bank arena. Can't wait to catch a game at the Garunteed Rate field.
Do you ever think about how so much of the deadly anti-science rhetoric that fills America today and is killing countless vulnerable people can be directly traced back to one fucking guy who decided to just straight-up lie about vaccines causing autism because it would make him a profit? Do you ever think about that? Because I think about it a lot.
404 has been knocking it out of the park since they started. Please support their original reporting on this! If you subscribe to nothing else I highly recommend them. Their podcast is great too.
Planning documents for "Scout" say the plan is to "make people addicted" to the tool before adding new features.
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You ever think about many peices of media have zero women and thats just perfectly normal but if a peice of media has an all female cast people get... like that? Women should be allowed to kill over this btw
Some cool news for today: someone uploaded the uncut English dub of Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters to the Internet Archive!! They used to be all online, but got taken down, only 2 were avaliable for a while
Episodes 1-9 of the Uncut Yu-Gi-Oh Dub breifly produced by 4Kids Entertainment and distributed by FUNimation in the early 2000's.Episodes 1-
For those that don't know: This was an attempt by 4kids to make an uncensored, more accurate dub of the show, released directly on DVD, with most of the same cast of the older dub. They didn't sell very well, so there were only 9 episodes released, but we have these at least (i believe the episode 10 in the link is an fan edit)
We're in a bit of a fallow period right now, cooking up our next book to come out this fall (!!!), but until then, we've got suchhhh a backlog of really great queer and trans lit running the gamut of strange and wonderful! Books that take a few hours to read--books that can take months to get lost in, and everything in between!! Browse our Itch catalogue and grab a cheap book (or our entire bundle, which includes novellas, poetry, flash fic, novels, and a graphic novel.) And as always, if you are interested in a title, but don't have the budget, just DM us for a free digital copy! <3
Just a few of our titles:
MOST FAMOUS SHORT FILM OF ALL TIME. A trans man living stealth loses a best friend and spirals into a work conspiracy.
MAEJ. The highest of fantasies, following a troubling, magical matriarchy.
EUSECT. Extreme horror vignettes, featuring interior art from Florian S. Fauna.
SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT. Trans and queer luminous flash fics.
CORRUPTED VESSELS. A decay novella with trans squatters, angels, drugs, and dreams.
LOVE/AGGRESSION. A surreal emotional arms war between two (former) trans best friends.
You can find these and other titles on Itch!
And a huge thank you to everyone who supports our books!! <33333
i get that americans love their cultural imperialism, but it really does piss me off that june is āinternationalā pride month just because something happened in the united states.
in aotearoa, june isnāt our pride, itās theirs. marsha p johnson and sylvia rivera are their historical figures, not ours. the phrase that āyou owe your rights to Black trans womenā is true there, but here we owe our rights to (mostly) MÄori historical figures. i have the freedoms i do because of the legacy of an entirely different set of people operating in an entirely different context at entirely different times.
But because of american cultural imperialism, most queer people in Aotearoa donāt even know our own queer history. Carmen Rupe, Ngahuia Te Awekotuku, the Dorian Society, Gillian Laundon, Georgina Beyer, and the Wolfenden Association are some of our queer history. We should know their names! we should know what they did for us! but because of the power of the american imperial machine, we donāt.
our national pride month should be july, the month that the Homosexual Law Reform Act passed in 1986. our two largest cities hold their pride festivals in february and march, respectively. american queer history has very little (or nothing, depending on who you ask) to do with our queer history. anecdotally, from my own queries, queer youth in aotearoa know more about american queer history than our own.
anyway, happy pride, americans. iām truly sorry that most of you donāt see the negative impact your nationās culture has on the rest of the world. and to the rest of the world reading this, try searching for your own country and cultureās queer history, donāt accept the american narratives as your own. we deserve our own histories divorced from the cultural hegemony of the USA.
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Untangling Blackness in Greek Antiquity by Sarah F. Derbew https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62057860-untangling-blackness-in-greek-antiquity
How should articulations of blackness from the fifth ceā¦
How should articulations of blackness from the fifth century BCE to the twenty-first century be properly read and interpreted? This important and timely new book is the first concerted treatment of black skin color in the Greek literature and visual culture of antiquity. In charting representations in the Hellenic world of black Egyptians, Aithiopians, Indians, and Greeks, Sarah Derbew dexterously disentangles the complex and varied ways in which blackness has been co-produced by ancient authors and artists; their readers, audiences, and viewers; and contemporary scholars. Exploring the precarious hold that race has on skin coloration, the author uncovers the many silences, suppressions, and misappropriations of blackness within modern studies of Greek antiquity. Shaped by performance studies and critical race theory alike, her book maps out an authoritative archaeology of blackness that reappraises its significance. It offers a committedly anti-racist approach to depictions of black people while rejecting simplistic conflations or explanations.
Oh I KNOW this pissed some people off š¤£š¤£ she said "critical race theory" and "Black people in the ancient world", oh the Nazis are losing their MINDS rn those are curses to them š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ I love to see it. Thank you!
another very recent book that may be of interest is classics and race: a historical reader, ed. sarah derbew, daniel orrells, phiroze vasunia. i bring it up especially because it's open access--the link goes directly to the pdf. it has a number of readings from the 14th century ce through to the 20th century (ending on martin luther king jr's letter from a birmingham jail) that engage with both race and with ancient mediterranean texts, all with commentary. i think it's a really cool approach!
when i say āinclude transmasculine people in your feminismā iām not saying āfeminism is for everyone!ā iām saying that feminism fundamentally is about misogyny and patriarchy and trans men experience both misogyny and transphobia, which is itself a product of patriarchy, and so should be included in feminism
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