Tales of a Horny Insomniac

FML sing it K. Flay……

All set to go teach 26 first graders about bacteria monsters and toothbrushing. Save me! #selfie #dentalhygieneschool #nofilter

I’ll be a senior in 2 weeks and then I have 12 months to go. Countdown is winding down. It’s amazing how a silly piece of paper can lift you up though. I doubt myself so much, but I clearly got this. I’m just scared because I don’t want to lose another thing I love.

I don't feel like myself whatsoever with all this stress. I care so fucking much about this program that I don't think about anything else, I really don't even care about anything else. This is what I want, I've worked so hard and I don't want this to slip by.

I'm on a weekend away, I don't even recall the last one I was on. Maybe a tweet up, MITU? Yeah, it's been that long. Anyways, I'm in Cincinnati celebrating one of my best friends 40th birthday. Aric is someone I owe so much to, he helped guide me towards where I am now, we met for a reason and I wouldn't even be pursuing dental hygiene if it wasn't for him. And I love what I'm in school for, no matter how challenging it is, I absolutely love when I'm working in the mouth. I love him more than words can say and he knows it, he's family. The party is swank. It's gold themed and it's fancy AF. I'm all dressed up and way too trashy for this kind of event. But, I did spend $40 on Tom Ford nail today, so I maybe that makes me pretentious trash. School is going great, I have so much fun when I'm in clinical. Just have the stress of trying to meet all the requirements of new patients to pass the semester is the only thing I'm concerned about. Sucks not having family close for something like this. But, if I meet them I'll be a senior in about 6 weeks. This time next year I'll be taking my national boards... surreal. I have my apartment 99% done, I don't know if I shared that. It's feels like my home now; I even signed another lease. This is huge for me. I haven't been this stationary in a long time.

So, PopTop visited my dating profile the other night and the next morning he sends me a text. My boss was just asking if he's surfaced like a couple weeks ago, too.

I can do without the stress, but I’d love more days like today, minus the forgetting my schedule aspect.

I decided to try some rose gold ombré in my hair to roll in 2017. #selfie #nofilter #rosegoldhair #ombrehair #balayage #hairtrends #change

So, this is what happens I left my typodant at work and my coworkers decide they were bored and wanted to play with it. #creative #adulthumour #dentalhygienestudent #worklife

About to go get my sushi on. I was told I was unicorn 🦄this week by someone, and that's about all I have going for me besides an ulcer the size of Texas probably developing. #selfie #nofilter

I'm alive, although the struggle was real this past week. I survived though, and passed my exams, bring on week 11 and winter break. #selfie #nofilter

Today Doucher told me that he has feelings for me. My gut sank and I instantly wanted to throw up; I don't girl very well outside of dresses and makeup. I'm way more dude in the head than not, very rare I girl, it's way easier to not in my opinion. Panic was my emotion, he knew it and tried to calm it by reassuring me that he wasn't telling me that he was in love with me yet, but he does have strong emotions towards me. That didn't help me though, anything but. I know he's been more present lately, blowing me up a lot and even has said things like, I can have him if I want him. I seriously was not taking it seriously, but thinking it was a role play thing. I feel like an idiot kind of now for not picking up on it, but I never would have expected this turn of events. Good news is he didn't pressure me about it. I simply said I was confused at how he could develop feelings for me 😂 and it was dropped. But, he's butt hurt and it's obvious, because he turned a comment I made around about commitment issues around on me. Ugh. I don't know how I'm going to deal with this, I can avoid him this week because of exams I think, but I don't know if that's going to be the best course of action with him. How in the fuck did this happen though I'd like to know.

When you're having a bad day and you have been feeling bad about yourself in general (it's lady time), but then a really hot guy with super long fingers chats you up and then asks for your digits. I might look like a heifer, but I can still pull ass like I did when I was 50# smaller. But, goddamn if this doesn't help me not feel As bad about myself for the weight gain.

Waking up this morning with Doucher’s arms around me got me thinking, If you would have told me back in July when I gave Doucher my digits that he would still be in my life I would have laughed at you. He was suppose to be a last hoorah, because Poptop was coming back, or just a pump and dump, because he’s such a player. Funny how things work out; I love that he knows he’s a douche though.

These dark circles are fucking earned and I refuse to filter. #sotired #selfie #nofilter

I'm physically in a class or lab 22 hours a week, plus working a full time job, and I still have to get about 5 hours of studying in a night minimum to a B average student in the program. We just finished the third week and I'm exhausted. I can honestly say that after doing this and nursing school that this is way more demanding, WAY more demanding, but I seem to love it. I don't know if it's because I'm not bored, I'm not wiping ass, I'm not depressed about where my life is heading or whatever in regards to this choice, but in a warped exhausted to hell and back way, I'm cool with the demands. Hygiene school Is the same as Boot Camp I decided this week, or at least what Hollywood makes Bootcamp seem like. You get yelled at a lot by the drill sergeants (instructors) all at once, expect laps to happen, too. Oh yes, there have been laps around the clinics several days. MOVE IT LADIES!!! It was so bad my lab partner on Wednesday actually packed her books and left half way through the pre-lab clinic and said, fuck this shit. All my instructors had to say to was, at least I was the operator and she was my patient the first round so I got my practice in. There are no tears in hygiene school, why are you crying?! Seriously, this week was a brutal week of skill exams and quizzes out every orifice imaginable, I saw so many wet faces it was as if I were in Nicholas Sparks movie. I mean, I can't recall anyone in nursing school failing a skill exam, but they love to fail people in hygiene apparently. The second years have warned us all to be prepared to fail at least one, but probably half of out skills. Quite a bit of the class failed for hand washing!!! It's like Nazi Germany back in this bitch. Touch your pants, fail! Knocking so hard on wood that thankfully so far I've passed all of my skills, I was sweating hard core during at least 2 of them, too. Next week is a major one, intra and oral exam skill evaluation with landmark identification. I was kind of annoyed at my one instructor today who stopped me from practicing my intra exam to go over anatomy landmarks, so if I bomb that portion next week I'm blaming her ass. Why she stopped me to review something she kept telling me I had down was beyond me. I know my anatomy, I'm going to name off and point out about 80 landmarks in 5 minutes just fine. Surprisingly even to myself, I've got that portion down pat. But, it does feel good to get stuck with a lab partner who doesn't know as much and then they think you're a genius and the instructor praises me because compared to my partner, I am a genius ... today at least. I don't know how I feel about my classmates. We've already lost about 3-4 now, so I keep waiting for more to drop before I bother learning names. I'm even trying to predict to might drop just from the amount of tear shedding I see. Yes, this is awful and I'm aware. I'm so on guard though, I don't know why because none of these bitches know me. My advisor told me I need to make friends with them and develop a support system here, because we are all going to need each other the next 2 years. I fought the urge to just say, but I hate people in general. But, I also already feel like I have an amazing support system and people in my life who aren't viewing me as disappearing, but simply distracted in my studies. Everyone in my life gets it and they aren't pissed at me, they check on me during the week and weekend they'll come at me for mini convos since I'm phone less during the week. Yes, I'm without my phone during all of school... It's like it's 1999 all over again. Also, if you want some serious savings on whitening strips or Oral B Genius Tooth brushes, like I'm talking $150 or more off MSRP on the brush I'll be doing a fundraiser soon before the holidays.

I finally completed my agate coffee table project! It's not quite as I envisioned; I had to puzzle pieces together since I couldn't find one long enough image that I liked. I'm actually impressed with myself for this being my first project and how it turned out, it's not perfect by any means, but it's custom and unique. I hand painted the gold leaf trim and dipped the legs in gold, too. I want hairpin legs, but this is my solution until I find hairpin legs at a reasonable price. #diy #agate #coffeetable #modpodge #decoupage #apartmenttherapy #makeover #customized #unique #midcenturymodern #craftyAF