Some yummy HxH headcanons that are mostly Hisoillu
Hisoka is a pretty good cook and cooks for Illumi whenever he comes over however, when he’s alone the kitchen isn’t even touched and he just orders takeout.
Illumi is no longer allowed in the kitchen because he will burn water.
Hisoka is not getting his deposit back as he has painted all his walls pink, replaced all the doorknobs with heart shaped ones, stained the bathroom red with hair dye and most definitely messed up the ceiling above his bed by throwing cards at it when he’s bored.
Hisoka is a maximalist so his apartment is very cluttered it’s clean but there’s stuff everywhere, Illumi was appalled the first time he came over.
Illumi barely has anything in his room other than books but he does have a rather large collection of moths and beetles that he pinned.
Hisoka buys most of Illumi’s clothes, terrifying Kikyo.
Illumi has to set aside 20 percent of his assassin money to bribe Milluki and Kalluto, unfortunately when mother’s precious baby Kalluto is involved there’s only so much threatening he can do.
Silva has forbidden any of the Zoldycks from smoking however that doesn’t prevent Kikyo for running off into the forest, only to be caught by one of her children.
Kalluto is a clean freak and everything in his room has a place.
Milluki didn’t mind watching Kalluto when he was a toddler because he was quiet and didn’t pitch fits however he found it amusing that Illumi looked like a tried mom most of the time with Killua and Alluka both running about.
The Zoldyck children never really interact during the daytime however like normal siblings they find each other in the kitchen at 3 am making cereal and eventually end up in Milluki’s room playing Mario cart.
Illumi never told Kalluto and Milluki that he was married to Hisoka but Kalluto found to from the phantom troupe in ways he definitely didn’t want to, he swiftly told Milluki and they got enough pizza to send a horse into a coma.
Illumi wakes up really early but if he could he’d sleep all day.
During summer Illumi avoids the sun like the plague and Hisoka doesn’t put on nearly enough clothes.
Hisoka has a pile of magazines just on the floor next to his couch.
Illumi gets cat called a lot and Hisoka finds it hilarious.
Machi and Illumi dislike each other and Kalluto is stuck in the middle of their feud.
Killua and Gon like to sit in fields together and listen to music.
After Killua and Gon separated, Killua and Alluka met up with Bisky so Alluka could learn the basics of nen. Bisky yelled at Killua because he didn’t know how to do Alluka’s hair and she showed him how to braid it.
Since Kalluto is around the phantom troupe so much he’s started talking like them and Illumi constantly has to remind him not to use foul language.
Everyone talks to Kalluto about their problems because they think he won’t tell.
Illumi doesn’t know slang and so he is constantly confused when speaking to Milluki, he has to text Hisoka for answers who will gladly jump at the chance of causing drama.
Kurapika constantly gets emails from Hisoka about random stuff.
When Killua found out Hisoka and Illumi were married he was eating dinner with Gon and he immediately curled up into a ball and kept repeating “Im related to a clown…”
Gon gets grasshoppers and collects them in jars, he gets very sad when Mito tells him they are not allowed in the house.
Leorio makes a lot of gay jokes.
Hisoka really dislikes Kikyo.
When Gon and Killua have sleep overs, they usually get tangled in blankets and fall off the bed.
Whenever Gon does something stupid Killua tells him he’s “Engaging in fatherless behavior”
Chrollo stole an ambulance and named it the spider-mobile.
Chrollo drives the spider-mobile and every time they see one of those crosses for people who’ve gotten into an accident on the road he pulls over and prays for them.
Phinks bet Kalluto that he couldn’t eat a spoon of hot sauce with a straight face and lost 50 Jenny and his dignity.
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