-†- Reality's Pariah -†-

write me a tbh (to be honest) in my inbox stating a thought you feel about me. start the sentence off with “tbh.”

Although he finds him unsettling, he could never boldly admit that like the totally rude Judas just did. He softly huffed, even kinda crossed his arms about it.

“…”

“…It’s not that hard to house someone as quiet as a mouse in a mansion.”

A tsuntsun response, but he acknowledged his appreciation and he did sincerely care for him like another lost sibling. However…moving on, is an interesting thing to say, an interesting feeling he has because–

                †~  “Perhaps... But I don’t belong here, Leon.”

            Every day, that truth weighed more heavily on him... He didn’t belong in this world,             there was no place for him here. His counterpart’s choices were different and had             averted every trace of the future he’d once known and been able to take part in.             While he was here, Leon wasn’t really moving on with his life, and couldn’t escape             that past...

                    “I don’t know why I’ve been kept here so long... This is by far the longest I’ve                     managed to stay in one place.” Or time, for that matter. “But just as I was finding                     some measure of control over it... I ended up here, and now it seems I’ve lost                     that control completely...”

His legs had twitched to move, but a strange spell triggering kept him in place. He had become unused to excessive spell use, and Judas quite enjoyed firing those things out. Stan was capable of a few action enchants, as well as small scale spells that weren’t so much chanted, but done in his momentum in battle.

His sword wasn’t quite Dymlos, but it was still a sturdy and powerful blade endowed with a fine large lens as its core. It was developing technology to allow more people to use magic later in the future, and Stan was a great ‘pioneer’ of test driving the developing tool. He didn’t use it lightly, however, seeing as it did draw from somewhere in his body that made him tired. So he relied on his natural assets. His brute strength and gathered speed from being trained in several years.

He charged through the hoardes, making clean breaks through the weaker monsters swooping in from above, and slamming down on the defensive shell of a bipedal. Large fragments of the exoskeleton had flown off it in response to Stan’s powerful and violent strike, but that was only the armor, it could still put up a fight.  He held his sword up to parry its bone-y claw, ignoring the screech of his blade as it held onto it with a firm clutch.

            “Prism Flasher!”

            He was more used to spells than Stahn. Constantly casting would tire him but             for now he could keep going. He knew his limits after spending years doing             nothing but refining his skills in anticipation of the holy woman who wished to             impose her goddess’ ‘blessings’ upon the world. He could work in this support             role to Stahn’s brute strength.

“You don’t mean–?”

It can’t be the lady he’s thinking of. She’s… she’s manic sure, but… Zelos can’t believe that woman fell for Emilio. Why do all the hot chicks fall for guys like Emilio? It must be the small brooding nature. Maybe Zelos should brood more often. It seems to get the ladies interested. It worked for the elf twins after all.

          †~  “She’s a Berselius, but she has gone by that name too.”

Harold... It was ridiculous, but this demonic spirit did not always abide by very sensical logic. He did not know how to feel about her attraction to him... He did not feel particularly inclined to start a romance with someone with a different lifespan than his own... Could he really start one with a spirit of all things? Even with his long lifespan, Harold had lived long before he was born and would persist long after his death. Even if he did want to, in her words, experiment... He did not know if he could in good faith start such a relationship... Especially with someone as volatile as Harold Berselius. He’d preferred having her brother around at first...Even now, though she was amusing, and highly powerful... Maybe even fun in her mad way... But still dangerous if not reined in. She was a bit... Tiring, on a regular basis... At least, in her usual moods. When she calmed down, she could be quite... Tolerable.

It was all very complicated.

“Your sword’s replacement spirit has a crush on you?” Well, more technically the spirit that replaced the original one of the sword did. He almost wants to meet this spirit. Sure, there was someone out there for everyone, but he needs to see the girl who loves Emilio in the flesh.

                †~  What an assumption. Berselius, the serious type? Zelos could not be more                     wrong. Neither Berselius was particularly serious, apart from a few rare                     occasions that were almost frightening to behold (to someone else, anyways.                     He of course wasn’t scared). But this Berselius... He did not know what to think                     of her. She was dangerous, certainly, incredibly so, yet somehow she had not                     yet caused untold destruction. At first he was wearied by her presence and                     constant upbeat attitude but... She was not all bad. Berselius was intuitive,                     and willing to share and temper her vast power... And she was capable of                     being serious, yes, though often she was simply not.

                    “Are you sure you haven’t met her already? She’s been around town                     on her own before. She is impossible to miss in her standard form.”                     He did sometimes wonder if her interest itself was serious and not just                     another way for her to have fun... He was still trying to adjust to the                     idea of this. Having a demonic spirit of all things be interested in him was                     not something he had anticipated in his life.

Rutee’s son… Judas did mention the boy quite a lot, and with the context he didn’t need to hear the next bit of information to come to the conclusion. It was stating the ever uncomfortable obvious that unfortunately, he could not be every empathetic about. It was a tricky nearly impossible topic, but he did have a shred of sympathy for the fact a child will not exist and by his choice at that.

“…”

Judas was right, it didn’t make any productive difference to know this, it just gave him a troubling and nauseating feeling instead. He tried to be the bigger person about this, but he isn’t sure how to be. He didn’t want to argue either, there was no point to it, and there was nothing else to talk about. That was it. This was it. There was the answer right there.

“Okay.”

                †~  Leon was silent, and he was silent. There was nothing more to be said here.                     Leon had already come to his own conclusions and it wasn’t as if he’d forsake                     his happiness and Stahn’s forcing something that was not going to be, here.                     Stahn could hardly tolerate Rutee, it seemed, in this world.

            He just wanted... He didn’t even have a home back in the world he’d come from             originally, but this was not where he belonged. There was more to it, maybe, than             just Kyle’s nonexistence. He wasn’t supposed to be in this world. He was an outsider             wearing Leon’s face, a ghost that flitted through the halls of a changed manor.

            He wanted to go home. He wasn’t even the hugging type, and Kyle             wouldn’t remember him anyways even if he found him again, but... At             this moment, he wanted to give Kyle a hug.

            ... How long was he going to be here? Why couldn’t he leave, like every other time?

“Whether it matters or not does not retract that it is relevant.”

He wants to either nip this in the bud or at least stop it from reoccurring from this point on by talking about it. He softly huffed in reply to Judas sucking his teeth.

“Neither does it matter whether either of our opinions will change or not if that’s what you mean. You give me vibes and it’s annoying me.”

                †~  “... Leon...”

            That sadness returned to his tone. He couldn’t think along these lines too long             without some of it coming out. He had never expected this outcome. He was             not supposed to have survived, Kyle was... But he was here and his nephew             would never exist, in this timeline. And Leon now wanted to know why the             thought of this upset him. Hmph...

                    “... Rutee’s son. Do you remember me talking about him?”

            Stahn couldn’t hear this. He would need to speak quickly, or not at all.

                    “In any case. Stahn... Stahn was his father.”

The extended silence in place of a reply was annoying, and after all that it had ended with an even more annoying ‘it doesn’t matter’. Leon wasn’t in the mood to let it slide this time, evident in his pouting intensifying right before his pseudo alternate self.

“It’s so obvious that it does matter or you wouldn’t scrunch up after mentioning it.”

He was on the defense as much as he tried to not be. Was it for his own ego? Was it to protect the honor of the man he harbored feelings for? He wasn’t sure himself. This burning feeling he had it was…irritating, very irritating and he hadn’t felt it in a long time.

“Why does it make you uncomfortable?”

                †~  “Does it matter? It would change nothing for you to know.”

            Now Judas was on the defensive, full out frowning rather than pouting like Leon.             He didn’t want to get caught in this, and he still had the feeling Leon shouldn’t             know too much about the timeline he had averted with his survival. It might or             might not change how this universe played out but all it did was drag up his             own pain, which was neither productive or Leon’s problem.

            ... But by even saying what he had, he was admitting there was a problem. That it             was making him uncomfortable, seeing Stahn and Leon so close. This Leon wasn’t             him, but it was still strange... And then there were all the possibilities that this             relationship between them destroyed. As in his nephew. Kyle. What if... What if this             wasn't an alternate timeline? What if Kyle truly was gone? ... That possibilty             haunted him.