Dracula does not respond. He is too busy pissing.

I love sex and masturbation I just wish there was a carry over system where if I didn't orgasm I could put that cum energy (cumergy) towards my next one

must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason

reblog to slowblink at your mutuals

they let me do drugs because i am only 10 years old

defunctland episode released immediately upon your death chronicling all failed career paths and relationships and somehow michael eisner is still at fault

Heartwarming story: Little girl doesn’t have to do anything to fund her dad’s surgery because his expenses are covered by his country’s universal healthcare.

Human determination: Man bikes 18 miles to work every morning because he wants to and not because he can’t afford a car and would be fired if he’s late.

Spirit of Brotherhood: Neighbors host housewarming party for elderly resident who doesn’t need help in paying rent because his pension is more than enough.

SO INSPIRING: Local middle school students bake dozens of cupcakes because their home economics class is doing a baking unit. Their school is fully funded with everything they need.

This feels like calibrating my normal detector

i think one of the best parts about being a teenager in the early to mid 2010s was that cigarettes were definitely not cool anymore and vapes hadn’t popularized yet so my lungs made it out of my peak impressionable years relatively unscathed