Dracula does not respond. He is too busy pissing.

I love sex and masturbation I just wish there was a carry over system where if I didn't orgasm I could put that cum energy (cumergy) towards my next one

must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason

reblog to slowblink at your mutuals

they let me do drugs because i am only 10 years old

defunctland episode released immediately upon your death chronicling all failed career paths and relationships and somehow michael eisner is still at fault

Heartwarming story: Little girl doesn’t have to do anything to fund her dad’s surgery because his expenses are covered by his country’s universal healthcare.

Human determination: Man bikes 18 miles to work every morning because he wants to and not because he can’t afford a car and would be fired if he’s late.

Spirit of Brotherhood: Neighbors host housewarming party for elderly resident who doesn’t need help in paying rent because his pension is more than enough.

SO INSPIRING: Local middle school students bake dozens of cupcakes because their home economics class is doing a baking unit. Their school is fully funded with everything they need.

This feels like calibrating my normal detector