Dracula does not respond. He is too busy pissing.

when people are like "i didn't come here to make friends" i'm like thats sooooo unrelatable. i am always on the look out for some girl friends. I would be in that hunger games cornucopia like "your ex boyfriend did WHAT."

I was cleaning the kitchen and noticed my roommate left part of an onion on the counter after cooking and for some stupid fucking reason instead of asking about it like a normal person I went to them holding the onion in my hand as if it were an injured bird and asked “what do you desire of his fate”

There’s a bit in Hamlet that stuck with me where Claudius is in church and he’s trying to pray to get forgiveness for killing his brother and he realizes that he can’t because even if he feels guilty about it, at the end of the day he’s never going to choose to stop reaping the benefits of that murder. Nothing Claudius says matters because he’s totally unwilling to atone if it means giving up the position he’s gained. I really like stories about guilt and how people deal with it, and I always think it’s interesting when a character feels horrible about something they’ve done, but refuses to actually change their actions or make up for it in any meaningful way.

something sweetie this way loves

Girls I am looking you in the eye and holding you tight. 99% of all things people describe as being female or male puberty is made up bullshit. Sex is not as black and white as you think (nor is it real for that matter.) Please. Dont listen. Jaw sizes and leg lengths and whatever is made up, misogynistic, and sometimes even race science. PLEASE im begging you to not hold yourself to such standards, much less other people.

Anon you fucked up so bad

Well there's an answer for the Teventer architecture all over the elf areas.

My liege im sorry to break it to you but your advisor that's actually evil and wants you dead turned out to be straight. I know you really wanted to have an enemies to lovers situation with him. Yeah I'm afraid the poisoning didn't hold any romantic intent behind it. The king of the enemy kingdom is bisexual though, I could send him a letter? Yes, I'll make sure to include multiple threats of homoerotic nature. You will have your toxic yaoi, my liege