DOCTOR BITCHCRAFT

I love eating. I have come to love cooking, and though it’s been a Road, getting better at it continues to pay off bigger and bigger. I recommend it as a time investment, because Anyone Can Cook (yes, you) and it’s instant gratification because you get to eat whatever you cook as soon as it’s done. 

To that point, here are some things I’ve picked up along the way I wish I’d been doing all along. A lot of this shit you’ve heard before or is common sense, but sometimes you really gotta hear it:

- A good chef’s knife, kept sharp, is so satisfying and makes everything easier

- If you have an old computer, put it in the kitchen and use it for recipes, to play music while you cook, or fuck it, FaceTime a friend or a family and cook while you chat

- NEVER rinse your pasta after you drain it.

- ALWAYS rinse your rice before you cook it. If you eat rice more than once a week, get thee a rice cooker.

- Don’t fuck with a mince cut on garlic, just use a microplane grater. And never, and I MEAN NEVER, buy pre-chopped garlic in a jar. The fresh stuff is cheaper and always worth the time investment.

- Never boil vegetables, wtf. Roast or steam only. Grill if you got it.

- Learn how to use your stove. Gas > Electric, but regardless of your tool, pay attention when it’s doing its thing because recipe instructions are vague and you gotta work with what you got

- Baking is HARD to do well. Get a food scale and use weight measurements instead of cups when baking to take out some of the human error. 

- Onions are hard as fuck to caramelize. It takes forever and I doubt if I’ve ever done it properly. Buy French Onion soup from someone who knows what they’re doing, unless you’re obsessed.

- Eggs are easy, except poached and omelet, so if that’s your game, go to a restaurant.

- Fuck table salt. Get a cute lil salt cellar and a box of kosher, and feel like a pro whenever grab a pinch.