take a hard left

“What the hell did you do!”

“Not really,” Clyde deadpanned, just staring at the redhead. “It shouldn’t be a big deal. I mean, so what if they love you? If you don’t return the feelings, then that sucks for the other person.”

Then he remembered that Kyle wasn’t asked out almost every single day. Girls didn’t exactly flock him or continuously write him love letters. “I-I mean, yeah, having to turn people down is the worst. It really makes you feel guilty.”

He frowns up a little at the contradiction, but drawls out a slow, “Yeeeah...,” not bothering to think all that hard on it. It’s not like he has a key guide for his aversion, it just happens, has been for a while now and he blames his bad luck for the most part. It’s not hard to envision the future. Probably a fuckton of some pet to foster his attention after his reluctant return home from shoddy tinder dates with a few rare hook ups. 

He’s just not good at snagging up or maintaining relationships, and just, it is what it is. 

“Aww c’mon Kyle, you know you want a little taste of what’s under this!” Kenny snickers gesturing to his clothes. “And I’d be happy to provide lessons on all sorts of bedroom activities, free of charge.”

His eyes narrow, his nose wrinkles, and Kyle has to look away from him, something vaguely akin to disgust wrinkling across his face. Not wholly, not when his gut twists, but it’s there.

He’s good at the whole brooding thing, enough so that when he gets into a good sulk, it follows him everywhere. His head hangs, his shoulders hunched, and his hands squash uncomfortably in his old jean pockets, and anyone with common sense would have thrown them out months ago but fuck if their comfort level isn’t the only thing making him less frustrated now. It’s why he doesn’t notice his surroundings, the people in passing, and he promptly bumps hard into someone, stumbling back and just managing to catch his balance. 

“but this doesn't affect just you. by regarding gender as something you have to earn, it carries on something that trans folk have been trying to fight forever, which is that they have to be working hard and somehow earn the title of their gender”

And just wow, I’m honestly blown back because I hadn’t even considered that or the impact that it might have on someone else, their struggle or the way people think overall. It’s not an excuse, but I want to say that I was literally in the mentality of tit for tat. I felt extraordinarily disrespected, and I sunk down to their level to return it. Even worse, I said something that may have even harmed some of my closest and most amazing friends. 

I won’t lie, I tend to act first and think later and when you’re in a moment, it can be easy to miss the overall picture. While I don’t apologize to that person, I do apologize to my friends currently struggling with their identities. Shit man, even the ones who aren’t because I’m not that person. 

I’M SCREAMIN, YALL AINT RIGHT!