belladonna of sadness @eanzvd - Tumblr Blog

I was born to learn grief, so you shall be the subject of all of mine.

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luminote

I break everything apart only to watch you bleed through all that's mine.

I think really what it is is that I completely give all of myself over to people before they've ever given me a sign they want those things. I don't know how to hold myself back, or temper myself, or slowly allow myself to flourish. Its all of me or nothing, and once they see what the "all" looks like, then why bother continuing?

Why bother putting in effort when theyve already received everything so effortlessly. Why bother searching for more if they've already found everything they could look for. Of course things always end up this way. Of course they do. How could it go any differently?

badtundra

as my final act of love, i’ll stop bothering you.

userlovesbeingused

:)

silent-insanities

Constantly mourning what could have been.

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kosmogrl

what they don’t tell you is that the urge to just leave and start over somewhere far away only gets stronger the older you get

irisili0

Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be loved the way I love—the way I obsess, the way I care, the way I look at them, the way I wonder, the way I almost worship.

pup-purgatory

dreamgirlvibes

The lack of consideration will ruin any bond we ever had.

pup-purgatory

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No because the thing that bothers me is not knowing why the energy changed on their end. I feel like it never does on mine, I still show up as much as I used to, I still text at the same times as I used to, I still send the same long messages and bring the same energy. I'm still available when I used to be available, I still tell them what my plans are before they even ask.

What is it about me that let's people just say "OK I got her, now I don't have to care as much about how I treat her" like 🥲 it breaks my fucking heart. Every damn time. I just slowly turn to dust and then they think I'm worthless and start walking away. What the fuck is that about? What the fuck did I do? Am I really that just unlovable? Am I really just that good at making myself appear more interesting than I am? It hurts so much. Worse and worse every time. I just wish I knew why it happened.

s1ck-pup

i hold onto people like a dying flower holding onto sunlight

kismetkayla

I have no interest in intentionally repeating the same cycles. I’d rather let the past rest and move forward.

wetheurban

Stop ignoring what feels off just because you want something to work.

petaltexturedskies

May Sinclair, Life and Death of Harriett Frean (originally published c. 1922)

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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aidashakur

I wish I felt the love you say you have for me

javarisx-fightingthosedemons

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