eaclib

Surreal Food Comps

Librarian: -slides me a blank library postcard- Write your address on this like it would be mailed to you.

Me: Sure?

Librarian: -takes it back- Great! Now we have mail with your address on it!

Me: …does it really work that way?

“There actually isn’t a rule that says I can’t cast this spell. I checked.”

“Which book?”

So this little kid donated a book to the library a couple weeks ago. 

They’ve been coming into the library every so often to look proudly at their book on display and tell anyone who’ll listen about how they donated THAT book, it has a sticker the librarian had them pick out that they got to sign their name on in the inside cover and everything!!!! (I saw them once excitedly insist a high schooler grab the book and open it to see the sticker, much to the high schooler’s amusement, lol).

Today they came into the library to ask me where their book was, ‘cause they’d looked around the past little while and couldn’t find it anywhere.

“Ah, that’s ‘cause it’s out right now,” I explained.

Their jaw dropped and their eyes went wide, “It’s out?!”

“Yep! It’s not here because it’s at somebody’s house right now.”

“AT THEIR HOUSE?!”

They started practically vibrating in excitement.

“Yep!”

“Like, for real?”

“Uh huh.” I grinned, “It’s the second time it’s been taken out too.”

“TWICE?! It’s been taken out TWICE already?! Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!!!!”

On a busy day, I looked over toward the children’s area and noticed a 5-year-old kid sitting at the Children’s Services desk while the librarian was off helping another patron.

HEY HOW DID YOU GET HANDS HOW DID YOU GET HANDS HOW DID YOU GET HANDS HOW DID YOU GET HANDS HOW DID YOU GET HANDS

—

Neil Gaiman, American Gods.