Nightcloud Apologist

It's one thing to get blatantly violated repeatedly, but the slate wiping is what makes it all the worse. There's a level of reassurance that comes with physical scars. Reminders to carry with you that you are alive and real. That wounds, no matter how big or small, will all eventually heal. And for someone like Sam, who has repeatedly solidified his sense of reality around the idea of earthly pain (at the behest of his brother, mind you), it feels incredibly odious to rob him of that.

Lucifer and Gadreel don't give him a choice in healing. He dies, and they revive him. But Dean doesn't give him a choice in healing either, and it didn't just start with the forced possession. But all the way back when he forced Sam into that panic room. He recognized his brother had an addiction and needed his help but the same sense of punishment that Lucifer believes Sam deserves for denying him access to his body runs through Dean with Sam's denial to just be his little brother. In his case, he believes Sam deserves the added dehumanising aspect of his punishment for not choosing him. For not letting him be the only person he could count on in this time of need. His healing process is expedited, and Dean doesn't even try to research some way to make it less painful, and even then, he deprives Sam of his basic human rights and treats him like an animal rather than his brother. And, Sam is forced to heal, forced out of his addiction whether he likes it or not.

Dean deprives him of his autonomy in that panic room just like he deprives him of his autonomy with Gadreel and then lying about it constantly. And while Lucifer too saw Sam as a puppet to fulfil his wishes, at least he had the balls to tell the truth.

Grace: *Retroactively freaking out about Doing A Misogyny™*

THATS THE FUCKING POINT

because I have never heard such a fundamentally wrong interpretation of Supernatural quite like that one. he wasn’t doing it because he wanted to be the most powerful, all he wanted was to save people. he was scared and devastated by his brother‘s death, a death he felt helpless in preventing, and that was being used to manipulate him into thinking, “maybe if I keep drinking demon blood I can actually save people”

and also, it wasn’t some egotistical thing, he didn’t think he was stronger than the demon blood and would just be fine after, that interpretation might make me the most upset of all.

when Sam Winchester started drinking demon blood, he wanted to DIE. pre-season four, when Dean was in hell, he tried to go into a fight with Lilith with every intention of dying in the process.