“Okay, everybody!” Theo whisper-yelled to the group of Slytherins and Gryffindors packed into Draco & Hermione’s tiny flat. “They are almost here, so shut the fuck up and hide.”
There were a few more scuffling noises, but by the time the door crept open, it was silent until Theo jumped up and the group yelled, “SURPRISE!”
Slow-blinking at the scene in front of her, Hermione turned to Draco and asked, “I thought your birthday was in June?”
“Yeah,” he agreed, confused by the sight of Blaise in a party hat. “And yours is in September so I’m not sure-“
“Here,” Theo shoved a baby doll into Draco’s arms. “I know you don’t have much experience so I thought you might want to practice.”
“Did you buy your weed from that guy behind the Leaky?” Draco scoffed. “Because, Theo, we told you his shit is laced with all sorts of dangerous stuff.”
“No! I mean, yeah, I still buy from him. I’m his only loyal customer, I can’t abandon him. But I’m sober right now, and here to celebrate the two of you as you take the next step in your lives.”
“Oh. Oh no.” Hermione gasped as she took in the sight of the banner declaring, “Baby Malfoy! Coming soon!”
Paler than usual, Draco snarled, “Theo, what the fuck is that?”
“You can’t read now? Damn, fatherhood has you all fucked up.”
Glaring at everyone, Draco looked at Hermione with panic etched in every feature, “It can’t possibly be true, right?”
“I mean, I went to the doctor last week because I’d been ill and I wanted to make sure it wasn’t a side effect of Bellatrix’s curse and I am waiting on the results…”
“Oh, leave her alone, Draco,” Theo put his arms around both their shoulders. “She’s finding out right now too. I was here earlier, looking for snacks.”
“So you are eating all my muggle snacks, you thief!” Hermione yelled.
“Of course it was me,” Theo replied simply. “Anyway, then an owl dropped off the results of Ms. Granger’s medical exam and that’s when I learned that I’m gonna be an uncle.”
“You read our private post,” Draco clarified. “And instead of hiding that you committed yet another felony, you decided to throw a party to share the news?”
Proudly, Theo answered, “Yes. How many times am I gonna get the opportunity to tell you that you’re gonna be a parent? I figure just the once, so I had to make it worthwhile.
“I told him it was a bad idea,” Ginny mused as she walked up and gave Hermione a glass of apple juice and Draco a red solo cup filled with something foul. “But he convinced me it would be funny, and you know what? He was right.”
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