epilogue

Behavior Control

1. Regulate individual’s physical reality

2. Dictate where, how, and with whom the member lives and associates or isolates

3. When, how and with whom the member has sex

4. Control types of clothing and hairstyles

5. Regulate diet – food and drink, hunger and/or fasting

6. Manipulation and deprivation of sleep

7. Financial exploitation, manipulation or dependence

8. Restrict leisure, entertainment, vacation time

9. Major time spent with group indoctrination and rituals and/or self indoctrination including the Internet

10. Permission required for major decisions

11. Thoughts, feelings, and activities (of self and others) reported to superiors

12. Rewards and punishments used to modify

behaviors, both positive and negative

13. Discourage individualism, encourage group-think

14. Impose rigid rules and regulations

15. Punish disobedience by beating, torture, burning,cutting, rape, or tattooing/branding

16.  Threaten harm to family and friends

17. Force individual to rape or be raped

18. Instill dependency and obedience

II. Information Control

Deception: a.                  Deliberately withhold information b.                  Distort information to make it more acceptable c.                  Systematically lie to the cult member

Minimize or discourage access to non-cult sources of information, including: a.                  Internet, TV, radio, books, articles, newspapers, magazines, other media b.                  Critical information c.                  Former members d.                  Keep members busy so they don’t have time to think and investigate e.                  Control through cell phone with texting, calls, internet tracking

Compartmentalize information into Outsider vs. Insider doctrines a.                  Ensure that information is not freely accessible b.                  Control information at different levels and missions within group c.                  Allow only leadership to decide who needs to know what and when

Encourage spying on other members a.                  Impose a buddy system to monitor and control member b.                  Report deviant thoughts, feelings and actions to leadership c.                  Ensure that individual behavior is monitored by group

Extensive use of cult-generated information and propaganda, including: a.                  Newsletters, magazines, journals, audiotapes, videotapes, YouTube, movies and other media b.                  Misquoting statements or using them out of context from non-cult sources

6. Unethical use of confession a. Information about sins used to disrupt and/or dissolve identity boundaries

b. Withholding forgiveness or absolution

c. Manipulation of memory, possible false memories.

III. Thought Control

1.Require members to internalize the group’s doctrine as truth a.  Adopting the group’s ‘map of reality’ as reality

b.  Instill black and white thinking

c.  Decide between good vs. evil

d.  Organize people into us vs. them (insiders vs. outsiders)

2.Change person’s name and identity

3.Use of loaded language and clichés which constrict knowledge, stop critical thoughts and reduce complexities into platitudinous buzz words

4.Encourage only ‘good and proper’ thoughts

5.Hypnotic techniques are used to alter mental states, undermine critical thinking and even to age regress the member

6.Memories are manipulated and false memories are created

7.Teaching thought-stopping techniques which shut down reality testing by stopping negative thoughts and allowing only positive thoughts, including:

a.Denial, rationalization, justification, wishful thinking

b.Chanting

c.Meditating

d.Praying

e.Speaking in tongues

f.Singing or humming

8.Rejection of rational analysis, critical thinking, constructive criticism

9.Forbid critical questions about leader, doctrine, or policy allowed

10.Labeling alternative belief systems as illegitimate, evil, or not useful

IV. Emotional Control

1.Manipulate and narrow the range of feelings – some emotions and/or needs are deemed as evil, wrong or selfish

2.Teach emotion-stopping techniques to block feelings of homesickness, anger, doubt

3.Make the person feel that problems are always their own fault, never the leader’s or the group’s fault

4.Promote feelings of guilt or unworthiness, such as

a.Identity guilt

b.You are not living up to your potential

c.Your family is deficient

d.Your past is suspect

e.Your affiliations are unwise

f.Your thoughts, feelings, actions are irrelevant or selfish

g.Social guilt

h.Historical guilt

5.Instill fear, such as fear of:

a.Thinking independently

b.The outside world

c.Enemies

d.Losing one’s salvation

e.Leaving or being shunned by the group

f.Other’s disapproval

6.Extremes of emotional highs and lows – love bombing and praise one moment and then declaring you are horrible sinner

7.Ritualistic and sometimes public confession of sins

8.Phobia indoctrination: inculcating irrational fears about leaving the group or questioning the leader’s authority

a.No happiness or fulfillment possible outside of the group

b.Terrible consequences if you leave: hell, demon possession, incurable diseases, accidents, suicide, insanity, 10,000 reincarnations, etc.

c.Shunning of those who leave; fear of being rejected by friends, peers, and family

d.Never a legitimate reason to leave; those who leave are weak, undisciplined, unspiritual, worldly, brainwashed by family or counselor, or seduced by money, sex, or rock and roll

e.Threats of harm to ex-member and family

don’t tell your abusers what you’re up to; they will put their energy into sabotaging you, for example, I was fairly clear about intending to move out, and my parents took great effort to convince me that it’s absolutely impossible for me to survive on my own, tried to take away my money by any means necessary, even getting me to sign a contract with a bank so i wouldn’t be able to access my money in there (luckily i didn’t put any of my money there to that scheme failed), and in the end they tried to convince me that any money i made freelancing will be stolen before i ever see it, and tried to prove that the money doesn’t even exist. it didn’t stop me but sure made me a lot more miserable than i should have been

don’t let your abusers know where you are, they will try to get to you; i ran away after an extreme violent outburst my parents threw at me, there was death threats, injuries, broken mobile phone i tried to use to film the violence, door taken away from my room, it was enough for anyone to get the hell away from a place, and when my mother found out my first hiding location she came to tell me that i have to think about why all of that was my fault. again, making me a lot more miserable than i should have been.

first few days (weeks) you’ll be in state of a shock, especially if you’ve been unsure if you’ll be able to get away; i couldn’t determine if i could function at all after escaping, my head was spinning, i had breakdowns every other day convinced that i’m about to die, it was due to the heavy brainwashing that made me believe that i was dead if i were to run away, there was no way to escape the fear and the torture of it, I hope not everyone is brainwashed this way but I do see a lot of people doubting if they have what it takes to go thru life without parents, and the answer is yes you do, you got it all.

your abusers will react in the way that will hurt you most; i know of some parents who aimed to injure their run away kid by pretending they could live just fine without them, like the child was a nuisance to their life and they were better without it, and in that case it was the most hurtful and cruel thing they could have done, since the child slaved their life away for the sake of acknowledgment and attention from parents. In my situation however, my parents kept acting their entire life like i was a huge burden and worthless waste of space, and it made me feel like if I were to run away they would let me be and pretend I never existed, and I would be free. However I was wrong. They contacted my friends, parents of my friends, entire outer family circle and anyone they knew to be in contact with me to make me feel guilty for leaving and tell me i was wrong and should come back, they found the person who sheltered me and convinced even them to tell me to return (this was the person who saw me after the violent attack, while i was shaking and out of my mind with fear, they saw me hide under the bed constantly convinced i was about to be killed, and this person was still convinced by my parents that i should go. back. to that.), they made their friends add me on facebook and request information about my whereabouts until i had a panic attack and deleted facebook, they kept on finding means to contact me and storm me with guilt and shame even after i cut every means of contact i knew, they still sometimes barge into the house of my friend demanding to get in contact with me, demanding that letters, food, even money be given to me that they leave there (it took me a while to figure out they would never ever give me money for the sake of my survival, but would absolutely use money to control and sabotage me) - all you can do is in any case, to be ready for the worst. Be ready for whatever you fear the most they would do - because they will do that. Make plans of resistance, plans of keeping yourself safe thru it, plans of retreat and safety if what they do makes you suicidal.

when you’re free, the trauma symptoms will go berserk at first; your entire system is experiencing protection from abuse for the first time (protection is abusers not knowing where you are or how to get to you), and this means you’ll finally be free to actually feel all the fear, panic, pain, anger, exhaustion, torture and everything else your body has been holding in all this time for the sake of surviving with abusers around. After I settled in my hiding place, I could barely get up for 8 months, panic attacks were almost daily, i couldn’t sleep from how strongly i felt i was about to be killed and punished for escaping, flashbacks and nightmares wouldn’t stop, chronic exhaustion and chronic pain were so bad I could barely move, it was draining my life energy just to make food for myself, and i could often not leave the place and go outside at all, and would get anxiety attacks around any kind of people. Only tip I have is to not feel guilty for resting. Don’t feel guilty for taking your time to recover, you need it, what is happening to you at this moment is recovery from a war, that lasted all of your life. You are wounded and tortured and you need rehabilitation and as much rest as you can get. I know it doesn’t feel good to just lie about and not get anything done, I know the guilt of not being productive, but lying down for almost a year made me feel shameless about resting and taking my time. It also helped me realize that causes of my chronic pain and chronic exhaustion were all the things i was forced to do against my will, basically anything abusers forced me to do, anything school related, and anything i was doing for well being of others and not myself. Resting allowed my natural will to do things to awaken, even though it took long, I now don’t have to force myself to move anymore, i can get up without thinking about it, doing things i want to do makes me more energetic rather than exhausted. So, no more doing things against your will, for anyone.

you will slowly find out just how much your abusers lied to you about the world. and trust me they lied to you a whole fucking lot. you will find out all the threats they made were empty, all their opinions and insults sent at you baseless and imaginary, all the doubts they planted into your mind, will start sounding ridiculous and stupid. A lot of abusers try to make their children incapable of making their own choices and fighting their battles and gathering knowledge about the world, so they would always feel like they can’t do anything on their own, and would turn to their parents for guidance, however, abusive parents while making choices and guidances for you, only thought about themselves and whatever is convenient for them, and not for you, which by default, makes you the person capable of making better choices, because for the first time, choices would be made for you, by you. Control over your life will feel good once you realize it’s not hard or scary, but gives you the power to do what you please, without having to respond to anyone.

there will always be people who will try to make you doubt your decision and blame you and take your abuser’s side, those people are wrong, and they are your enemies. From this point on, anyone who tries to make you doubt your decision to save your life is an enemy. Nobody should ever try to make you doubt if you could have done anything else but pick yourself up and save yourself from abusive environment. You can absolutely decide that those people are scum who would have you dead for their convenience, and turn your back on them.

I don’t have any financial advice, because i only ran away after earning enough money to not end up homeless, and I just did it by freelancing over the internet, which is something my abusers didn’t expect me to be capable of, so they failed to sabotage me on time, they however did make sure to throw abuse my way every time i was doing good and achieving something, but i stubbornly kept working until it got me out.