But who picks up the pieces when itâs 3a.m. and the world is asleep?
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@duringmidnight
But who picks up the pieces when itâs 3a.m. and the world is asleep?
Katrien Pauwels (via wnq-writers)

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Do you ever get upset with a certain person because they did something that made you feel bad? I mean, not even angry at them, just annoyed with the expectation of what they said would happen but turned out completely different. And then you get sad for a while and they stop talking to you bc youâre being immature. Am I not allowed to feel bad or what? So you just try to run after them again as if it was your fault in the first place. Itâs pathetic but youâd rather lose your pride than the person.
Please donât be like this. You have self worth.
He just perfectly described everything I felt last Friday.
Oh no :(
Self, As much as youâve been feeling bad and sad - or depressed - the last couple of months and it has not stop since then, you know how much youâve been wrong and how you overreacted and how youâve been selfish. It might be true, that you beat yourself with the guilt and the anger and with all the emotions that came along with it, but it is the way you have been living your entire life. You always expect to be perfect; to be the obedient one and to act supreme. Itâs alright, but you should always know better, okay? No need for petty thoughts or feelings or choice. You should have known not to expect, not to assume, and never to feel. You got too close but I know how you only want what is best. Self, remember that it is not always about you and how you feel and how you need to always have an answer, a solution, an opinion. Itâs okay to be upset or angry but remember that youâd rather burn yourself and save what is worth more than the universe. Understand and feel and know that there will always be guilt after the anger and the sadness, that you will always feel responsible for the chaos and the dilemmas. It will never cease to haunt you. You know how hard it is to be the one to understand, but always have patience for you love them as much as you love Him. You know yourself more than anyone in this realm, okay? You donât need to be selfish or rude or mean or petty. You always ask jokingly as to who should be the one to adjust. Well, this is the answer you were looking for.
Itâs frustrating to want to go home when I feel ignored, exhausted, or fucked up, but not know where âhomeâ is exactly at. Itâs wanting to leave, but not knowing where to go.
do you ever like⌠hear somebody make a joke about how sad they are and everyone else is laughing but youâre sitting there like: i gotta help this guy. holy shit are you okay bud. nice joke but for real iâm here when you need me we can talk about anything no judgement

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Friends, Not just to oone but everyone in general who are close to me. I don't know why I'm doing this, but I think it's from being sad and all these realisations the past few days had led me up to this. Now, I think I can say that none of you would dare to be always there for me; to give me the world as if I deserve it. It's sad to think because I'm the one who is willing to do just that. I'm willing to make surprises, to give gifts, to always be there and give support and defend you but none of you ever did. It's sad to think you wouldn't do elaborate, lovely, grand surprises for me just because my birthday does not fall on the school calendar. It's sad because you actually forgot about my birthday or at least had the care to remember it. It's sad that you couldn't visit me or at least ask me how I've been while I'm always there doing/ asking the same things. It's sad because you couldn't even dare to care that much for me, or to support me; to always act carelessly without asking how I'd feel. I'm sad that it should be me who should be the bigger person. It should be me to understand and to listen and to not conplain. I'm sad because it feels like you stopped caring. I'm sad that it feels like its literally a one sided thing for me and I'm only the one reaching out for you. It's sad to realise these things and it's worse to realise that it's true.
Writer,
Iâve been with you since our high school days and you donât know how Iâm happy to always be there for you; to support you and to always make you happy but I guess it was never enough. Not as enough as from the support you get from your college buddies, right? No, I donât want to drag them to this argument thatâs already burned twice. I know youâre willing to listen but I donât know if youâre willing to understand because I really donât know where Iâm standing in all of this or if I even have someplace at all. You wanted to know why I responded so negatively that day? Because, yes, itâs fucking shit. I donât think you understand the gravity of 1 day from 1 class. Youâre not the one who skipped school. Youâre not the one who was wasting 70K worth of education for love. To be honest, you weren't part of that argument. Labas ka sa usapan na 'yon. You were not part of it. I don't know why all of a sudden you were involved. You're sad that I reacted that way? That I chose to show my frustrations on Twitter? Well I'm sorry but I'm sad too; Sad that after all the support, after being there for you in your ups and downs you compared me to them. " Bakit sila sobrang supportive? " Because they were not the ones who were stood up. It seems as if after all these years were not enough and all it took was one mistake from me.I'm sad that you could travel to my school and the reason was not for me. I'm sad that you wouldn't even ust if not for your lover. I was always there for you then all it took was this? I'm sad that you wouldn't return anything every time I ask her to say "hi" to you everytime you meet. Did I ever became a priority to you? Was I wrong to go against you? Can't I say anything? I don't know, does it really matter? What's the point? Nobody gets my point. Nobody tries to. I'm disappointed but do I matter? Do i mean anything to you at this point? I guess dead persons society really is dead.
Alliance, I guess this will really be my last frustrated, fucked up post I will ever do. Honestly, I would assume that you didn't really listen, not yesterday, not the day before, not now, and probably never. You just did it in order for us to make up and resolve the issue and for the group to be less awkward. It's not your fault if I feel this way because I don't know if I could still trust you or to be comfortable with you or what. Should I still trust you? Should I still tell you stories that i reserve for friends? All my worries? All my fears? No? I don't know since nothing makes sense anymore. It's a given that we're never going back to what we could call our alliance. There's nothing for us to save anyway. There's no reason I guess. I mean, it feels that as if when we talk i need to assure myself if you're talking to me as my friend or her lover. There's nothing in between because it's hard; for it seems so obvious that all that ever matters is love. It's shit? Then listen to me - but I doubt that you will - and I'll explain again my side. You don't understand the gravity of your actions, of your words, of your reasoning. Of course the shoe fucking fits because it means your guilty. IT.FUCKING.FITS.BECAUSE.IT'S.FUCKING.TRUE. You don't know how much I literally want to slap you out of your senses, but you were too pre-occupied to be a lover than listening as a fucking friend. Can we still call it that? Being friends? Or are we back to acquaintances? Or less than that. Because if you call us family, then you would have listened to our side. You should have understand how we're sad you didn't even bother to tell us anything? What was so hard? You said you're going to make it up? Then why do I feel like you're not trying? Then why do I feel like you're not as affected? Then why do I feel like you will always choose her than us? Than me? In every situation and in every argument? Even when I was explaining you we're still with her and it took every ounce in me not to smash my phone. Gotta be the bigger person, right? I'm not even sure if I should scoff when you said I was you "best friend". Right now, it doesn't seem like it. I don't even know if you're really reaching out. And you don't know how much I wanted to look you dead straight in the eyes earlier when you jokingly told me that your sister chose her lover than staying for your birthday. You didn't know how much I wanted to ask you how it fucking feels to get left behind. To be the option not chosen. " I've always been asking if there was a problem, you should've not ranted like that " You don't even know there's a problem. " That's why I'm always asking" Well excuse me that was the first time you ever fucking asked. I don't know, there's nothing more to say. I don't even know if you're still willing to understand or willing to listen.
Everything. Youâll learn about everything â bad habits, secrets, dreams, and plans. Youâll dive deep into their souls until nothing about them can scare you anymore; No hobby that would intimidate you, no word that would confuse you, no addiction that would make you leave, nothing.
Wreyn (via wnq-writers)
have you ever caught someone staring at you and wondered what theyâre thinking about like if itâs something positive or negative if itâs a passing thought or a long internal string of things if theyâre even thinking about you at all or you just happen to be in the line of sight while their mind drifts off about something completely unrelated

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It was a Saturday night, around 20:00 and I was walking down the streets of the city of Amsterdam. I really don´t know why was I outside that night, I mean, I only went out my apartment if it was because of school or for a cup of coffee. Usually, around 20:00, I´m sitting at my old study table, reading a book or scrolling through my blog. So I guess that one Saturday night was a little different. I finally decided to take in some fresh air.
I felt thirsty after almost an hour of walking so I walked inside a coffee shop. I went straight to the counter and ordered a cup of Hazelnut Macchiato. The barmaid told me to wait for a couple of minutes; she also suggested that I should try to look for a table because sooner or later, the coffee shop will be packed with customers. I really didn´t want to move or anything so I just stood beside the counter.
âMa´am?â the barmaid said. My coffee was ready so I collected my cup from the counter and I noticed the barmaid staring at me, I mouthed a thank you.
I sat at the nearest table from the counter then placed my cup gently on the table. After I got comfortable with my seat, I took a sip of my coffee. It was achingly hot, almost impossible to drink, so I let my coffee cool down a bit. I realized that I brought my purse with me; it was clinging on my wrist. There were three things in there: cash, gloss and a box of unopened cigarette. I zipped my purse and let it clung into my wrist. I looked around then I finally read a âno smokingâ sign hanging near the door. I collected my things then went outside so I could smoke.
It was pretty crowded outside, maybe because it was the only place allotted for smokers. I stood at the corner, still holding the cup of Hazelnut Macchiato I just bought until a guy wearing a blue plaid shirt spoke.
âSit, if you don´t mind because I don´t.â He was staring at me attentively. His eyes were blue, his hair was mahogany and he´s posture was bad. I really don´t know him but it´s the opposite of what I´m feeling. I really feel like I already know a lot about this guy.
Without any word of gratitude, I sat down in the chair opposite his. I drank my coffee while observing him, his features and everything. I noticed he was holding a stick of cigarette. He´s really handsome, something about him makes me question a lot of things. I dismissed the thought immediately. I almost forgot about my unopened box of cigarette. I finished my coffee then I cleared my throat.
âCould you please light my cigarette?â I murmured, not sure if he heard what I said.
âNo, sorry but I don´t smoke.â He said.
I was so confused I decided not to say a single word again. I thought he was playing with me. How could he ânot smokeâ if he´s clearly holding a stick of cigarette, who´s he kidding, I thought.
I was tapping my stick of unlit cigarette in the table. I noticed he was looking at me so I rolled my eyes and frowned. I saw him smile then he took a sip of his coffee, I can see he ordered something with ice. After a couple of minutes of sitting there, he finally decided to say something, he forced a cough.
âIt´s a metaphorâ he whispered.
âI said it´s a metaphor, you see, I never lit a single stick of cigarette, you see ââbefore he could finish his speech, a girl wearing a blue-green dress approached him. The girl was beautiful, green eyes, short hair, just perfect. The guy in blue stood up to hug her.
âReady?â the girl asked.
âAlwaysâ He said.
I was frozen in my seat; my eyes were glued to them. I can´t believe what I´m seeing, itâs like I´m dreaming. They had probably noticed my weird reaction so they both looked at each other.
âOKAY?â they both said.
âOhâOkayâ I replied
They walked together then the girl in the dress turned her head to check on me. I smiled at her and I mouthed a good night.
After several minutes of sitting there, staring at my unlit cigarette, holding the empty cup of coffee, I smiled.
âAugustus Waters and Hazel Grace Lancasterâ I whispered.
In the midst of words between a yes and a no, you chose something far-fetched from reality; a possibility, a word that might eternally haunt me; you said maybe.
hishiddenletters || Iâve been thinking since then (via hishiddenletters)
âkailan pa naging mali na piliing maging masaya ka?â
âkapag nakakasakit ka na ng ibaâ
Iâve got this tiny pang of regret when I think of how much I have probably missed out on in the last few years because I was too scared to take a risk, or too shy to speak up, or too worried to be bold.
Jessi Kirby, Golden (via seoulobsession)
That's the thing. You said it's okay when clearly it's not

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Sometimes you donât think and you donât feel because you donât know how. At these moments, just exist, just breathe and just be there. You are someone, never forget this.
rabischka (via wnq-writers)